HOPE A/N:
Okay peoples. I have to say that this is my first one-shot. Also my first angst. And my first YuGiOh fic.
I know I'm not all that talented like some authors I can mention like Kikoken or LoveoftheStoriesAnime in the YuGiOh section, so please don't brutally attack me with Flames. If you do want to send one, I suggest you hint at it lightly, or so. Please!?
I've already got Chapter 10 for "Ultimates and Chosen" done, but my computer sent it somewhere, so I like have to try and get it back. Look out for my new BeyBlade fic that will be coming out soon. It's almost complete. It titled," Our Secret Love".
Okay, um... before I add any new chappies to any fic, I need at least five reviews. That is for every fic that I write, including one-shots. Please read and review. Thanks!
HOPE: Thanks for actually reading this fic. R&R! Tell me what you think.
DISCLAIMER:
I do not own YuGiOh, or Seto Kaiba, or Shizuka Jounichi. Shizuru Kaiba though, is a made up character.
If I did own Seto, he'd probaly be with me. Honda, Anzu, Yuugi, Mutt-Face, Mai, and Uncle Mokuba don't belong to me either.
MOVING ON:
A YuGiOh Angst Fic
She's gone.
It's all my fault.
She's gone, because of me. I can't even tell her how sorry I am.
She cared for me, loved me, believed in me.
Before her, I was nothing. I owe it all to her.
I pushed her away many times, and yet, she still waited.
I used to think that this was a waste of my time, the life itself was a waste.
I even thought about committing suicide, you know.
Just one little flick of a blade against both wrists.
And then I wouldn't be a problem.
Don't think I haven't heard.
All those rumors about me. All the whispers behind my back, I know.
The mean, hurtful things said about me. Oh yes. The cold heartless asshole I am said to be.
And she was different. She didn't believe those nasty, fucking rumors.
She listened to me, talked with me, helped me.
She opened my eyes for me, she made me realize there is more to life than anger, and hate.
She awoke me from my deep slumber in the dark abyss of shadows.
It was then, that I knew I loved her.
Dammnit!
It wasn't supposed to be this way. She wasn't supposed to die! She was supposed to live, here, with me.
How could I have not seen, that this would happen? Why did I push her so?
I turned my back on her, and yet she still waited. Why? Why did she wait for someone like me?
Especially like me.
Whatever hope there was, died. It died with her.
HOPE? HOPE? HOPE?
I laugh. Hope? Hope isn't something for me. Hope doesn't exist for bastards like me.
Not for Kaiba Seto anyway.
Fuck this!
Dammnt to all hells.
A growl escaped from my lips.
I could still remember her.
Her beautiful smile, eyes, hair.
I can still remember her scent. Of jasmines and lillies always.
Whispers of her name echo in my ear. Her voice it haunts, my sanity. Her face lives in my dreams.
It didn't have to end like this.
She could have still been here. With me. With us.
Us. As in myself, and our lovely daughter. Shizuru. Kaiba Shizuru.
" It's all my fault........"
She could have still been here, with us, her dimwit of a brother and Yuugi , and all her little friends.
But no, I had to drive her there. To death.
" I'm sorry. Forgive me......" I whispered. Tears flew down my pale cheek, I didn't care.
My knees wobbled. I fell to the ground, the soft earth, wanting to be with her.
My fingers found their way, lacing them through the dirt. My eyes sprung tears. Memories flooded back.
FLASHBACK
" HOW COULD YOU!? DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO EXPLAIN! I WASTED MY TIME WITH YOU!" a voice screamed.
A lovely woman with auburn hair faced the man, tears clinging to her face.
" Seto, I di-"
The door slammed in her face. A whisper culd be heard over the thick wood.
" I hate you."
Those words brought the brown-eyed woman to a state of despair.
She re-wrapped the coat around her, and turned her back.
" It's okay Seto, I forgive you. I will give you time. I will wait for you my love."
And with that last cry into the night, the woman left the mansion.
Hours later, the woman still hadn't returned.
The doorbell rang, the butler answered it.
An officer in a uniform appeared.
" I would like to speak with Kaiba-san, please."
The so called Kaiba-san, appeared, demanding to know what the matter was.
" I am sorry, sir. But your wife, died in a car accident." The officer stated. His eyes held
sympathy, and sadness.
The words rang throughout the mind of the man. Pain shackled his body, as he dropped
to his knees.
A little girl came running, down the hall.
Her little auburn curls, and blue eyes were full of question.
" Daddy?"
The man held her close, hugging her, he whispered into her ear.
" NO!!!!" The girl withdrew, and rocked back and forth in her father's embrace, crying all the while.
The man was too limp to cry, or do anything. All he did was rock back and forth, calming his daughter.
