Circus Craziness

To Sparky Genocide: Yep, the circus. No, they won't be hired for the sideshow. I was also inspired by an old episode of an old carton called 'Denver: The Last Dinosaur'. Don't ask. Just don't ask.

To Red Witch: Yep, looks like the circus is the latest institution to be flipped upside down and driven crazy several ways over by one of the Misfit teams.

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, and claps. Some hold up signs.) This time, we take a look at a Joe who functions as Malibu Base's resident CMO (Chief Medical Officer), Stretcher!

Stretcher

Real Name: Thomas J. Larivee

Affiliation: Army

Rank: E-5

Primary Military Specialty: Medical Specialist

Secondary Military Specialty: Troop Transportation

Birthplace: Hartford, Connecticut

Bio: Before he was a member of the GI Joe team, Stretcher was a front-line medic for one of the roughest combat units in NATO. His primary duty was to carry troops to safety where he could patch them up using the latest first-aid techniques. This job is easy for Stretcher because he has great strength thanks to his days as an Olympic weightlifter.

He now is one of the Malibu Joes, functioning as their chief medical officer. He spends quite a bit of time with the West Coast Misfits, considering their battles against evil mutants and terrorists as well as super-powered brawls within the team cause them to visit him a lot.

Chapter 2: Introducing the Circus of Crime!

Just outside of Malibu

The Big Top was up. It was a huge green tent with a purple tip. Inside, a crowd of spectators had gathered within the tent, sitting in bleachers. In the center of the tent stood a man. He was clad like a ringmaster: blue pants, green boots with silver stars on them, a white high-collared shirt with a blue bow tie under a green vest, and his ringmaster-like jacket was green with silver stars on them. His head, covered in gray hair, was covered by a blue top hat with a green band and a white disc with a black spiral on it on the front.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Children of all ages! We welcome you to the Tiboldt Family Circus!" The man crowed in an Eastern European accent, and the crowd cheered. "I am Maynard Tiboldt, your ringmaster tonight! I hope you enjoy our circus, because I have gathered the finest acts from around the world and brought them here to perform for you tonight! Our first act came from the Southern United States. She is as beautiful as she is amazing, Princess Python!" Maynard left the stage, and a beautiful red-haired woman walked on stage, clad in a green costume with a snake motif. She carried a python on her shoulders.

"Hello." She said, her voice carrying a Southern lit. "Ah hope you enjoy mah act! Ah think of mah snakes as mah children. This is mah pride and joy, Isabelle." She motioned to her python, making the crowd ooh and ah in wonder. She did her act, which was basically a snake-charming act. Maynard introduced several more acts: A bunch of clowns led by one named Eliot "Crafty" Franklin, who came from a long line of clowns, Bruce "Bruto" Olafsen, a powerful Swedish strongman, Ernesto and Luigi Gambonno, a pair of twin acrobats and trapeze artists from Italy, Jack Pulver, the Human Cannonball, and many other acts, including a fire-breather from Spain and an Indian (As in from the country of India) animal trainer. Maynard Tiboldt watched the crowd scream and holler in delight.

Now to activate the big event. The Ringmaster smirked. He pressed a hidden button on his glove. Suddenly, a group of spinning disks appeared from the supporting beams of the tent, and as they span, they caused the audience to fall into a trance. "Take their things and let's go." Tiboldt ordered his performers. They grabbed the audiences' valuables and placed them into bags. They then raced offstage and hid the swag. "Excellent. Now to make sure they don't remember a thing."

Across town

"Hey jabroni! I want hot dogs and soda!" Kyle snapped at the vendor. The West Coast Misfits had decided to attend the Wrangling Brothers Circus.

"Kyle, let me order." Tommy grinned as he took the younger mutant's place. The vendor yelped.

"Oh no, pal! The union warned me about you, buddy!" The vendor's eyes widened at the sight of Tommy. "No food for you! The short loudmouth next to you, fine!" Tommy Sharpe was feared by food vendors across the state because of his eating habits.

"Short loudmouth?!?!?!" Kyle yelled. "I'll show you short loudmouth you jabroni!" Kyle leapt at the window in the mood to beat the vendor into kingdom come, but Tommy held him back and carted the yelling and cursing electrokinetic off. "Let me go, fishface! I'll knock that moron out!"

"I'll order." Toshiro grumbled as he went up to the blinking vendor.

"I love the circus!" Jester grinned.

"I am not surprised." Dial-Up replied, taking Jester's arm off her shoulders. "You are the biggest clown there is."

"That hurt." Jester pouted.

"I'm hungry!" Tommy whined.

"You could eat all the corn on Earth and you'd still be hungry." Kyle grumbled. "Let's hope this circus isn't lame."

"Circuses are an old form of entertainment, Kyle. Been around since the turn of the century." Quick-Kick said. "Some have been around for decades."

"The Thunderbolt hopes this isn't one of those weirdo 'artistic' circuses." Kyle replied. "You know, the ones like that nutball Cirque de Soleil. That ain't no circus, that's a freakshow!"

"No Kyle." Quick-Kick sighed. "This is a regular circus, one with lions, and tigers, and ringmasters, and…"

"And pretty girls in skimpy outfits!" Terrell whooped as he walked by.

"C'mere, you walking hormone." Quick-Kick grabbed the speedster by his ear, making him go "Ow ow ow."

"Well, you can be thankful he isn't a vain little dork like that jabroni Quicksilver." Kyle grinned.

"Yeah, I can be thankful for that." Quick-Kick nodded.

"Hey! My grandma would smack the taste out of my mouth if I was being vain!" Terrell exclaimed. "My ear hurts!"

"Did everyone get popcorn?" Rahne asked.

"I still don't understand why Firestorm had to come like that?" Terrell asked, pointing at the explosives expert with his thumb. Firestorm looked like he was playing Hannibal Lecter: He was in a straitjacket, and he was bound to a dolly. BR was next to him, bound the same way.

"The last time Firestorm and BR went to a circus, they blew up the Big Top accidentally." Quick-Kick explained.

"It was really a Cobra trap!" Firestorm exclaimed in his own defense. "Tomax and Xamot owned that circus!"

Well, looks like the insanity is going to continue! What madness will happen next? Will the West Coast Misfits face the Circus of Crime? Will Firestorm blow up the Wrangling Brothers circus? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!