Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8, it's the property of square soft. No money has or will exchange hands. However all original characters and storylines are mine Thanx.

Thanx again to everyone who's been reviewing my work, here's the next chapter so enjoy!

***

The cold climate outside the comfort of Trabia Garden had meant that Rinoa and Squall had headed back inside to see their friends again.

Squall hadn't said very much on the way there but Rinoa had just been content to have him near her, it seemed to her that it was all she would ever need and that if she could be close to him forever she wouldn't ask for anything else.

Her mind kept wandering to what had been a somewhat unbelievable day – something that started with her discovering she was a good sorceress and ended with most of her friends lives being thrown into some sort of turmoil - Zell hadn't seemed too upset, but she reasoned that he had a family that loved him and a wife by his side.

And yeah, Squall had a sort of family anyway, in the form of her and their friends but she'd always sensed that he longed for something else – he even seemed to morn for a life he'd never really known. She didn't know what had happened with Quistis or Seifer because they'd left almost immediately after getting to Balamb and now she'd find out what Selphie and Irvines files contained.

It didn't even bother her that she didn't have a file - she knew pretty much everything about where she'd come from and where she'd rather not go back to, she'd tried to mend things with her father but he didn't want to know. Part of her was hurt by his behaviour, he was her father after all, but after her mother died he'd sent Rinoa as far away from himself as possible because he couldn't face a constant reminder of her mother. At least Squall didn't have a father like that to deal with, she knew that Laguna could be something of a moron from time to time but his heart was in the right place at least.

A sharp knock on the door brought her back to the real world and she realised that her and Squall were stood outside the room they'd left Irvine and Selphie in.

"Come on in." a male voice told them so they did, both looking a little anxious although Squall would never admit it when they saw their friends faces.

Selphie looked very much like she'd been crying and as soon as Rinoa walked through the door the brunette ran to her pulling her into a tight hug. It must have been pretty bad, though Rinoa and she hugged her friend back, Selphie never cried. Well that wasn't completely true – she had when she left for Trabia the first time because she didn't know if she'd ever see Irvine again but only Rinoa knew about that.

"I think we should leave the girls to it – let'm talk about things they can't tell us." Irvine suggested motioning back towards the door. "I'll sort out a room for you and the lady." He added and squall nodded, he hadn't exactly planned on hem staying but in light of recent events he decided to let it be.

He turned back to Rinoa before he left, she was now sat on the opposite sofa to Selphie and looking at her friend with a small frown of concern on her face. She looked up at him and smiled.

"I'll come and find you in a bit." She told him and he nodded before walking quickly over planting a kiss on her cheek. "I won't be too long." She reassured him squeezing his hand gently and then watched him walk out of the room.

* "Rinoa, um... did your mom have any...did she have any brothers or sisters?" Selphie asked between nervous hiccups.

Her friend thought for a minute, sending her eyes upwards as if the answers were there. "Yeah, I think she did. She used to mention my Uncle but he died when I was only very little so I never knew him and I can't remember his name because I was seven when she told me. Why ask?" Selphie had started to fiddle with the hem of her fleece jacket and had her eyes firmly focussed on the table in front of her. "His name was Liam." She said softly.

"What?" Rinoa asked and then, because she was worried about her friend she moved to sit next to her. Selphie didn't even acknowledge her movement or her question and she didn't look up.

"Liam Heartilly, he lived in Timber with his partner Celes Tilmitt and their daughter Selphie but they were killed when she –I - was only a baby." Her voice was still soft but sadness seemed to flow through her calmly spoken words and her friend didn't know what she was supposed to say.

"She lived with her grandmother until she was three but her grandmother died, then Julia Caraway offered to adopt Selphie but her husband didn't want the responsibility of another daughter and so she was sent to Edea's orphanage. Julia sent money for all the children but Selphie was still left alone." Saying that she was stunned would have been an understatement but there was no other way to describe the shock of her friend's or rather her cousins behaviour or the fact that she constantly referred to herself in the third person.

"Selphie.... My fathers a jack ass." Seemed to be the only thing that Rinoa could say. "And I hate that he took the chance for me to have a sister away." The brunette looked up then, with tears in her eyes. "I guess my mom was always trying to tell me about you and the rest of my family but I was too young to remember, I do remember that there were letters every few months though – even after my mother had died but my father wouldn't let me read them." The explanation seemed to ease Selphies tears and she actually smiled.

"Irvine said he was going to kick his ass."

