While Marge and Homer discussed their daughter's unusual behavior, Bart and Lisa came down the stairs. "Mom, Dad, we've come to a decision," said Lisa-in-Bart officiously.

"What do you mean?" Homer protested. "In this house, I'm the one who makes the decisions. Uh, that's true, isn't it, Marge?"

"I don't think I can stand twenty-four more days as a girl," said Bart-in-Lisa. "I'm afraid I'll go crazy."

"What she did to her new clothes may be an early sign of insanity," Lisa theorized.

"Are you saying you want to switch back now?" asked Marge.

"We don't need a million dollars," said Lisa. "We've gotten along fine before."

"Now wait a minute!" Homer groused. "Finally we come across a get-rich-quick scheme that doesn't require me to lift a finger, and you all want to bail out at the first sign of trouble?"

"Homer, our daughter's...our son's mental health is more important than a million dollars," Marge opinionated.

"But with a million dollars, we can pay a doctor to cure whatever's wrong with your noggin," Homer suggested to Bart.

"But what if it can't be cured?" Lisa worried. "Not only will Bart become a vegetable, but I won't be able to return to my body."

Marge picked up the phone. "I'm calling Professor Frink right now."

"No, Marge!" Homer pleaded.

"Do you have a better idea?" Marge pressed him.

Homer thought for a moment. "Uh...uh...yeah! Ask Professor Frink to build a time machine, send Bart and Lisa twenty-four days into the future, get the million dollars, and come back!"

"That wouldn't work," said Marge. "He would catch on."

"Bah!" Homer boasted. "Where you see problems, I see solutions!"

Marge dialed Frink's number. "Hello, Professor Frink?"

"Wait!" Homer ranted. "I have another idea! This one's better!"

"Yes, Bart and Lisa want to reverse the body switch now," Marge spoke into the phone.

"Ask him if he'll give us a million dollars for switching the cat and the dog," Homer urged.

"Okay, I'll ask them," said Marge. Turning to Bart and Lisa, she asked, "Can you wait until tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah, I suppose so," said Bart flatly.

"That's not a problem for me," said Lisa.

"How about Maggie and the dog?" Homer proposed. "Is that worth a million?"

"They say that's fine," said Marge into the phone.

"How about you and Lisa?" Homer suggested. "She's so mature, nobody would notice."

"Thank you, Professor. Goodbye." Marge hung up the phone.

"Call him back!" Homer pleaded. "He didn't hear my ideas!"

"Homer, let's get Bart and Lisa fixed first, then we can talk about your ideas," said Marge urgently.

"Hey, Homer," said Bart, "if you want the money so bad, why don't you switch bodies with someone?"

"Let's get you kids fixed first, then we'll talk about my ideas, and then we'll talk about your ideas," was Homer's response.

"Did he say how much he would pay us for being switched just for a week?" asked Lisa.

"No," answered Marge, "but I'm guessing we get nothing."

"I've got it!" exclaimed Homer. "We wait until the girl goes crazy, then sue Frinky for all he's worth!"

"Shut up, Homer!" Marge yelled.

The next morning was Sunday, and the Simpsons left Bart at their house with Grandpa Abe while they attended church services.

"You go and do your meditation," the old man instructed him, "or whatever it is you do now, and I'll sit here and lean my head back and snore and drool."

"Sure thing, Grandpa," said Bart.

As soon as Grandpa fell asleep in the easy chair, Bart-in-Lisa went to the kitchen cupboard and obtained a can of chocolate frosting and some birthday candles. Using a spatula, he ladled the frosting onto Grandpa's bald scalp and carefully smoothed it out, singing all the while, "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me..."

Sunday school was taught by Helen Lovejoy, and Lisa, Jessica, Janey, Lewis, and Ralph were among those present.

"Mrs. Lovejoy," asked Lewis, "what happened to my little sister who died when she was a baby?"

"She went to heaven," replied the reverend's wife.

