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Chapter Eighty
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Opening the Door – Part Two
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If only to get this out in the open and over with, Elizabeth continued to speak. "Thank you for forgiving me." She then paused, gripping her handkerchief. "You asked me if I would have broken my engagement with Lucas if you hadn't departed and I hadn't collapsed? I believe I would have. I was miserable and had begun to notice how little he was concerned for Jack. He also grew short-tempered with me and left town without telling me. When I asked upon his return, he brushed me off and said I wouldn't understand." Elizabeth smiled. "There was just enough of the old me left to have that rankle me. Lucas belittled my mental ability. I noticed that and did not like it at all!"
Nathan smiled slightly, agreeing that was not the way to win the heart of Elizabeth Thornton!
"Yet, in spite of making a promise to wed, I couldn't imagine that happening. I was trying to muster the courage to have a conversation with him, but your leaving changed that. When Joseph asked if I wanted to write a note to break it off, I was ready, Nathan. So the answer to your question is that I was preparing to break up before you left."
"Your other questions are harder. Could I expect you would always wait for me or expect you to take me back easily?" Elizabeth gulped. "I wish I could say yes, but truthfully, I didn't expect anything. I tried not to even think about you and me or any possibilities. I was unsuccessful as your name is peppered throughout my journals before I became engaged. I stopped writing then, but Nathan you have owned my heart since we first met."
Nathan startled at that admission.
"You were right that day at the brook when you said you knew I felt the same way. I loved you then and still do, Nathan. I never loved Lucas. I liked him, although even that confession sickens me now, but I never loved him. I was never drawn to him as I always was to you. There was no magnetism or spark. Whereas, Rosemary says the entire town saw how I was drawn to you, how I watched you and looked longingly at you. I was blind, or in denial or… I don't know, but I held you in my heart. That I know."
Elizabeth searched Nathan's face, looking for recrimination. She found none. Nathan was silent, staring at the fire, but his face was calm. "Have I overwhelmed you with my flood of words? Nathan? Please talk to me? Tell me what you are thinking? I am listening and I want to know."
Nathan tore his eyes from the flames and looked at Elizabeth again. "Honestly? I'm not sure what I think right now. We have been through the full gamut of emotions and I felt caught off guard to even hear your voice on the telephone. Mountie training doesn't prepare you for this, Elizabeth. I am grateful you have asked for forgiveness for so much, and I willingly grant it. Holding on to wounds makes us bitter, so I forgive you. Yet, all your confessions are jarring, like you have pushed me off of my foundation and I feel unsteady."
Swallowing hard, Nathan searched her face. "It was wasteful to even wish it, but I so longed for you to confess these things to me previously. Well, at least some of them. I have second-guessed myself so often, feeling that I sensed truth, but see you deny it in your every action. I think I need some time to absorb it all."
"Of course you do." She whispered. "But while you think about it, please remember my devotion to you, Nathan. It's my heart's desire to move forward in a relationship with you. I hope that doesn't seem too bold? I don't mean to be unladylike. I just feel I need to convince you and my presence and assurances are a part of that. I aim for you to know you can trust me, Nathan. With God as my witness, I vow to be loyal to you and seek your good from this moment forward." Elizabeth caught her breath as she heard her own words. She meant every one, but had not planned on verbalizing them so soon.
On the other hand, Nathan drank in her promise, her vow and took it to heart. He could not respond in kind, but tonight he sensed and heard Elizabeth's sincerity.
Elizabeth turned to watch the flames as Nathan stared into them, quietly. Finally she spoke softly, "I don't know your schedule at the Academy, but could we meet for lunch or for tomorrow night's dinner? Carol offered the use of her kitchen and said Allie sometimes helps her cook when she gets home from school. Could I fix dinner for the three of us? At lease on our first day?"
Nathan smiled, knowing that once Allie got over the shock of Elizabeth's presence, she would love that more than anything.
"Why don't you and Allie cook together, but to eat here? Although I want to meet your mother, I am not quite ready to eat a meal with you and with her. I need a little time to be secure in my position right now. Is that okay? Maybe I will make dinner the following evening? You may look in our icebox before you leave to see what you can use. You may as well cook in our kitchen here and Allie can show you where to find things."
