Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything Harry Potter related, including the two fab people this story is about. I am merely borrowing them from J.K Rowling's giant toy box of greatness and will return them undamaged......they may have some chocolate stains on them though.

Hiya folks.

Well here you go. A brand new piece of fiction from me. I have no beta so any spelling or grammar mistakes are my own.

More midnight plot bunny attacks for this one. Damn them. They are cunning and evil. A deadly combination.............

Back When I Was Dead.

By Chaimera

Chapter 1: A Predicament.

"Well this is a predicament isn't it?"

"How is it, Albus, that you possess the mind boggling talent to understate everything?"

"You know my dear, that is disrespect to your superiors." He looked at the young woman before him with a twinkle in his eyes.

"It's been five yea....oh shut up you old goat." Hermione glared at her former headmaster as he chuckled good-naturedly.

"Really Albus this isn't funny, and you shouldn't tease Hermione." Came a new voice. The pair turned to see a young couple.

The woman who had spoken stepped forward. "Don't take any notice of him Hermione, he never changes."

Hermione frowned. "I noticed. No matter what he doesn't change." She paused for a moment looking into the pool the four were standing beside. "But really, this is serious. Something has to be done, now."

Now the young man came forward putting his arm around his young wife's waist. "Hermione and Lily are right Albus. This isn't going to be solved be a lemon drop and a few well placed hints."

Albus nodded slowly stroking his long white beard and staring into the pool himself. "Well, I have been discussing this with fate and she agrees whole heartedly with me."

The other three rolled their eyes.

"And what exactly is this brilliant plan of yours. Fate has been known to make mistakes you know!!" Grumbled Hermione glancing over to where a wraith like beauty looked into another pool.

Albus smiled lightly at the frustrated young woman.

"She is truly sorry you know Hermione. It wasn't entirely her fault."

"Oh so she just accidentally got me killed, right? Oops." Hermione threw her arms up and began to pace around the pool glowering.

James smiled and pulled his wife to him. "You think five years of being dead would have calmed that temper." Lily stifled a giggle as she watched the young woman glare at fate who was currently picking flowers.

"You know, she reminds me of Severus when she does that." Hermione's head snapped around and Albus laughed.

She sighed resignedly. "Well Albus. What's this undoubtedly crackpot scheme you two have come up with this time?"

"We need to send someone back."

James frowned "You mean like a ghost?"

"No. Send them back. Cause them to live once again. Play God, if you will."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you used to do that anyway?"

James smirked. "Witty today aren't we?"

"Careful James. Or I'll go to Harry in a dream and tell him what a git his father really is."

Lily ignored the bickering pair and turned to Albus. "Two questions."

"Yes, my dear?"

"Well one: Isn't sending someone back extremely dangerous and against nature? And two: Who?" James and Hermione stopped fighting, wanting to hear the answers.

"Well firstly, yes it is quite dangerous to the person's soul and obviously they have a choice. As for nature, it can be rearranged, just this once."

There was a contemplative silence and of course it was Hermione's curious voice that broke it. "Well who is it? Don't keep us in suspense."

"You."

"Excuse me." The look on her face was almost comical.

"You Hermione. You aren't supposed to be here anyway. You seemed the logical choice."

She paused deep in thought. "Alright. Let's do it."

Lily frowned in concern. "Hermione are you sure about this? Your soul could get lost forever. Or worse, destroyed."

She shrugged. "Hey anything's better than hanging around here. At least you guys get to go to heaven or wherever that bloody portal goes. Besides," She smiled at the couple.

"Harry would be proud of me. So, when do I go? And for that matter where do I go?"

Albus smiled back at her. "I am glad you decided to go dear. As for where, I have decided that the safest place you should go, because you know you can't let anyone even Harry, see you..."

"Out with it Albus."

"You will be with Severus."

"What?!?"

Lily placed a calming hand on her friends shoulder. "Albus are you sure that's wise. When he finds her Severus will try to hex her into oblivion."

Hermione scowled. "I can take him, its just I can't stand the greasy git!"

Lily grinned. "I take it back Albus. Severus is perfect."

Hermione sighed. "The whole universe is against me. I knew it."

Albus' face set. "Are you ready for this Hermione? From what I hear it's not pleasant."

"Albus, I've already been killed once. I think I'll be ok."

He looked down and Hermione rolled her eyes. "We've been over this already Albus. Many times. It was not your fault. Everyone else was to busy with the final battle. And we won too. So there's nothing to worry about. Of course I'm still sore about dieing in the first place, but I blame the bad guys. Now let's get this show on the road."

Lily came up and hugged her. "Be careful down there."

"Will do. Thanks for everything Lily."

James came up behind his wife. "Well Granger, can't say I'm going to miss you."

Hermione grinned. "Sod off, Potter."

They shook hands and she turned to Albus.

"Well, thank you sir."

"Don't be silly Hermione. You've always been quite dear to me....Enough. This is not goodbye, merely farewell."

The three once again rolled their eyes. "You are quite cliché Albus, did you know that?"

Hermione smiled. "Well, guess its time to go for a swim. Bye."

With that Hermione Granger, 22 years old, five years dead stepped in to a shallow pool of water and disappeared.

James laughed suddenly. "What is so amusing?"

