Back again. Ahh. More ways to torture Freddy with fanfiction. I feel better already (that, and X-mas break being here). ^-^
Uh...yeah. I posted the 1st chapter again. Oops. Sorry about that! It's just...I'm losing the pitiful remains of my brain cells over vacation. Anyways, sorry about that!
Thanks to PsYcHo PirATe METALLICA and Danielle L. B for being my first reviewers, and thanks to Danielle to constructively criticizing me. It helped.^_^ As she said, the idea of Freddy with pop-ups and a computer is pretty unrealistic. So this fic is AU (Alternate Universe) because of the unrealistic situations. If you don't like AU, don't read. Also, no flames.
Disclaimer: Wow. If I owned ANY part of "Nightmare on Elmstreet" or "Freddy vs. Jason", I would be hiding away in an dark mansion, coming up with more horror, and spending all of my days writing. Sigh. But I don't. Nor do I own anything else that appears in this story.
Also, Danielle L.B pointed out that it didn't seem like fanfiction to her, and she's kinda right. it's really more about the types of stories, even those not in the "Nightmare on Elmstreet" area. Which brings me to my next point: types of fanfiction. You're gonna be seeing some types of fanfictions that haven't been written for this section. And you'll be seeing some different types of sections other than "Nightmare on Elmstreet". Why? You ask. Well to make it more interesting of course.
If you have any thing you'd like to see, go ahead and ask. I don't mind suggestions. All the more to torture my favorite villain. *evil grin*
Warning: Mary-Sue bashing. (Not very good, but hey. I'm writing this more for my own amusement than anything else, so I don't really care.)
Alright, I'll shut up now. Enjoy!
Freddy vs. Fanfiction
Under the Mistletoe with Mary...
Freddy found himself back in the study of his nightmare home. Shuddering, he tried to leave the sight, but found himself unable to. Damn computer.
Reluctantly, shifting through more pop-ups about viagra ("What do I need THAT stuff for? I'm eternally young!"), he escaped the "Nightmare on Elmstreet" section, figuring he wouldn't get sucked in if he weren't in his own section. (Great sentence structure, I know. ^_~)
Somehow, he wound up reading a mistletoe fic (AN) against his will. What the- Freddy gagged as his eyes scanned all the fluffiness. Urgghh. The lovey-dovey bulls&*^ ! I'd rather watch that Lizzie McGuire crap than this! The agony! The dream haunter was just leaving to *ahem* relieve his nausea when another aura engulfed him. Jesus Christ! What now?
*Weird color sequence with tiny, dancing happy Fredddies (like I said, AU)*
Freddy found himself in yet another unusual circumstance as he sat up, wincing at the cheery atmosphere. Not again! This better not be... His hypothesis, as much as he wanted it to be false, was proven correct when he looked above him, and saw the evil little plant smirking down at him; mistletoe.
Just great.. he thought bitterly, dusting his ratty clothes off as he stood up. "Excuse me?" A harmonious voice rang out, as if from heaven's choir. Freddy's illness returned the moment the first syllable hit his ear. "Are you alright?" He whirled to see a girl, an adolescent it appeared, standing in front of him. Her hair, a luminous platinum blond color, falling in waves down to her back, accentuated her heart-shaped face, a beautiful alabaster not found in most girls. Her haunting blue eyes didn't seem to mind as they observed him checking her out.
She had a nice rack, he'd give her that. And her hips weren't too bad either. Nice tits, great body... As much as he was enjoying looking at her, he couldn't shake off a feeling that something was wrong with this girl. Indeed he was correct yet again; this girl was a Mary-Sue. But he didn't know that. Yet.
"Mister?" She called out to him again in that sugary sweet tone. Nausea...Must find...bathroom... "What the hell do you want, bitch?" He demanded in a harsh tone, trying his best not to puke all over the girl. On second thought...Freddy retched all over the stupid little whore. But instead of bursting out into tears, the girl...Wait. Hadn't he just puked all over her green sweater? If so, then why was it back to it's normal state of unearthly cleanliness? That's not right...Freddy had become disturbed at her seemingly magical ability. "Oh." She giggled, a sound, if possible, that was worst than her normal pitch. "You must be wondering how I became so clean, so fast. Everyone does."
