Chapter 2

Jerk-Off

[Part One]

Point Place, WI

(next day)

12:30PM

The tempting come out and play sun was peeking through Eric's office window as he

was trying to work through his lunch hour. He had to get caught up on yesterday's pile

of paperwork due to taking the day off to take Jacen shopping. His new office since

getting a promoted to assistant supervisor was near the break room. All he could

hear were loud sounds most of it a sad attempt at muffled laughter coming from that

direction and he wouldn't have gotten up from his chair if he didn't hear someone say

his name.

It wasn't in Eric's nature to be a big-shot at work or anywhere else but hell it was

work, if it wasn't work they'd call it super happy fun time and he had a ton of files and

folders on his desk. It was just the thought of Jacen's dental bill and the thankfulness

that the insurance was going to pay 85% of it that was enough for Eric to go into the

break room and find out what the noise was.

"What's going on in here?" Eric asked the small group of men that were huddled

around a table near the vending machines as he noticed one of them quickly hide

something behind his back.

"Nothing, Eric." replied the co-worker who was trying to put something into his laptop

case.

"I don't have to remind you that this is a place of business do I, Paul?"

"No."

"So, what's behind your back?"

They were carrying on like a bunch of five year olds over a Playboy magazine?

"You know I could have you all fired for that," Eric whispered, "But because I'm not an

ass kisser like Fitzgerald. I'll let it go."

"You should keep it, Eric." piped up entry-level moron Zach who was about to burst

out laughing.

"I will," he rolled it up, "Now isn't your lunch hour over, you guys?"

"Yeah." replied the guy named Paul

"Good, now punch back in."

Good God. You think these grown men never saw a dirty magazine before. Eric went

back to his office and locked the door because as soon as he treated himself to

some pictures he was going to shred the magazine in his industrial paper shredder

so he wouldn't get fired over some stupid zero tolerance law because some woman

couldn't differentiate between a harmless comment and a real legitimate case of

sexual harassment.

He picked up the picture of Paige and Jacen that he kept in his dual frame with the

space ship detailing.

"Sorry. Love ya's" as he turned the photograph around.

First he had to see what the dumbasses were laughing over. He didn't have to look

far to see an earmarked page of the magazine.

Over 40 & Lovin' It:

Meet Beulah age "none of your damn business"

From Tarrytown, New York

"Shit! Jackie!" Eric tried not to look at the topless of the photo of the fabulous

boutique manager showing her wares. He was in complete shock. What in the hell

was Jackie doing posing nude? Eric opened up his briefcase and threw the

magazine in on top of his Star Wars comic books and made sure to lock the case

after he closed it.

What in the world would make Jackie Burkhart at age "over 40" to pose nude for a

magazine? He was determined to find out. Eric took out his cell phone when the

intercom buzzer rang almost jolting him out of his office chair.

"Yes, Tammy?"

"Your son is here to see you."

"Send him in."

Eric got out of the chair when he remembered that he locked his door a few

moments before. He figured he better send a good message that one "actually

works at work" so he sat down and opened up a folder. Truth was Eric was a diligent

worker and infact hadn't even had his own lunch yet.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hi, Jacen," Eric looked up, "Oh my god! What happened to you?" He got up to

inspect his son's face.

Jacen's white t-shirt with the blue baseball style sleeves was ripped and he was

sporting a black eye.

"I got into a fight."

"I can see that. Let's see if we can get you cleaned up. Who gave you a black eye?"

"Tony."

"Your best friend Tony?"

"He's not my best friend anymore."

Eric swore if the name 'Mindy' popped up his head was going to explode off his

body.

"What happened?"

"I-I'd rather not say, Dad."

"Okay. Are you sure?"

"Yes. He just said some things that I found offensive."

Eric had a thought and then he quickly dismissed it.

"Let's get you cleaned up. Hopefully you and Tony will be able to work out your

problems. You two have been best friends forever."

"Well sometimes they fade away."

"You shouldn't be too quick to end a friendship. You'll be surprised on how few

people you can rely on in this world…"

"Dad, please no lecture."

"Sorry."

"If anyone asks you later tell them that I won the fight."

Eric tried to smile, "Will do." But all he could think was 'you didn't win?'

