Act II, Scene i
The Kents' back yard
The night was clear, and it was near midnight before the Kents' guests began to leave. Lex noticed Clark had disappeared, and he used the chill creeping into the air as a pretext to leave the yard, ostensibly to get his jacket from the car. With Chloe and Lana engrossed in conversation with Martha, he needn't have bothered; they paid him no mind.
He didn't head towards the car at all. 'Can I go forward when my heart is here?' he thought. 'Turn back, dull earth, and find thy centre out.' He walked towards the barn instead.
Lana chose that moment to point out the time, and suggested they should be leaving, if only they could find Lex.
"Lex!" she called out. "We should really be going!"
No response.
Chloe laughed. "He is wise, and, on my life, hath stol'n him home to bed."
"I hope not; he drove us here. Look, his car is still parked. I think he ran this way, and leap'd this orchard wall. You try calling for him, Chloe."
"Nay, I'll conjure, too!" Chloe announced. "Lex! Humours! Madman! Passion! Lover!"
"We only need Lex," Lana pointed out, but Chloe was on a roll and ignored her.
"Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh! Speak but one rhyme, and I am satisfied! Cry but 'Ah me!' Pronounce but 'Love' and 'dove'! Speak to my gossip Venus one fair word, one nickname for her purblind son and heir, young auburn Cupid, he that shot so trim when King Cophetua lov'd the beggar-maid!"
Still nothing.
"He heareth not, he stirreth not, he moveth not," observed Chloe. "The ape is dead, and I must conjure him - I conjure thee by Clark's bright eyes, by his high forehead and his scarlet lip, by his fine foot, straight leg, and quivering thigh, and the demesnes that there adjacent lie, that in thy likeness thou appear to us!"
Lana giggled. "'Quivering thigh'? Chloe, an if he hear thee, thou wilt anger him!"
Chloe waved off that concern. "This cannot anger him; 'twould anger him to raise a spirit in Clark's circle, of some strange nature, letting it there stand till he had laid it, and conjur'd it down; That were some spite: my invocation is fair and honest, and, in his beloved's name, I conjure only but to raise up him."
This was entertaining, but Lana was getting cold and impatient. "Come, he hath hid himself among these trees, to be consorted with the humorous night; Blind is his love, and best befits the dark."
"If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark," Chloe said sarcastically. "Now will he sit under a medlar tree, and wish his beloved were that kind of fruit as maids call medlars when they laugh alone. Lex, good night! I'll to my truckle-bed; this field-bed is too cold for me to sleep: Come, shall we go?"
Lana rolled her eyes. "Chloe, you keep forgetting: He's our ride! I think we should just wait for him inside."
Act II, Scene 1.5
Outside the Kents' barn
Lex didn't know how long he stared up at the loft window before Clark appeared. After a few minutes, or hours, a shadow appeared in the window.
'But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?' thought Lex. 'It is the east, and Clark is the sun! - Oh, no, it's just those Christmas lights of his.' Lex moved closer. 'He speaks, yet he says nothing; what of that? His eye discourses, I will answer it… I am too bold, 'tis not to me he speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat his eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if his eyes were there, they in his head? The brightness of his cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; his eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See how he leans his cheek upon his hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!'
"Ah me!" said Clark, gazing into the night.
'He speaks!' Lex thought to himself. 'O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air… Man I really have it bad. Where the hell do I come up with this stuff?'
Clark was, in fact, speaking again. "Oh, Lex, Lex! Why did you have to be a Luthor? Deny thy father and refuse thy name! Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Kent."
Lex thought this was probably his cue to step forward, but he hesitated. Clark went on: "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though, not a Luthor. What's Luthor? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; So Lex would, were he not Lex Luthor call'd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Lex, doff thy name; and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself!"
Yeah, that was his cue. Lex stepped into the light. "I take thee at thy word!" he called up. "Call me but love, and I'll be new baptiz'd; Henceforth I never will be a Luthor."
Clark jumped. "What man art thou that, thus bescreen'd in night, so stumblest on my counsel?"
Lex laughed almost drunkenly. "By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am; My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee. Had I it written, I would tear the word!"
"Lex, is that you out there?"
"No, it's Leonardo diCaprio. Of course it's me."
"What are you doing here? I thought everyone was leaving."
"I wanted to say goodnight alone," said Lex. "Your parents – "
"- Are going to kill us if they see you out here. Get out of here."
"Alack," said Lex, "there lies more peril in thine eye than in your father's shotgun. Look thou but sweet, and I am proof against his enmity."