Lisa raised her hand. Mrs. Lovejoy sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Was she still a girl after she went to heaven?" was Lisa's question.

"Of course she was," came Mrs. Lovejoy's response.

"Will she be a girl forever and ever?" asked Lisa.

"Yes, Bart. Girls stay girls, and boys stay boys."

"What if a boy wants to be a girl, or a girl wants to be a boy?"

"That's not what God intended, you pervert."

Jessica became indignant. "Mom, that's my boyfriend you're calling a pervert!"

Janey piped up with a question. "What if an evil scientist shoots you with a gender change ray, and then you die? What happens?"

"I don't have to answer that question." said the teacher dismissively.

"Angels are girls," Ralph observed. "They wear dresses."

When church was over, Jessica tagged along with the Simpsons as they returned home. "Thanks for taking care of Lisa," said Marge to Grandpa as he shuffled out the front door.

"Oh, is that what I was doing?" the old man mumbled.

"Lunch should be ready in just a few minutes," said Marge as she sat down with the others to watch TV.

"I learned in sunday school that when people go to heaven, the girls stay girls and the boys stay boys, forever and ever," Lisa related to Bart.

"Why are you telling me this?" Bart asked her. "You're a Buddhist."

"I'm only trying to illustrate the superiority of Buddhism over Christianity. In Buddhism, the spirit isn't male or female. It has no form at all."

"When did you become a Buddhist?" Jessica asked Lisa.

"We interrupt this program for a special news report," said the TV announcer.

"Quiet, everybody!" exclaimed Marge.

The face of Kent Brockman appeared on the screen, and he bore shocking tidings. "Nobel Prize-winning scientist John Frink was found shot dead in his home this morning!"

"Oh God, no!" Marge blurted out.

"Huh?" Homer grunted. "Frinky's dead?"

"AAAAAARGH!" screamed Bart and Lisa in abject horror.

"Who?" wondered Jessica.

The news camera showed Police Chief Wiggum at Frink's home, which was covered in police tape. "He was shot three times in the glavin," the chief recounted. "He died instantly."

"As of this moment, police have no suspects or motives," Brockman continued. "Dr. Frink is survived by his robo-wife Gladys and his clone George."

"Bart, Professor Frink is dead!" Lisa lamented. "Now we'll never be switched back! I'll be a boy for the rest of my life!"

"I'll be a girl for the rest of eternity!" cried Bart, and the siblings wailed in anguish as they embraced each other.

"Who would be capable of such a horrible deed?" Marge wondered.

Homer answered without hesitation. "Fat Tony, Snake, Sideshow Bob, Kang, Kodos, Hank Scorpio, Frank Grimes Jr., those guys with the mind-control flu shots, and Artie Ziff."

"No, not Artie!"

Kent Brockman appeared on the TV with Gladys, robotic widow of the late Dr. Frink. "John programmed me with all the necessary instructions to operate his equipment, in case anything happened to him," she intoned as drops of saline solution flowed down her metallic cheeks.

"Did you hear that?" said Bart.

"That means there's still hope!" Lisa exulted.

"Hope for what?" asked Jessica curiously.

"I guess we should tell her," said Bart-in-Lisa. "Jessica...I'm really Bart."

"And I'm really Lisa," Lisa-in-Bart added. "Professor Frink offered us a million dollars if we switched bodies for a month."

Jessica's mouth fell open. "What...? You mean I've been kissing...a girl?"

"Yes and no," said Lisa. "You see, I wanted to have as many boy experiences as I could while I was in Bart's body. That included having a girlfriend, and having my heart broken by a girl. That's why I chose you--because you can't be trusted."

Jessica could only stammer. "Wh-why, that's...that's the most outrageous, despicable thing I've ever heard! And you have no idea how much that turns me on!"

As she eagerly pressed her lips against Lisa's, Bart tapped his sister on the shoulder. "Come on, loverboy. Let's go see Mrs. Frink about getting switched back."

TBC