When Marge walked into Lisa's room, she found the girl in front of her mirror, sizing up a pair of old blue slacks with matching blouse. "Where did you get those clothes?" she inquired.

"Wanda loaned them to me," Bart-in-Lisa answered.

"They look terrible," Marge complained.

"I know, Mom," said Bart darkly, "but I'm tired of wearing dresses."

"You look pretty in dresses," Marge insisted.

"I don't want to look pretty," said Bart. "I just want to get through the next twenty-four days and go back to being a boy."

"You're missing out," said Marge with a slight grin. "Dressing up is one of the best parts of being a girl."

Bart sighed and tossed the borrowed clothes onto Lisa's bed.

"Okay," said Marge with a tone of defeat. "If you're really uncomfortable wearing a dress, I'll take you shopping for some nice pants. But you're not wearing those old grubbies, and you're not wearing boy clothes."

"Fine," said Bart.

Without further ado, Marge whisked him away to the shopping mall. As they wandered among the various shops, Bart gazed at the lavish displays of merchandise. "This place is causing a strange feeling to come over me", he reflected.

"There's nothing strange about it," said Marge. "All little girls love to shop."

"Then this feeling is my enemy," Bart declared.

They passed by a Toys-R-Us store, where Bart-in-Lisa was overwhelmed by a powerful sensation at the sight of a doll exhibit. "Mom, look!" he blurted out. "It's the new U.N. Delegate Malibu Stacy!"

"So it is," Marge acknowledged.

"Will you buy it for me?" Bart pleaded. "Please?"

Marge puzzled over the girl's sudden change in attitude. "I thought you didn't like dolls."

"But I do! I do!" Bart insisted. "Please buy it for me, please!"

"We came here to shop for clothes," said Marge firmly. "Now let's go."

Disappointed, Bart followed his mother into the Dullard's clothing store. There Marge consulted with a clerk, who happened to be the Guy Who Says Yeeeess. "I'm looking for a new outfit for my daughter. Something boyish, yet attractively feminine."

"Yeeeess!" replied the clerk. "We have exactly what you need. Come this way, ma'am."

While the clerk led Marge to the girls' pants section, Bart wandered off to browse the dress trees. He found a white dress with a pink collar, and started to dote over it. "So soft...so beautiful..." he mumbled wistfully.

Meanwhile, the clerk was showing Marge a pair of blue slacks with matching blouse. "It looks okay to me," she said, "but let's see what Lisa thinks. Lisa?"

They found the girl still running her fingers over the white dress. "So beautiful..."

"I thought you didn't want a dress," said Marge with surprise.

Bart-in-Lisa shook his head as if coming out of a trance. "Huh?" he grunted incredulously. "Why am I holding this stupid girly dress? If I wore this, I could skydive without a parachute, man!"

"Take a look at these," said Marge, showing him the slacks and blouse.

"Yeah, they're fine," said Bart emotionlessly.

"Do you have dressing rooms?" Marge asked the clerk.

"Yeeeess!" answered the clerk, pointing. "Right over here."

As the two ladies followed the clerk to the dressing room, Bart remarked, "Mom, don't ask this guy any more yes-or-no questions unless you know beforehand that the answer is no."

While he changed into the new outfit, Marge engaged in small talk with the clerk. "Lisa can be capricious at times. One minute she wants to look like a boy, the next she wants to look like a girl again. It's frustrating."

"Yeeeess!" said the clerk. "I was that way when I was a young man."

Shortly Bart came out of the dressing room, wearing the blue slacks and blouse, and a smile. "I feel much better now," he said cheerily. "No more airflow around my butt."

The clerk handed a pen and application form to Marge. "If you sign up for a store credit card, we'll take 20 off the total price. What do you say?"

"Yeeeess!" said Marge.

After paying for the new clothes, Marge and Bart exited the Dullard's store and passed by the Toys-R-Us. "Did you want to look at the new Malibu Stacy doll again?" Marge asked her daughter.

"No way, Mom," Bart-in-Lisa answered. "You know I hate dolls."

When the pair returned home from the mall, they were shocked to see Lisa and Jessica on the couch, holding hands. "Jessica Lovejoy?" exclaimed Bart. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"That's the first time I've ever heard you swear, Lisa," said Jessica condescendingly. "Are you turning over a new leaf?"

"Jessica's my girlfriend again," Lisa-in-Bart explained. "We patched things up. Oh, and if I were a girl, I wouldn't be caught dead in those clothes, Lis. Cough cough take them back cough cough."

"Are you out of your melon?" Bart bellowed at her. "She'll stab you in the back the first chance she gets!"

"I'm counting on it," said Lisa unworriedly.

"You're playing with fire, Bart," said Bart-in-Lisa, rolling his eyes.

He ascended the stairs to his sister's room, and then Homer rushed in, pumping his fists wildly. "We're rich!" he exulted. "We're rich! We're rich!"

