I did not get the reviews I wanted but someone put this story on their
favorites list, so I went ahead and did the next chapter.
Disclaimer:
Game Show Host: This is your final question, worth 1,000,000 dollars. Does the author of this story own Ruroni Kenshin?
Guest: Ummmmmmmmm...yes?
Host: Wrong! A large anvil that falls from nowhere squashes [the participant] Join us next time on Get it right...OR DIE! ,, (That's the vampire smiley)
Kenshin and Yahiko leave for the weapon master's room. Once again, their footsteps echo in the deserted metal hallways. They went around several twists and turns but finally came to a door that had the sign "Weapon Master" on the front.
"The weapon master is in charge of building all the guns and lasers that we need on this ship," Kenshin explained. "She make deatomatizing rays, atomification receptors, quantum phasers, Super-blow-em-up-3000's, and wooden guns, such as yours."
"Woah, explain this in English please," Yahiko suggested.
"Deatomatizing rays vaporise people. Atomification receptors are teleport devices. Quantum phasers stun people. Super-Blow-em-up-3000s blow stuff up. And wooden guns have no function whatsoever.
"Thanks for the confidence"
"No problem"
"What kind of gun do you have?"
"I have a super quantum deatomification blower upper 3000 ½!...But I don't believe in killing," he added belatedly.
"Cool"
"Tell me about it," Kenshin agreed. "Let's see what she's up to. Now, I understand you are to be her apprentice, right?"
"Yep"
Kenshin swiped his card and the doors open. They walked in. The room was white with lots of blueprints and notes tacked to the walls. A wooden sword was hanging near the back of the room. There was a desk with all kinds of machine parts scattered on it. In the middle there was a huge incomplete laser, over which a young woman with black hair was bending, mumbling darkly.
[The following segment has been edited by the People Against Swearing, Dammit!]
"F you, you stupid laser. My dead grandma is in better shape than you, you son of a B!" There was a small explosion and a puff of horrid smoke rised everywhere. "I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU FING PIECE OF CRAP!"
"As you can see," Kenshin whispered. "We like to maintain a positive, worker friendly atmosphere."
"-A dog fed you mother is the $$, you fing basd!
Yahiko stared wide eyed with a mixture of amaze and delight.
"Ummmmmmmm, Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin asked timidly.
"Kenshin! Just the person I was looking to see! Could you hold this for a sec?" Suddenly cheerful, she handed Kenshin her screwdriver and plucked the wooden sword off her wall. "And now behold the ancient Kamiya-Kashin style of machine repair!"
She started whacking the machine with her sword.
"Miss Kaoru, this guy is here to be your apprentice, but you seem busy so we'll just be leaving now..."
Kenshin and Yahiko rushed out.
"Will she teach me to cuss like that?" Yahiko asked excitedly.
"Probabl-I mean, no, definitely not" Kenshin replied. Changing the subject, he said, "Shall we go see the cockpit?"
"Sure!" Yahiko was excited to see the place where the ship is steered.
"Great! Hiko, Sano, and I work in the cockpit. We receive transmissions from the navigation/control room telling us where to go. Then we set course for the nearest impending disaster. Since I'm the captain, I also get to sit in the cool chair and bark orders without ever actually doing anything. It's fun!" Kenshin puffed out his chest with pride.
After walking through even more metal hallways in which their footsteps echoed, They arrived at the cockpit. They entered the cool slidey doors with a swipe of Kenshin's card.
The cockpit had computers, buttons, and gauges lining the sides. Except for in the right corner, where there were two tall, clear tubes, large enough to fit a person. There were some gauges and control panels next to them on a pole. There was a large screen in the middle of the far wall. Kenshin's plush, pink comfy chair sat in the middle of the room on a pink carpet.
"Yay, Comfy Chair!" Kenshin squeals. He ran over and started rubbing his cheek against it.
Hiko stepped up from his computer and walked over. "Good to see some new blood around here. I'm getting sick of you, Kenshin."
Kenshin frowned. Yahiko giggled.
"Let me show you around," Hiko declared. "Back to work, Kenshin!"
"Yes master."
"Now Yahiko, this is the main steering computer. You can set the ship's destination on this thing, and then it will steer itself. Over here is the atomification receiver and the deatomizing transmitter," he said, pointing to the cylinders.
"What the-?"
