Title: Down
By: N170017
Feedback: Suggestions, criticism, full out yelling. I'd appreciate it all. If you hate it tell me and I'll stop, you like it, tell me and I'll continue. I don't know what will happen next so it's the reader's decision.
Note: Thanks for all the feedback. I swear I'll thank you all properly when my mouse stops dying and I can scroll down and actually see the names and stuff from the first time I posted (Also all you kind folk who've been kind enough to review this newly posted and fixed version). Well this chapter was a struggle to come up with but it's up as you all can see. Well to answer the question of which two this story pairs: Um well actually I don't know... I really don't. Tell me whom you'd like. I was thinking Travis (and Lily) but then I switched and thought Robbie (and Lily). I full 80ed and was like, "Oh but Ray and Lily are so cute together," and now I'm really not sure. So yeah now I don't know. As of right now I've been writing myself into a corner and with school (Please No, No more) I've had little to no time to write. Suggestions highly honored!
Robbie walked in with a stern expression. I could tell he had lots to say to me and none of it would be any fun to hear. "Hey Robbie," I said hopefully but his expression stayed the same, "Um how have you been um lately and all?"
What was Robbie's deal? What had I done to him? I mean I could understand Ray being pissed with the whole thing, but Robbie? I thought that Robbie was the friend that would listen to me. You know understand my dilemma. But the utter silence of him, when he should be happy that I was even alive at the moment was enough to tell me I should have just left myself with Travis and Ray. Maybe I was being a little pathetic, but hey I had a right. Robbie didn't smack into a wall and he hadn't been in here for, what had the doctor said? Three days? Yeah that was it.
"Yeah Hey," Robbie mumbled looking at the floor with just as much curiosity as the newest way to dunk a basketball. Boy did he love all those funky moves... Back to the point. "I've been you know sorting through things."
The way that Robbie answered me made my hope dry out, just as fast as it had come about. "So yeah," I added trying to fill up the awkward feeling in the room. I wanted to get to the real point of having Robbie in here but I couldn't seem to say it. How would I break the news? Robbie was already in a bad mood; my news might just pull him over the edge. Or maybe it would make him think I was a coward? I mean even if I had to go... and even if it was better overall. Robbie would always think that I should have stayed and dealt with the fact. Or maybe that was just how I felt? God I was so confused.
Robbie finally broke. "So why'd you ask for good 'ole reliable Robbie?" Robbie asked looking up and catching my eyes, "Thought it was funnier to lie to my face then Ray's?" he suggested looking past me at the wall and then back to me, "Lily I thought you wanted to be with Ray?" He questioned, the sarcasm long gone. I almost missed it... "Then you do this," Robbie looked around. "I knew there was something more with you and Travis but, I didn't think you'd act on it. Lily you're smarter than that and you knew it'd drive Ray crazy. I remember that day so clearly... every detail. I keep thinking that there's so much more I coulda done to fix this but then I keep thinking, WHY? I know just as much as you that this 'situation' could have been prevented. I mean even without me doing anything... but the sight of you in that hospital bed and all, just makes me feel so... so.... so bad. So I'll ask you again. Why'd you ask me in here? You coulda made anyone else feel worse. Why me, why now? Dam it Lily WHY? Just answer me that," Robbie finished asking the question that I hated to answer. My mom and him and even Ray, although when Ray asked it, it was more with his eyes. His pleading large brown eyes. How'd I get into this?
"Robbie..." I tried but his eyes stayed hard, "Fine you know what be that way, hate me. But just know this, I didn't want to make you feel bad, it's just that I have no one else to talk to-" Robbie cut me off with a snort.
"Lily you have no one to blame for that, but yourself."
"I know that, don't you think I know that? I knew what I was doing, I knew that things would never be the same," I exclaimed. "I mean not right as it happened, at least not in the front of my mind. It was way back; clouded with passion and untold thoughts and everything that makes this so hard. I can't make you understand and I know that, and you know that. I just want you to know that I really didn't ask for you now, to make you feel bad. Come on Robbie, you know me better than that, although you won't admit it," I said calmly but when I looked at Robbie he only glared. "I had to tell you, I had to tell someone," I tried for the last time but when Robbie only continued his glare, my voice escalated, "Robbie I'm moving. Tomorrow in fact. So feel any better. You won't have to look at me again. Never!" I almost shouted.
Robbie was shocked, and you could tell it on his face, "Lily I- I didn't know..."
"No you didn't, just leave me alone. Please just leave me alone," I pleaded turning on my side to face out the widow. Thank god it wasn't this side that was hurt. I would have had to face Robbie's stare.
Robbie stood there for a minuet before he said anything else, "I didn't mean to be so hard on you. I know that you were really hurt when this all went down but you moving won't make things right... Come on Lily you can't go. We need you here... I need you here."
"I don't have the choice," I said solemnly turning back onto my back. "My parents think it's best for me. I didn't think it was right... But maybe now..." I thought but shook it off quickly, "This is how it's gonna be. I'll miss everything here but that's not important. Everyone's mad at me here anyway. Sure out there," I pointed out the door, "Their all smiles and hugs and warm welcomings but I can tell how it's been effecting them. I can sense it. I'm leaving Robbie and I just needed you to know."
Robbie stood still for about two seconds before racing out the door. The door left ajar was enough for me to hear what was really going on in the outside world. "So what'd she say?" asked Ray.
"She's moving," Robbie grumbled. His voice almost trembled as he voiced my most resent horrible event.
"What do you mean she's moving? Lily can't move... Lily wouldn't, she couldn't her parents... they just... She can't-" Travis replied stumbling for the first time on his words. Travis at a loss for words... It almost made me laugh. Almost- I mean if it wasn't the worst thing to happen to me since this stupid Travis/Ray and me thing.
"Just like I said. Lily's parents are leaving. I don't know where. Lily's gonna lave us. Tomorrow," Robbie added his words sounding forced and jag-ged.
"But-" Ray started but stopped. He knew just as the other two did that he couldn't fight this. And to think if I had just done things differently... if I'd just not kissed Travis... I'd be staying here. Where I belonged. No Lily, don't do that to yourself. You saw what it did to Robbie. I tried to convince myself. Tears swelled in my eyes and streamed down my face. It was my own fault, my own doing. I was just facing the consequences. I just wanted to sleep now. Until my own d-day tomorrow but my life wasn't going to go my way today. Nothing that happened was going my way. I heard the footsteps, the whole six of them as the three guys, I'd known as my best friends walked in for most likely the finale good-bye.
Thanks so much for reading! N170017
