Chapter 7: The Season Finale
by: squirrelgirl123
Harry's Quidditch match had ran a suprising four hours, twenty three minutes, and he was very late for Fred and George's party for the finale. He had told Ginny to go ahead while he got ready, and he was now running through the streets of Diagon Alley, trying to get to there as soon as possible.
At the corner of Florian Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, he heard screaming, and a high pitched laugh that... no. There was no way Lord Voldemort was around the corner. It was just too bizarre. As Harry prepared to peer around the building, he was plowed over by a large woman in tweed robes and spiky pumps.
Painfully, Harry peeled himself off the ground, checking for puncture wounds. He limped into the ice cream parlor, barely evading a stampede of witches and wizards. Mr. Fortescue himself was hiding behind the counter of the shop; Harry could see his eyes peering nervously at him from behind a model of an ice cream sundae.
Thoughts of the party aside, Harry slipped through the back door of the ice cream parlor, right into a extraordinary spectacle. A group of people who looked vaguely familiar were huddled together, while Voldemort giggled, a manic glint in his eye. He was apparantly conversing with Peter Pettigrew (The traitor! Harry thought indignantly) in an attempt to decide who to kill first.
Harry drew his wand, not pausing to think how improbable the entire thing was. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" Harry shouted, pointing the wand directly at Voldemort.
The spell went through him with a swoosh, then hit a sqirrel sitting in a rather unfortunately positioned tree. The squirrel fell to the ground with an audible thunk.
"What?" Harry muttered anxiously, not comprehending. "That ALWAYS works. I mean, it's foolproof."
"Not now!" Voldemort informed him, chuckling insanely.
"Hey, what are you doing?" a man asked him, breaking away from the huddle.
"I'm taking care of him for you." Harry said, pointing at the obviously evil figure standing several yards away.
He directed his attention away from the little group, pointing his wand again. Bringing to mind every curse he knew, Harry began to shout. Voldemort quaked in fear (Something is very wrong with this picture.Harry thought) but made no move to attack. Finally, a scant three minutes later, Voldemort grew boils and spontaneously combusted.
Harry braced himself for a shower of blood, but it never came. Finally, he opened his eyes, which widened at the sight they were taking in. Instead of blood, there was mechanical parts strewn every which way. A lone spring was bouncing on the pavement.
"Oh, God." Harry said, suddenly understanding. "I've killed Virtu-Voldemort."
The same man who had spoken to him before approached him again. "Well, congratualations." he said, looking a bit disconsolate. "You've won a million galleons, and you're the next Harry Potter.'
"I can't be the next Harry Potter." Harry told him, sighing. "I am Harry Potter." He disappearated with a pop. He was far too late for the party already.
Harry was made to relate his story many times, as it all played out on the television. Fred and George passed around a bowl of chips, snorting with laughter as Harry explained what had happened after he had 'slain' Voldemort.
Out on the veranda, Harry and Ginny were finally alone. Harry looked deeply into Ginny's brown eyes, took a deep breath and said, "There was one thing that kept running through my mind when I was fighting Voldemort."
"Yes, Harry?" Ginny said, prompting him.
"I just kept thinking-"
"Yes
Harry?"
"How much I wanted a Coca-Cola 2. I mean... half the
carbs, half the calories, and all the great taste!"
"Oh, Harry!"
Harry and Ginny engaged in a long, movie-style kiss, while everyone looked on through the french doors.
THE END
This, in my opinion, was a perfect ending. I love blatant product placement. However, as a true Coca-Cola fan, I feel obliged to say that nothing beats the original. And I'm sorry about the dead squirrel. Believe me, I've had many sleepless nights over killing it off...