"I would not for the world they saw thee here," protested Clark.
"I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight and, but thou love me, let them find me here. My life were better ended by their hate than death prorogued, wanting of thy love."
Clark rolled his eyes. "Don't be so melodramatic. Dad wouldn't actually shoot you. But thou knowest the mask of night is on my face; Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek for that which thou hast heard me speak to-night. Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny what I have spoke, but farewell compliment! Dost thou love me, I know thou wilt say Ay; And I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear'st, thou mayst prove false; At lovers' perjuries, they say Jove laughs. O gentle Lex; If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully. Or if thou thinkest I am too quickly won, I'll frown, and be perverse, and say thee nay, so thou wilt woo, but else, not for the world. In truth, fair Luthor, I am too fond, and therefore thou mayst think my 'haviour light. But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true than those that have more cunning to be strange. I should have been more strange, I must confess, but that thou overheard'st, ere I was 'ware, my true-love passion. Therefore pardon me, and not impute this yielding to light love, which the dark night hath so discovered."
"Clark, by yonder blessed moon I swear, that tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops –"
"O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon," said Clark, "That monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable."
"What shall I swear by?"
"Do not swear at all. Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee."
"If my heart's dear love – "
"Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee, I have no joy of this contract to-night; It is too rash, too unadvis'd, too sudden; Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be, ere one can say it lightens. Sweet, good night! This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet. Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest come to thy heart as that within my breast!"
"O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"
"What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?"
"Oh, er, well…" hedged Lex, "the exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine. Yeah, that's it."
Clark's grin was clearly visible in the faint light. "I gave thee mine before thou didst request it; And yet I would it were to give again."
Just then another voice drifted out of the barn. "Hey! Clark! Are you hiding out up here?" It was Pete.
Clark turned and shouted back, "Yeah, I'm up here!" Then said to Lex, "Hang on, I'll try to get rid of him," and vanished from the window.
'O blessed, blessed night! I am afeard,' Lex said to himself, 'Being in night, all this is but a dream, too flattering-sweet to be substantial.'
But a moment later Clark reappeared, sans Pete, and told him, "Pete says Chloe and Lana are looking for you. You'd better go. I'll call you tomorrow. A thousand times good night!"
"A thousand times the worse, to want thy light!" answered Lex. "Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their books; But love from love, towards school with heavy looks."
"You had to go and bring up school," Clark admonished him. "Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow."
Act II, Scene ii
Lionel Luthor's office in Metropolis
If you asked Lionel Luthor what he loved most in the world, he would probably have told you it was his son, Lex.
If you asked anyone else what Lionel loved most, they would have told you it was "power" or "money." Lex would probably not have been placed among the top ten.
But Lionel's true first love was chemistry. He loved unlocking the potential of natural substances. After all,
The earth, that's nature's mother, is her tomb;
What is her burying grave, that is her womb,
And from her womb children of divers kind
We sucking on her natural bosom find;
Many for many virtues excellent,
None but for some, and yet all different.
O, mickle is the powerful grace that lies
In plants, herbs, stones, and their true qualities;
For naught so vile that on the earth doth live,
But to the earth some special good doth give;
Nor aught so good but, strain'd from that fair use,
Revolts from true birth, stumbling on abuse,
Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied,
And vice sometimes by action dignified.
Within the infant rind of this small flower
Poison hath residence, and medicine power.
For this, being smelt, with that part cheers each part,
Being tasted, slays all senses with the heart.
Two such opposed kings encamp them still
In man as well as herbs, grace and rude will,
And where the worser is predominant,
Full soon the canker death eats up that plant.
And of course, that went for meteor rocks as well as for flowers. Which is what Lionel was reading about when Lex entered his office. He closed the document quickly; he was sure Lex knew he was interested in the rocks, and in their effect on a certain local farm boy, but it would never do to have Lex knowing exactly how far the research had progressed.
"Good morrow, father!" Lex was uncharacteristically chipper this morning, especially this early, and with no coffee in sight.
"Benedicite!" Lionel greeted him. "What early tongue so sweet saluteth me? Young son, it argues a distemper'd head, so soon to bid good morrow to thy bed! Care keeps his watch in every old man's eye, and where care lodges sleep will never lie; but where unbruised youth, with unstuff'd brain, doth couch his limbs there golden sleep doth reign. Therefore thy earliness doth me assure, thou art uprous'd with some distemperature. Or if not so, then here I hit it right: Our Romeo hath not been in bed to-night!"