"That is wonderful. I look forward to both get-togethers. Maybe…" Elizabeth looked shyly at Nathan. "Could we sing together some night this week? Carol's praise of your solo this morning was effusive and, if I can keep from tears, I would love to hear you sing again."
"Again, I need to be sure I have control over my emotions, so maybe later in the week? We have time. Oh. Before I forget, Allie's school chorus concert is on Friday evening. May I invite you and your mother to join us? Our tradition is to spend Friday dinner with the Collins's so we would go after that. Peter and Carol will also be attending, along with Adeli, Bill's lady friend, and other parents and faculty from Allie's school and my work associates. It would be nice for you to meet them all. Would you do me the honor?"
"I would love that, Nathan! Yes please, and thank you. I can accept for my mother as she is so interested in getting to know you and Allie. Dad's report was glowing! You both made a lasting and love-filled impression!"
"Oh? Good. We'll look forward to that." Nathan glanced at the clock. "Now, Allie will be here soon. Are you ready?"
"I hope so. I've been praying about tonight for many weeks. Oh, I don't want to forget. I have a note for you to read later, after I've gone. Maybe we can discuss it tomorrow after dinner?"
Nathan took the small envelope from Elizabeth's hand and felt the startling spark. Looking up quickly, he saw she had felt it too though it was a momentary and feather-light touch of their fingers. Nathan and Elizabeth locked glances, remembering a spark from long ago.
A key in the lock announced Allie's arrival and Nathan quickly stood to meet her at the door.
"Hi Da…" Allie froze mid-sentence and mid-step, shock playing across her face. Then as quickly as she had stopped, Allie flew across the room and into Elizabeth's arms. Her warm hug reminded Elizabeth of the one she had witnessed Allie give to her father after the inquiry. "Mrs. Thornton!" Allie's excited exclamation was smothered between them.
"Oh Allie! How I have missed you. Everyone has missed you. Hope Valley just hasn't been the same since you and your Dad left." Elizabeth pulled back to look into Allie's shining eyes. "How I love you, you dear girl."
Another moment of surprise crossed Allie's face and she caught her breath quickly. "You do?"
"Oh, Allie. I do. I have some things to talk to you about though. Can we sit down?"
Watching their hug, Nathan had cleared his books from the sofa and motioned for them to take a seat after which he sat in the chair Elizabeth had vacated. He observed quietly.
A few tears escaped down Allie's cheeks as they sat together, but she looked adoringly at her former teacher.
Elizabeth took both of Allie's hands in her own and began. "Allie, I have to ask your forgiveness for breaking off our sweet relationship when I began to date Lucas. I confessed that in my letter to you, but what I could not put on paper I must tell you now. I am so sorry for using you to try to gain information about your Dad. We were becoming so distant, yet I longed to know about him and I tried to use you as a source of that information." Tears formed in the corner of Elizabeth's eyes. "I was so wrong and I ask your forgiveness. I was unkind, and thoughtless. Actually I selfishly thought only of myself. Can you forgive me?" She gently squeezed Allie's hands. "Please."
Allie nodded solemnly. "I already have forgiven you, Mrs. Thornton. Dad taught me how and we have been forgiving you and praying for you for a long time now. Don't worry."
"Oh Allie. I am so grateful to hear that. Thank you, Sweetheart." Elizabeth assessed the growing maturity in her former student, then spoke softly. "You have grown up, Allie. And you are beautiful."
Blushing, but so pleased with her teacher's compliment, Allie smiled. "Thank you. Dad tells me that too. I mean I'm growing up… Well, he tells me the other part too." Her blush deepened.
"Of course he does." Elizabeth glanced at Nathan with smiling eyes. "So, tell me how was Youth Group tonight?"
"Oh, it was really fun. We are going to visit older people on Saturday. There is Home for the Aged in Regina and we prepared cards tonight so we can give everyone who lives there a special Christmas greeting. Dad and I had that idea and Mr. and Mrs. B. liked our idea." Looking over at her Dad, Allie shared. "Can we bring some cookies, Dad? Lots of others are donating food."
Nodding, Nathan said. "Of course. We may have to make them on Thursday though, before choir rehearsal because your concert is on Friday night remember."
"Oh, I do." Returning to face her teacher, Allie asked. "How long are you staying? Can you attend my concert?"
Elizabeth nodded. "Your father mentioned it to me and, yes, I would love to attend. I would like to bring my mother along too, okay?"