She was worse than all those bitches he had to face back in the 80's. "Anyway," She went on, clearly not getting the fact he wanted to massacre her to shreds. "I'm like," She blushed, trying to be humble, because, after all, she was perfect. "Well, I'm really athletic..." Freddy tuned her out as she started an never-ending speech of how terrible her life was, and how fortunate she had been by cleverly escaping her hellish family. Freddy dashed from the room, his nausea returning and spent a good 4 hours getting to know the toilet better.
While on his way back, (in hopes of finding an escape) he contemplated on how perfect that girl seemed. First of all, she kept "checking him out" as he did her. But that was to be expected. He was a pervert. But she? No normal girl would ever find him attractive, as much as he thought of himself as attractive. Second, she seemed to have no flaws. That just wasn't right. At all. And third, how did she maintain those breasts with that thin waistline of hers? It was just...wrong.
When he entered the room, the creepy blond bitch cornered him against the wall, underneath that same mistletoe. "What the f-" But before he could even begin to protest, the girl had put her lips to his and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Arggh...Freddy usually liked good sex (he's a guy, and an evil one at that ;p), but this, this was disturbingly sweet. Her lip gloss was some nasty fruit flavor that somehow ended up in his mouth.
Where had he seen girls like this before? He knew there was something to damn familiar about this girl, but he didn't know what.
Then it dawned on him. Mary-Sue... It was an evil worse than the Catholic church. And he found, to his amazement, that when he shoved, Mary-Sue fell down. Now he was the one with the evil grin upon his face.
"Listen, bitch, do you know who I am?" He hissed at the slender figure heaped upon the floor. Being a Mary-Sue, she had unnatural supernatural powers. "Yes I do , Freddy." She stood up, somehow changing form as she unfurled herself from her weakened state. Now she was equipped with the most advanced weapons, as well as her amazing intuition. "And I'm here to undo the wrong you have done to others.
Sure you were. Freddy thought dryly. He knew the girl was just trying to get laid. Not that he could blame her for wanting the most evil villain of all time. He grinned menacingly. "Are you sure you don't want some more of this darling?" He licked his lips tauntingly. The look she gave him was of pure repulsion. "I would never even consider dating someone like you." She spat at him, venom hinting at her every word.
"Really now?" Freddy was enjoying this. "I could have sworn just a minute ago you were coming onto me." His grin grew more wicked. "If you want to continue, you know all you have to do is." She interrupted him. "I was NOT coming onto you. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't." For lack of a better response, she stomped her feet and began wailing an intolerable noise. Instantly, all the males in the room came to her aid, as they heard the scream.
Freddy decided that that was the opportune moment to make his move. A bloodcurdling scream, louder and higher pitched than before came out of the Mary-Sue's mouth, and Freddy regretted stabbing her. But he enjoyed the sight of her death, as melodramatic and perfect as it might seem.
"Please...my...loves." Her breathe was growing shorter by the moment. "For me...kill....him." The last thing she ever did was point. At Freddy. Freddy snorted. There was no chance for any of the men in the room.
All of a sudden, the walls from all around caved as legions of guys attacked. Christ! How many people did that whore sleep with? Freddy was dumbfounded, and unprepared for the ensuing attack. He raised his clawed hand in defense, anticipating a huge kill.
But they came from all around, various objects in hand. There was a rubber duck, a fork, a spoon, and one guy even ripped off one of the dead girl's arms and began poking him with it. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Freddy was clearly outnumbered, and just when he was about to scream from insanity, he was back in his study. "Goddamn you stupid f%$#ing computer." He kicked it in it's rage. But this was clearly a mistake.
Author's Note: "Mistletoe fic" is a romance story where two people who secretly like each other meet under the mistletoe. I twisted this a bit to make it more interesting.