"Tell him to get in line!" Rinoa remarked as she pictured the queue in her mind – she was first, them Squall, Irvine and Selphie would be there somewhere followed by thousands of people from the Galbadian continent – not to mention the rest of the world. "Although seeing as you're family I should be able to get you to the top of the queue." That comment seemed to reawaken a sense of happiness in the brunette and she hugged her friend again.

"Thank you." She whispered and Rinoa chuckled.

"no problem, now do you think you could show me to my room cause it's getting late and well.. I'm not so good with finding my way around this place."

"Ok, but we're having the full blown catch up in the morning!"

"deal." Rinoa replied and smiled to herself, it was funny in a way, she'd always considered Selphie as a close friend – sort of like a sister and in another reality she guessed that she was but here she was her cousin and that was good enough for her.

* Seifer stood at the door of Quistis's dorm room debating whether knocking on it would be a good idea or if he should just leave her be. He'd actually been stood there for half an hour with a bottle or orange juice and two slices of toast – which had gone cold by now but he figured it was the though that counts right?

Although if he actually started to think about what he was doing right now a greater sense of 'Seifer pride' would kick in and he'd be gone in seconds. Thankfully and in no small part because of his sessions with Quistis he managed to put someone other than himself first and if he was completely honest he was really worried about her. He'd been worried the night before when she didn't show up to the canteen for dinner but he'd left that to the fact that she'd been given her file from the orphanage and she just needed to read it properly. But she hadn't turned up for breakfast either - which was rare because she was normally there early so that she could avoid the treppies and put with the fact that he was probably the last one to see her alarm belles had started ringing in his head.

Quistis it seemed had the ability to brood far more than Squall ever could – only she made sure she appeared happy enough on the outside so that no one would suspect anything. The only reason he'd managed to figure it out was because he'd been spending a lot of time with her over the past couple of years – ok so the first year had been row after row with his old instructor but it had clamed down after he realised what she was trying to do. She'd been trying to save him because she didn't think she could save herself – like if she failed him again there would be no hope that anything she ever did would be any good.

So he knocked on her door, loud enough to wake her if she was sleeping, but he doubted that she was. Absolute silence followed and it crossed his mind that she might not even be in her room, his SeeD training however had taught him to eliminate all the possibilities and not to be out smarted by an enemy. He knocked again, this time hard enough to wake anyone in the corridors surrounding her room.

This time there was movement in the room and he knew she was inside.

"Unless it's important I suggest you leave me alone." Came the sharp and rather angry tone of Quistis Trepe.

"It's important." He told her firmly, he wasn't going to leave until she let him in and at least talked to him – ok talked to him civilly and told him what was wrong.

"What did you do now Seifer? Cause I'm sure that there are other instructors you can go and piss off today other than me." Her comment would, under normal circumstances be his cue to shout abuse back, but seeing as these weren't normal circumstances since when did Seifer help anyone but himself he didn't rise to the argument.

"I brought Breakfast."

"Oh." She whispered, and then wondered why he would be outside her dorm at all. She was used to him avoiding her like the plague, at least at first and it was true that she'd seen more of him recently but he always gave her the feeling that he'd rather be somewhere very far from her.

Quistis considered just telling him to leave again – what did she need breakfast for? She'd gone longer than this without anything to eat and how was she supposed to face Seifer – the man could spot any sign of weakness and instantly start to pray on it.

"Come on Quistis – toast's already frozen." Came his insistent voice yet again, she sighed could she handle him at the moment?

"What's the point of me eating it then." She retorted, but the fight had all but left her and it seemed like the words were just a matter of protocol that her mind exercised in her current situation.

"I'm not going anywhere so you might as well let me in – unless you want to have this conversation through the – " he stopped talking when she opened the door lock so that he could see her standing just beyond the threshold.

He couldn't have carried on his sentence even if his life depended on it; she was stood there, looking so vulnerable and afraid. Her eyes were misty and red from hours of frustrated crying and her hair fell dishevelled around her pale face, she was dressed in pale lilac pyjamas that were obviously too big for her as the neck of the shirt fell past her left shoulder. The way that her hand was gripping tightly on the small shelf just inside told him that it was the only reason she was still standing. What was in that file?

He didn't wait for an invitation, he just walked straight in and hit the button to close the door behind him, and she didn't reply or make any sort of sound or movement. He considered that she was afraid he was about to attack her so he kept his distance.

"Well?" Quistis asked him and she released her death grip from the shelf and folded her arms protectively in front of her. She could feel herself shaking and only hoped that he hadn't noticed but he seemed to be keeping a distance between them so maybe, she told herself, he hadn't.

