Chapter 10:
Aftershocks
Same day. Around 9 PM.
[Takeru]
[Recommended Music: Tristam, Diablo.]
A bump in the road jerks me towards the window, almost hitting myself against it. The shaking reiterates itself as the vehicle continues along the stream of traffic, through the cracked neighborhood, through the erratic lack of illumination, what has come undone.
This side of the city doesn't seem to have been as badly hit as the commercial district was, there are only a few broken power lines, some cracked glasses here and there, and I can count the amount of lightposts fallen with my hands.
Still, from what I could hear in the park while I lent a hand with first aid, there are a few zones with many collapsed buildings, as many fallen lightposts as there were near the station. As if the amount of injured civilians wasn't enough, the collateral damage is rather huge for this side.
Sighing while looking away from the scarred visage beyond the window, the pit in my stomach doesn't retreat. The steadfast grip on my arm only enhances it, by those anxious lines in her features it flares even stronger. Brushing Sumika's hair, she squirms a bit, softening her hold yet not dulling the contortion in her sleeping expression.
…Sorry. Forcing her to tend to Mikoto only served to shock her further than she already was, when I should have tried to shield her from the disaster. Silent and frozen in place, she remained slouched on the floor while we were in the park, crying, and crying, and crying. At the least, she calmed down enough to sleep as we got in the bus.
A low rumble runs through my legs, mechanical noises announce the deceleration of our ride. An officer turns back from the wheel, telling us that we arrived at the stop for our neighborhood. Soon after, a few of the civvies start to stand and walk to the exit while I try and shake Sumika, meeting a stronger hold, a muffled groan and an even more tense expression.
"Hey… Hey, wake up."
"Mmgh… Huh? Take… ru-chan?"
"We're home," I nod at her, rubbing the back of her head. "Come on, can you stand?"
Sluggishly nodding, she undoes the lock on my arm. Trying to stand, supported by my small hold of her shoulders, as if shrugging of a cocoon she starts to snail-drag herself to the exit. As she silently goes down, I stop and thank the officers, who return a slow, delayed nod behind a battered expression which pales like Kasumi's.
Once down, a cold light showers over me, a small stab pikes at me when the night wind howls through the demolition.
A fallen swing cries as it sways in apathy, quite a few trees collapsed remain indifferent to the night wind, the sand box remains buried under a trunk as little threads of sand leak upon the rustle of the gale, the bulletin board further in broken in twain finally loses its paper, that scatters away in a frenzy to the skies as if relieved to depart from the place. Pee Park's left in tatters, almost like it was on the other side.
So this place, too, has been lost to the leaks, huh… For such a striking similarity to be present, can I truly keep saying this is all a coincidence?
"-so please do not dally and return to your homes as soon as possible," an officer tells to the group at large, detailing a few safe routes. "If your residence has suffered damage, please cooperate with the relief effort teams and seek asylum in the nearest shelter. The officers will guide you to-" she continues informing the emergency protocol, and encouraging us to not idle by on the street in case of any aftershocks.
Giving us all a nod, the woman returns to the bus, to the duty they must still see through, the rest of the civvies that need escorting to another location of the district.
As the vehicle departs with a low rumble, the others begin to gradually scatter in all directions towards their homes. Yet Sumika remains in place, still, staring at the ground. Not even moving as the wind runs circles on us, trying to filter the chilly air of the night into our skin.
"Sumika, hey?"
"…The park is in ruins," she barely says, still unmoving.
"Yeah…"
"Even after Meiya-san had it remodeled when she left school, too."
"…There's nothing to do about it, right? At least it doesn't seem like anyone got hurt here," I sigh, compacting my shoulders and breath while scanning the area, thankful to not find any white outlines or dark red spots on the ground.
And yet Sumika still doesn't move, not even to rub her arms under the cold night, to blink. Simply standing there, back tilted down, gaze further below, a stray slumped by the side of the street, unmoving in apathy. Before it stops moving for good. Just as she looked during the tuning, absent and frozen, probably screaming her lungs out within.
Pulling at her hand, holding it, I take one step forward. "Come on. Let's go home."
"…Our houses are still safe, right?"
"Huh?"
