Chapter 3

Nick came into my apartment, uninvited into my apartment then cleaned it all for no reason. It's just so weird. I walked out into my living room, the sunlight pouring into the room. Everything picked up and put into its proper place. There was even a basket with my dirty clothes in it. I grabbed my cigarettes, lit one then walked into my bathroom. I carefully removed my clothes and finished my cigarette before going into the shower. The hot drops of water sizzled on my skin.

I just have to keep smiling and act as if everything is all right. That's all they need to see, as long as I'm smiling they will leave me alone, because they will think that I'm happy.

I finish my shower then dressed a pair of jeans and a black wife beater. I lit another cigarette laid down on the couch with my ash tray on the floor. My wet hair spread out on the couch.

Nick came into the apartment with two bags in hand. He put the bags down near the door then knelt in front of me. "What are you doing?" Nick asks me sweetly taking my cigarette from me.

"Waiting for you to come back." I answered him.

"Come on, I'll make you some food." I smiled at him and got my cigarette back. I helped him carry the bags into the kitchen. I put the groceries away then sat cross legged on the counter. Nick stood over my stove and made two cheese omletts's. He handed me a plate with a glass of orange juice. He stood next to me leaning against the counter. We ate in silence. I only had a little over half of my omlette before i stopped. "Is that all your having?"

I nodded yes, "It was good I just wasn't that hungry."

Nick smiled, "It's ok." He took my plate and his putting them into the sink. I followed him over to my couch and I laid my head on him. "Sar tell me what's wrong? Sweetie you don't look like you use to."

"Nothings wrong with me. I'm fine actually." I pulled a fake smile.

"Your lieing to me. I found you here with your apartment a mess, beer bottles everywhere,. Everything was dark and gloomy, almost like the inside of a bar," He started stroking my hair. My breathing started to hitch, "I'm so scared for you sweetie, so scared."

I wrapped my arms around him, needing to feel his skin on mine. "It's going to end all for nothing, just like it started. I'm sorry if i hurt you Nicky, I'm sorry if i hurt anyone, I just want it to all stop."

"What do you want to stop?" I buried my face in his shirt and said nothing. My eyes were burning to spill there tears. "Sweetie." That was all it took. Nick lifted my head. I quickly hid my face from him.

"No please, Nick don't look at me."

He kissed my head, "I love you so much, it doesn't matter what you look like. Your beautiful no matter what."

"Your going to know that I have emotion, ugly emotions." I whispered to him.

"Everyone does, everyone has emotions. No one can make them go away either."

"No one has noticed me before. Why should anyone notice me now?"

Nick lifted me up onto his lap, forcing me to look at him, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I didn't notice how much pain that you are in. I'm sorry."

"It's not just you Nick, don't feel as if is just you."

Nick caught me off guard and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and felt his hands running down my back. He pulled apart from me, and i slightly whimpered. "Let me help you ok?" Nick said to me.

I nodded yes then went in for another kiss.