Smudged tears On a face painted canvas
I want to show you how it feels
When through my words you can watch my life unreel
Beginning with laughing, happiness and contented smiles
That, decay and turn into ashes after a while
I slope down, deeper into a snare of rage and hate
To turn back to the light I know is just too late
Turning around endless roundabouts of confusing chaos
I tried to fight but all I won was loss
Numerous things have broken my heart
Not just boys either, life could be a start
Just to moan to my own painted reflection
Cause I know behind this face there is no deception
Who else would listen to a person of this much solace
Listen to my screams of, "get me out of this place"
So...
I sit down in front of a fucked up screen and listen to depression
Through lyrics and songs of miserable aggression
I am not alone I know that for sure
However to listen to other's problems I feel it's such a bore
Selfish I became when my heart turned cold
Via feeling so much torment I wish my soul could be sold
Deep inside
Are experiences I nervously hide
Only words on paper can I confide
Ashamed to be apart of what I call me
A fucked up girl because of reality
Blaming myself because of others misfortune
Blaming myself because I'll do everyone a favour if I disappear soon
Pity and rage is not what I want to receive from these words
Cause they mean sense to me, to you they may sound absurd
Reading on you may think I am some suicide freak
However it seems like such an easy option when you feel this weak
So as my opinions of my life now go back down below
I'll put on my smile and for a while won't let them show
So goodbye to the thoughts that silently break me
I'll see you tonight when you can summon my tears and once again be free...