"T-They won't be… crumbled over or anything, right?"
"Gulp…What are you saying? Why- Why would you think that? Everything will be fine," I state, squeezing her hand. Propelling it forward, I look into the rising dark hole in her eyes. She barely returns a nod, a minimal hum.
Saying nothing as we walk, as desolate as the beginning of ruins is her face. Drying my mouth over and over, the pull in my fingers begs for me to decelerate, the cold vicegrip on my neck when seeing sunken houses or wailing people in abundant bandages spurs me to stomp faster, faster.
Like a mad chimera, the neighborhood seems to even mirror my scarce recollections of how the town looked over there. While the sirens and screams are only echoes in the distance, a few pairs of people remain petrified by the ruins, awaiting the relief efforts to retrieve whoever remains below rubble, or any certainty of safety in the case of those few kids that are slumped on the floor, all on their own, vacantly staring at the collapse that their homes have become.
…All because I didn't act with this possibility in mind. Even if the reactor might not have been available… there should have been something I could have done to prevent this.
In silence we keep walking, walking through the lights that flicker up above, around the warded off properties that caved to the quake. Having to spur Sumika to move, to not stare at those who wait besides the rubble, who fight the restraining hold of the crew that has to take them to a shelter. Clamping up my ears, lips and throat, swallowing the acid concoction that brews inside, I can only make haste, eyes on the ground.
Yet as we get closer to our street, there's a large shadow cast over it. A rise in the echoes, a discernible group in the distance. Amidst the low light available, a small copse of shadows covers the middle of the street, a large group of workers seeming to be dealing with another- Wait a second.
…That's exactly where we live, isn't it?
"…Takeru-chan? Hey, what's wrong? Hm? Is that…"
If there is another parallel… My house was fine over there, save for some minimal damage to my room and the kitchen. However, if there's a group of relief workers right there on the street, shouting loudly enough to reach us here on the crossroad-
Twitching as a shadow rushes forward on the corner of my eyes, I'm left frozen as Sumika fires off towards the group, towards our houses. Not decelerating as I shout and give chase, keeping a lead despite stumbling, dropping her purse in the manic haste of her steps.
Noticing her approach, one of the workers spreads his arms over to the sides. "This area is dangerous, please do not-"
"Get away! This is my house!" she wails, thrashing against the restrain the people pull over her.
Overpowered by numbers, she still somehow manages to edge closer towards the collapse… the collapse that is all to similar to what had been of her house on the other side, minus the fallen Gekishin.
"Miss, please calm down! It's dangerous to approach the site!" one requests, pulling at an arm, failing to meet any impact for the effort.
"Let me go! Where are- Where are my parents?!"
"Sumika, calm down! There may be wires or broken gas pipes!" I beg, out of breath as I catch up. She freezes, looking back, staggering away from the binding seal of the workers.
"I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask for your identifications," an old man, who seems to be the leader of this group, requests in a searing frown.
"Did you find anybody here?!" Sumika asks, stitching some syllables together.
The man takes one careful step back, no longer hiding the blade within the posture. "Your identifications, if you'd be so kind."
"Here," I take out my wallet, then rummage through Sumika's purse to find hers. Showing them our documents, the man douses half the fire.
"I see… In any case, I will have to ask of you to leave this site to my crew and direct yourselves to the nearest shelter."
"Wait a moment, where are my parents?" she asks, again stepping forward, clutching at her clothes.
"Hopefully not under the rubble," the man dares to spit out, shrugging us off, waving to the street. "Come on, off you go. You're interfering with our work."
"B-But-"
"Sumika, please," lightly grasping her hand and pulling a bit, failing to meet the scars for eyes, I grimace to the floor, "let's give them some space, they need to get back to work. If they're trapped under the rubble, we're just getting in the way."
"…Under the- What?" her lips quiver, fail to close, as she gazes at the crumbled remnants, unblinking.
"Sigh… Enough drama, get off our case now! The house next door should be safe, we'll call for you if we find any relatives of yours."
The poor choice of words causes Sumika to glare, shiver, the man takes half a step back. Muffled absence of air comes out of her as I pat her shoulder, glaring at the asshole who tries and stand stiff, to scare us off with the taller stature, the darkening glare. You're lucky I'm only a civilian on this side. It's always the same with these assholes… Can't spare even some empathy, now of all times?
