Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?
by squirrelgirl123
To: Harry PotterFrom: WGN, CEO
Subject: Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?
Mr. Potter,
We, the Wizarding Gameshow Network would like your permission to stage a reality show entitled, "Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?". The purpose of this show will be to discover if contestants have what it takes to be Harry Potter. They will pit themselves against the forces of the media, Virtu-Voldemort, and a variety of other tests designed to winnow down the contestants until only one person remains... the next Harry Potter.
You will, of course, receive a substantial sum (exact amount negotiable) for the use of your name, and exclusive rights for interviews about the contestants. On behalf of all of us at WGN, please accept our offer, and bring in a new era of reality television.
Sincerely,
Ludo Bagman
To: Ron Weasley; Hermione Granger
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?
Ron, Hermione,
I just got an e-mail from WGN asking me if they can do a reality TV show called, "Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?' where poor dumb wizards get to try to be me. What should I tell them?
-Harry
P.S. Since when is Ludo Bagman the head of WGN?
To: Harry Potter
cc: Hermione Granger
From: Ron Weasley
Subject: Re: Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?
Harry,
How much did they offer you? Seriously, let them do it. If anyone's enough of a prat to try out for it, that's their problem.
-Ron
To: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley
From: Hermione Granger
Subject: Re: Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?
Harry,
I agree with Ron (and I don't do that very often.) The show is destined for failure from the start... how can they tell who's adequately equipped to become you? Voldemort's already dead; perhaps they hadn't figured that out yet?
-Hermione
To: WGN, CEO
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Re: Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?
Ludo,
Go ahead, see if I care. The substantial sum will,of course, be negotiated. (100,000 galleons is within an acceptable range.) You do realize that no one's going to watch it.
-Harry
To: Harry Potter
From: Ludo Bagman
Subject: You're Wrong
Harry,
Nonsense, my dear boy. Muggle reality shows have made millions off people watching stupid people preform stupider tasks; why should wizards be any different? Coincidentally, I have deposited the sum of 150,000 galleons into your Gringotts vault.
-Ludo
To: Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Ludo thinks you're wrong
Guys,
Ludo just payed me 150,000 galleons for having a scar. It's not among the best perks, but I'll take it. Anyway, he thinks we're wrong, and that the wizarding public is stupid enough to watch this show. He told me, "Muggle reality shows have made millions off people watching stupid people preform stupider tasks; why should wizards be any different?" I'm hoping he underestimated the general public.
-Harry
P.S. As for evaluated contestants, one word Hermione: Virtu-Voldemort.
To: Harry Potter
cc: Hermione Granger
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Virtu-Voldemort?
Harry,
Virtu-Voldemort? I am going to watch this show.
-Ron
To: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley
From: Hermione Granger
Subject: Re: Virtu-Voldemort?
Ron,
You are so immature. Harry, that's ridiculous. I looked up WGN for you. Appearantly, Ludo botched almost everything after the goblin incident (Triwizard Tournament), and reality television was the only thing left that he couldn't destroy. I, for one, am having second thoughts about that.
-Hermione
To: Mum
From: Ron Weasley
Subject: Guess what?
Mum,
Guess what? There's going to be a reality show based on Harry on WGN sometime soon. And you say I never tell you anything.
Love,
Ron
To: My ungrateful offspring
From: Your Mother
Subject: Re: Guess what?
Dear Ron,
I do wish you would send me things by owl post, it's so much more thoughtful. You young people, it's convenience over quality these days. Besides, then you would send me more than TWO LINES! Ronald Weasley, just because you're an Auror doesn't mean that you don't have time to write your mother. Really, a reality show based on Harry? That sounds rather interesting, don't you think? I shall have to talk to Harry about it.
Love,
Mum
To: Harry Potter
From: Molly Weasley
Harry,
Ron just wrote and told me that there is going to be a reality show based on you aired on WGN. That's fascinating! Please, send me some information about it; I'll be sure to watch your show. What is it called? (I know he's your best friend, but Ron is not an adequate correspondant.)
Love,
Mrs. Weasley.
To: Molly Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?
Dear Mrs. Weasley,
The name of the show is 'Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?" I'm enclosing an article about it, so that you can learn more about it. I have to say, it doesn't sound like quality television to me, but as I'm getting paid, I have to watch it so that Mr. Bagman can interview me for the show.
Love,
Harry
The Daily Prophet
WGN Announces New Reality Series in the Works
A spokesman from WGN (the Wizarding Gameshow Network) announced today that a new show is in the works. The first of a series, "Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?" will give hardcore fans the chance to compete for the honor of being named the next Harry Potter, and 1 million dollars. Ludo Bagman is quoted as saying, "We want to give the fans and viewers a taste of what it's like to be Harry." at a press conference. This reporter would prefer to see Mr. Potter himself in charge of the show. The release of the series will coincide with the end of the Hogwarts school year.
To: Ginny Weasley
From: Molly Weasley
Subject: Harry
Dear Ginny,
I hope you're having a lovely time in Germany; treasure hunter was a wise choice. Everything is going well back at home. Ron is on a new case at work, and England just won another match with Harry as Seeker. It recently came to my attention that Harry is the subject of a new game show ("Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?", perhaps you read about it in the Prophet.) We shall have to watch it when you come home in June. You are coming home, aren't you? You did promise that you would take off the summer.
Love,
Mum
To: Mum
From: Ginny Weasley
Subject: Re: Harry
Dear Mum,
Germany is lovely; the Himmelstein castle has as whole concealed treasure chamber that I recently discovered. It has absolutely unsurpassable protection spells; I was discussing some charm-breaking methods with Hermione yesterday. She mentioned the show to me in passing; I find it interesting that Harry doesn't think it's going to suceed. I agree with Ludo, who purportedly said, "Muggle reality shows have made millions off people watching stupid people preform stupider tasks; why should wizards be any different?". Yes, I'm coming home in June, but I can only stay for two weeks. It's a high-action time for both Gringotts and the Order (I'm stationed in Romania... that should be interesting.)
Love,
Ginny
P.S. This was posted for all Gringotts employees yesterday.
ATTENTION, GRINGOTT'S EMPLOYEES
Are you a male wizard between the ages of eighteen and thirty who wants to win 1 million galleons? Are you skilled in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Quidditch? If so, you may be interested in participating in our new reality show, "Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?" If so, please contact us at; WGN, CEO Ludo Bagman. The Galleons are waiting, and so are we!
To: Harry Potter
From: Ginny Weasley
Subject: Your Reality Show
Harry,
Congratulations on the reality show thing (and on beating Ireland.) There was a notice for Gringotts employees trying to recruit us as contestants. It was only for guys, or else I would be competing to be the next you. (That has to be weird.) What's up with you? I haven't seen you since Christmas; I'm going to be in town during the first two weeks of June, drop by the Burrow then.
-Ginny
To: Ginny Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Subject: I'm beginning to hate this reality show
Ginny,
This sucks so much; you have no idea. Ron and Hermione said that no one would even watch it, but I'm beginning to doubt that. Imagine, a nationally syndicated channel showing people trying to be me! How sad is that? Thanks about Ireland. I keep saying that I'm going to settle down and be an Auror full-time (I didn't go through training for nothing), but Quidditch is too fun to stop while I'm still winning. Say, are you in Romania in July for the Order too? I think Tonks said something of the sort to me. I'll come over in June.
-Harry
