In our last episode, our heroes learned of a secret weapon that had been lost from Florence Liverwurst National Laboratory, and were ordered to keep it out of enemy hands at any cost. Now, as they fly towards San Diablo, California to obtain information from the laboratory, their tireless enemies Boris and Natasha are making their own way around the world in hopes of getting their grubby little mitts on the mysterious weapon!
"What do you mean, grubby?" says Boris to the Narrator. "I washed my hands a month ago!"
The scene shifts to an airport security line. Everyone in the line, with the exception of Boris and Natasha, is a dark-complexioned, bearded man clad in an Arabic robe and turban.
A man wearing the uniform of an airport security guard approaches Boris and Natasha, and gestures. "Sir, ma'am, you've been randomly selected for search. Please step over to the wall and spread out your arms."
"Bah!" protests Boris. "Just because we are from Pottsylvania, you think we are spies!"
The guard runs his wand over Boris, and it starts beeping. He reaches into Boris' overcoat and pulls out a stick of dynamite. "I'll have to confiscate this, sir," he states.
"But...but..."
"We'll just have to fish the old-fashioned way, Boris darlink," says Natasha.
At the same time, a strange vessel has appeared in the stratosphere!
The scene cuts to the stratosphere, where a strange vessel has appeared. It is round and covered with blinking lights. Inside, Gidney and Cloyd are seated at a console, manipulating the controls. "We must make sure the Earthlings don't see us when we land, Cloyd," says Gidney.
"Not a problem, Gidney," says Cloyd. "I'm landing the ship in the middle of the New Mexico desert, about thirty-five miles from a small town called Roswell."
Soon our heroes arrive in California, only to be met with a severe disappointment.
Rocky and Bullwinkle are standing in front of the Hurtz car rental desk, talking to a young female clerk. "What do you mean, you don't have a convertible?" Bullwinkle complains.
"The Bulls came this morning to play the Lakers, and rented them all," the clerk tells him.
"This is an outrage!" shouts the angry moose. "I demand to see the person in charge! Do you have any idea who I am?"
"You're Bullwinkle the Moose," says the clerk indifferently. "Think you can remember that, or should I write it down?"
A short while later, Bullwinkle is hunched over in the driver's seat of a compact car that can barely contain him, and Rocky is belted into the passenger's seat. They are driving along a two-lane road in the middle of the desert.
"Still want bigger antlers?" Rocky asks his friend.
"Hmph," grunts Bullwinkle.
They pass a sign that says, WELCOME TO SAN DIABLO, HOME OF FLORENCE LIVERWURST NATIONAL LABORATORY AND NOT MUCH ELSE.
Little do our heroes suspect that yet another disappointment awaits them at this bastion of scientific progress in the middle of the desert.
In a small auditorium, Rocky and Bullwinkle are greeted by a dozen or so scientists, both men and women, who are dressed in casual clothing. The foremost, a man whose badge reads "Dr. Seymour Tightlips", shakes hands with Bullwinkle.
"I'm Dr. Seymour Tightlips," he announces. "I'm very glad that you could come out to see us. I was a big fan of your cartoons when I was a kid, and I know that if anyone can bring back Wunderkind, you can."
"Dr. Tightlips, what exactly is Wunderkind?" Rocky inquires.
"I can't tell you," says the doctor. "It's top secret."
"At least tell us what it looks like."
"I can't tell you that either."
"How are we supposed to find it if we don't know what it is or what it looks like?"
"If I tell you what it is or what it looks like, I'll have to kill you, and how will you find it if you're dead?"
Meanwhile, our favorite villains and scoundrels, Boris and Natasha, are attempting to gain access to the laboratory.
At the gate leading into the lab, Boris and Natasha are standing in front of a security booth, talking to the grizzled old man who guards the entrance. "Do you have a security clearance?" the guard asks them.
"A security clearance? Ho, ho!" Boris laughs. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Boris Badenov, and this is my partner, Natasha Fatale. We are..."
"You're Pottsylvanian spies," says the guard. "I've seen every episode of your show, but you're still not getting inside without a security clearance."
"Where do we get this security clearance, darlink?" asks Natasha.
"You have to fill out dozens of forms and wait for two years while the government processes them," explains the guard. "Or, if you can't wait that long, we hold a raffle every Sunday."
"Come, Natasha," says Boris. "I get the feelink we are not welcome here."
As Boris and Natasha leave, Snidely Whiplash walks up to the security booth, grinning mischievously.
"Snidely, old chum!" the guard greets him. "Come on in!"
At the edge of the tiny town of San Diablo, Rocky and Bullwinkle are walking along the street. "I don't think we'll get any help from the scientists," says Rocky glumly. "We'll have to figure out what Wunderkind is by ourselves."
"I can't even pronounce Wunderkind," says Bullwinkle.
"It's German. It means 'child prodigy'."
"What's a prodigy?"
"Uh..."
1. A person with exceptional talents or powers. 2. An act or event so extraordinary or rare as to inspire wonder.
"Thanks."
As the pair reaches the end of the street, Rocky spies a strange set of tracks leading into the seemingly endless expanse of desert. "Hokey smoke!" he exclaims, pointing. "Those are the weirdest tracks I've ever seen! They're perfectly round!"
Bullwinkle bends over to analyze the tracks. "They must have been left by aliens!"
"Or a very heavy person with round feet!"
"Let's see where they lead to!"
Rocky and Bullwinkle head off into the desert, following the round tracks.
Five hours later...
Rocky and Bullwinkle are trudging through the sand and sagebrush, sweating and gasping with thirst. "I'm...really...thirsty, Bullwinkle," Rocky pants. "I think...we should...stop...and get some...water."
"Good...idea, Rock," groans Bullwinkle.
They turn around and find to their dismay that the town of San Diablo has completely disappeared from their view. They look in all directions and see nothing but barren desert.
"Omigosh, Bullwinkle!" cries Rocky. "We're lost!"
"We're not lost. The tracks will lead us back to..."
Suddenly our heroes are caught in a blinding sandstorm!
A blinding sandstorm arises from nowhere and coats Rocky and Bullwinkle in sand. A few seconds later, it disappears as quickly as it came.
"Oh, very funny," says Rocky as he empties the sand from his flight helmet.
It's time for the cliffhanger. I had to do something.
"Oh, no!" Bullwinkle realizes. "The tracks are covered up! Now we'll never find our way back to San Diablo!"
"We'll die of thirst in the desert!" Rocky exclaims.
Be sure to see our next exciting episode, "Shadow of a Drought", or, "Dude, Where's my Canteen?"