A small creak runs through the air, followed by a shout and a stampede of dust towards us. "Takeru, Sumika-chan!" mom runs our way, paling harder than Kasumi. "Oh my god, where have you been?! Why didn't you answer your phone?!"
"I-I didn't have signal, mom. But we're fine, don't worry," I softly say, holding the blaze of a gaze at bay as she scans us both, arms tightly knotted together.
"If you could, take these kids to your house, ma'am. They're interfering with our work," the man states, sighing hard. Only to flinch as mom drives murder into him, what before paled now ignited to the brim.
"Excuse me? All the shouting I heard just now was you berating them?"
"The miss here was idiotic enough to try and approach the site, I was only doing what anyone would," the man counters, raising a shield, chin and spikes.
"Have you no heart? The girl came back home to find this!" she shrieks, smacking the hand backwards to point at the disaster.
"And they're getting in the way, as you are now. The lad here said it first," he groans, pointing at me with his jaw, "we have not yet ascertained whether there is a gas leak or not. If anything happens to you civvies, it's us who pay for it!"
"Why, you damn-"
"Mom, it's fine," I sigh, waving down to douse the chained blaze. "Let's just get inside, please," wrapping an arm around Sumika's shoulder, the cold quiver spreads into me.
"Sigh… You're right. Come on, let's-"
"S-Sir!" one of the workers stumbles back away from the rocks, sweating a bit. "I believe we found a body!"
"…A body?" Sumika whispers, under her breath, as she seems to twitch and convulse in my hold.
Too late to tighten it, she slips away, tackling the man who came to deliver the report, dashing towards the rocks, windmill smacking the arms that tried to restrain her.
"Goddammit with this girl!" the leader fumes, pinching his nose.
"I'll go get her back," I shout back at them, as the man spits more venomous curses, arguing with mom.
The other workers, however, do not take antagonistic postures. All the contrary, they seem to be made out of paper, paper atop a candle. Some wring their hands, others just sigh and continue their job on other sectors. The one that's closer to Sumika looks at me, nibbling at her bottom lip while shaking her head, veiling her sight tightly afterwards while resting the shovel into the ground.
And with only the distant sirens and the small argument of the leader and mom rebounding through the wind, pieces of concrete or wood are sent to greet the stars, roll down to the street. Still employing windmill slams on the area, as she was when suffering an overload.
"…Sumika?"
No acknowledgment, besides the rising quake in her whole being. She keeps digging, groaning, bending her nails when meeting a too large remnant.
Only to stop cold.
To gasp and lean further below.
Towards the bent, bruised hand that claws at the demolition from under the. As if mimic patterns of thunders, the fingers. A dark red cloud spreads through the skin, from the tip of the nails. Stiff, silent, cold, dead.
Clawing at my jaw, turning my hand into an iron maiden, holding my breath hostage is all that keeps my insides still, unlike Sumika who cannot fight the impulse to let it all go.
…How many families did I ruin by not leaving as fast as I could?
How many kids are suffering as Sumika now because of my complacence?
"For this world, you're worse than the BETA!"
I guess you were right, Sensei. This pit in my stomach that burns and spreads, the constriction on my neck, down to my lungs as it slithers towards my heart, how many others are now subjected to such shit or worse?
Hesitantly crouching besides, I tap a shoulder.
She remains shivering, eyes unmoving from that hand.
Bringing her to me, she doesn't fight back, doesn't react and remains wheezing amidst slow tears, a broken turbine exhaling smoke and blaze.
Softly guiding both of her hands to cover her mouth while patting her back, so that she doesn't hyperventilate, it takes a few seconds for her to even restore a normal rhythm to the breaths, gasping for dear life as if she had just risen to the surface from under the waves. Shivering, and quivering, convulsing and glitching, coughs and cries blend and mix as if electrocuted.
Headpats do nothing to calm down the asphyxiation, the chokes she endures, nor the needles that by this all dig into me when her cries rise.
"This is a nightmare… It- It has to be. Let me wake up… A-Aahhh…" folding into my arms, she starts crying, simply crying it all out.
