Disclaimer: Didya miss me? Didya? Didya? Didya? The Authoress let me go on vacation to Jurassic Park, but she only gave me one ticket! I had to swim home! That's why I wasn't around last chappie! ^-^

Author (ess): YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET EATEN!

Disclaimer: ...You don't love me? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL! (Cries in corner)

Author (ess): Don't cry! I'll...create a girlfriend for you.

Disclaimer: *sniff* ...really?

Author (ess): Yeah! She'll be ready by next chapter!

Disclaimer: YAY! ^-^

Author (ess): Now, do your job.

Disclaimer: THE AUTHOR (ESS) DOES NOT OWN RUROUNI KENSHIN.

***

I don't really know where that segment came from. I think that the way people label the disclaimer with the colon sparked the idea that it was a living entity, merely communicating in script format. Or something.

***

WAIT! Before I begin this chapter you should know that I do not know much about rap and the culture surrounding it, so if you find something wrong or that I could do better, tell me nicely. This chapter was not meant to be offensive or accurately depict rappers, merely parody all of the images we see on TV and in the media. No flames.

***

"OH MY GOD!" Kamiya Kaoru promptly had a heart attack. Megumi rushed over and dragged her out of the room, presumably taking her to the hospital wing. Hiko looked pale. Misao screamed in terror. Aoshi pinched himself then clutched his head. Sanosuke fainted dead away. Yahiko burst out laughing. Kenshin actually stopped petting the comfy chair and looked up.

Saitou Hajime had gone Gangsta Rapper. And we mean the whole nine yards. You know, baggy pants with chains dangling off them, a blue & black baggy jacket over a white undershirt, the jacket read: 'Aku Soku Zanzizzle', silver chain necklace (bling) shaped like a wolf's head, and a sideways baseball cap.

"Yo! Sup, homies?" Saitou asked.

Sanosuke, recovered from the little fainting incident, took over. "Don't worry, I speak rap," he whispered. Then, tuning to Saitou, he made the peace sign, banged it twice on his chest, and then said, "YO! Bling Bling, Homies!" [A/N: That was for you Shaolin 10!]

Everyone, including Saitou, burst out laughing. Saitou switched back to his normal voice and manner of speech, then explained to them that his outfit was part of the Shipsengumi's alliance with the rapper clans. Apparently, the rappers had a lot of influence. Saitou was helping to strengthen the ties by adopting their culture, and he found that he rather liked it. He then asked permission for him and his 'home dogs' to come eat dinner on Starship Oro, as a symbol of alliance.

"You wanna eat with –us-? Don't you hate our guts?" Hiko asked suspiciously.

"We're all bruthas, yo, and we gotta stick togetha."

"Hmmm..." Hiko turned and addressed the crew. "What do you think?"

He was promptly assaulted with several vociferous opinions on the subject of having dinner with a bunch of rappers. Since he could discern no actual words, he simply assumed that was a yes. Which it most definitely was not. He turned and opened his mouth to reply to Saitou, and Misao, in awesome slow motion, jumped from behind Kenshin's chair and dove for Hiko.

Hiko began to speak in the really deep voices you hear when in slow motion. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Misao flew majestically through the air, towards everyone's favorite Hiten Mitsurugi teacher. Amazingly, he didn't sense the attack. Behold the powers of the author (ess).

Misao hit Hiko headfirst at the knees (he's tall, remember), causing him to bend his legs, then topple forward, arms wheeling, face first onto the ground. Misao followed him, her momentum sending her to the ground.

For a second, everyone stood still. Then another second. Then another. And another. Finally, the person editing the film realized that he had sat on the clicker, pausing the film accidentally. He extracted the clicker from his butt (allow 3-7 days), he pushed play again.

After a second, Misao sat up, rubbing her head. In response to the queer looks she was getting, she simply stated in a quiet voice, "Well, you have to admit it was pretty cool."

"Yeah."

"Can't argue with that."

"Right on! Catch ya in three hours. Peace, I'm out." Saitou had interpreted their agreement with Misao's statement as consent. He stopped his transmission before anyone could correct him. The damage was done.

***

Next chapter: The KenshinGumi discover the rapper meaning of party. Flee in terror.

Sorry this chapter was so short. I just wanted to post something. After the initial idea of gangsta Saitou was spent, I kinda ran out of ideas. Suggestions for next chapter welcome!