Don't screw this up, don't screw this up!
NNY drummed his fingers against the table of a local diner, and so far things were going pretty great.
Maybe too great.
Fuck. How does he tell Jenny he kills people? Just slip it in mid-conversation?
"This flavour of ice cream is to die for... Also, I kill people."
This was a mistakeāa huge mistake. By the night's end, NNY would be standing over Jenny's body as she slowly bleeds to death, and no matter how tempting it may be to kill her with a pair of complimentary salt and pepper shakers, he had to resist.
He can't kill her. No, he won't kill her...
NNY was much better these days; he wasn't sick anymore. The doughboys were gone, as well as the wall monster.
Just maybe NNY wouldn't screw this date up. Just maybe Jenny would go home alive tonight.
He hoped so. She may be as quiet as a mouse, but Jenny was good company. There was no ounce of badness in her whatsoever, and it appeared NNY had terribly misjudged her.
NNY had genuinely believed that she was trying to steal his place in line at the CD Cesspool, and he really had been an asshole.
Ironic how he had become as bad as the people he'd despised. Jenny was a lovely person, and by principle, he would make sure that his knives stayed inside his pockets tonight.
But then what comes after their firstdate? If Jenny survived tonight, then would they go on a second date?
Wait. A third date?
Shit. What if he tried to kill her on the tenth date? What if he tried to kill her on theirweddingnight?!
"Happy wedding day, sweetheart. Here's a knife in your diaphragm!"
NNY's heart pounded. Things just got too real.
He had to get out of here!
"This ice cream is delicious!" Jenny peeped.
She licked her spoon and something came over NNY when he spied her pink tongue. His pants grew a little tighter, and what the hell was going on with him?
Hold on. Was NNY... aroused?
Nonsense.
NNY didn't get aroused. He had evolved beyond those natural tendencies that much more primitive men sought in moments of heightened desire.
So why did the blood rush through his head the more she licked that goddamn spoon? And why was he sweating?
His pants grew even tighter, and it wouldn't be long before he had to go home and change into a new pair.
Raging horror, make it stop! Please make it stop!
"Are... you all right?"
NNY snapped back to his senses once he heard that angelic voice, and then he looked up to find Jenny staring at him.
She had just asked if he was all right, and it boggled him. When was the last time someone asked him that?
He laughed, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm... I'm fine..."
Yet he wasn't, though. He had just been thinking about snatching that spoon from her hand and sticking it in her...
Oh, dear, God!
Jenny didn't seem all that convinced, and for someone so supposedly quiet, she really did like to ask an awful lot of questions...
"Are you sure? You haven't touched your ice cream."
NNY chuckled, pushing the salt and pepper shakers away from him (just in case). "Of course I'm fine. I'm... just waiting for it to cool down."
She blinked, and NNY realised his mistake.
Ice cream doesn't cool down. It melts!
God, he was so stupid tonight. Which was a crying shame because NNY was normally quite smart.
In all honesty, he had lost his appetite.
Jenny scooped up another mouthful, and NNY watched as she slipped it between her rosebud lips.
Damn. That was one adorable little mouth. She was cute all over, and she really was a teeny thing.
NNY still couldn't believe she was real. Was he truly not looking at a doll?
Her skin was like porcelain, and her eyes and face were as round as the moon.
He had never been much to look at in the looks department, but he wouldn't be surprised if the whole world suddenly stopped to just get one glimpse of Jenny.
She had so much natural beauty, yet she had absolutely no idea. How could someone like her even exist?
As beautiful as she was, though, she was far too delicate. She had to be... what? Five foot?
The girl was a pixie compared to NNY.
And that was exactly why killing her would be so easy...
She wouldn't even be able to put up a fight. Not like the last one he dated.
The memory of that night still made NNY's eye twitch.
Everything was just going too well. He had something beautiful with Jenny after all. Something new and untainted by misery...
He should end this date before the rot sets in, freezing it forever in time. And then NNY would always have the beauty of the start...
Don't let the beautiful moon set.
Capture it.
Freeze it...
NNY reached around for his knives, never taking his eyes off the lovely Jenny the whole time.
She truly was lovely to look at and so, so kind...
She was a good person who would never resort to violent acts of murder: a good person who actually gave a damn whether NNY was all right or not.
His arm froze halfway to his pocket, and then a cold sweat dripped down his back. His muscles trembled, and he finally pulled himself free of his trance.
Shit. He'd almost just killed another one!
He had to stop this madness before it escalated further.
NNY shot up, throwing notes at the table. He even left a large tip for the waitress because he was feeling generous.
"Ready to go?" he asked, unable to look at her.
She glanced up. "So soon? But you haven't eaten your ice cream."
NNY's eyes bugged. Then he did the unspeakable. He feigned stomach ache.
What a moron.
"Stomach... hurting... about to projectile vomit out of every orifice... m-must go..."
He doubled over for dramatic effect and where was his Oscar?
