Disclaimer: See chapter one.

A/N: Goofy nonsense. Depending on your sense of humor, this chapter will be amusing or extremely boring.


Two Words

Legolas walked along the railing of the Black Pearl. Everybody seemed to have something to do or someone to talk to except him. The crew buzzed around, following planed schedules in sailing the ship. The hobbits were below deck, probably eating. Gandalf had magiced some water to hang before him and was creating different shapes while listening to Gimli tell him long stories of the dwarves. Legolas had heard them so many times he could recite them himself. Looking around, he spotted two people of interest. The elf hopped down from the railing and decided to interrupt Jack and Will flirting.

As he approached, he could hear their conversation.

"Maybe I should try that," Jack was saying.

"Never hesitate to try new things," Will said.

"Although," Jack lowered his voice, "I wouldn't mind a repeat of last night." He casually moved his knee between Will's thighs.

"Greetings," Legolas said louder then necessary.

Jack removed his knee to face Legolas. He leaned against the railing behind him to look him up and down. After inspection, Jack looked to Will and said bluntly: "He's hot."

Will scowled.

"You're hot," Legolas said to Jack.

"He's mine," Will glared.

Jack shrugged. "I'm his."

"He's hot," Legolas nodded towards Will.

Will lightened up. "You're hot."

"You're twins!" Jack realized.

"I'm hotter," Will said smugly.

"I agree," said Jack.

"He's yours," Legolas said matter-of-factly.

"I'm his," confirmed Will.

"I'm single!" Legolas announced.

"Not dwarf's?" asked Will.

"Not dwarf's," Legolas said.

"You're hot," said Jack.

"Love triangle?" Will suggested.

"I'm in!" agreed Legolas.

"Trial tonight," Will said.

"My bed?" Jack asked.

"Your bed," said Will.

"Whose bed?" Aragorn appeared.

"His bed," Legolas nodded towards Jack.

"You coming?" asked Jack checking out Aragorn.

"I'm taken," Aragorn said.

"You're taken?" Will asked.

"He's taken," said Legolas.

"By who?" asked Jack.

"My Queen," replied Aragorn.

"Your King?" asked Will.

"I'm King," said Aragorn.

"You're straight?" Jack asked.

"I'm bi," said Aragorn.

"You're bi?!" Legolas asked.

"I'm bi," said Aragorn.

"Shoulda known," said Legolas, disappointed.

"You're hot," Jack said to Aragorn.

"You're hot," Aragorn said to Jack.

"He's mine!" Will said.

"And mine," said Legolas.

"Three days," Will glared.

"Three days," Legolas agreed.

"Love triangle?" Aragorn questioned.

"Three days," said Jack.

"Trial tonight," said Legolas.

"My bed," said Jack.

"You coming?" Will asked.

"I'm married!" said Aragorn.

"He's loyal," sighed Legolas.

"He's boring," said Jack.

"Why are you all only using two words in a sentence?" Gimli interrupted, ruining the moment. "You can get more information," he spat, "if you use full sentences! Now us dwarves, you don't find such foolishness…" They stopped listening.

"Maybe we should start early," Will said.

"I like that idea," agreed Legolas.

"Well then," Jack straightened up, "me cabins just this way…"

It'll be a sticky night.


A/N: Up next the hobbits play I Never and/or Truth or Dare.