"Well what?" Seifer asked her gesturing outwards with his arms. He realised he was still holding the toast and orange juice and looked around for somewhere to put them – her room was big compared to most dorms but there was no kitchen area included and he didn't feel like having this discussion holding onto something – he might have been liable to throw it. There was a clear spot near her bedside table and he walked over and placed them next to a distinctly old blue file. He half considered just picking it up and reading it, at least then he'd know what was going on inside that head of hers. However he never got the chance because a firm hand gripped his shoulder and pulled him backwards.

"Don't." she commanded through gritted teeth before she turned him round to face her. He looked completely shocked at her behaviour and she realised that she'd just shown the biggest sign of weakness to a prospective enemy, now he wasn't going to leave until he got what he came for – if only she could figure out what that was.

"I'm not here to cause trouble." He told her looking straight into her eyes and as she studied him he didn't waver from her gaze.

There was honesty in his eyes, past the brutality of the man he had been, the suffering he had lived through and caused. There were even emotions in his eyes – fragmented and quick to change but they were there and it was enough to make her consider confiding in him.

Slowly Quistis released her hold on him and backed away to sit on her bed. He was still stood there watching her, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now.

* Laurie had just confirmed her belief that where she was, was infact the best place in the entire world. She was warm and contented, completely and utterly safe and there wasn't anything that could steal the moment away from her.

"Zell." She mumbled, pulling him closer to her underneath the warmth of the covers. He looked down at her smiling face and ran a hand through her long, soft hair before leaning in to give her a good morning kiss.

"Mornin." He breathed against her skin, sending tingles all through her, the moment had just gotten better.

"Morning." Came her soft reply as she ran her fingers along the design of his tattoo, this seemed to make his smile widen and he clasped her left hand in his right so that he could study the band on her finger.

They'd been married for a year, one amazing but crazy year. They hadn't exactly planned the wedding in the first place – it just sort of struck them as the right thing to do after a mission that nearly killed the both of them in Deling city. It had only been a small wedding in Balamb with their close friends and family present at the ceremony but it was more than she could have asked for and one year on she knew there wasn't a thing she would change . "Laurie, do you mind if we go up into the hill's today?" Zell asked with more than a hint of trepidation in his voice and she could tell something was bothering him.

"Why?" she mumbled moving closer to him.

"I'd like to go see where my birthparents are buried." His solemn tone caught her attention and she looked at him. She knew about the file he'd brought home but he hadn't talked about it – didn't want to ruin their anniversary with something that could wait until later.

"Zell... I'd love to go with you, but it's a three day trip on foot isn't it?" she asked considering what he was proposing, plus she still wasn't aware of the details surrounding his birth parents and she hadn't even know that Ma Dincht was his adopted mother until after they were engaged.

"Yeah, but Xu's arranged for us to take a week off and I thought, that is if you want to that we could go and there are no monsters anymore so..." he was cut off by the feel of his wife's lips pressed against his own.

"I'd love to go Zell, when do we leave?" she said when she'd pulled back to watch his dazed reaction.

"Ah, um... as soon as you can get your stuff together." He answered. "Give me half an hour." She told him hugging him tightly before setting off around the room to find her backpack.

* "So are you going to tell me or just leave me stood here?" Seifer asked, trying to watch his tone around her somewhat volatile mood.

"I don't know yet." She whispered and then huddled her legs close to her with her arms wrapped around them. "It's all just so ... wrong and I don't ..." she forced the tears back as she fought through the new knowledge and the ramifications on her life that they had. She wasn't born into this world through love or kindness and she wondered if that was why she couldn't find 'the one', if she was never supposed to live then there was no soul mate out there for her.

The bed dipped under the pressure of someone sitting to her right and she looked up briefly to see Seifer sat, with his elbows resting on his parted knees watching her. He didn't say a word and for a moment she considered that he was an illusion created by her sleep deprived mind to keep her company. His behaviour certainly wasn't something she'd from him before and although recently he'd changed it all just seemed a little too good to be true. "I'm not even supposed to be here." She told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Don't you mean I'M not supposed to be here? These being the women's dorms?" he asked confused by her comment and even more certain that something was wrong with her and that the only answer was that Hyne- forsaken file. Damn chiken-wuss for finding that chest.

Quistis shook her head and pushed herself back on the bed so that she could lean against the back wall, he followed her actions but made sure to keep a small distance between them – he wanted to help her but he didn't want to injure himself in the process, although if it came down to it he probably would.