"Whose brain are you calling 'unstuffed'?" joked Lex. "And 'Romeo'? Well, I guess that fits, at this point. That last is true; the sweeter rest was mine."
"God pardon sin! Wast thou with Rosaline?" Lionel exclaimed with playful sanctimony.
"Who?"
Damn. So Rosaline had failed in her assignment to seduce Lex. "Never mind, son. So where hast thou been?"
"I'll tell thee ere thou ask it me again. I have been feasting with thine enemy, where, on a sudden, one hath wounded me, that's by me wounded."
"Oh, for god's sake. Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift; Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift."
Lex snorted. "Shrift? As if I'd come to you for that. Every time I see you there's a spat."
"All right, so what are you doing here? You seem awfully smug."
Lex grinned. "My pleasant mood has naught to do with you; its cause is that I'm seeing someone new."
"And what's with the rhyming? Is she a songwriter you're trying to impress?"
"He. And no."
"Holy Saint Francis! What a change is here! Is womankind, that thou didst love so dear, so soon forsaken? Young men's love, then, lies not truly in their hearts, but in their –"
"Oh, cut it out, dad. You had to know I've never restricted myself to the 'gentler' sex, even before both of my wives tried to murder me. And Clark - " Lionel automatically sat up straighter before he could hide his reaction. Lex noticed. "What? You have a problem with Clark?" Lionel opened his mouth to deny that charge, but Lex already had a rationalization ready. "It's not because of the problems you and Jonathon have had? That was fourteen years ago, dad."
Well. Better that Lex think that than discover Lionel's real interest in Clark. "You're right, son. And it's not my business anyway. I'm just glad you're happy."
"Yeah… I knew you would be."
Act II, Scene iii
The Talon
Chloe arrived at the Talon later than usual for her caffeine fix. It had been a late night at the Kents'. Lex had finally turned up, had driven them home to Chloe's house without comment, and then disappeared into the night.
So Chloe accosted Lana first thing. "Has Lex been in yet? I want to interrogate him. I was too tired last night."
"No," said Lana. "In fact, I tried to call him at home earlier, but the staff says he never came home. I hope nothing happened. He does drive awfully fast."
Chloe scoffed at that. "Not likely! That same pale-hearted Clark torments him so that he will sure run mad."
"Oh, no, I hadn't thought of that! I hope he didn't go back there. Mr. Kent would kill Lex if he knew – "
"Alas, poor Lex, he is already dead! Run through the ear with a love song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt-shaft – "
"Uh… butt-shaft?"
"Arrow, Lana. Cupid. Arrow. Honestly. Get your mind out of the gutter."
Lana shushed her. "Here he comes now!"
"Signor Lex, bon jour!" called Chloe. "Rumor has it that you never made it home last night, and we – "
"- were worried about you," finished Lana, with a stern look at Chloe.
Lex just smiled. "Pardon, good ladies, my business was great, and in such a case as mine, a man may strain courtesy."
Chloe settled onto a bar stool. "That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams."
"Meaning, to curtsy?" guessed Lex.
"Thou hast most kindly hit it," Chloe said approvingly.
"A most courteous exposition," Lex acknowledged with a mock bow.
"Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy!"
"Pink for the flower."
"Right."
"Well," said Lex, "Then is my pump well-flowered."
"Well said!" laughed Chloe. "Follow me in this jest now till thou hast worn out thy pump, that, when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing, sole singular."
Lana looked blankly at Chloe. "What?"
"O single-soled jest," said Lex, "soley singular for the singleness!"
"What?" said Lana.
Chloe patted Lana on the shoulder. "Come between us, good Lana; my wits faint."
Lex wasn't ready to give yet, though. "Swits and spurs, swits and spurs, or I'll cry a match."
"Nay," said Chloe. "If thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I have done, for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?"
"Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose."
"I will bite thee by the ear for that jest!" Chloe threatened.
"Nay, good goose, bite not."
"Seriously, you guys …" Lana began.
Chloe feigned injury. "Thy wit is very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce!" she said to Lex.
"And is it not, then, well served in to a sweet goose?"
"O, here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell abroad!"
"I stretch it out for that word broad," said Lex, "which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose."
Chloe grinned at him. "Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable; now art thou Lex Luthor! Now art thou what thou art, by Art as well as by Nature; for this driveling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole!"
"All right, enough!" exclaimed Lana. "This is a family establishment! Do I have to throw you two out? That would look pretty bad, with Lex being part-owner, you know."