"…I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
I'm sorry, Sumika, Haruna-san, Isamu-san.
If anyone had to die… If anyone should have paid the cost to avoid this madness to become reality…
It should have been me.
If someone had to suffer through the leaks, I would- I should be the most obvious target. For it would be just retribution, for not having done enough for my comrades during the Kashgar raid, for abandoning Kasumi and Sensei to their luck over there.
But, until the day I can find an answer to mend this damage, I can't, I won't sit around moping again. To let guilt fester and tilt me would be the worst thing I could ever do. To sit on my laurels and brush this off as a coincidence, to keep enjoying a leisurely life…
I don't deserve that, when my complacence did so much harm to so many innocents.
I knew this could happen. And I did nothing to prevent it, simply enjoyed the grace period I was lucky enough to get.
So I cannot cave in, because she needs me to support her now that the entire firmament collapsed on her head, just as she did when I ran away. Even if back then that sent her to a horrible fate, even if this disaster may very well be on my hands.
Inhaling sharply, I bite on my inner cheeks. "…C-Come on, Sumika. Let's get to my house. There's… nothing we can do," I ask, pulling at her shoulders, slowly rising to my feet.
She slips through my fingertips, flopping back to her knees, hugging her own arms. "It's all a bad dream," she mumbles under her breath, shaking her head. "It's all a nightmare, right? I'll wake up any second now, and you'll tell me I'm being an idiot for imagining such a thing, right? Right?!" she begs, dampness overflowing her eyelids, frail as porcelain.
And yet, I can do nothing but smash her hope away.
"…I-I'm sorry."
Again, subtly shaking her head. Again, slowly the tears course through her jaw. Again, she bites at her lips, crushes her own forearms like whenever the berserk attacks happened. Only this time, there is no bloody murder. Only wails and rejection slither under the roots of her voice, a brush of a new moon night settling in within both eyes.
Hugging her shoulders and slowly pulling her weight up, she falls onto me, unresponsive.
"I'm sorry."
She returns the hold, buried in my chest, shaking, quivering. One tentative step, she remains in place. Two and three, she hiccups when trying to follow, when resting and supporting herself on my arm. And slowly, slowly, we walk down from the rubble, back to the street.
"…I suppose she confirmed the identity of-"
I glare at the asshole, eyes wide and unblinking. He dares to frown, but scoffs then spits, and simply walks away, admonishing his crew.
Mom huddles closer, trying to pat Sumika's head, but I grimace and shake a no. Sharing a silent nod, we simply enter the house.
Some moments later.
(Inside the Shirogane Residence.)
"-and then I lent a hand to tend to the wounded. Sumika simply… sat down and waited for everything to calm down," I let out, shaking my head, emptying a glass of water and resting it on the table.
"I… My god," mom buries her face under her hands, extending an exhalation. "Poor girl… Do you think she'll make it?"
"…I did all I could, the tourniquets should have allowed Miki to make it to the hospital."
"Yes, I suppose…" deflating even more, arms folding, rubbing her forearms, she says nothing for a while.
Pulling his hair back, dad's eyes tightly veil themselves. "I don't know what it says about me, that being relieved that you two weren't injured in such a way is what came in my mind first instead of worrying for that girl. Sigh…"
"Come on, Dad… It's just normal, things could have been much worse," I offer, patting his forearm.
As horrible as this is, at least I could react. I could try and mend Miki's and Mikoto's injuries, lend a hand in the park. If I had died during the quake, and this truly was caused by a leak, this world may have truly been locked into a path to certain ruin.
"We can only pray for everything to settle down, for them to recover safely," shrugging, I rest my arms on the table, a void spawning where my lungs should be. "That's all… all we can do."
Sighing as he returns himself upright, Dad cannot fully clear the ashes off his face. "Yeah, I suppose… Still, I'm proud of you, Takeru. To have acted so swiftly amidst that chaos, it was a great deed," giving a firm nod, a small smile raises along. "I didn't knew you had learned to do first aid, though."
"It was just the basics, is all. Anyone could have done it."