"I just can't wait to see the look on Snivelus' face when he finds her...ouch. Lily what was that for?"

Severus Snape sat upright in his bed as a silent alarm went off in his head. It was triggered by one of the many wards he had around his classroom and entrance to his personal chambers. There was someone here that wasn't supposed to be. The question racing through his mind was who?

No student could have gotten past his wards and that left some distinctly unpleasant alternatives to his midnight visitor.

He had been having the oddest dream. Albus Dumbledore had been there. He had told Severus that something very bad had happened but he had sent someone to help. It was odd that he dreamed at all, ever.

He grabbed his wand and a robe and headed down the passageway towards his office and private store, as he moved quietly towards his classroom he could hear someone moving about. Looking for something, he thought. But he wasn't working on anything of particular importance or value at the moment.

He listened intently, hearing a voice. It was definitely a woman.

"Ohh, bloody fuck, Merlin's balls. Old sod didn't say it was going to be this sore. Bastard. Where the fuck is it? Jesus Christ on crutches! You'd think the greasy git had some bloody pain killer potion like any respected potions master. Heh, right. Snape, respected. Not by me. Ha.... Owww, fuck!"

Severus' blood was boiling. This was obviously a student or at least a former student. All of the staff knew better than to break in to his rooms in the middle of the night. He slowly approached the intruder.

"That is quite enough." He bellowed in his best formidable death eater voice.

The crouched figure froze but did not turn. She was in black robes he noted and assumed she was a student.

"I will not have students breaking into my stores in the dead of the night, I will not tolerate that kind of language in this school, and I assure you, I am quite a respected Potions Master miss...."

He hauled her to her feet and spun her around.

The firey eyes he found himself staring into he had been sure he would never see again. He shoved her against the wall but let go of her as though he had been burned.

"What black arts is this?"

Her head hit the wall as he pushed her away and she cried out in pain. She clutched her head and glared at the glowering potions master whose wand was pointed at her chest.

"None you ruddy git. Ow, fuck. Well, this is the bloody return I get, huh? No 'welcome back Hermione, Nice to see you Hermione, Good to see that you're not dead Hermione'. Nope I get a splitting head ache."

Severus frowned. "Who are you?"

"Who do you think I am? The tooth fairy? Merlin. Have you got any pain killers or what?"

"I don't believe you."

She sighed and rested against wall rubbing her temples. "I should have expected this I suppose. I'm sorry. Just let me get my head together Professor."

I have to be dreaming still Thought Severus.

Hermione looked at him. "Do you really want to hear this now? You look like you could use some coffee. In fact I could use some coffee." Severus just growled.

"Right. Proof of identity. Well, I, Hermione Granger, previously deceased have been sent to you by Albus Dumbledore to prevent the fall of the Wizarding world..... again."

Severus had a shocked look on his face but had not yet lowered his wand. "My dream..Albus...but.."

Hermione interrupted him "So that's how he told you. I was wondering how he was going to warn so you didn't hex back to the twelfth century. If you need further proof, I have this." She rolled up the sleeve of her robe to expose her right fore arm. On it was a burn scar.

It had happened in her seventh year. Albus had ordered the pair to work together on a potion that would negate the effect of the imperius curse. One of the evenings Harry Potter had come looking for her. He had rushed in and in the process upset the substance she was working with and it had spilled. Due to the volatile properties of the ingredients healing charms could not be used on the burn and she had been scarred for life. Severus had given Harry detention with Filch for a month. Because the potion was top secret no one else knew what had happened or even the nature of her injury.

It was enough to prove her identity he knew, but Severus had to be sure. He motioned her towards his office without a word and she went. He grabbed a piece of parchment off his desk and taped it with his wand. The marauders map had been replicated during the war, only without the insults. He glanced at the area of the map that represented his office and sure enough standing behind the dot that was labelled Severus Snape was the dot labelled Hermione Granger.

Hold on.

Behind? He spun around to face Hermione who smirked at him.

"Still don't trust me Professor? Well I do hope that helped." She gestured towards the map and took a seat in front of his desk.

He sat behind it and rested his chin on steepld fingers. "Her...Miss Granger."

She looked at him expectantly. "Yes Professor?"

"Why exactly, are you here?"

She opened her mouth to answer but stopped suddenly looking distraught.

"Miss Granger? What is the matter?"

She looked at him. "I can't remember."

"Ahh." Said James as he looked in to the pool with a frown.

"Oh dear." Murmured Lily with a worried look at Albus.

"Yes. Well, this is an.... unexpected side effect."

"An unexpected side effect of what?"

"Well you see, when myself and Fate were talking, well...."

Several minuets later James and Lily stared at their former teacher and close friend in utter shock. James was the first to speak.

"Albus you really can be a meddling old fool sometimes, did you know that? What possessed you?"

Lily jutted in. "You know we have the utmost respect for you Albus, and I appreciate that you want them both to be happy, but you could have seriously jeopardised the whole thing. You know better than to trust fate. She's flighty. The littlest think can change her mind."

James sighed. "Well, all we can do is watch and hope it works."

End Chap.

Muahahacough...ahem. Anyway. What did you all think. Was it fabulous? Should I go throw myself off a bridge due to the awfulness of my writing skills? My fate rests in your hands. Review, you know you want to.

Much Grá Lads.