Chloe and Lex were preparing to ignore her, but at that moment Pete wandered in and approached them. Lana greeted him. "Hey, Pete. Coffee?"
"No, thanks, I was just looking for Lex. Lex, I desire some private confidence with you." Lex raised his eyebrows at Chloe and Lana, who commenced snickering as Lex and Pete moved off to an empty table.
"Pray you, sir, a word," Pete began when they were slightly out of earshot. "Clark bid me enquire you out. What he bade me say I will keep to myself; but first, let me tell ye, if ye should lead him into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say, for the gentleman is young, and, therefore, if you should deal double with him, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentleman, and very weak dealing."
"Listen, Pete," Lex explained, "If my dear love were but the child of state, it might by Fortune's bastard be unfather'd, as subject to Time's love or to Time's hate, weeds among weeds, or flowers with flowers gather'd. No, it was builded far from accident; it suffers not in smiling pomp nor falls under the blow of thrilled discontent, where to the inviting time our fashion calls. It fears not policy, that heretic, which works on leases of short number'd hours, but all alone stands hugely politic, that it nor grows with heat nor drowns with showers. To this I witness all the fools of time, which die for goodness, who have liv'd for crime."
"Dude… you do know iambs are supposed to have the emphasis on the second syllable, right?"
"Humour me."
"All right, then," said Pete, with resignation. "He doesn't want you to come by the farm, and doesn't want his parents to hear him calling you on the phone. He wants to know if he can come by the mansion tonight."
Lex studied Pete for a moment before replying, "Tell him to come at seven."
Act II, Scene iv
Clark's bedroom.
Clark had been waiting three hours for Pete to call him with any message from Lex. Not wanting to be seen lurking downstairs by the phone, he was in his room pretending to read comics.
Finally the phone rang. Even without using super-speed (which was an effort), Clark was halfway down the stairs before his father called up, "Clark! It's Pete on the phone!"
"Thanks," he answered, forcing himself to look calm as he casually seized the phone from his father and inconspicuously huddled in the corner with it, cupping the mouth piece.
Jonathon looked at his son quizzically, shrugged, and left the room.
"Did you find him?" Clark hissed into the phone.
"Yeah," said Pete, not volunteering anything.
"Well? What did he say?"
"Clark, this is a really bad idea."
Clark was hurt. "He said it was a bad idea."
"No, moron, I'm saying it's a bad idea."
"You don't understand," Clark protested.
"Yeah, no shit I don't understand."
"Pete, will you just please tell me what he said?"
Pete sighed loudly. "He said to come over at seven tonight."
Relief washed over Clark for about three seconds. Then he was more anxious than he had been before. Still, he was grinning ear-to-ear. "Thanks, Pete. I know you didn't want to do that. But … I need you to be my alibi, too."
"What?? No, way, Clark, uh-uh. I'm done with this."
"Come on, it won't be any trouble. I'm sure they won't even ask. I'll tell them I'm staying at your place tonight for a 'Mad Max' movie marathon."
"This is ridiculous, Clark."
"No it's not – the fourth movie is coming out in a year. It's called 'Fury Road,' and -"
"I mean this whole thing is ridiculous! All this lying and sneaking around – it's not like you."
"Um ... yes it is. Where have you been?"
That got a sardonic laugh out of Pete. "All right. I'll cover for you tonight, but this is the last time. I just don't wanna be in the middle of this, okay?"
"I got it, Pete. Thanks."
Act II, Scene v
The Mansion, Lex's office.
Lex might or might not have been agitated with anticipation of Clark's arrival; he was too busy being agitated by a conversation with his father to be able to tell. After ten long, falsely polite minutes, he decided to end the conversation. "I do have to go, dad. I have company coming over soon." And hopefully he'd have time to get some drinking in first, or he might be in danger of taking his frustrations with Lionel out on Clark.
"Company, hmm, son? You mean Clark, I suspect."
"Yes, I do. And he'll be here shortly, so – "
"You know, Lex, these violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness, and in the taste confounds the appetite. Therefore, love moderately; long love doth so. Too swift arrives as tardy as to slow."
"Of course, dad."
Lex sensed a presence in the doorway, and turned in his chair to see Clark hovering there, hands in his pockets.
"I really do have to go now, dad." Lex hung up the phone without waiting for a response.
"Sorry I'm early," said Clark.
Act II, Scene 5.5
The Mansion, Lex's bedroom
Steamy gay sex ensues.
Oh, use your imagination, for crying out loud. You don't need me for this.
