I know. I haven't updated for…ever. The main reason is because school is such a pain in my ass (But now I'm on spring break…yayness!) and I have work. (That's right. I'm employed ^_^)

As I said last chapter, this chapter is about the '70s. Roller rinks, afros, all that good stuff. (And *shudders* disco…)

Disclaimer: If you still don't understand the fact that I don't own "A Nightmare on Elmstreet", you have serious issues dude. Also, I own NONE of the seventies, the songs or any other artifact from that decade. Nor do I own the brilliance that is "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"… Now, on with the story… 

BTW~ The RHPS bit takes place before the movie. So Brad and Janet will not be in the picture. Actually, the only part I'm really using is…you'll have to wait and see…;P 

FYI- If I offend ANY RHPS fans, for doing injustice to the characters, I apologize in advance.

Of Afros and Transvestites…

Last we saw Freddy, he was in a frilly piece of lingerie (colored a lovely shade of hot pink, I might add), parading around the town, flaunting his *goods* (Ha!). He was also stuck in the 60s. With no clue as to how to get of there. He supposed he'd just have to wait for that bitch of a computer to stop menstruating…

Which was the wrong thing to suppose, on his part. Then again, he is male, so we must forgive his lack of knowledge (any males reading this…sorry! ^_~) of the female anatomy. Alas, before he could utter a simple "fuck", Freddy was whisked away by the magical dancing Freddies, victim to the will of his computer.

~*~*~*~*

What the hell happened this time? He awoke among neon lights, glaringly blinding him for the moment. "AH MY EYES!" He yelped, rubbing his decent hand over both eyes, trying to rid of the handicap placed upon him.

There was a THUD! sort of noise and Freddy felt the pain of a skate clad foot stabbing into him. By this time, the blindness had eased away, and Freddy could see again.

Already peeved by his current situation of popping in and out of eras, Freddy prepared to take out his rage on the fool who had dared to cross him. Just as he was about to gut the young man, who lay cowering on the floor at the sight of Freddy's rage, familiar lyrics floated from the stereo:

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified,

Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side…"

As soon as the first note hit the atmosphere, Freddy cringed. He had LOATHED this song from the moment it had come out. As for the man sprawled upon the ground, the song empowered him, giving him the courage to skate away, singing as he went along.  "I will survive, for as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive…"

"I don't think so." Freddy muttered, not one to give leeway to those who had enraged the nightmare king. And so he attempted to give chase. I say, "attempted" because, when he took his first step, he fell flat on his face.

"Oh no." Freddy, horrified, came to realize his environment of the moment: a roller rink. He also gained the knowledge that he was wearing roller skates, as evident by his sudden stumble.

The seventies were Freddy's least favorite years of the past; disco music and roller rinks were just two of his major annoyances. There were countless other aspects about the era he particularly hated; afros for example. He could never, nor would he ever, understand the point of them; to him, they were the mullets of the seventies generation.

He had hit his head pretty hard, and so to check for any damage, Freddy put his hands (which, he noted, were claw free) to his head. What he discovered was the stuff of his nightmares; he had a 'fro. Simply put, he swore more loudly and vulgar than he had ever had sworn before. He pulled, and he tugged, but his hair would not budge.

And then he looked down, and saw he was completely transformed from his Christmas themed sweater and dirt ridden pants; he found himself garbed in a sparkly cerulean leisure suit. This, along with the afro nesting mockingly upon his head, was tragedy for the child coveting demon.

And then it dawned on him; he was a white man. With an afro, wearing a leisure suit. I must look like Bozo… Freddy paled drastically, just before passing out yet again at the very thought.

~*~Hours later~*~

Freddy woke up to find his afro gone; thank Satan. He was lying on some sort of a divan, one of sultry colors and sweet comfort. This left Freddy even more confused than he already was; how'd he get from that hell-hole of a roller rink to this place? He wanted to suppose it was "Maeve", but he supposed he'd done enough supposing for one day.

"Where the hell am I now?" He pondered, glancing suspiciously at his new surroundings. It appeared he was inside a manor; one that had been abandoned, but still looked lived in. Freddy was seriously lost.

"Ah. He's awake." Drawled a scrawny, stoic type of man dressed, presumably as the butler. Walking along side him was a woman of puffy scarlet hair, so much so it looked to be an afro. Freddy shuddered at the very thought. Afro…evillllll……

"Master will be with you in just a moment." The woman spoke as she pulled Freddy up from his furled position. "As for now, we have company. Won't you join us?"

"Who the fuck are you people?!? Where the fuck am I?" Freddy was pretty pissed, and he wanted answers NOW.

"Calm down sir. This is Magenta." The man answered, gesturing to his female companion. "And I am Riff Raff. And you are here at the Frankenfurter manor."