And if Mikoto had been in my place, she would have been able to more quickly remove the shards of glass, she wouldn't have hesitated or wasted any second on that. First aid supplies would always be in her purse, unlike me that still only carry the minimal stuff. On the things that matter the most, as always, I'm never enough.
"Still, you did get injured, right?" Mom asks, leaning forward to tap my lower lip. "It's still swollen. Doesn't it hurt?"
"…I'm fine, I can take this little," shaking my head, I sigh and look away. Compared to what all three of them are going through, the slight roots of burn in between my teeth are nothing. With what face would I complain, when I am the cause of this disaster, most likely. There is- "Ow! M-Mom, let go of my ear!"
"Shush, you. Open that mouth, let me see the injury."
"I'm telling you, I am fine."
"Yeah, and I'm a three-headed monkey. Open up," she orders with a searing frown, lightly pulling at my bottom lip.
I seek Dad's eyes, and while at first he seems to be chuckling a sharp glare from Mom has him gulping, solidifying into a gargoyle to stare menacingly at me, or trying to. Sighing and shrugging, I part my lips, closing an eye by reflect as her pokes burn, a fissure swirling from my palate through to the back end of my head.
"Luckily, it seems you didn't splinter your teeth or anything. I'll go get the ointment, we should have some for the lip at the least."
"I'm fine, for real. I don't need-"
"Yeah, yeah, I heard you already," she throws me a narrow sideglance, folding her arms, before directing herself towards the bathroom.
"Sigh… What's with her? This is just a scratch, anyways." I've received worse bruises within a cockpit, for fuck's sake.
"Come on," Dad shrugs, slowly tapping the table, "you know how she is. And anyways, you shouldn't let that rest just because it doesn't hurt that much now, Takeru."
"…It doesn't even hurt enough to warrant such concern, for real. She's overreacting."
"Son," sobering up, looking straight ahead, Dad says nothing for a second. "I know you usually like to play it cool and stay strong, but you don't have to keep your guard up anymore," he says, eyes squinting as he pats my shoulder. "You're already safe here, it's okay," nodding once, he then stands to go warm some more water.
Yet I swallow a sigh, staring at my hands while rekindling the burning within my lips, my stomach. Because no, we are not safe yet. At all.
Relaxing back for a bit, looking around at least lets me erode the pressure out. A small mercy, our house somehow was spared of the damage. Can't get why, though. My room on the other side was wrecked, and that should also ripple back into this side. Of course, I could keep saying this was a coincidence, but the state of Sumika's house… I could practically see the fallen Gekishin overlaid atop the crumbled remains.
Sighing, looking to the room further in, the only solace in this is that I managed to reach Sumika back then. If she and the others had been smashed by the lightpost…
Shuddering in a cold embrace, coughing on acids and bile, a fast shake of my head keeps the echoes and images from resurfacing, almost. I don't know what I'd had done then, from then on, if all of them ended up… dead.
But I can't cave in. Can't fall down and again start on the 'oh, poor me' train of thought. Back then, Sensei had a forewarning from the XO to make some prepwork on the microwave teleporter. Now we don't. And I can't hold back now that the worst has come to pass…
…Who knows if Kei and Chizuru are alright as of now? What of Meiya? The Valkyries? Marimo-chan? No, screw the small scale, what of Kashgar and Athabasca? Hell, Sadogashima even. Honestly, the island is fucked ten ways to Sunday and Monday for an entire year. If it isn't the ripple of the XG exploding, it's the massacre of Iceberg that comes here. Or, you know, the actual BETA invasion.
The more time I waste… the worse things might get. Pushing off my burdens and relaxing… is something I cannot allow myself to-
"Here," mom calls out, extending a small case, one of the many creams she buys. "Put some in your fingers and rub it over your lip," she tells, placing it on the table and folding her arms. Staring, and staring, and staring until I sigh and open the thing.
While I tend to my small injury, mom goes to check on Sumika. Quickly returning, sighing and almost limping herself, she crashes onto a chair as hard as I did during my failure in the XM3 trials. Again getting close to inspect my treatment of the injured lip, she finally sighs and dispels the tide of tension that washed over her face. In slow motion, she grabs the remote and turns on the TV as Dad comes back with a cup of tea for each, and some muffins mom had baked earlier.