END ACT II.
The Kents' back yard
The night was clear, and it was near midnight before the Kents' guests began to leave. Lex noticed Clark had disappeared, and he used the chill creeping into the air as a pretext to leave the yard, ostensibly to get his jacket from the car. With Chloe and Lana engrossed in conversation with Martha, he needn't have bothered; they paid him no mind.
He didn't head towards the car at all. 'Can I go forward when my heart is here?' he thought. 'Turn back, dull earth, and find thy centre out.' He walked towards the barn instead.
Lana chose that moment to point out the time, and suggested they should be leaving, if only they could find Lex.
"Lex!" she called out. "We should really be going!"
No response.
Chloe laughed. "He is wise, and, on my life, hath stol'n him home to bed."
"I hope not; he drove us here. Look, his car is still parked. I think he ran this way, and leap'd this orchard wall. You try calling for him, Chloe."
"Nay, I'll conjure, too!" Chloe announced. "Lex! Humours! Madman! Passion! Lover!"
"We only need Lex," Lana pointed out, but Chloe was on a roll and ignored her.
"Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh! Speak but one rhyme, and I am satisfied! Cry but 'Ah me!' Pronounce but 'Love' and 'dove'! Speak to my gossip Venus one fair word, one nickname for her purblind son and heir, young auburn Cupid, he that shot so trim when King Cophetua lov'd the beggar-maid!"
Still nothing.
"He heareth not, he stirreth not, he moveth not," observed Chloe. "The ape is dead, and I must conjure him - I conjure thee by Clark's bright eyes, by his high forehead and his scarlet lip, by his fine foot, straight leg, and quivering thigh, and the demesnes that there adjacent lie, that in thy likeness thou appear to us!"
Lana giggled. "'Quivering thigh'? Chloe, an if he hear thee, thou wilt anger him!"
Chloe waved off that concern. "This cannot anger him; 'twould anger him to raise a spirit in Clark's circle, of some strange nature, letting it there stand till he had laid it, and conjur'd it down; That were some spite: my invocation is fair and honest, and, in his beloved's name, I conjure only but to raise up him."
This was entertaining, but Lana was getting cold and impatient. "Come, he hath hid himself among these trees, to be consorted with the humorous night; Blind is his love, and best befits the dark."
"If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark," Chloe said sarcastically. "Now will he sit under a medlar tree, and wish his beloved were that kind of fruit as maids call medlars when they laugh alone. Lex, good night! I'll to my truckle-bed; this field-bed is too cold for me to sleep: Come, shall we go?"
Lana rolled her eyes. "Chloe, you keep forgetting: He's our ride! I think we should just wait for him inside."
Act II, Scene 1.5
Outside the Kents' barn
Lex didn't know how long he stared up at the loft window before Clark appeared. After a few minutes, or hours, a shadow appeared in the window.
'But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?' thought Lex. 'It is the east, and Clark is the sun! - Oh, no, it's just those Christmas lights of his.' Lex moved closer. 'He speaks, yet he says nothing; what of that? His eye discourses, I will answer it… I am too bold, 'tis not to me he speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat his eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if his eyes were there, they in his head? The brightness of his cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; his eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See how he leans his cheek upon his hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!'
"Ah me!" said Clark, gazing into the night.
'He speaks!' Lex thought to himself. 'O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air… Man I really have it bad. Where the hell do I come up with this stuff?'
Clark was, in fact, speaking again. "Oh, Lex, Lex! Why did you have to be a Luthor? Deny thy father and refuse thy name! Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Kent."
Lex thought this was probably his cue to step forward, but he hesitated. Clark went on: "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though, not a Luthor. What's Luthor? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; So Lex would, were he not Lex Luthor call'd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Lex, doff thy name; and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself!"
Yeah, that was his cue. Lex stepped into the light. "I take thee at thy word!" he called up. "Call me but love, and I'll be new baptiz'd; Henceforth I never will be a Luthor."
Clark jumped. "What man art thou that, thus bescreen'd in night, so stumblest on my counsel?"
Lex laughed almost drunkenly. "By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am; My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee. Had I it written, I would tear the word!"
"Lex, is that you out there?"
"No, it's Leonardo diCaprio. Of course it's me."
"What are you doing here? I thought everyone was leaving."
"I wanted to say goodnight alone," said Lex. "Your parents – "
"- Are going to kill us if they see you out here. Get out of here."
"Alack," said Lex, "there lies more peril in thine eye than in your father's shotgun. Look thou but sweet, and I am proof against his enmity."
