Nord of the Bings
Part 2
Spamdalf walked aimlessly round the main room in Bob End, muttering to himself and twitching now and then. Dodo watched him nervously for a few minutes then, not being able to bear it a minute longer, he spoke:
"Would you like a cup of tea, Spamdalf?"
Spamdalf rounded on him in fury- "No! No I don't want a cup of tea! I have more important things to deal with."
Dodo was taken by surprise. The old wizard had always been very kind. Spamdalf looked at him sympathetically:
"I am sorry, Dodo. It's just that I have found some stuff out, and now some people are coming, and loads of stuffs happening, oh, and you're in mortal danger."
Dodo pondered this speech. He could make nothing of it.
"What's wrong Spamdalf?"
"It's your uncles old toilet brush," said Spamdalf, "I have discovered from reading big boys books that it is in fact the special toilet brush."
"What does that mean?" asked Dodo.
"It was moulded and packed ready for mass production by...Moron, one of the most evil things ever, a long time ago. How your uncle found it I have guessed – the creature Sollum. He had the brush for a short time in a cave, and it must have been there that your uncle picked it up."
"So what?"
"So, my boy, you are now in a very bad predicament. Moron will send his caterpillars and ladybirds after you. They are very scary. You cannot linger here. You must leave the Mire immediately!"
Dodo was perplexed.
"Well, I suppose Spamdalf, but I like the Mire. All my friends live here. I'd prefer to stay."
"No Dodo, the Mire is no longer safe. Quickly, you must leave!"
Spamdalf and Dodo quickly gathered together some random garbage lying around and packed it in a bag, along with the toilet brush. Dodo put a purple coat on and tucked his secret weed stash in his pockets (Moppits are great fans of the happy stuff). He was ready for his adventure.
"Wait!" said Spamdalf, "you need a worthless servant, one who is loyal, dim witted, both a nazi love slave and a chef at the same time."
"I know some one who fits that description!" cried Dodo.
Ram Hamlee was a bumbling idiot of a Moppit who lived in the coat closet in Bob End. Dodo summoned him with a cry of "Come, Ram! We are off on a great adventure to keep the toilet brush secret from Moron and his evil crumpets! Let us away!"
And they skipped off down the road together, singing a Moppit nursery rhyme about death and pain. Spamdalf had given Dodo a warning before he left – "This toilet brush is of immense power, Dodo. Keep it secret; keep it dirty. But do not use it! For it is periless to all who attempt to harness its awesome energy."
Dodo gave little thought to it at the time, but little did he know that TERRIBLE STUFF WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!!! Ram and Dodo skipped off through the smelly beauty of the Mire, thinking not of Moron or his brush, but larks, and antelopes, and ham sandwiches and other such pleasant Mire things. The terrible stuff was near, but Dodo and Ram would be ready for it, when the time came...
TO BE CONTINUED