"The teleporty thingies. You can teleport to any of the rooms in this ship, but you have to do all sorts of preparations before hand to make sure they are ready to receive you, so its usually easier to walk. Don't tell the weapon master that, though, or she will kill you."
"Got it."
"This big screen is for receiving and sending video messages."
"You mean you can see people talking to you in that cool screen?"
"Yeah."
"Excellent!"
"Now over here we have..." Hiko pointed out several different computers, each with their own function, like activating the left prong blaster deflectors, gauging the engine heat, and disabling the life support systems.
"Cool, Hiko, but what's that one for?" Yahiko pointed to a computer screen with pictures of naked women on the screen.
"Oh, uh...that's my...errmm that's...well, I guess you could say it's the entertainment..."
"...AAAAAAAAAAAND finally," Hiko concluded. "Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER, EVER EVEN IF IT MEANS THE DOOM OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE touch that red button," He pointed at a red button on the wall near the door.
"Why not?"
"It puts us into hyper red alert psycho-thriller wet-your-pants important climax to a movie mode."
At that very moment, Sanosuke walked in, complete with a suit that showed his hair. "Hey guys," he said, leaning against the wall and accidentally pushing the red button with his shoulder.
Immediately, red lights started flashing and a voice says: "Now entering hyper red alert psycho-thriller wet-your-pants important climax to a movie mode"
"What happens now?" Yahiko asked.
"Nothing. That's all it does, as far as we can tell,' Hiko said cheerfully.
"I push it once in a while just for fun 'cuz I like to scare the new people. Plus having seizures when the lights come on is fun." He falls on the floor and starts twitching. "Seizurific!"
Yahiko wasn't even surprised. On a chip this messed up, things got weirder by the second.
Suddenly, Misao's face came on the big screen. You could see the rest of the Oniwaban crew playing Soul Caliber II in the background. "We've detected an approaching enemy ship. Distance 25 leagues, speed 250 Leagues per hour. They'll be here in about ten minutes, sir. [At this point Aoshi, still maching buttons yelled "Well DUH!] What should we do?"
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cliffhanger!
If you can't wait for the next chappie, the more you review the faster I'll write it! Click that little button and we will all be happy!
No, not "happy", happy, Dammit! ./.
Disclaimer:
Game Show Host: This is your final question, worth 1,000,000 dollars. Does the author of this story own Ruroni Kenshin?
Guest: Ummmmmmmmm...yes?
Host: Wrong! A large anvil that falls from nowhere squashes [the participant] Join us next time on Get it right...OR DIE! ,, (That's the vampire smiley)
Kenshin and Yahiko leave for the weapon master's room. Once again, their footsteps echo in the deserted metal hallways. They went around several twists and turns but finally came to a door that had the sign "Weapon Master" on the front.
"The weapon master is in charge of building all the guns and lasers that we need on this ship," Kenshin explained. "She make deatomatizing rays, atomification receptors, quantum phasers, Super-blow-em-up-3000's, and wooden guns, such as yours."
"Woah, explain this in English please," Yahiko suggested.
"Deatomatizing rays vaporise people. Atomification receptors are teleport devices. Quantum phasers stun people. Super-Blow-em-up-3000s blow stuff up. And wooden guns have no function whatsoever.
"Thanks for the confidence"
"No problem"
"What kind of gun do you have?"
"I have a super quantum deatomification blower upper 3000 ½!...But I don't believe in killing," he added belatedly.
"Cool"
"Tell me about it," Kenshin agreed. "Let's see what she's up to. Now, I understand you are to be her apprentice, right?"
"Yep"
Kenshin swiped his card and the doors open. They walked in. The room was white with lots of blueprints and notes tacked to the walls. A wooden sword was hanging near the back of the room. There was a desk with all kinds of machine parts scattered on it. In the middle there was a huge incomplete laser, over which a young woman with black hair was bending, mumbling darkly.
[The following segment has been edited by the People Against Swearing, Dammit!]
"F you, you stupid laser. My dead grandma is in better shape than you, you son of a B!" There was a small explosion and a puff of horrid smoke rised everywhere. "I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU FING PIECE OF CRAP!"
"As you can see," Kenshin whispered. "We like to maintain a positive, worker friendly atmosphere."
"-A dog fed you mother is the $$, you fing basd!
Yahiko stared wide eyed with a mixture of amaze and delight.