"You seem a little…uptight. We must get you to unwind." Magenta shared a look with Riff Raff, one that Freddy saw, and alerted his caution among these outlandish people. Grabbing both his hands (his bladed glove still missing), the two servants led their "guest" into a rather large room, looking like it could be the parlor. Within the room stood dozens of women? Or were they men? Freddy honestly couldn't make heads or tails of it; they were dressed mostly in fish nets, and other type of hooker wear.

As soon as his first footstep tapped the hollow floor, whispers began to tauntingly dance around. "He's cute." The words entered Freddy's hearing, and he could instantly tell that it was a male. Freddy shuddered at the prospect of that information.

"Hey!  Is this yours?" Freddy twisted around to see a young woman, dressed as all the rest of those weirdoes, holding out his famed bladed glove. What struck Freddy the most about this girl was her hair, or, rather, her lack of it. What little hair she did own was colored neon orange, more of neon pink at second glance. The disturbing part was, was that it reminded Freddy of a certain pop icon from a later decade…

Cyndi Lauper…Argh. He shuddered, thinking back to the annoyance of her songs. Don't think of it…Don't… "Girls just wanna have fun, o girls just wanna have fun." "Goddammit." He muttered under his breath, irritated that his own analogy stirred up lyrics he had NEVER wanted to hear again.

"Hello? I asked if this was yours." She spoke again. Freddy seized the glove from her, cradling it as his own child. "Oo…kinky." She giggled, flirtatiously winking at him as she walked away.

"You're actually quite lucky; you've awoken in time for one of Master's special affairs." Magenta told Freddy as she walked past.

"How lucky of me." He murmured, not knowing what was coming up next.

"You're lucky, I'm lucky, we're ALL lucky." Magenta spun around, as music began to seep in through out the room.

"It's astounding,

Time is fleeting,

Madness takes its toll

But listen closely

Not for very much longer

I've got to keep control."

Riff Raff began the melody, as Magenta gave him an odd sort of signal, confusing Freddy all the while. Riff Raff continued on, starting in on some fantastical dance, grabbing Freddy and forcing him to dance as well.

"You psychopath! You idiotic asshole! Do you have any-" But Freddy lost his protests among the excited cries of the crowd, as Riff Raff continued his verse.

"I remember doing the time warp."

Freddy tried his best to escape, but it was to no avail.

"Drinking these moments when

The blackness would hit me."

Freddy, dancing against his will saw Magenta over in the corner, simply rocking, looking as if she were getting off on this song. Frightened, Freddy again attempted to threaten his captor, but of course it made no difference.

"And the void would be calling."

It was to Freddy's relief that he was let go, as Riff Raff went off and opened a set of doors labeled "Ball Room", bringing him into yet another room, this one filled with even more transvestite beings. Looking up at a bright banner, Freddy learned that it was the annual Transylvanian Convention, a gathering of all the freaks in this world that happened once every year.

The guests are moved by Riff Raff's start, and began to dance, pulling Freddy into their tide, forcing him to dance yet again.

"Let's do the time warp again!"

*Random Pause*

"Let's do the time warp again!"

Suddenly, the scene cuts to the author, sitting innocently enough at her computer. She too, decides to join in the fun and torture Freddy.

"It's just a jump to the left."

Back in the ball room, Freddy found himself jumping along with the guests, wanting very badly to slice and dice his way home.

"And a step to the right-right-right-right-right."

Again, Freddy found himself doing as the song commanded, unaware that he was now dressed in a leather halter-top, leather hot pants, and fishnets.

Meanwhile, back in the computer room of the author, she finds herself joyously singing the next line.

"With your hands on your hips."

Back at the manor, Freddy, to his horror, places his hands upon his hips along with everyone else. He is helpless to do anything more than obey the song.

Meanwhile, the guests are ecstatic, loosing themselves in the moment.

"You bring your knees in tight

But it's the pelvic thrust

That will really drive you insane."

Freddy thrust his pelvis, blissfully ignorant to the fact that he is doing so dressed as a prostitute.

"Let's do the time warp again!"

Freddy, exhausted from the stress he had been put through throughout the day, collapsed, unable to go on…

Authors Notes: I'm sorry I didn't parody the entire "Time Warp", but I had to stop there, otherwise I'd have ended up parodying the entirety of RHPS. But it was fun to put Freddy in transvestite clothing. ^_^

BTW~ I was watching "Freddy vs. Jason" the other day, when I found out that the stoner dude's name was Free Bird. I had no idea of it at the time I was writing Chapter 4. Anyway, I found it amusing. ^_^

Next Chapter, the 80s! My favorite decade. In fact, I might just write two chapters on the subject!!!