He couldn't help it; he was part of the "revolting" gender.

6:15PM

After Eric had cleaned up Jacen's eye his son went on his merry way back to what

he was doing before he paid Eric a visit at work. Which had to involve Mindy as she

just came home from summer camp this morning. He just wanted to have a quiet

family dinner and that was it. But when Eric saw the frozen ground beef still on the

counter top and Paige nowhere in sight, he had a bad feeling about this and more.

"Paige?" he called out; he saw her car parked when he came home from work.

"Hi, Eric," she entered the kitchen and kissed him on the cheek as she held the

cordless phone to her ear.

"Who are you calling?"

"Jackie. The bitch put me on hold."

Uh-oh

"You know about the magazine? I just found out today at work."

"Then you know what Tony did to Jacen."

Oh no. Please don't say it's connected.

"He didn't tell me what the reason was behind their fight."

"Mindy came over today because she thought Jacen came back home instead of

heading to your office and she told me everything that happened. Damn, that

woman. She is such an attention seeker."

Eric's mind was trying to process all of this information in as if he were an uploading

file in overdrive.

"I see. Considering the two of you had a fight during the holidays, I think I should be

the one to talk to her. May I, Paige?"

"Sure."

It was ten more minutes as Eric munched on a milano cookie before the annoying

extended "Dancing Queen" musak mix stopped and Jackie picked up.

"Hi, Jackie, it's me Eric. I know we haven't talked in awhile. Imagine my surprise

when------"

"Save it! I knew this would get your attention, so with the exception of Jacen, you

and your goddamn fucking perfect angel of a girlfriend can both go to Hell."

She slammed the phone down in his ear.

"What happened?"

"She told us to go to Hell and slammed the phone down in my ear."

"She's a bitch, Eric. I'm sorry. I tried to like her. After we had our fight, I tried to make

it right with her, but she didn't seem to care and that's when I knew we were going to

pretend to get along for the sake of you and Jacen…that is until this happened."

Eric put the phone down and put his hands on Paige's shoulders.

"You know what? I don't feel like thinking about this anymore. Is Jacen home?"

"Yeah, he came home a half hour ago."

"Good, let's go out for pizza."

He kissed her on the lips.

"We're going out for pizza?" Jacen just happened to walk in at the right time. "Cool.

Can Mindy come? Her house is on the way."

Eric smiled as he looked at Paige who nodded 'yes'. "I suppose so."

"Great, I'll call her." He took the phone and was about to run of to his room for privacy

until he remembered a few things. "One more thing…?"

"Yes?"

"Can we sit at separate tables and order those individual pans for ourselves?"

"Sure."

"Wait, another thing…"

"What is it, Jacen?"

Paige smiled; he had a face just like his father's and she liked seeing him in the

state of young love.

"Can you give me the money now so I can pay for it?"

"What happened to your allowance and the money you get for doing yard work?"

"I'm saving that."

"Okay," Eric took out his wallet, "Anything else? Are Paige and I allowed to breathe

in the car?"

Paige tapped his arm.

"Don't be silly, Dad, of course you two can breathe…just keep it to low hum."

"Jacen, make your phone call so we can leave."

"He's adorable, Eric. He's in young love." Paige put her hand on Eric's shoulder.

"I think we better go in the living room and sit on the sofa, m'lady. I have a feeling

he's going to change his clothes so he can look 'just right' for Mindy."

"Well, while we are waiting we could make out?" She sat on Eric's lap.

"Provided we keep it to a low hum of course."

She wrapped her arms around him tight, "I love you, Eric Forman."

"Likewise, Paige Allen, soon to be Paige Forman."

Their kiss was sweet and all too brief.

"Come on you guys, we're going to be late! You can kiss each other any old time!"

Jacen whirled by in a white button down shirt with vertical blue stripes, below the

knee length khaki shorts, and his polished Reeboks.

"Five more years!" Eric said as they got up off the sofa

"Five more years until what?"

"Five more years until he's nineteen."

Paige leaned in and gave Eric another soft kiss on the lips.

"You're cute, you know that?"

"Thanks."

"Dad, come on! You're keeping Mindy waiting!" Jacen called from the front porch.

"Five more years," he mumbled to Paige, "Five more years."

To Be Continued