The sign in front of the First Church of Springfield chapel read, Saturday: Funeral of Charles Montgomery Burns. Sunday: Sermon on the Parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus. Inside, Reverend Lovejoy was presiding over the funeral of Mr. Burns. Smithers was present as the executor of Burns' estate, and most of the others in attendance were greedy relatives of Burns. Kent Brockman was reporting on the funeral for Channel 6 News.

"The moment all of Springfield has been waiting for is now upon us," announced Brockman, "as Waylon Smithers reads Mr. Burns' instructions for the distribution of his estate."

The solemn-faced Smithers began to read from Burns' will. "My monetary assets I bequeath to all of my living relatives, in equal portions."

"Eeeexcellent," said Burns' relatives, drumming their fingers.

"My power plant and all buildings appertaining thereunto," Smithers continued, "I bequeath to the man who has served me faithfully for decades, the man who, among all the masses of wretched humanity, is most qualified to operate it...no, scratch that, I'll split it among my living relatives as well."

"Eeeexcellent," said Burns' relatives, drumming their fingers.

Smithers lowered the will and grimaced with anger. "Why, that rotten son of a... He disinherited me!" He then tore up the parchment and stormed out of view of the TV cameras.

"It appears there's been a surprise development in the execution of Burns' will," said Brockman. "I'll be back with more details, after this cartoon."

In the Simpson living room, Homer, Bart, and Lisa were watching the coverage as an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon interrupted it. "Cool! Itchy & Scratchy!" exclaimed Lisa.

The episode title: Radiation Burns. Scratchy sits at a desk in a palacial office, counting a pile of gold coins; through the picture window, a pair of nuclear towers are visible. When he sees Itchy standing in front of his desk, he grumbles and pushes a button on his console. A trap door opens, but it is two feet away from Itchy. Then the mouse pulls a box of chocolates from behind his back and hands it to the greedy Scratchy. The cat pops a few chocolates into his mouth, chews on them, and suddenly feels strange. Splitting open one of the remaining chocolates, he finds that it is filled with glowing plutonium. He begins to mutate grotesquely, as extra arms, legs, eyes, and ears sprout from every inch of his body...

Bart and Lisa laughed uproariously at the animated antics. "That was so funny, I forgot I was a girl," said Bart.

"You're a girl," Lisa reminded him.

"D'oh!" grunted Bart.

Kent Brockman reappeared on the TV screen, speaking with the still-outraged Smithers. "I'm here talking to Waylon Smithers, former chief administrator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, about his dissatisfaction over Mr. Burns' will."

"If you don't mind, Kent," said Smithers, "I'd like to change the subject."

"Go ahead, but make it quick," said Brockman.

"I have a confession to make," Smithers began. "Homer Simpson was not at fault in the accident that caused Mr. Burns' death."

Homer, Bart, and Lisa stared at the screen in astonishment.

"Mr. Burns' ultimately fatal heart attack began seconds before the accident," Smithers continued. "I was distracted while trying to help him. Homer Simpson is innocent, and I will see to it that the damages charged to him are cancelled."

"Marge, get in here!" Homer called out.

"This is wonderful!" Lisa enthused. "Do you know what this means, Lisa?"

Bart nodded. "It means the money from Frink's experiment will make us rich! Rich beyond our wildest dreams! I'm so happy, I won't slug you for calling me Lisa!"

"Is it true?" asked Marge as she hurried into the room. "Is it really true?"

"It's true!" Homer shouted for the world to hear. "The Simpsons are going to be rich!"

"Rich! Rich! Rich!" they all chanted as they danced around the room. Even Snowball II and Santa's Little Helper joined in the exuberant celebration. After a few minutes, everyone fell down from exhaustion and started to breathe heavily.

"You're a girl," Lisa said to Bart.

"D'oh!"

After the funeral, Reverend Lovejoy returned to his house, hung up his robes, and changed into shorts and a T-shirt. His wife Helen and daughter Jessica gathered around him. "Your tribute to Mr. Burns was so moving and heartfelt," said Mrs. Lovejoy.

"I didn't believe a word of what I said," the reverend admitted. "I'm glad that ogre's gone, and I expect Springfield will become a much happier place because of it."

Unbeknownst to them, Lisa stood on the welcome mat outside, deliberating her next move. I can't believe I'm doing this, she thought. But I'm the first girl ever to experience being a boy, and I've got to take advantage of that.

The doorbell rang. Mrs. Lovejoy answered it, and Lisa-in-Bart walked through the door. Reverend Lovejoy sighed. "I spoke a little too soon."

"Good afternoon, Reverend," Lisa greeted the clergyman.

"Hello, Bart," said the reverend. "When did you start addressing me with more than one syllable?"

"I'd like to talk to Jessica," Lisa requested politely.

"And what if Jessica doesn't want to talk to you?" said the girl petulantly.

Lisa looked at her seriously. "I'm sorry for ruining your reputation as the reverend's perfect daughter."

Jessica was astonished at her words. "You're...sorry? Really? Do you mean it?"

"I mean it," said Lisa.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Bart Simpson?" asked Jessica incredulously.

"I'm Lisa Simpson," Lisa replied with a straight face, "and I've temporarily traded bodies with him."

"Odd as it may seem, I believe you."

Lisa gestured toward Jessica's room. "Can we talk in private?"

"Uh, sure," said Jessica, and she retired to her room with the boy.

Lisa started to speak hesitantly. "Jessica, I think you're a fantastic girl, and...well, the fact that our relationship didn't work out was more than half my fault."

"Your fault?" Jessica couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I framed you for stealing the collection money!"

"Yeah," Lisa acknowledged, "but I took it more personally than I should have."

"If you have a point, make it," said Jessica with impatience.

After gathering her courage and making a few funny faces, Lisa-in-Bart leaned over and kissed Jessica tenderly on the lips.

The surprised girl backed away a few inches. "Good point," she said.

TBC