Duels of the Heart

Author's Notes:

I received nice comments out there for the first chapter... I'm surprised that I got 5 reviews for the first day... Even though it was err... emotional. ; I got a lot of comments about Yami and his hatred as well as surprised comments at how he hates...just... OO;;; everything. I guess I got carried away... I assume people would see him as OOC in this too. Anyways, replying time!

Reviewers' Replies:

. Zelia Theb . Arigatou gozaimasu! Yes, it is odd, and you're right. It's a new side of him completely. I wanted to try to bring out a dark side of him... . ; And of course we don't really see a dark and sadistic Yami on television, now do we? So... we really would know if this is actually a "new side", maybe just a side he never revealed before.

darker light .;;;;;;;;;; Eh heh heh... Well, I guess you like hate, ne? Yeah... it's a bit weird he hates a lot of things... but, you're not complaining, are ya? Also, thank you!!

. Kawaii Chibi Yami Ah, first of all, just let me say I adore your pen name! Beams Very cute! Thank you! Oh, the summary? Well, actually... ; it IS suppose to be 'I hate you'. Remember, like I said in the last chapter, that his hate is masking another emotion. . Think about it.

. Starlit Hope If you think it like that, .; yes, in a specific way. Heh, anyways, arigatou gozaimasu for reviewing!

. Dragonite Konacko Himura . Arigatou! Trademark run tackle chibi glomp I'm quite honored that you reviewed first! Thank you so much and here's a Yami plushie for the first review for this! Hands Yami plushie to Dragonite

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO!

Summary: If someone related to me had died, but I had not known them, would I cry? Would I cry tears of pain and sadness? For someone dear and close to me? No... I would cry, but I would cry for someone I did not know. I would cry for a stranger.

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Death...

Death is a release of pain, to people who wish for it to come. They would end their life quickly with a smile, glad that they would not be grieved anymore in their horrific life. But how wrong they are, how terribly wrong...

I've lived for over three millennia, not physically of course, but in soul. And has my pain ever ended? I have no knowledge of my past, and so I don't recall my death. But I do reminisce the desperately desired relief that washed over me. But I guess my relief didn't last long.

But If I should recall... you've killed me more times than I could count. Stabbed me in the heart with every word you spoke, tore my soul with every glare I received. You killed my sanity that I had lost years ago, you killed my heart that keeps on breaking, and killed my emotions that I no longer show, even to Yugi and his friends. Unintentionally? Maybe, but even though, it hurt just to even look at you.

Why did I even accept all those duels, to know I would win them anyways? Just because I knew that one day I would develop a sickness towards it, that I knew you could end my reign as King of Games, and as well, myself? Defeat was the very eyes of death itself, experiencing it would be like driving a katana through your abdomen. Death must be more pleasant than defeat, because with defeat, you live on with the disgrace and hopelessness of a loser. While in death, you can live with it, while not living at all. But, some people, who bear a strong will, would overcome their defeat, and strive to be the victor once again.

But defeat can do so much to people. Drive them into insanity, hallucinations, and even nightmares; repeating and seeing, reliving that moment of defeat over and over again. That is why defeat is worst than death. But I experienced both with the same amount of pain, by the same person and by the same hands. Which was you. Time was passing by, and as the people I held so dear to me grew older, I stayed young but aged the same time. Life and death was so cruel to me... Letting me live all the while dead physically and spiritually. I still have my spirit, but it had died a long time ago. Sometimes I wished I didn't exist. Ever. Maybe in my former life I committed suicide to escape from the never ending torment that had devoured my every being. But that would be so selfish. I was Pharaoh, and I couldn't throw away my life while others' were at stake. It isn't like me. Or at least, isn't like the person everyone assumes to be me.

Do you assume I am like this? The big hero, the one who cares for everything and everyone? If someone related to me had died, but I had not known them, would I cry? Would I cry tears of pain and sadness? For someone dear and close to me? No... I would cry, but I would cry for someone I did not know. I would cry for a stranger. So if I died, would my friends cry for me? Would you cry for me? Or would they cry for the stranger they think is me?

I died now, once again. But you don't know, so you do not cry. But when you find out, will you cry for me? Will you cry for the soul that died today, by your hands, without knowledge you had? Of guilt, pain of loss, or even happiness? No... you don't, so you stare me down like you do now. Do you say anything, yes you do, but I'm not listening. Can the dead listen to anything of the living? I don't know, so I do not talk. I do not listen. And I do not care.

"...so why are you doing this to yourself?"

Are you worried about me? Actually worried? You don't look it, you don't sound it, but the words are still there. And it hurts me.

My head is hung down, and you cannot see my eyes. My weakness. I cannot see you either, and regret that I cannot.

"'Yugi..."

You say my name, and that is the only thing I hear. My name, the one that I take of, the one that is not me. The one that everyone thinks is me... I am angered, and I still do not show it. My head is still hung down, and I still do not look at you.

"My name... my name... is Yami..."

I didn't know how close you were to me, how much you meant to me, how much you cared, until I felt you stroke that one tear I did not know I had shed. 1

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1 Damn that's a long sentence. Cough It's part of another "Quote Fic" of mine. . You... do... know what a "Quote Fic" is, ne? A Quote Fic is a fiction or fan fiction I make both that is based on a quote and or all about it.

I sooooooooo love this chapter. Please give good feedback.

Ja matane,

Harika