Chapter 5
by: squirrelgirl123
To: Harry Potter; Ginny Weasley; Molly Weasley; Ron Weasley
From: Hermione Granger
Subject: Saturday
It's Saturday people! Come to my place at 8:00 for dinner and dessert before the show. If anyone else in the Weasley family is in town, feel free to forward this to them... everyone's invited!
-Hermione
To: Fred Weasley; George Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Fwd: Saturday
Fred, George,
It's the second episode of my show, and it's at your future sister in law's house. Skip whatever party you were planning on going to and come.
-Harry
To: Harry Potter
From: Fred and George
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday
Harry,
As if we would miss the chance to mock you in person and on television at the same time. Don't worry... we'll be there.
-George and Fred
To: Hermione
From: Harry Potter
Subject: The twins
Hermione,
Fred and George agreed to come down. This is a good this on your part, but possibly a bad one on mine. Is there such thing as an anti-mockery charm, and if so, can you cast it?
-Harry
To: Hermione Granger
From: George and Fred
Subject: Saturday Night (we're appearing live)
Hermione,
As our good friend Harry may have informed you, we're plannign on going to your party tonight. As our soon-to-be sister-in-law, we would advise you to conspire on OUR side. We have anti-mockery charm wards; we find them to be very... useful.
-Fred and George
To: Fred and George
From: Hermione
Subject: I AM on your side.
Guys,
Fear not. I wasn't planning on setting up any charms.
-Hermione
To: Hermione
From: George and Fred
Subject: Fantastic! See you at eight.
This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Would you be interested in a job at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes? We could put your talents to good use.
-Fred and George
To: Fred and George
From: Hermione Granger
Subject: Employment
George and Fred,
I think I would enjoy working for you. I'm sure I will find it very... intellectually stimulating. However, I can't start working until after the honeymoon so... September? Just in time for Hogwarts season.
-Hermione
To: Our Future Employee (and sister-in-law)
From: Your Employers
Excellent.
-Fred and George
To: Hermione
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Thanks for hosting....
Hermione,
Thanks for hosting the party, it was very nice. (What's this I hear about you working with Fred and George though?) I think I managed with Rita a little better.
-Harry
To: Harry Potter
From: Hermione Granger
Subject: Re: Thanks for hosting...
Harry,
It was no trouble; seeing everyone together again was well worth it, don't you think? As for the rumor you heard, it is indeed true. I start work September 1st. Yes, I thought your preformance with Rita was better. You're improving Harry.
-Hermione
To: Harry Potter
From: Ginny
Subject: Rita Skeeter and various pests
Harry,
Your interview showed marked improvement... taking the Puking Pastille 30 seconds in was a stroke of genius. Although... what were Fred and George playing at, having a commercial for the Skiving Snackboxes right after that segmert? People are dumb, but not that dumb. Someone is going to call your bluff, Harry. You need an alternative.
-Ginny
To: Ginny Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Re: Rita Skeeter and various pests
Ginny,
It's Fred and George. They like living life on the edge, although if they try another stunt like that, they might be OFF the edge, get my drift? And what do you suggest as an alternative? Nothing stops her from asking me embarrassing/prying/downright annoying questions, except for physical illness. What do you suggest, knocking HER out?
-Harry
To: Harry Potter
From: Ginny
Subject: Not quite...
I think you should grill her about Peter for the season finale... the public has a right to know!
-Ginny
To: Ginny Weasley
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Who's the genius now?
Ginny,
That's BRILLIANT! I'm working on my script as we speak, I'm going to have to memorize a lot of stuff. Anyway, the week is passing quickly... your turn in three days. When should I be there?
-Ginny
To: Harry Potter; Mum; The Twins; Ron; Hermione
From: Ginny
Subject: It's my turn!
Various Friends and/or Relatives,
It has come to my attention that Saturday's party is occuring at my house. I think I need a calendar. Anyway, please arrive between 7:30 and 8:00 bearing some sort of appetizer/dessert. For the cooking-impaired, drinks would be appreciated.
-Ginny
To: Ginny Weasley
From: Rita Skeeter
Subject: Interviews
Ginny,
I got word of your little fandango today through my people. May I come and interview you and Harry for a special piece in the show?
-Rita
To: Rita Skeeter
From: Ginny Weasley
Subject: Re: Inteviews
Rita,
While I admit that you have the right to say whatever you want about me on air, I refuse to allow you in my home, especially to inteview me. You may not quote this document on your segment of "Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?". On a more upbeat note, congratulations on the wedding. I hope you're wedding is pleasant.
-Ginny Weasley
To: Peter Pettigrew
From: Rita Skeeter
Subject: Our Wedding
Peter,
Have you been telling people about the wedding? I thought we agreed that this would be a small ceremony; remember? That's what I've always wanted.
-Rita
To: Rita
From: Peter Pettigrew
Subject: Re: Our Wedding
Rita,
The only person who (to my knowledge) knows about the wedding besides for us is Harry Potter. I correspond with him via e-mail, and he is going to be my best man.
-Peter
To: Peter Pettigrew
From: Rita Skeeter
Subject: You're brilliant!
I would have chosen Harry too, darling. That's perfect!
-Rita
To: Ginny
From: Mum
Subject: The party
Ginny,
We're running a little late, as your father got home half an hour AFTER he said he would. We'll be there as soon as possible, please tape the show in case we miss some of it!
-Mum
To: Harry Potter
From: Ginny Weasley
Subject: Your interviews just keep getting better
Harry,
Well, you escaped looking stupid ALMOST entirely in that last interview. I realize you couldn't use the Nosebleed Nougat too soon, in order to keep things looking realistic, but still; you should have stopped her from bringing Colin Creevey on the show. You could at least have remembered who he was, I thought I would die when he started crying.
-Ginny
p.s. I do feel bad for him, but come on, we had to get a restraining order on him in sixth year because his flash photography was distracting the Quidditch players.
To: Ginny Weasley
From: Harry
Subject: Colin Creevey
Ginny,
I should have remembered him, especially since he was my stalker during most of my life at Hogwarts. That doesn't mean I feel bad for forgetting who he was... it's Rita's fault for bringing all these Hogwarts people on the show. I'm all set for the finale... the tables are (finally) going to be turned on her.
-Harry
To: Harry Potter
From: Colin Creevey
Subject: I'm sorry
Harry,
I'm so sorry I slapped you. I felt especially bad when it gave you a bloody nose (I didn't know I hit that hard!). I did get some awesome shots though, so if you're interested, give me a call. Dennis pointed out that sobbing hysterically and htting you might not have been the most mature reaction. I think I might have been overreacting a little, sorry about that.
-Colin
To: Colin Creevey
From: Harry Potter
Subject: Re: I'm sorry
Colin,
Don't worry about it, I'm fine. Sorry I couldn't remember your name and all, I have a really bad memory. I think I'll skip the pictures, but thanks for the offer.
-Harry
To: Dennis Creevey
From: Colin Creevey
Subject: HE E-MAILED ME!
Dennis,
You'll never guess what happened today. HARRY POTTER E-MAILED ME! I laminated it, and I'm putting it in the Harry Files. Can you believe it? Maybe Harry will finally remember my name. (I decided against putting the show transcript in the Files, as I feel it portrays me in a negative way. The reporter was probably biased against me.)
-Colin
