Chapter 5

by: squirrelgirl123

To: Harry Potter; Ginny Weasley; Molly Weasley; Ron Weasley

From: Hermione Granger

Subject: Saturday

It's Saturday people! Come to my place at 8:00 for dinner and dessert before the show. If anyone else in the Weasley family is in town, feel free to forward this to them... everyone's invited!

-Hermione

To: Fred Weasley; George Weasley

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Fwd: Saturday

Fred, George,

It's the second episode of my show, and it's at your future sister in law's house. Skip whatever party you were planning on going to and come.

-Harry

To: Harry Potter

From: Fred and George

Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday

Harry,

As if we would miss the chance to mock you in person and on television at the same time. Don't worry... we'll be there.

-George and Fred

To: Hermione

From: Harry Potter

Subject: The twins

Hermione,

Fred and George agreed to come down. This is a good this on your part, but possibly a bad one on mine. Is there such thing as an anti-mockery charm, and if so, can you cast it?

-Harry

To: Hermione Granger

From: George and Fred

Subject: Saturday Night (we're appearing live)

Hermione,

As our good friend Harry may have informed you, we're plannign on going to your party tonight. As our soon-to-be sister-in-law, we would advise you to conspire on OUR side. We have anti-mockery charm wards; we find them to be very... useful.

-Fred and George

To: Fred and George

From: Hermione

Subject: I AM on your side.

Guys,

Fear not. I wasn't planning on setting up any charms.

-Hermione

To: Hermione

From: George and Fred

Subject: Fantastic! See you at eight.

This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Would you be interested in a job at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes? We could put your talents to good use.

-Fred and George

To: Fred and George

From: Hermione Granger

Subject: Employment

George and Fred,

I think I would enjoy working for you. I'm sure I will find it very... intellectually stimulating. However, I can't start working until after the honeymoon so... September? Just in time for Hogwarts season.

-Hermione

To: Our Future Employee (and sister-in-law)

From: Your Employers

Excellent.

-Fred and George

To: Hermione

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Thanks for hosting....

Hermione,

Thanks for hosting the party, it was very nice. (What's this I hear about you working with Fred and George though?) I think I managed with Rita a little better.

-Harry

To: Harry Potter

From: Hermione Granger

Subject: Re: Thanks for hosting...

Harry,

It was no trouble; seeing everyone together again was well worth it, don't you think? As for the rumor you heard, it is indeed true. I start work September 1st. Yes, I thought your preformance with Rita was better. You're improving Harry.

-Hermione

To: Harry Potter

From: Ginny

Subject: Rita Skeeter and various pests

Harry,

Your interview showed marked improvement... taking the Puking Pastille 30 seconds in was a stroke of genius. Although... what were Fred and George playing at, having a commercial for the Skiving Snackboxes right after that segmert? People are dumb, but not that dumb. Someone is going to call your bluff, Harry. You need an alternative.

-Ginny

To: Ginny Weasley

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Re: Rita Skeeter and various pests

Ginny,

It's Fred and George. They like living life on the edge, although if they try another stunt like that, they might be OFF the edge, get my drift? And what do you suggest as an alternative? Nothing stops her from asking me embarrassing/prying/downright annoying questions, except for physical illness. What do you suggest, knocking HER out?

-Harry

To: Harry Potter

From: Ginny

Subject: Not quite...

I think you should grill her about Peter for the season finale... the public has a right to know!

-Ginny

To: Ginny Weasley

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Who's the genius now?

Ginny,

That's BRILLIANT! I'm working on my script as we speak, I'm going to have to memorize a lot of stuff. Anyway, the week is passing quickly... your turn in three days. When should I be there?

-Ginny

To: Harry Potter; Mum; The Twins; Ron; Hermione

From: Ginny

Subject: It's my turn!

Various Friends and/or Relatives,

It has come to my attention that Saturday's party is occuring at my house. I think I need a calendar. Anyway, please arrive between 7:30 and 8:00 bearing some sort of appetizer/dessert. For the cooking-impaired, drinks would be appreciated.

-Ginny

To: Ginny Weasley

From: Rita Skeeter

Subject: Interviews

Ginny,

I got word of your little fandango today through my people. May I come and interview you and Harry for a special piece in the show?

-Rita

To: Rita Skeeter

From: Ginny Weasley

Subject: Re: Inteviews

Rita,

While I admit that you have the right to say whatever you want about me on air, I refuse to allow you in my home, especially to inteview me. You may not quote this document on your segment of "Who Wants to be... Harry Potter?". On a more upbeat note, congratulations on the wedding. I hope you're wedding is pleasant.

-Ginny Weasley

To: Peter Pettigrew

From: Rita Skeeter

Subject: Our Wedding

Peter,

Have you been telling people about the wedding? I thought we agreed that this would be a small ceremony; remember? That's what I've always wanted.

-Rita

To: Rita

From: Peter Pettigrew

Subject: Re: Our Wedding

Rita,

The only person who (to my knowledge) knows about the wedding besides for us is Harry Potter. I correspond with him via e-mail, and he is going to be my best man.

-Peter

To: Peter Pettigrew

From: Rita Skeeter

Subject: You're brilliant!

I would have chosen Harry too, darling. That's perfect!

-Rita

To: Ginny

From: Mum

Subject: The party

Ginny,

We're running a little late, as your father got home half an hour AFTER he said he would. We'll be there as soon as possible, please tape the show in case we miss some of it!

-Mum

To: Harry Potter

From: Ginny Weasley

Subject: Your interviews just keep getting better

Harry,

Well, you escaped looking stupid ALMOST entirely in that last interview. I realize you couldn't use the Nosebleed Nougat too soon, in order to keep things looking realistic, but still; you should have stopped her from bringing Colin Creevey on the show. You could at least have remembered who he was, I thought I would die when he started crying.

-Ginny

p.s. I do feel bad for him, but come on, we had to get a restraining order on him in sixth year because his flash photography was distracting the Quidditch players.

To: Ginny Weasley

From: Harry

Subject: Colin Creevey

Ginny,

I should have remembered him, especially since he was my stalker during most of my life at Hogwarts. That doesn't mean I feel bad for forgetting who he was... it's Rita's fault for bringing all these Hogwarts people on the show. I'm all set for the finale... the tables are (finally) going to be turned on her.

-Harry

To: Harry Potter

From: Colin Creevey

Subject: I'm sorry

Harry,

I'm so sorry I slapped you. I felt especially bad when it gave you a bloody nose (I didn't know I hit that hard!). I did get some awesome shots though, so if you're interested, give me a call. Dennis pointed out that sobbing hysterically and htting you might not have been the most mature reaction. I think I might have been overreacting a little, sorry about that.

-Colin

To: Colin Creevey

From: Harry Potter

Subject: Re: I'm sorry

Colin,

Don't worry about it, I'm fine. Sorry I couldn't remember your name and all, I have a really bad memory. I think I'll skip the pictures, but thanks for the offer.

-Harry

To: Dennis Creevey

From: Colin Creevey

Subject: HE E-MAILED ME!

Dennis,

You'll never guess what happened today. HARRY POTTER E-MAILED ME! I laminated it, and I'm putting it in the Harry Files. Can you believe it? Maybe Harry will finally remember my name. (I decided against putting the show transcript in the Files, as I feel it portrays me in a negative way. The reporter was probably biased against me.)

-Colin