Circus Craziness!

To Sparky Genocide: Well, your ape idea just had to be used at some point in this story. I mean, it was begging to be used. It was a very funny idea. Jester being crushed by Teena the Fat Lady and then being scared he may have like it, huh? Sounds interesting. I hope you liked seeing Princess Python getting the heebie-jeebies scared out of her by Rahne. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you like this new one!

To Raliena: Hulk quote, huh? I'll see what I can do for that. Anyway, I hope you like this new chapter as much as I hope you enjoyed the last one!

To Red Witch: I'm very glad you liked the chapter and the crazy fight therein. It sucked that you had to take down a lot of your stories and you can't update for a while. You were well into the 400s! I'm telling you, this insanity has got to stop! Look what happened to 'Sleepover of Doom'! I also hope you get to put up more chapters of 'This Soap Opera Called Life'. Anyway, I hope you like this new chapter!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs.) This time, we take a look at a Joe who was never profiled before, even though he's one of GI Joe's greatest heroes! He is the fearless paratrooper of the Joe team: Ripcord!

Ripcord

Real Name: Wallace A. Weems

Affiliation: Army

Rank: Sergeant

Primary Military Specialty: Airborne Infantry, HALO (High-Altitude Low-Opening) Jumper

Secondary Military Specialty: Demolitions

Birthplace: Columbus, Ohio

Bio: A proud native of Columbus, Ohio, Ripcord joined the Civil Air Patrol while he was still in high school. While in the Patrol, Ripcord was introduced to skydiving and he fell in love with it. He decided to join the Army to satisfy his cravings for high altitudes and danger. As a member of the Airborne Infantry, Ripcord became a HALO jumper, short for "High-Altitude Low Opening". HALO jumpers leap out of airplanes at high altitudes, fall thousands, then opens up the parachute at the last second, just enough to safely break the fall. HALO jumpers are thought of as crazy and fearless soldiers. The HALO jumpers were without a doubt, the most fearless members of the Airborne Infantry. When Ripcord was asked to join the GI Joe team, he eagerly accepted.

Disclaimer: "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" - Stan Marsh, SouthPark

Chapter 17: Final Blow!

The Wrangling Brothers' Circus tent

"AUGH!!!" Live Wire landed hard on his back. A snarling X23 grabbed him and pointed her claws to his neck. The West Coast Misfits were taking down the Circus of Crime.

"A word of warning, pal. I got a short fuse. I get very angry when I hear answers I don't like. You do not want to see me angry. Who sent you?"

"The Ringmaster. I come from a circus of crime, lady." Live Wire responded like he was explaining to a small child. "Got it, kid? ACK!!!" X23 grabbed his throat and held it tight.

"Don't call me 'kid', you bad Roy Rogers imitation." X23 snarled. A lightning bolt raced by her. "Hey! Watch it Kyle!"

"AUGH!!!" Teena screamed as Theresa Rourke blasted her with a sonic scream. "MAKE IT STOP!!!"

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Siryn caused the large woman to wobble. Suddenly… "Hey!" Siryn yelped as a couple fireballs streaked by her. "Toshiro Yashida, what in the name of God do ye think ye're doin'?! Are ye aimin' with your eyes or are ye usin' the Force?!" Teena fell on her back with a grunt and a moan as Theresa screeched. The Ireland-born mutant screamer turned around and her eyes widened. "Saints preserve us all…" She mumbled. "YEOWW!!!" She barely dodged a blitz of solar flame. "Sunfire!"

"Kyle, you idiot! It's us!" John yelled as he ducked behind a box to avoid getting blasted by lightning.

"I…don't think they're blasting things willingly." Terrell gulped.

"Correct, my friend." The Ringmaster smirked. He slowly walked into the tent, like he was making some form of grand entrance. "My top hat contains a hypnotic device. I used it to take over the minds of your hot-headed friends. The ones called Thunderbolt and Sunfire."

"Oh great! Kyle's one of the powerhouses of the team thanks to his electrical-based powers." John groaned.

"Not to mention Sunfire is no slouch himself with his solar fire." Rahne added.

"How did the Ringmaster pull it off? Sunfire and Thunderbolt are way too proud to be controlled easily." Theresa noted.

"My hypnotic hat can overcome the mind of anyone, little shamrock." Maynard Tiboldt laughed, calling Theresa that because he noted her Irish accent.

"Not if it gets knocked off!" Terrell zipped toward the Ringmaster with a FWOOSH!!!

"Velocity, no!" Theresa exclaimed. Tiboldt nodded, and Sunfire fired a wall of solar flame in front of Tiboldt. A fiery roar came from the flame wall as it erupted in front of the criminal circus owner.

"YEEEOW!!!!" Terrell barely managed to avoid getting incinerated. He barely was able to slow down and turn back in time.

"Oh thank God." Siryn wiped her brow. She then heard an Apache war cry. "Thunderbird!" John raced in while Terrell was distracted. "Thunderbird, ye bloody fool! Get back here!" The Apache warrior leapt over the flames, unsheathed his hatchet, and raised his arm, ready to slice it off the Ringmaster's head.

"Agh!" A lightning blast knocked the hatchet out of his hand, than a second blast knocked the Native American mutant back towards the group. Ace leapt up and caught him. "Urgh…Man, Kyle can throw a punch."

"That was no punch, my hot-tempered Apache friend." Ace chuckled.

"C'mon!" Tommy waved. He spat his 'ice water' at the flame wall, putting out the flames. Sunfire and Thunderbolt moved to react to Chilljaw.

"Dazzler! Beast King! Distract them!" Theresa quickly barked. Ali blasted Kyle with a light flash, and she was about to do the same with Toshi, when she realized something.

Oh God! I just remembered! Toshi's mask was modified by Trinity! They built polarized lenses into the mask to protect him from bright light! Her answer to her problem was solved in the form of a swooping hawk that grabbed Toshi's mask and pulled it off his head. Thanks, Jack! Ali blasted Toshi, and the two hypnotized mutants were screaming as they covered their eyes and tried to feel their way around.

"Got your hat!" Terrell grinned as he sped behind the Ringmaster, swiping his top hat.

"My hat! Give me back my hat, you little punk!" Tiboldt growled. Despite his best efforts, he was unable to catch the African-American speedster. Terrell was too fast and too cool for Tiboldt. He used his speed to pitch the hat like a Frisbee towards a pole, shattering it. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A couple hours later

"Well, the circus was a success, despite the snags. Thanks, kids." Tim Wrangling thanked the West Coast Misfits.

"No problem." Longshot grinned. He had a black eye, and he did not get it from fighting the Circus of Crime. Terrell walked up to them, several large red handprints on his face.

"Well, I'm done for today." Terrell sighed. The kids laughed.

And the West Coast Misfits save the day again! What insanity will happen next time? What new adventures will come about? Find out soon! This is L1701E, saying thanks for reading!