Chapter 13

We'll give them some pie!

A/N: Heyness, everyone! Hope you are enjoying your lives. Well, here we are, the 13th chapter! Read, review, and enjoy! I'd like to thank my reviewers! You keep me going! Oh, and please check out the official website for this thing: ! Sign the guestbook there, too, please…

     Severus was nervous. He was very, very nervous. He was so nervous his left foot was jiggling at hyper speed, which happens whenever he is very, very nervous. Why was he nervous, you ask? Well, he was about to get the letter back from his parents saying whether or not he could go on the trip. And he was nervous about what they were going to say.

     Suddenly, his owl Melancholy came soaring into the Slytherin Common Room (how she did this Severus will never know, and neither will I, nor you), and dropped a letter onto his lap.

     "What does it SAY, what does it SAY?!" shouted Esquire, jumping up and down.

     "Simmer down, Esquire!" shouted Bill, and shoved Esquire back into his chair.

     Severus smirked, rolled his eyes, opened the letter, and began to read aloud the letter from his parents:

     "Dear Severus,

     Your father and I are very disappointed in you. Wanting to spend Christmas with your little friends instead of spending it with your family! You have brought shame and dishonor to your family unit."

     "That's doesn't sound promising," said Dan nervously.

     "Can you go, you ask? Of course not!"

     "Oh, bugger," moaned Dave.

     "We can't believe you, Severus. You always had more sense than this!"

     "Maybe we could compromise," suggested Bill.

     "Don't even THINK about compromising, Severus, our minds are made up! You will be spending Christmas at home, and that is that!

Love,

Mum and Dad"

 Severus sighed, and threw the letter and envelope into the fire.

"Well, this stinks," said Dan heavily.

"It's not going to be any fun without you, Sev," said Bill.

"Wait, hold on, everyone!" shouted Esquire. "I have an idea!"

Everyone stared at him in shock.

"What?" asked Esquire bitterly.

"You have an IDEA?!" gasped Bob. "It's a miracle! Praise the Lord!"

"We can offer them some pie!" yelled Esquire.

Everyone groaned, except Severus.

"Actually, that might work," said Severus thoughtfully.

"You're losing it," declared Dan.

"No, really, it might," said Severus. "My parents love pie…whenever they get into a fight with one of their friends, the friends always bring over some pie and everything is resolved right away."

"Now I'm getting hungry," mumbled Dave.

"Let's get some pie!" yelled Esquire.

"In a minute," snapped Severus. "First we'll get cherry pie for my parents, then we'll get some for ourselves,"

"Wait, hold on a second. There's a little problem with Esquire's plan," said Bill.

"What's that?" asked Bob.

"Where are we going to get the pie?" asked Bill.

"I know the way," said Severus. "My older brothers always sneak food from the Hogwarts kitchen. I followed them once…I know the entrance to the kitchens and how to get in."

"Well, come on then, let's go!" shouted Dan, and they all ran out of the Common Room, following Severus.

*    *    *    *

"It's right here," said Severus, pointing to a painting of a bunch of fruit.

"Sev, that's just a painting of a bunch of fruit," said Esquire.

"It's not just that," said Severus. "It's the entrance to the kitchens, like the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room is a painting of fat lady."

"How do you know that?" asked Bill curiously.

"Remember those connections I have? They told me," said Severus. "Anyway, I tickle the pear and then it opens and we go in,"

"Oh," said Bill.

Severus tickled the pear. The pear giggled and the painting swung open to reveal hundreds of house-elves working to prepare dinner that night.

Esquire suddenly looked very angry. "Slaves! They are enslaved! This a violation of the Constitution!"

"The what?" asked Dan.

"Don't mind him," said Dave hastily. "He's obsessed with the American way,"

"You bet your cauldron I am!" shouted Esquire.

"I would never bet my cauldron on anything," said Severus frostily.

"It's just a figure of speech, Sev," said Bob.

"And I was just joking, Bob," said Severus. "Anyway, let's go in and get the pie,"

"I want cherry!" yelled Esquire.

"And my parents will want apple," said Severus. Then, he walked into the room and everyone else followed him, looking all around the place.

Severus tapped a house-elf on the shoulder. The house-elf turned around and squeaked, "Yes, sir, how may I help you, kind sir?"

"Good house-elf, we want one apple pie and one cherry pie," said Severus importantly.

"The fate of Hawaii depends on it," added Dan.

"And my stomach," Dave piped up.

"Right away, good sirs," squeaked the house-elf, and scurried off.

The house-elf came back with two pies-one cherry, one apple. They were on silver platters.

"Anything else you need, good sirs?" asked the elf.

 "No, thank you," said Severus. "We'll take these and be on our way. Thank you!"

"Not at all. It has been a pleasure serving you," said the house-elf humbly.

"Oh! Oh! Éclairs!" shouted Bill, pointing to a tray of éclairs.

"Oh, I want some!" yelled Severus. "I can't get them, though, I'm carrying the pies!"

"I'll get some for you," said Dave, and grabbed about an armful of them. He grabbed a bag from somewhere and stuffed them in there.

"We'll eat these later," said Dave. "Just give me my pie!"

"Here you go, relax," said Severus, and handed Dave the cherry pie. "And we're ALL going to eat the pie, it's not just for you."

"Whatever," said Dave, shoving a giant slice of pie into his mouth.

*    *    *    *

A couple of days later, after Severus had sent the apple pie as an offering of peace, Melancholy dropped a letter on Severus' lap in the Great Hall.

"Open it!" shouted the impatient Bob.

Sev opened the envelope, and began to read:

"Dearest Severus,

Thank you for the delicious pie. It was scrumptious! You may go to Hawaii. Be sure to send us a postcard!

                                                                      Love,

                                                           Mum and Dad"     "YES!" shouted Dan, jumping out of his seat, fist in the air.

"Hurray!" yelled Dave.

"Woo-hoo!" Bill piped up.

"Excellent!" screamed Bob.

"Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!" yelled Esquire, doing a tribal dance on the table, knocking all the food off of it.

Severus couldn't help but smile a really toothy grin.

A/N: Hmmm? You like? Review! Oh, and to Chimbo Baggins…yes, you may name your child after Esquire! Let us all hope he will be just as insane as Esquire himself!!! And yes, Dan is hot, but in my opinion, Bob is hotter! *drools*