Jenny's eyes brightened with concern. "Oh, no. We must get you home immediately."
What? Home? No! He couldn't let her go back home with him!
For starters, he didn't want her to see his messy house, and he was pretty sure he'd forgotten to put the skulls away.
One housed salted peanuts for crying out loud!
He had to do something quickly to distract her. Maybe he should point at something behind her and then run.
At least that would put her off him for the next century. No one likes a date that bails on them after all.
"No. It's fine, Jenny. I can walk home by myself."
She giggled, blushing bright pink. "No, silly. I meant my home. My apartment is only a few blocks away. You can come back to my place until you feel better..."
What? That was even worse!
The last place NNY wanted to be right now was inside a room that smelled like her.
Quite frankly, she smelled fantastic. Cherry blossom, cotton candy, it was just too much for his senses.
"No. It's best I go back to my own house. Alone. I... don't want you to see me vomit. Also... my rabbit will be worried sick about me..."
Now that was an awful lie: Nailbunny died a long time ago. Now he was just a ghoulish, distant voice who lived inside NNY's picture frame.
She gasped. "You have a bunny? How adorable! I love bunnies."
NNY sniggered nervously. "Yeah, me too, but he doesn't like strangers. Well, goodbye, Jenny."
He started to leave.
Sadness danced inside her crystal blue eyes, and NNY had to look away. It made his chest hurt when she pulled that face.
"All right. You go on home to your bunny and get better, NNY."
NNY felt as if he just swallowed a bag of lead, and he hated having to do this. Jenny deserved better.
They left the small diner together, stopping just outside on the sidewalk. This was the part where they had to split ways.
This was going to be hard. In truth, NNY did want to see her again; he just didn't want to end up killing her.
But the kindest thing he could do for her now was to give her his nothing.
He can't hurt what he can't acknowledge.
Jenny smiled. "Well, goodbye, NNY, and... take care..."
She reached out her hand.
Seeing no harm in the gesture, he took her offering of a handshake, regretting it the moment their fingers touched.
What the fuck just ran up his arm? Electricity? His hair stood up on end, so he stuffed his hand into his coat pocket to stop the tingling sensation.
Yet it wouldn't stop.
He bowed his head. "Yeah, you too, Jenny..."
She smiled sweetly, then turned up the street to go back to her apartment.
NNY's heart wouldn't stop pounding. He was pretty sure sparks flew when their hands touched just now.
It was probably in his head. Sparks don't fly when people's hands touch.
The mere thought was preposterous.
NNY did the unthinkable next. He looked back.
Maybe it had something to do with the spark he felt, but he wanted to watch as she left his life forever.
He spotted her pink head disappearing into the crowd, and the sorrow that came over him next was completely devastating.
There he goes, chasing another one away...
This was how it had to be. NNY could not be happy.
He had tried many times, and it was just impossible. At least he could ensure her safety this way.
His nothing would be the very thing that saved her tonight.
He turned away from the diner, heading in the direction of his house. That was when he spied a group of men watching Jenny across the street.
Flames ignited inside him.
NNY knew that look...
That was the look of a beast that had just found its prey, and like hell he was going to let those beasts prey on Jenny.
He acted on instinct, pushing his way through the crowd until he reached her side. Several people snapped, and one asshole even insulted him.
"Watch it, freak!"
NNY ignored the insult, pausing to catch his breath.
Jenny looked at him in surprise. "NNY? What are you doing here? I thought you had to go home and vomit?"
He glanced across the street, grinding his teeth when he spotted those men again.
Now that he was by her side, they lost all interest. The city was a dangerous place, after all, and thank Mr. Satan he had the sense to look back.
Jenny was not safe. With or without him.
"I'm fine now. Despite the filth that lurks on these streets at night, I no longer need to vomit."
Jenny beamed widely, and NNY looked at her surprised.
She really had no idea of the danger she was just in, and how could anyone be so ignorant?
Well, she had agreed to go on a date with NNY of all people, yet still...
Those men...
NNY may be sick in the head, but he would never be that sick.
"Well, I'm glad. I had a really good time tonight, NNY. I didn't want it to be over."
Despite how livid he was, he couldn't help but smile back. Apart from the whole "nearly killing her thing," NNY had had a pretty good time too.
There really wasn't anything else for them to do now but walk the streets. At least with NNY by her side, Jenny was safe.
Well, as safe as a young woman could be in the presence of a homicidal maniac.
Damn. The night brings out the strangest of people...
They passed a circus clown making erotic balloon animals on one corner, and then an organ dealer tried to sell Jenny a heart.
She yelped, gripping ahold of NNY, and once again, he felt that tingly sensation.
While he was prepared to walk her home to ensure her safety, NNY was not prepared for her proximity.
Not after their handshake.
They waded through crowds of drunken people, and NNY ground his teeth. Someone laughed at his boots, but that didn't bother him nearly as much as the group of women who cackled at Jenny.