"-half the city has taken severe damage, with many important buildings collapsed," the reporter drones on, stoic and stiff as a gargoyle. "There's also a few locations where the electric service is not available. The municipal forces are currently bustling to both rescue any survivors and restore the basic services as fast as possible. The only hospital that hasn't taken serious damage is-"
The news continue to detail the status of the city, images taken from a copter filling the screen. It's obviously not as bad as the other world but this is still real bad for what we're used to here, I don't recall an earthquake doing this much damage on its own, without the repeated trembles that follow after one. Thank God nothing else is happening now, no tsunami alert or anything. But it might be a matter of time.
"-estimated amount of casualties is somewhere around a hundred. However, since all affected areas have yet to be thoroughly scoured, the number will surely continue to rise."
As the news remain detailing the state of the city, mom starts fixing us some simple dinner. Cracks continue to spawn in their complexions, shifting sands giving under their eyes, breaths and tone far more dead than Kasumi's. Dad simply rubs his temple, by a vicegrip slowly drinking the tea, saying not a word.
"Takeru, could you go see if Sumika-chan wants to eat?" Mom requests from the kitchen, barely raising her voice.
Nodding, I propel myself off the chair. Legs waver as if they had been asleep and turned off, small jolts rushing up with every step I take. So some air is kept inside, calming down my breaths as if submerged underwater, once I'm face to face with the door. Heartbeats poke at my ribs, folding my lips only causes an ember to flare in between them.
Knocking on the wood, a moment of silence passes and extends with not as much as a sound coming from the other side.
"Sumika, dinner's ready. Would you like some?"
…No answer, no matter how long I wait.
I don't think forcing her to come out is a good idea, not after all she had to see. It's actually odd that I'm keeping it together as good as I am. Stomach's turning and I feel like puking, but there's only the reflex. The chains in my abdomen cackle as if tempting to let loose, but there's only a void, an abyss inside. Only ashen charcoal and nothing with which to ignite anything, only those cold hands poking at me.
And remembering the last moments of Ouka, having been the one to survive… being possibly the cause behind this mess… I've no right to force her out. Maybe I should bring the food to her, give Sumika the alone time she obviously needs now.
As my feet turn around, a faint echo filters through the door, stabbing at my heart. Sobbing. Hiccups. More of those choking grunts.
Gradually opening the door, the hunched over shape enters my sight. Simply sitting over the futon, still giving herself the tightest hug one possibly could. A self-devouring iron maiden, almost. She looks so faint, as if she would vanish into the air when I stop looking. Sumika never looked so weak, ever.
Stepping in, again slowly crouching besides her, I tap a shoulder. "Want some food?"
She shakes her head in apathetic lag, not lifting her face from the burial site her arms have become.
Patting her hair, rubbing it in slow, long circles, I lower to a whisper. "If you need anything, just say the word, okay? We're here for you, Sumika."
As I motion to stand, a tender grasp pulls at my sleeve. Looking down, only that hand had moved, the rest of her remained underground, frozen behind bars. So I sit down again, bumping my shoulder on hers, placing my hand on that which silently pulled, entwining fingers.
Barely lifting the aimless gaze to nowhere in particular, in minute movements her lips begin to part. "You know, I've been getting better at making apple pies…"
"I know, the recent ones are your best samples so far," smiling, slightly closing my hand over hers, I edge closer.
"Dad said… He said I was almost as good as mom," a hiccup, choking forward, lips regressing like the tide on the shore. "He is… He w-was looking forward to tasting my last recipe in his birthday," no pats to her back, no circular rubs can dispel the crack under light kindling of her features as her weight falls on my shoulder. "Both were so happy I scored such good grades… T-They even said I might have been a late genius… But now," fingers dive into my palm, her own shakes all the more as her breaths turn shallow, rusted, clogged by smoke, "who's gonna tell me I'm a genius? Or make me some soup while I'm studying?"
"…We're still here for you, Sumika."
"But there's nothing left… T-There's only," another hiccup, a void of air she gags on until I pat her back a few times. "There's nothing, my house is- everything is-"
"That's not true," giving her a one-arm hug, by the grip her face falls on my chest, burying the sobs in it too. "Everything ain't over for you, Sumika."