"Mrs. Thatcher is here too? Oh, I really loved Mr. Thatcher! He was so much fun. I look forward to meeting your mother." Allie enthused. "Oh! Is Jack here too?"
"Uh, no. He is back in Hope Valley with my father and our butler, and Laura and Uncle Bill. Oh Allie, Nathan! Did you know? Rosemary and Lee are adopting a little boy from Brookfield! He arrives this coming week. He's close in age to Jack, so they can be playmates!"
"Really? How exciting. What is his name?" Allie inquired, curious.
"Patrick! It is Providential because Lee had a little brother who died very young and his name was Patrick. God had it planned all along!"
"Wait! Dad? Do you remember the name of the little boy that Uncle Gabe was going to give my toy dog to? Wasn't it Patrick? Could they be the same boy?"
"I think you are right, Allie." Nathan chuckled. "Maybe your little dog has come back home to Hope Valley!"
"Oh, I really hope so!"
"Well, Honey. I am sorry to have to remind you, but you have school tomorrow so I think you best say goodnight to Mrs. Thornton. You'll see her tomorrow."
"Actually Allie, when you get home from school, would you like to help me make dinner for you and your Dad and me?"
"Oh yes!" Allie clapped her hands with glee as she stood. Then bending over Elizabeth, Allie gave her a goodnight hug before moving to hug her Dad. "Oops! I didn't hug you when I got home, did I? I'm sorry, Dad, I was just so surprised to see Mrs. Thornton."
"Understandable, Honey. We'll make up for it sometime." He tweaked her nose. "You call me when you are ready to pray okay?"
"I will, Dad. Goodnight, Mrs. Thornton. See you tomorrow. Oh! Where are you staying?"
"I'm up at the Collins's in the main house."
"Oh! That's great! See you tomorrow."
Elizabeth waited in the front room, taking note of the artwork, the many books, the mantel clock and other knick-knacks, including a beautiful photograph of Nathan and Allie. The room was comfortable and lived-in, yet neat and nicely decorated. She wondered if that resulted from a joint father-daughter effort.
Upon returning to the front room, Nathan spoke quietly. "I think I should walk you to Peter's and Carol's now, okay? It has been a full day and I feel spent."
"Of course, Nathan." As he helped her don her overcoat, she thanked him again. "Thank you for being willing to see me tonight, Nathan."
This time, Nathan could honestly say thank you for coming.
Grateful she and her mother were not sharing a room, Elizabeth turned out the light and whispered prayers as she relived the evening. Her time with Nathan had been emotional but, by the end, full of hope.
Now, when Allie had come in, Elizabeth had expected to see the shock play across her face as she froze, attempting to comprehend the sight of her teacher in her home. Elizabeth had soon been delighted to see Allie fly across the room and envelope Elizabeth into her warm and welcoming hug.
Elizabeth was grateful that Nathan quietly watched, and she was fairly certain he was praying. He didn't interfere with her confessions to Allie and her realizations that she had used Allie and been unkind and thoughtless.
Graciously Allie had extended her forgiveness and relief to get her teacher's letter and to see her here in Regina. Excited to see her after school, Allie had expressed a wish that Elizabeth could visit and tour St. Anne's. They had a lot to look forward to and, as Elizabeth gave thanks to the Lord, she fell into an unburdened and hope-filled sleep.
As Nathan laid his head on his pillow, his mind was swirling. Elizabeth was here, in the house next door. She was different. Very much changed and he rejoiced to see this more mature, thoughtful, calm woman. There was a peace about her… a serenity. In spite of the full range of emotions they had shared this evening, Nathan felt hope. He would still be cautious and make no promises, but he was encouraged. Seeing Allie's acceptance was also encouraging, but Nathan was now emotionally spent and exhausted, so he prayed.
'Lord? What a surprise tonight was. You knew all along, but I think I am still reeling. Thank you for Elizabeth's visit! For her honesty, confessions, declarations and requests. Guide us through these coming days? Guide me, Lord. I trust you with my heart and my life and whatever you have planned for Elizabeth and me. I leave it all in your hands as I cannot dream or even imagine our next steps. Please guide our conversations, Lord? And now? Please give us both rest and peace as we sleep, trusting tomorrow into your hands. I give you thanks and praise. Amen.'
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