"I mean I should never have been born." Anger ran deep through her words and her veins and saying it stung like venom, only there was no antidote to cure this.

"What?" he asked, it was the only response he could think of.

"My mother didn't want me – I was just some tool to get one over the resistance to the Esthar forces." She was bitter in her tone but her voice remained calm and it was clear, from the look in her eyes that slowly she was falling apart.

"Quistis.... Ah.... what happened?" Seifer chose his words carefully but edged a little closer to her at the same time. He didn't know why it bothered him so much or even why he'd really come to see her in the first place but he wanted to help her. In part as gratitude for everything she had done for him and what she'd put up with and for another reason too, although he was unsettled by it and refused to even admit it to himself. But that could be put to the back of his mind – he had to be there for her not worry about himself – not this time.

"Can I even trust you not to say anything to anyone?" she asked turning blue eyes on him to judge his honesty. She still couldn't quite believe that she was considering telling him and to a greater extent that he was still there and willing to listen to her.

"Given everything that you know about me, I don't think there's much of a problem there. Besides we grew up together and I always kept your secrets back then." He reassured her and she attempted a weak smile. It was true, she'd always told him everything and it was just a shame how things had turned out a few years ago.

"True, but this isn't about Selphie and Irvine's kiss-tag game or where Zell hid his secret chocolate stash." It was about the only thing she could say to try and lighten the mood that had fallen over her and was fast descending over him before she told him everything. And she was going to tell him, because there was honesty on his eyes and warmth around him that she recognised from a long time ago.

"No, but you need to tell someone Quis. You keep too much inside and won't talk to anyone, are you afraid the Treppies might finally realise you're only human?" he asked, only half joking.

"I don't care what they think. But you are right – although if you tell anyone I said that I'll swear your lying." She eyed him for a few seconds in warning before continuing. "Anyway, the sooner I say it the sooner it's over right?" he just smiled reassuringly at her as she gave herself the same advice she'd given Seifer for two years and waited for her to start.

"According to the reports that Edea put in my file and some information I managed to get from the Esthar database, my mother was a member of Adel's inner circle of protectors in Esthar and she was sent to try and stop a faction of soldiers living in a small area of the Centra continent, apparently she made no secret of it either." Quistis couldn't help but take it personally and couldn't stop the pain that the thought caused. "My father wasn't the leader of the group but he was in the inner circle and my mother used that to her advantage, she played the whole 'I'm sent here to destroy you but now I'm here I realise I can't because I'm in love with you routine.' And by all accounts he played along with it, hoping to use her in return." she felt Seifer move closer to her so that his arm rested against hers, and to her own surprise she welcomed the comfort rather than shunned it.

"She could have meant it – it happens to people." He told her quietly remembering his own time working for sorceresses and if the accounts she'd managed to find were from Esthar then the documents could have been forged.

But she shook her head slowly and glanced up at him, "The story's the same in the groups documents as well and from what they retrieved from my parents diaries."

"You've really checked up on this haven't you?" it was obvious anyway and he wondered if she'd spent the entire night trying to prove the file wrong... or maybe in finding that it was true she somehow proved she was worthless. He wondered why she couldn't see everything she'd accomplished, graduating at fifteen, defeating the most evil sorceress of all time – she'd even defeated him twice.

But then he remembered part of his reasoning for checking on her – he was worried she'd think she was a failure and because she was someone who kept her worries to herself. Seifer had gone to prove to her that she wasn't only know he'd the state she was in he knew it was going to be harder than he'd first thought.

"I spent all night doing it because I couldn't sleep until I knew exactly what happened and now I do it doesn't change anything – I wasn't born out of love - I was a pawn in my parents games, both of them were using me and each other to get what they wanted. But they ended up killing each other and I was rescued by Galbadian forces." It was a brief explanation of a subject that she knew would stay with her forever. "That's why I screw up at everything and why I'm never going to find the man I'm supposed to be with - he doesn't exist and neither should I."

For a reason he couldn't comprehend that comment cut into Seifer like a knife through his heart and he looked straight at her, willing her to take it back. But when he did any worries that her comment invoked in him were nothing to what the sight of her sat there shaking uncontrollably with tears streaming down her pale face did to him.

Without any real thought to his actions his arms were around her in seconds, comforting her trembling form and proving to both her and himself that she was there because she was meant to be alive. Seifer knew that without her he'd still be lost and there would have been no future for him to look forward to, she'd brought him back from events three years ago and now maybe it was time for him to do the same for her.

Hope u liked it, next one will be up soon. Positive reviews and constructive feedback welcome.!