"B-But my house-"
"Even if the whole firmament falls on you, you can always stand up again. You're still alive, and all the happiness Haruna-san and Isamu-san gave you still lives in you," gulping as both hands of her claw, pike at my chest, as my heartbeats knock in imitation, only acid do I feel in my mouth. "I understand how you must be feeling… completely empty, as if a cold hand had choked the life out of your heart. But even if right now you're in utter pain, you'll be able to stand again. To stand and make apple pies Isamu-san and Haruna-san would be proud of you for, to keep scoring nineties in every test."
"…I-I'm not that strong. I can't- I couldn't even help Yoroi-kun…" folding more onto my embrace, the little candle wavers in front of the gale. "You were trying so much to help Miki-san and I didn't- I couldn't-"
"I'm sorry," halting her spiel, my arm wraps a bit tighter, I rest my chin on her head. "I wasn't thinking on how you were feeling, that was my fault. So, it's okay if you want to stay alone here. But… please don't let the pain turn their memory into blight, Sumika."
"…How?" in a low creak, she asks. "How do I even… Everything's gone and I- I don't know what to… Ugh," again preyed upon by the choking, again tending to her back, Sumika keeps on folding upon herself.
Sighing the acidic frost out, enduring the small stabs and cuts the wails inflict, slowly I gulp and fail to stabilize my own breathing. So I hug softer, with both arms. "Life can be cruel, beating you over and over again when you least expect it," equally low I whisper, running a hand over her hair. Licking my lips, feeling them burn, air filters through clenched teeth and ignition sighs out. "But in the same way it can be kind, healing. You simply… need to give yourself enough time. Tomorrow will come, Sumika. The sun always rises back up, no matter how dark and cold the night gets. It's going to be okay, don't be afraid. Your life isn't over, and you ain't alone either."
As she wails, as she continues to stutter syllables, to bleed vowels and mumbles, it only reinforces the acid that rumbles inside, that comes up to my throat. Gagging on it, sealing it, chaining it down as those tender grips pull and pull at my shirt, I swallow back the blight, simply slumping onto the hug, simply sighing.
"Everything will be alright, assuredly. Everything will be fine, Sumika…"
Because I am here. And so long as I am still breathing I won't let whatever doom causality is trying to bring over here to ruin our lives again.
"So please…" I ask, wordlessly, rubbing her back.
She sniffs, looking up, shards of a mirror barely stitched together by whitening tape, quivering. Brushing her hair, I nod and pet her head.
Slowly, the cascades return in full force.
The wails break loose, rebounding off the walls.
Her nails pierce and find my flesh, almost tearing my shirt apart.
And yet, she keeps folding, compressed more and more, sinking further.
"I'm sorry…" for not taking action before things got to this point, for forcing you to tend to Mikoto without as much as checking you for injuries, for not acting faster despite knowing your house could have been demolished due to the leaks. "It's gonna be alright… E-Everything's gonna be alright, so please… please calm down…"
Rubbing her back, over and over, in circles, from left to right, and right to left, the glitching and spasms begin to dwindle, falling into a frozen petrification. And while her breathing lowers to stillness, her eyelids collapsing too, her hands do not let go.
Not for a single second, even as sleep spares her some mercy.
A/N: This is where this story will begin to deviate from its original form as Reversal's prologue. Also, where the wordcount on each entry will start to go up as well. The next three or so chapters will be on the longer end of the spectrum, and is where the bulk of the angst takes place.
Leaving this here for future readers that are going through this once the rest is posted, brace yourselves because the brakes are off and broken. Proceed with caution, overflowing amounts of angst inbound.
For any of my old readers though, how is the pacing coming out? While I've been tempted to join a few chapters to speed things up, I don't want to end up with large behemoths as I tended to post before even if a few are unavoidable. Part of me feels having a transition chapter here was necessary, but on the other I could see how this is 'unnecessary angst' as prior critiques have said about my writing.
Anyways, that's it for now. Since the entirety of the next 'section' has to be posted as a single chapter, the next update might take its time. Thanks for reading thus far. Stay safe.
Zuoriel
