Chapter 15
Surfin' U.S.A.
A/N: Ha ha…as you can tell from the title of this chapter, you can see that poor Sevvy is going to have to surf…but wait 'til you see all the other stupid stuff he's got to do (not that surfing is stupid)! But that's not in this chapter, though, so you'll just have to wait and see! Please review, and enjoy the show…I mean story. Oh, and by the way, I know hardly anything about surfing, so if I get some of the lingo wrong, my apologies. I only know what I see on Rocket Power.
"Please PLEASE tell me you're joking!" begged Severus, ready to get on his hands and knees and grovel if he had to. This was a rare event, Severus willing to grovel and beg. He hated to grovel and beg, you see. It was not in his nature. He had never had to grovel and beg for anything, really, except to beg his parents to stop fighting. They never listened to him anyway, though, and now I am drifting off-topic, so I'll stop my ramblings and just continue with the story.
Dan laughed. "No, I'm not. I'm taking all of Esquire's suggestions."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" cried Severus in agony, pounding a pillow. Why, WHY did things never go his way?!
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!" cheered Esquire, jumping up and down in obvious excitement. "We're going to pick coconuts?!"
"Yep!" said Dan happily.
"Yaaaaayy!" cheered Esquire again, beginning to dance in victory. "And surf?"
"Duh," said Bill, rolling his eyes. "He just said that!"
Dan ignored Bill and said, "Definitely."
"YAAAAYYY!" cheered Esquire for the third time, leaping about the room.
"I can't," said Severus, sitting up, finally stopping his pounding of the poor, defenseless pillow. *cries* Oh, WHY, Severus? Why did you have to destruct the pillow? Don't you KNOW it's going to come back for you in your fourth year…oops. Forget I said that.
"What? Pick coconuts?" Bill chuckled.
Severus glared at him. "No. I mean surf. I have no sense of balance. At all."
"You'll have to learn," said Bob solemnly, sounding like a priest.
"So will I!" shouted Esquire, who had stopped leaping. "I don't have any sense of balance either! We'll both have to learn!"
Severus was scared by the fact that he was like Esquire in any way, shape, or form. 'No, we won't," said Severus calmly, although he felt like screaming. "Because I'm not surfing."
Dan groaned. "Sev, you're making this too hard. We're all going to have to learn some stuff about surfing, except for me, because I already know how. Everyone here is going to have to learn something. Bill's going to have to learn to stand up on the board, Bob's going to have to…"Dan stopped and shook his head. "Anyway, loosen up and have fun, Sev. It'll be worth it, I promise."
Severus shook his head. "I shall not be moved!" he declared. He felt oddly like shaking his fist in the air, but he did not. "When will surfing come in use in life? NEVER! I don't learn anything unless I have to."
"Yes, you're going to have to," said Dave, who had been strangely silent up until then for some reason.
"Oh yeah? Who's going to make me?" said Severus smugly.
"Us."
"Wha…?" gasped Severus as they shoved him out the door. "NO! Unhand me this instant! Let me go! You'll pay for this! I'll sue you! I…"
But it was too late. He was already out the door.
* * *
"I won't do it, I won't do it, I WON'T DO IT!!!" yelled Severus. He had been forced to put on a pair of red swimming trunks by his so-called "friends" in the changing area, to take off his shirt, to tie his greasy black hair into a ponytail, and to rent one of those ridiculous surfboards.
"Yes you will," said Bob.
"Whether you want to or not!" said Bill.
And they pushed him into the ocean.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" screamed Severus as his buddies practically threw him into the ocean. He hung onto his surfboard for dear life, as it was only way of staying afloat.
"HEEELLLPPP!" yelled Severus. "I'm drowning!"
"Yeah, right," snorted Bill, who had gone in after him. "You big faker."
"I…" Severus started, but Bill dunked him to shut him up once and for all! Heh, just kidding. But Bill DID dunk Severus. Severus struggled, but Bill kept a firm grip on him. After 10 seconds, Bill let Sev come sputtering to the surface.
"You tried to drown me!" shouted Severus, pointing an accusing finger at Bill. "You…you…person-who-drowns-people!"
Bill gave a hollow laugh. "It's called 'dunking', Sev, and it's all in fun. Trust me, I didn't try to drown you."
"Well, it wasn't fun for me," grumbled Severus, putting his arms on his surfboard.
"Sit," commanded Bill.
"Huh?"
"Sit on your surfboard," explained Bill, demonstrating. He put his hands on the surfboard, pulled himself up, and sat on the surfboard with one leg on either side.
"Er…all right," said Severus, and attempted to sit on the surfboard. But he lost his balance at the last moment and fell in the water.
"Try again," said Bill, when Severus had swum to the surface.
And he did. He tried and tried but kept falling in the water. It was no use.
"It's no use," said Severus, spitting the salty water out of his mouth for the umpteenth time.
"You're just not trying," insisted Bill.
Finally, after 2 more times, Severus was able to sit on his surfboard. He breathed a sigh of relief. No more falling down!
"Yaaayy!" said Esquire, who had just come to join them.
"You finally did it," said Bill.
"That was good!" said Dan, paddling toward them. "As sure as I have a nose, that was good."
"It wasn't," said Severus. "But thanks anyway."
"Now for the actual surfing," said Dan, as Bob and Dave paddled toward them.
"Oh, no," Severus groaned. He thought he would just be learning how to sit today. Now he actually had to SURF?! Madness! MADNESS, I tell you!
"It's easy," Dan assured him. "Just find your balance, and stand up." He demonstrated.
Severus tried, but slip and fell.
"The board is too slippery," Sev complained, but sat on it again.
"Try again," said Bill.
"Okay, that's not going to get annoying," said Sev sarcastically, and tried to stand on the board again. This time, he stayed.
"Yay!" yelled esquire. Severus sat down on his board, feeling slightly proud in spite of himself.
"Now you all try," said Dan.
They did. Bob got up on his first try, Dave got up on his third, and Bill got up on his fifth. Esquire couldn't get on at all. Finally, so they could surf already, Dan helped Esquire stand on the board.
"OK," said Dan. "Here comes a nice swell!" He pointed to a wave coming.
Severus didn't even bother asking Dan what a swell was, and paddled toward the wave behind Dan and Bob.
"OK, everyone!" Dan called over his shoulder. "Just follow my lead, and you won't get hurt…well, most of you won't," Dan gave a look to Esquire, who beamed.
Dan stood up on the surfboard and started riding the wave. Bob followed suite. Severus took a deep breath, stood up, and started surfing; his stomach feeling like it was going to be left behind with the others.
He had made it about halfway through the wave before Severus messed up his footing when he was staring at the clear blue of the water, and fell.
"That's okay!" shouted Dan when Severus came back to the surface. "Just keep trying!"
Severus shook his head, and tried again. And again. And again. Finally, on his 12th round, Severus made the wave completely, for the first time.
"Yaaaaayyyy!" yelled Esquire, who had not even made 1/80th of a wave.
"Good job!" said Dan.
"Hurray!" shouted Bob.
"Peace!" screamed Dave.
"Woo-hoo!" shouted Bill
Severus grinned. He didn't want to admit it, but he was having fun.
"Hey, everyone, that's enough surfing for today!" said Dan. "Let's go back inside for refreshments, all right?"
Everyone cheered at this, and they all followed Dan back to the house.
A/N: How was that? Did you like it? REVIEW!