NNY reached for his knives.
Fucking pricks. No one laughed at NNY's date. Especially when she hung her head, looking as if she wanted to cry.
NNY knew exactly how she felt, but he was done with crying. Those shitheads were just not worth devoting any attention to anymore.
They would never change, so it was best to ignore them.
Or kill them...
Either way worked just fine.
Finally, they made it to Jenny's stoop. She looked at him expectantly, and this was it...
The moment he had to let her down.
There was just no nice way to tell someone that you didn't want to see them again.
This was for her benefit, though. Even if he didn't end up killing her, he would never be able to reciprocate her feelings.
NNY was just too far gone. The coldness had already seized so much of him, and it looked as if he'd finally gotten his wish.
He was part man, part ice now, and it wouldn't be long until he was completely cold.
And then he would never be able to feel a thing again ever again.
No remorse, no sorrow, no hate.
Just,... nothing.
NNY shuffled his feet. "So... um... tonight was great..."
She smiled at him, and his heart skipped a beat.
Jenny had one hell of a cute smile. Dimples, sparkling eyes...
It was still hard to believe she was a real person.
It was just a shame she couldn't see that loveliness for herself. Maybe one day she would meet someone who would remind her every day.
No doubt it was what she deserved.
Her big jewel-like eyes shone beneath the streetlight, and it was pretty obvious she was expecting something from him.
NNY's throat constricted as he finally lost the ability to speak.
His silence seemed to say it all, though.
She looked away, closing her eyes, and NNY felt like a stinking pile of shit. Now he remembered all the times Psycho Doughboy told him to go and kill himself for all the sins he'd committed.
But no sin could ever compare to this.
This was beyond redemption.
For the first time in NNY's life, he felt like a villain.
A true villain.
"It's... okay," she whispered. "I understand. I guess I should have seen this coming, but... it's fine, NNY. We... can just remain friends..."
Actually, that wasn't looking very likely either. It was best they just didn't see each other again at all.
He sighed, folding his arms. "I'm sorry."
Jenny hung her head, crying the world's most silent tears. They dripped down her cheeks, marring her perfect face, and it looked as if NNY had only gone and killed her after all.
He just broke her heart.
Going on a date with her had been highly selfish in the end. But he had to do it.
It was the final phase of his development...
The phase before he goes fully cold.
It was just a shame her feelings had to get hurt in the process. She embraced love and affection, whereas NNY abhorred it.
However, their date helped NNY to determine one thing: if he couldn't even find it in himself to love someone like Jenny, then there truly was no hope left for him.
Heartless to the core.
"D-don't be..." she breathed.
Now all was silent.
With a heavy breath, he started on his way home. But then Jenny stopped him. He regarded her from the corner of his eye.
She extended her arms. "May I?"
NNY had no idea what to say. He never expected she would want anything to do with him after this, yet she harboured no ill feelings towards him whatsoever.
If only he had met her sooner... Maybe things could have turned out so differently.
She had really put him in a difficult spot. Yet seeing no harm in a hug, he let her wrap her arms around him, and her candy-floss hair tickled his face.
NNY tensed as her scent filled his nose, and then he saw himself walking amongst a forest of cherry blossom trees.
Their pink petals drifted in the wind like snow, and beneath it all was Jenny. She twirled and danced, not caring who saw, and she was no longer the quiet little mouse he had come to know.
She was breathtaking.
"I will never forget about tonight..." she whispered, nuzzling her cheek against his chest.
NNY couldn't move, and what was happening to him? His body drooped, and he had never felt so lightheaded.
Was he flying?
Finally, she pulled away, taking the warmth of her body with her.
NNY shivered. For the first time in months, he felt cold. Truly cold.
She slipped her key into her door, and NNY reached his hand out. "Wait..."
Jenny looked back. "What's wrong?"
His gaze fell on her rosebud lips, and he had no idea what was coming over him. He most likely had come down with something after all, but who cares...
He had to feel her warmth again. Even if his happiness was brief, he had to see that cherry blossom forest and the beautiful girl who danced amongst its petals.
He would surely regret this.
NNY gripped her shoulders next, helping himself to her lips before he got any ideas about killing her, and fireworks exploded inside him.
Her mouth was soft, and he had never tasted anything so sweet. The girl was just perfect in every way, and how had he not kissed her sooner?
Well, it looked as if he'd only gone and failed.
NNY would never be cold again after this.
A/N: Thanks for reading.
I often wonder how to capture a version of NNY in love. Jhonen seems to hate romance in his works, but here I am tainting his perfect homicidal maniac (oh no!)
But I can't help myself. I just love romance in all its formats. It's even a big part of my day job.
My brain just thinks in romantic terms.
Well, I hope you like my sugar-coated version of NNY. The song Colorblind by the Counting Crows inspired this chapter.
I think it suits NNY.
It's a sad song. About a person who is afraid to let anyone in.