"Dad! Shh!" Lisa quieted him.

"We're rich...we're rich..." Homer whispered.

"Dad, Jessica isn't supposed to know!" Lisa chided her father.

"Know what?" asked the clueless Homer.

"That you-know-who did you-know-what in exchange for X amount of dollars," Lisa reminded him.

"Don't talk in riddles, boy!"

"You'll have to excuse my dad," Lisa said to Jessica. "He's overreacting because Mr. Smithers admitted to being at fault in the accident that killed Mr. Burns."

In her room, Bart-in-Lisa took off her necklace and placed it in a drawer, then stood in front of the mirror and admired her boyish new look. Hmm, not bad. I almost feel like my old self again. Now if I could just do something about the hair...

A short while later, Marge, Lisa, and Jessica were watching TV. "And now, the newest reality show from FOX Network--Lost and Spaced!" On the screen, four people--two men and two women--suddenly found themselves in a room full of electronic consoles.

"Hey, where are we?" wondered Man 1.

"It looks like some kind of spacecraft," remarked Woman 1.

"Look out the window!" exclaimed Man 2. "We're in outer space!"

"I can see Earth!" said Woman 2. "We must be millions of miles away!"

"We'll die in the empty void of space!" wailed Man 1.

"Not if we find a way to survive," suggested Woman 1.

"We'll need food, water, and oxygen," said Man 2.

"Who are all you people, anyway?" asked Woman 2.

"Little do our four contestants realize that the spacecraft is really a movie set, and what looks like outer space is really a digital effect!" said the Fox announcer. "Will they survive? Will they get along? Will they go crazy and start killing each other? Tune in next week!"

"I guess everyone got bored with the show about people who get plastic surgery to look like their pets," said Lisa.

Jessica sniffed the air. "I think I smell smoke."

"Don't worry about it," said Marge. "We have a fire alert system. It warns us if there's even the slightest hint of a fire."

"How does it work?" asked Jessica.

Suddenly Homer rushed into the room, waving his arms frantically. "Fire! Fire!" he shrieked.

"That's our cue," said Marge, jumping to her feet.

Grabbing the fire extinguisher from the kitchen, she followed Homer, Lisa, and Jessica to the back yard, where they found a pile of blue material that had been set ablaze. Marge quickly doused the fire with the extinguisher.

Lisa sensed an easily recognizable aroma. "Lighter fluid!"

"What is it?" asked Jessica, gazing at the scorched blue mound. "I mean, what was it?"

Nudging the burned material with her foot, Marge came to a horrible realization. "Oh my God! It's the clothes I just bought for Lisa!"

Homer became enraged and flew at Lisa. "Why, you little..."

While Marge tried to stop Homer from strangling the wrong child, Bart-in-Lisa hurried into the back yard, once again wearing her dress and necklace. "Mom! Dad! Have you seen my new clothes?"

When she saw everyone glowering at her, and the pile of ruined fabric on the ground, her heart split in two. "NOOOOOO!" she wailed.

"Why, Lisa?" Marge demanded. "You could have burned the whole house down! And I spent good money on these clothes!"

"I didn't do it!" cried the horrified Bart.

"How many times have I heard that excuse before?" snarled Homer.

"But I didn't, I swear!" insisted Bart as tears coursed down her cheeks. "I was looking at myself in the mirror, and the next thing I knew I was wearing a dress again..."

"You're grounded, young lady!" Marge barked. "And I'm not buying you any more clothes!"

Bursting into anguished sobs, Bart ran all the way to her bedroom.

"Gosh, why's Lisa acting so weird?" Jessica wondered.

"Well, she's gone through a lot of changes in her life recently," Marge tried to explain.

When she reached her room, Bart-in-Lisa threw herself over the bed and wept uncontrollably. What's the matter with me? she sobbed. I'm crying like a girl! And all because of those stupid clothes!

Seeing a sibling in need of comfort, Lisa entered the room, sat down next to Bart, and ran her hand over his heaving back. Bart, turning his tear-stained face to her, said, "You have to believe me, Lis. I didn't burn my clothes."

"I don't know how that's possible," said Lisa, "unless somebody changed you back into your dress without your knowledge."

Bart cried more bitterly. "I don't remember what happened!"

"I know you must feel really embarrassed right now," said Lisa soothingly, "so let's change the subject to something that won't make you cry."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that once this is over, you and I will understand each other better, and we'll be closer than ever before."

They embraced, and Lisa continued to hug Bart tightly until his tears dried up.

"Why is it so easy for you to be a boy?" he asked her.

"It's not," Lisa admitted. "It's weird and different in a lot of ways, but I know it'll be over soon, so I enjoy it while it lasts. It's sort of like taking a vacation from being a girl." She took a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped Bart's cheeks with it. "There, don't you feel better after a good cry?"

TBC