TITLE: BEAUTIFUL HANDS by: nekozuki1776

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Sanzo x Hakkai pairing. My version of what happened between Sanzo and Hakkai during and after the drinking contest that takes place in Episode 38. (Coincidence? I think not. . .) ONESHOT.


BEAUTIFUL HANDS

I love your hands. You have really beautiful hands with long fingers.

He remembered Kanan's words as though she had said them yesterday. The words that made him feel so loved. So beautiful. The hands which once held so many wonderful moments now held completely opposite meanings to him. Defiled. Ugly. Drenched in the blood of a thousand youkais. How disgusting.

For the rest of his living days, he knew that no amount penitence would allow someone to make his hands feel beautiful once again. It was an undeserving feeling that was no longer his right. No one would ever make his tainted, sinful hands feel beautiful once again. No one.

Until today.

-FLASHBACK – Earlier in the Day-

Hakkai, who had an unusually high tolerance of alcohol, was still drinking everyone under the table while observing his remaining teammate drink his 25th cup of sake and grumble in drunken anger.

Sanzo was responding to some boorish comments made from their opponent in the Great Banquet Drinking Contest. In his drunken stupor, he was just about to exorcise this poor opponent's soul when Hakkai instinctively stood up and covered his right hand over Sanzo's mouth to silence him from yelling out the holy chant, "Makai Tenjou."

And that was when he did it.

Sanzo softly kissed and licked the palm that covered his mouth and with a muffled voice, whispered in a volume only Hakkai could hear, "You have such nice hands 'Kai." Sanzo then switched to his usual gruff tone that others could hear, commanding Hakkai that the rest was up to him to win the contest before dropping his head on the table in his inebriated half-consciousness.

And win he did. At the time, Goku, who had been gourmandizing the town's food supply while cheering them on by the sidelines, said that Hakkai looked completely dumbfounded when the host announced Team Sanzo's victory. Little did Goku know that Hakkai was under an entranced state of speechlessness from the houshi's last act before passing out.

Sanzo would never remember it.

Later in the evening when he was the only one still awake; nursing a drink while conversing politely with the bar host, his mind reeled of what Sanzo had done. He really needed to think and he eventually lowered his head in agonizing contemplation.

Even later, after defeating the evil youkai aka the bar host, Hakkai noticed how sharp and alert Sanzo had been during the battle.

Maybe Sanzo did know what he was doing.

Hakkai repelled from this piece of thought as if burnt. Hakkai also chose to ignore the growing feelings he had been holding for Sanzo lately. It was a feeling, like most positive feelings, he willingly denied himself during his lifetime reign of self-imposed punishment. There was no way Sanzo, the quintessential epitome of anger if not indifferent, scowling when not violently displeased, moody when not in his desired solitude, would hold a shred of affection towards him let alone consciously act on it.

But maybe. . .just maybe, it meant something?

Every bit of his rational being was begging to not voice such a question. He reasoned that Sanzo, who was at the peak of his intoxication at the time, would have no memory of what he had done.

But he had to know.

Something in his mind, his heart, his soul yearned to know, even if it was going to be an answer that would bring much sadness and loneliness not to mention awkwardness to the westward bound group as a whole. So he opted in asking Sanzo in the most roundabout manner he knew how. He gathered all the courage he could muster and asked the question; bracing himself for the shot from the banishing gun, the blow of the fan, or the barrage of verbal assaults at the least.

"Come to think of it Sanzo, seeing how well you fought out there, how dirty of you, pretending to be drunk all this time."

An ominous sense of silence shook the air as both parties desperately wondered what the other was thinking.

"No. . . I really was drunk. But there's one thing that someone once taught me long ago that I've never forgotten."

"Consume wine, but don't let it consume you."

"Sure I was drunk and a little out of it at times but I was never in a condition where I was ignorant of my actions. You think a man that has countless demons after his life and his sacred scripture has any moment of unawareness?"

Hakkai nodded dumbly, not finding the proper words to utter a response.

"That's why there is never a moment, even when drunk, am I unaware of my actions."

Sanzo then lifted his piercing amethyst eyes that spoke a thousand words and matched those of Hakkai's emerald pair, "And I NEVER do anything I don't mean Hakkai."

Seconds. Minutes. Hours could have passed and Hakkai wouldn't have noticed. It was only when he heard the loud snoring of Goku and Gojyo sleeping ill-mannerdly on the wooden floor did he pull himself out of his trance and tried to gain some tone of normalcy back into his voice.

"Oh my," he smiled. "They have such poor sleeping habits."

Wanting so desperately to be ensconced within his aura once again, Hakkai turned his attention back to the him, "Don't you agree Sanzo?"

Shallow breathing emitted from the slumbering monk as Hakkai saw the reddish hue form on his soft, delicate face.

Was it just the sake or was the eternally scowling figure actually blushing?

-END FLASHBACK-

Hakkai now sat on the bench several inches away--as close as Sanzo would probably ever allow in public--replaying the last few moments in his mind over and over again. He held a cup of sake in his left hand while studying his right. He tried willing the tingling sensation away, hoping with all his might that it wouldn't.

You have such nice hands 'Kai.

He resolutely placed the cup on the table, slowly took a hold of Sanzo's upturned hand, placed a feathery soft kiss and lightly flicked the palm with the tip of his tongue, and whispered in a tone meant only for him.

"And so do you Sanzo."

-THE END-