"I would not for the world they saw thee here," protested Clark.
"I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight and, but thou love me, let them find me here. My life were better ended by their hate than death prorogued, wanting of thy love."
Clark rolled his eyes. "Don't be so melodramatic. Dad wouldn't actually shoot you. But thou knowest the mask of night is on my face; Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek for that which thou hast heard me speak to-night. Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny what I have spoke, but farewell compliment! Dost thou love me, I know thou wilt say Ay; And I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear'st, thou mayst prove false; At lovers' perjuries, they say Jove laughs. O gentle Lex; If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully. Or if thou thinkest I am too quickly won, I'll frown, and be perverse, and say thee nay, so thou wilt woo, but else, not for the world. In truth, fair Luthor, I am too fond, and therefore thou mayst think my 'haviour light. But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true than those that have more cunning to be strange. I should have been more strange, I must confess, but that thou overheard'st, ere I was 'ware, my true-love passion. Therefore pardon me, and not impute this yielding to light love, which the dark night hath so discovered."
"Clark, by yonder blessed moon I swear, that tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops –"
"O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon," said Clark, "That monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable."
"What shall I swear by?"
"Do not swear at all. Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee."
"If my heart's dear love – "
"Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee, I have no joy of this contract to-night; It is too rash, too unadvis'd, too sudden; Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be, ere one can say it lightens. Sweet, good night! This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet. Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest come to thy heart as that within my breast!"
"O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"
"What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?"
"Oh, er, well…" hedged Lex, "the exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine. Yeah, that's it."
Clark's grin was clearly visible in the faint light. "I gave thee mine before thou didst request it; And yet I would it were to give again."
Just then another voice drifted out of the barn. "Hey! Clark! Are you hiding out up here?" It was Pete.
Clark turned and shouted back, "Yeah, I'm up here!" Then said to Lex, "Hang on, I'll try to get rid of him," and vanished from the window.
'O blessed, blessed night! I am afeard,' Lex said to himself, 'Being in night, all this is but a dream, too flattering-sweet to be substantial.'
But a moment later Clark reappeared, sans Pete, and told him, "Pete says Chloe and Lana are looking for you. You'd better go. I'll call you tomorrow. A thousand times good night!"
"A thousand times the worse, to want thy light!" answered Lex. "Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their books; But love from love, towards school with heavy looks."
"You had to go and bring up school," Clark admonished him. "Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow."
Act II, Scene ii
Lionel Luthor's office in Metropolis
If you asked Lionel Luthor what he loved most in the world, he would probably have told you it was his son, Lex.
If you asked anyone else what Lionel loved most, they would have told you it was "power" or "money." Lex would probably not have been placed among the top ten.
But Lionel's true first love was chemistry. He loved unlocking the potential of natural substances. After all,
The earth, that's nature's mother, is her tomb;
What is her burying grave, that is her womb,
And from her womb children of divers kind
We sucking on her natural bosom find;
Many for many virtues excellent,
None but for some, and yet all different.
O, mickle is the powerful grace that lies
In plants, herbs, stones, and their true qualities;
For naught so vile that on the earth doth live,
But to the earth some special good doth give;
Nor aught so good but, strain'd from that fair use,
Revolts from true birth, stumbling on abuse,
Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied,
And vice sometimes by action dignified.
Within the infant rind of this small flower
Poison hath residence, and medicine power.
For this, being smelt, with that part cheers each part,
Being tasted, slays all senses with the heart.
Two such opposed kings encamp them still
In man as well as herbs, grace and rude will,
And where the worser is predominant,
Full soon the canker death eats up that plant.
And of course, that went for meteor rocks as well as for flowers. Which is what Lionel was reading about when Lex entered his office. He closed the document quickly; he was sure Lex knew he was interested in the rocks, and in their effect on a certain local farm boy, but it would never do to have Lex knowing exactly how far the research had progressed.
"Good morrow, father!" Lex was uncharacteristically chipper this morning, especially this early, and with no coffee in sight.
"Benedicite!" Lionel greeted him. "What early tongue so sweet saluteth me? Young son, it argues a distemper'd head, so soon to bid good morrow to thy bed! Care keeps his watch in every old man's eye, and where care lodges sleep will never lie; but where unbruised youth, with unstuff'd brain, doth couch his limbs there golden sleep doth reign. Therefore thy earliness doth me assure, thou art uprous'd with some distemperature. Or if not so, then here I hit it right: Our Romeo hath not been in bed to-night!"