Memories of a time from earlier in the night, flowed through his eyes.
The powerful man regretted it. He regretted the last few moments with his love.
" Um, Kaiba-san, I would like to say I am sorry. Your wife lived long enough to tell me that she loved you."
Kaiba nodded, fearing his voice would betray him of any emotion.
" And to give you this."
A silver chain, dangled from the officer's fingers. It was a silver locket, with an emerald heart.
The name 'Shizuka,' was engraved on it.
Without speaking, Kaiba snatched the little locket, holding it close to his heart.
He uttered the same words over and over and over again.
" I'm sorry....... I'm sorry.........It's all my fault.........Shiz..................
END FLASHBACK
I cried, unconsiously. My lips culred into a bitter snarl.
If I had realized she was going on all those trips because of my birthday, then......................
How could I suspect that she was even cheating!?
Damn me and my suspicions.
" Shizuka, what have I done?"
I doubted her trust. And the last thing I ever said to her was, " I hate you."
What made her love me then?
What made her give her love to me?
Despit all mutt face's efforts, she still loved me.
Muttface.
The loser.
He moved on. Even married that Mai girl .
He didn't care about her did he?
No.
And her so called friends,
Yuugi who by the way is engaged to Anzu, whilst they are expecting their first child.
My brother, Mokuba, is dating that Rebecca girl.
Duke, who is a famous actor in England....
And Honda, who is a lawyer in the States, I think....................
They didn't even care! They only mourned for a day or two and got on with their lives!
Screw them!
They can rott in hell for all I care.
If they only knew...................
Knew?
Knew what?
That I thought she was having an affair? That I pushed her away? That I drove her to her death?
No. Not even mutt-face could suspect.
I laughed bitterly.
It seems like only yesterday that she would yell at me for calling her brother a mutt.
And yet, she didn't mind.
I sighed. Growling in frustration, I hugged the little marble slab. My heart shattered.
Nothing was left, nothing. Only my love for Shizuka and Shizuru remained.
Is this enough? Is it?
Maybe.
I'm not sane enough to do this. I can't possibly go on.
My mind embraced the thought of joining her, being with her.
That's how much I loved her.
Can I possibly live?
No.
But, I have to. She would want me too. To live and raise Shizuru. To move on.
But how can I? When I still love her? When I cannot forget her.
I drew out her locket from my coat pocket. I traced her name, remembering this gift I gave her.
Tears ran down my face, blurring my vision.
" Shizuka, I'm so sorry. Forgive me, for ever doubting you, us."
" I will love you forever, Shizuka. I will never forget you, wait for me. "
I murmured these last few words with my hands clasped around the locket.
I know she heard me. I know she'll wait. Like always.
I tried to speak, but no words escaped my throat.
Instead I closed my eyes, and pressed my lips upon her picture.
Her picture on the stone.
A hand rested on my shoulder. Shizuru.
The bitter, and cold air nipped at my skin. But that didn't matter. Not anymore.
I turned my attention to my little girl.
My ten year old daughter gazed at me with understanding.
" I love you Daddy."
Her small figure wrapped around me, with care,and love.
I accepted the little hug, and held her. I took Shizuka's locket and put it around Shizuru's slim neck.
My girl was growing up. She looked more and more like her mother everyday.
My heart hung with sadness, at my late wife not being able to watch our little girl grow up.
I discarded these feelings, in order to keep my emotions under control.
Smiling gently, I picked her up, and carried her with me to the limo.
She jumped in, tears trickling down her rosy cheek. A small whimper sounded.
I looked back at the quiet cemetary. A breeze lifted little petals that had fallen off the great blosson trees.
Taking a final glance for now, I noticed an odd sight.
A ghostly silhoutte framed around her grave.
A hand waved at me, with a smile.
I smiled back, gaining faith and hope once more.
Life filled back into me.
I knew the answer know.
I had to live. For her sake. For Shizuru's. For mine.
I got into the car and closed the door.
Shizuru was fingering the little silver chain&locket. I hugged her close.
" I love you too, my little princess."
She giggled softly, hugging me back. She animatedly talked all the way about her Uncle Mokuba......but.......
My mind was still on her.
Her spirit enveloped the little sceneary.
A ghastly glow surrounded her.
Her lips moved, uttering a sweet sound.
" I love you too Seto, I forgive you. I will wait for all eternity."
She smiled serenely as she traced the words etched on her little grave head.
An angel with golden wings, was binded with a heart.
KAIBA SHIZUKA
1977-2004
Loving Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, Friend
You are Entertwined within our Hearts Forver
" I will wait."
HOPE: So how was it?
YAMI: Heart-wrenching. sniffles
HOPE: Please RReview!