"Ummmmmmmm, Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin asked timidly.
"Kenshin! Just the person I was looking to see! Could you hold this for a sec?" Suddenly cheerful, she handed Kenshin her screwdriver and plucked the wooden sword off her wall. "And now behold the ancient Kamiya-Kashin style of machine repair!"
She started whacking the machine with her sword.
"Miss Kaoru, this guy is here to be your apprentice, but you seem busy so we'll just be leaving now..."
Kenshin and Yahiko rushed out.
"Will she teach me to cuss like that?" Yahiko asked excitedly.
"Probabl-I mean, no, definitely not" Kenshin replied. Changing the subject, he said, "Shall we go see the cockpit?"
"Sure!" Yahiko was excited to see the place where the ship is steered.
"Great! Hiko, Sano, and I work in the cockpit. We receive transmissions from the navigation/control room telling us where to go. Then we set course for the nearest impending disaster. Since I'm the captain, I also get to sit in the cool chair and bark orders without ever actually doing anything. It's fun!" Kenshin puffed out his chest with pride.
After walking through even more metal hallways in which their footsteps echoed, They arrived at the cockpit. They entered the cool slidey doors with a swipe of Kenshin's card.
The cockpit had computers, buttons, and gauges lining the sides. Except for in the right corner, where there were two tall, clear tubes, large enough to fit a person. There were some gauges and control panels next to them on a pole. There was a large screen in the middle of the far wall. Kenshin's plush, pink comfy chair sat in the middle of the room on a pink carpet.
"Yay, Comfy Chair!" Kenshin squeals. He ran over and started rubbing his cheek against it.
Hiko stepped up from his computer and walked over. "Good to see some new blood around here. I'm getting sick of you, Kenshin."
Kenshin frowned. Yahiko giggled.
"Let me show you around," Hiko declared. "Back to work, Kenshin!"
"Yes master."
"Now Yahiko, this is the main steering computer. You can set the ship's destination on this thing, and then it will steer itself. Over here is the atomification receiver and the deatomizing transmitter," he said, pointing to the cylinders.
"What the-?"
"The teleporty thingies. You can teleport to any of the rooms in this ship, but you have to do all sorts of preparations before hand to make sure they are ready to receive you, so its usually easier to walk. Don't tell the weapon master that, though, or she will kill you."
"Got it."
"This big screen is for receiving and sending video messages."
"You mean you can see people talking to you in that cool screen?"
"Yeah."
"Excellent!"
"Now over here we have..." Hiko pointed out several different computers, each with their own function, like activating the left prong blaster deflectors, gauging the engine heat, and disabling the life support systems.
"Cool, Hiko, but what's that one for?" Yahiko pointed to a computer screen with pictures of naked women on the screen.
"Oh, uh...that's my...errmm that's...well, I guess you could say it's the entertainment..."
"...AAAAAAAAAAAND finally," Hiko concluded. "Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER, EVER EVEN IF IT MEANS THE DOOM OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE touch that red button," He pointed at a red button on the wall near the door.
"Why not?"
"It puts us into hyper red alert psycho-thriller wet-your-pants important climax to a movie mode."
At that very moment, Sanosuke walked in, complete with a suit that showed his hair. "Hey guys," he said, leaning against the wall and accidentally pushing the red button with his shoulder.
Immediately, red lights started flashing and a voice says: "Now entering hyper red alert psycho-thriller wet-your-pants important climax to a movie mode"
"What happens now?" Yahiko asked.
"Nothing. That's all it does, as far as we can tell,' Hiko said cheerfully.
"I push it once in a while just for fun 'cuz I like to scare the new people. Plus having seizures when the lights come on is fun." He falls on the floor and starts twitching. "Seizurific!"
Yahiko wasn't even surprised. On a chip this messed up, things got weirder by the second.
Suddenly, Misao's face came on the big screen. You could see the rest of the Oniwaban crew playing Soul Caliber II in the background. "We've detected an approaching enemy ship. Distance 25 leagues, speed 250 Leagues per hour. They'll be here in about ten minutes, sir. [At this point Aoshi, still maching buttons yelled "Well DUH!] What should we do?"
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cliffhanger!
If you can't wait for the next chappie, the more you review the faster I'll write it! Click that little button and we will all be happy!
No, not "happy", happy, Dammit! ./.