"Whose brain are you calling 'unstuffed'?" joked Lex. "And 'Romeo'? Well, I guess that fits, at this point. That last is true; the sweeter rest was mine."
"God pardon sin! Wast thou with Rosaline?" Lionel exclaimed with playful sanctimony.
"Who?"
Damn. So Rosaline had failed in her assignment to seduce Lex. "Never mind, son. So where hast thou been?"
"I'll tell thee ere thou ask it me again. I have been feasting with thine enemy, where, on a sudden, one hath wounded me, that's by me wounded."
"Oh, for god's sake. Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift; Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift."
Lex snorted. "Shrift? As if I'd come to you for that. Every time I see you there's a spat."
"All right, so what are you doing here? You seem awfully smug."
Lex grinned. "My pleasant mood has naught to do with you; its cause is that I'm seeing someone new."
"And what's with the rhyming? Is she a songwriter you're trying to impress?"
"He. And no."
"Holy Saint Francis! What a change is here! Is womankind, that thou didst love so dear, so soon forsaken? Young men's love, then, lies not truly in their hearts, but in their –"
"Oh, cut it out, dad. You had to know I've never restricted myself to the 'gentler' sex, even before both of my wives tried to murder me. And Clark - " Lionel automatically sat up straighter before he could hide his reaction. Lex noticed. "What? You have a problem with Clark?" Lionel opened his mouth to deny that charge, but Lex already had a rationalization ready. "It's not because of the problems you and Jonathon have had? That was fourteen years ago, dad."
Well. Better that Lex think that than discover Lionel's real interest in Clark. "You're right, son. And it's not my business anyway. I'm just glad you're happy."
"Yeah… I knew you would be."
Act II, Scene iii
The Talon
Chloe arrived at the Talon later than usual for her caffeine fix. It had been a late night at the Kents'. Lex had finally turned up, had driven them home to Chloe's house without comment, and then disappeared into the night.
So Chloe accosted Lana first thing. "Has Lex been in yet? I want to interrogate him. I was too tired last night."
"No," said Lana. "In fact, I tried to call him at home earlier, but the staff says he never came home. I hope nothing happened. He does drive awfully fast."
Chloe scoffed at that. "Not likely! That same pale-hearted Clark torments him so that he will sure run mad."
"Oh, no, I hadn't thought of that! I hope he didn't go back there. Mr. Kent would kill Lex if he knew – "
"Alas, poor Lex, he is already dead! Run through the ear with a love song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt-shaft – "
"Uh… butt-shaft?"
"Arrow, Lana. Cupid. Arrow. Honestly. Get your mind out of the gutter."
Lana shushed her. "Here he comes now!"
"Signor Lex, bon jour!" called Chloe. "Rumor has it that you never made it home last night, and we – "
"- were worried about you," finished Lana, with a stern look at Chloe.
Lex just smiled. "Pardon, good ladies, my business was great, and in such a case as mine, a man may strain courtesy."
Chloe settled onto a bar stool. "That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams."
"Meaning, to curtsy?" guessed Lex.
"Thou hast most kindly hit it," Chloe said approvingly.
"A most courteous exposition," Lex acknowledged with a mock bow.
"Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy!"
"Pink for the flower."
"Right."
"Well," said Lex, "Then is my pump well-flowered."
"Well said!" laughed Chloe. "Follow me in this jest now till thou hast worn out thy pump, that, when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing, sole singular."
Lana looked blankly at Chloe. "What?"
"O single-soled jest," said Lex, "soley singular for the singleness!"
"What?" said Lana.
Chloe patted Lana on the shoulder. "Come between us, good Lana; my wits faint."
Lex wasn't ready to give yet, though. "Swits and spurs, swits and spurs, or I'll cry a match."
"Nay," said Chloe. "If thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I have done, for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?"
"Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose."
"I will bite thee by the ear for that jest!" Chloe threatened.
"Nay, good goose, bite not."
"Seriously, you guys …" Lana began.
Chloe feigned injury. "Thy wit is very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce!" she said to Lex.
"And is it not, then, well served in to a sweet goose?"
"O, here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell abroad!"
"I stretch it out for that word broad," said Lex, "which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose."
Chloe grinned at him. "Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable; now art thou Lex Luthor! Now art thou what thou art, by Art as well as by Nature; for this driveling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole!"
"All right, enough!" exclaimed Lana. "This is a family establishment! Do I have to throw you two out? That would look pretty bad, with Lex being part-owner, you know."
Chloe and Lex were preparing to ignore her, but at that moment Pete wandered in and approached them. Lana greeted him. "Hey, Pete. Coffee?"
"No, thanks, I was just looking for Lex. Lex, I desire some private confidence with you." Lex raised his eyebrows at Chloe and Lana, who commenced snickering as Lex and Pete moved off to an empty table.
"Pray you, sir, a word," Pete began when they were slightly out of earshot. "Clark bid me enquire you out. What he bade me say I will keep to myself; but first, let me tell ye, if ye should lead him into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say, for the gentleman is young, and, therefore, if you should deal double with him, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentleman, and very weak dealing."
"Listen, Pete," Lex explained, "If my dear love were but the child of state, it might by Fortune's bastard be unfather'd, as subject to Time's love or to Time's hate, weeds among weeds, or flowers with flowers gather'd. No, it was builded far from accident; it suffers not in smiling pomp nor falls under the blow of thrilled discontent, where to the inviting time our fashion calls. It fears not policy, that heretic, which works on leases of short number'd hours, but all alone stands hugely politic, that it nor grows with heat nor drowns with showers. To this I witness all the fools of time, which die for goodness, who have liv'd for crime."
"Dude… you do know iambs are supposed to have the emphasis on the second syllable, right?"
"Humour me."
"All right, then," said Pete, with resignation. "He doesn't want you to come by the farm, and doesn't want his parents to hear him calling you on the phone. He wants to know if he can come by the mansion tonight."
Lex studied Pete for a moment before replying, "Tell him to come at seven."
Act II, Scene iv
Clark's bedroom.
Clark had been waiting three hours for Pete to call him with any message from Lex. Not wanting to be seen lurking downstairs by the phone, he was in his room pretending to read comics.
Finally the phone rang. Even without using super-speed (which was an effort), Clark was halfway down the stairs before his father called up, "Clark! It's Pete on the phone!"
"Thanks," he answered, forcing himself to look calm as he casually seized the phone from his father and inconspicuously huddled in the corner with it, cupping the mouth piece.
Jonathon looked at his son quizzically, shrugged, and left the room.
"Did you find him?" Clark hissed into the phone.
"Yeah," said Pete, not volunteering anything.
"Well? What did he say?"
"Clark, this is a really bad idea."
Clark was hurt. "He said it was a bad idea."
"No, moron, I'm saying it's a bad idea."
"You don't understand," Clark protested.
"Yeah, no shit I don't understand."
"Pete, will you just please tell me what he said?"
Pete sighed loudly. "He said to come over at seven tonight."
Relief washed over Clark for about three seconds. Then he was more anxious than he had been before. Still, he was grinning ear-to-ear. "Thanks, Pete. I know you didn't want to do that. But … I need you to be my alibi, too."
"What?? No, way, Clark, uh-uh. I'm done with this."
"Come on, it won't be any trouble. I'm sure they won't even ask. I'll tell them I'm staying at your place tonight for a 'Mad Max' movie marathon."
"This is ridiculous, Clark."
"No it's not – the fourth movie is coming out in a year. It's called 'Fury Road,' and -"
"I mean this whole thing is ridiculous! All this lying and sneaking around – it's not like you."
"Um ... yes it is. Where have you been?"
That got a sardonic laugh out of Pete. "All right. I'll cover for you tonight, but this is the last time. I just don't wanna be in the middle of this, okay?"
"I got it, Pete. Thanks."
Act II, Scene v
The Mansion, Lex's office.
Lex might or might not have been agitated with anticipation of Clark's arrival; he was too busy being agitated by a conversation with his father to be able to tell. After ten long, falsely polite minutes, he decided to end the conversation. "I do have to go, dad. I have company coming over soon." And hopefully he'd have time to get some drinking in first, or he might be in danger of taking his frustrations with Lionel out on Clark.
"Company, hmm, son? You mean Clark, I suspect."
"Yes, I do. And he'll be here shortly, so – "
"You know, Lex, these violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness, and in the taste confounds the appetite. Therefore, love moderately; long love doth so. Too swift arrives as tardy as to slow."
"Of course, dad."
Lex sensed a presence in the doorway, and turned in his chair to see Clark hovering there, hands in his pockets.
"I really do have to go now, dad." Lex hung up the phone without waiting for a response.
"Sorry I'm early," said Clark.
Act II, Scene 5.5
The Mansion, Lex's bedroom
Steamy gay sex ensues.
Oh, use your imagination, for crying out loud. You don't need me for this.
END ACT II.
