Empty Gauges
Point Place, WI
9:30AM, a random Saturday
(a day before the dinner party with the adults)
Eric made sure Paige was tucked in bed and allowing herself to "sleep in" on
Saturday. He was dressed in a sky blue polo shirt and jeans. The middle-aged
cuteness that makes teenage girls have affairs with their professors. Or it might have
been the dream he had where the young office girl gave him googly eyes all day. He
wondered why Jacen wasn't up yet? He was never one to really sleep in especially
now since his hormones were in overdrive regarding Mindy. He knocked on the
door.
"What?" Jacen asked from the closed door.
"It's me," Eric opened the door. "May I come in?"
His son's organized mess amazed him, everything was on the floor. But yet he would
know if anyone touched anything of his.
"I guess." Jacen was writing something in his notebook and Eric hoped he wasn't
doing that beyond thought out life plan that he had been doing since childhood that
he didn't know about until years later. He surely closed his notebook quick when Eric
got too close.
"Did you have breakfast today?"
"I grabbed a cold pop-tart and some orange juice. Dad, you don't have to treat me
like I'm five."
"Sorry. I was hoping you can do me a favor today?"
"If it's to clean the gutters can we do it next week? I promised Mindy---"
"No. Unless this has to do with a school club the answer is no. Today I would like you
to stay at home with Paige while I go out."
"Why?! She's not in bad health."
"Jacen Eric Forman, when I ask you to do me a favor, I'd appreciate it, if you would
just do it."
"But Mindy and I---" Jacen stood up.
"No. And you aren't even allowed to officially date until next year. And whatever you
have planned, I'm asking you to reschedule."
"Can Mindy come over?"
"NO!"
"But Dad!"
"Jacen, is Mindy so far up your ass that you don't think of anyone but yourself? I'm
beyond disappointed in your behavior lately. I'd like you to stay at home with your
stepmother."
It was the first time that Eric used the word out loud with his son.
"Fine. And where are you going that I have to stay at home?"
"To the store."
Jacen hadn't acted on his knowledge. He just kept it inside his body like some other
emotions, events, and people that he didn't want to think about. It wasn't fair he knew,
but he had his reasons.
"Fine. Does Paige know about this?"
"No. This is all my idea. She's still sleeping. Maybe you can empty the dishwasher
out so she doesn't have to. And I'm not asking, I'm telling."
Eric realized at that moment that maybe you did have to be a little hard with your
kids, okay, he was never going to call his son a "dumbass" and other verbal abusive
remarks and he never believed in spanking, but maybe you did have to draw hard
lines with them from time to time. Maybe it's how they grew up to be healthy and
strong adults. He loved his son very much and never wanted to hurt his feelings. But
this treating Paige like a comfortable stranger had to stop. And it was going to stop.
He raised him to be more compassionate than this.
"Fine. May I call Mindy to let her know I can't go with her and her Mom to the mall?"
"Of course and it is not going to take you twenty minutes to do it either."
"Yes, Dad."
Jacen rolled his eyes inward and wondered if his father was having a mid life crisis?
10:07AM
Paige got the note from Eric that was written on his Star Wars characters stationery.
Dear Paige,
Gone to the store. Will be back soon. You are very beautiful when you are
sleeping. [that's not to say you aren't downright hot when you are awake.]
I love you,
Eric
After she stopped blushing from her husbands sheepishness, her first thought was
'oh no'. She put on her robe over her nightgown and stepped into her ballerina style
slippers.
There was Jacen in the kitchen taking the dishes out of the dishwasher with the look
of misery on his face.
"Good morning, Jacen."
"Hi."
"It's Saturday. I don't think you want to be emptying the dishes out of the dishwasher."
She went to the refrigerator to pour herself a glass of orange juice.
"I don't mind."
"Did your father make you stay at home?"
"Kind of."
"I'll put those dishes away. I'm sure you made plans with Mindy."
"They left already. Yeah we were going to the mall with her Mother but I already
phoned them that I couldn't go."
"I'll eat a quick breakfast and get dressed and I'll drive you to the mall."
"Dad won't like that."
"Don't worry about your father."
He handed her pre-natal vitamins that were on the counter.
"Thank you, Jacen."
"You'd drive me to the mall?"
"Of course. You don't have to stay here and keep a middle aged woman company
when your heart and soul wants to be with Mindy."
"Thank you, Paige. Do you want some French toast?"
"No, dear. I'll pick up something after I drop you off."
"You need to eat though. It's important."
"I know. I'll get a breakfast biscuit from the Golden Arches."
"I better call Mindy on her cell. I doubt her mother is gone they are looking for some
new furniture."
"Okay. I'll get dressed."
15 minutes later:
Jacen knocked on Eric and Paige's bedroom door just incase she wasn't dressed
yet.
"Come in, Jacen, I'm dressed. Are you ready?"
"You don't have to drive me to the mall."
"Why?"
"Mrs. Swanson decided to drive to Chicago to go to some fancy furniture store
instead."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"I'll make you breakfast."
"No, you don't have to. Isn't there something else that you want to do? Your father
means well, so you don't have to stay here if you don't want to."
"It's no problem. After you eat do you want to play Monopoly or something?"
He was saying all the right things but Eric did wrong by making him spend the day
with her.
"It's okay, sweetie. Don't you want to hang out with Tony?"
"Nah."
"Okay if you are sure that you really want to we can play a game later if you like?"
"I-" He looked at his stepmother in the eyes and he wanted to say something, it was
on the tip of his tongue but the toaster popped up and he couldn't find the words.
"I see you made some for yourself?"
"I'm always hungry." He put the slices on her plate and softly slid it across the table
like those waitresses in the movies.
"Thanks, Jacen. They look good."
"Did you want another glass of juice?"
"I can get it."
"No. I can do it."
Jacen handed Paige a fresh glass of orange juice.
"Thanks."
"Ellis Bell?"
"Excuse me?"
"Emily Bronte's pseudonym was Ellis Bell. Mindy saw your book the last time she
was here and recommended that I read some poems."
"Did you like them?"
So, that's why her bookmark was in a different place!
"She's depressing like Emily Dickinson. You can't take solace in that."
"Did Mindy recommend Emily Dickinson to you?"
"Yes and no, we were reading her in English class at the time."
"They are great poets and I know there aren't many positive messages in them on
the surface but they are quite comforting nonetheless."
"I suppose." Jacen put lots of syrup on his French toast.
"So, what about Ellis Bell, Jacen?"
"I think that'd be a great name for the baby. Because the last thing the kid needs is to
be named after a you know what movie character."
"Hmm, I like that. And yes, your father did suggest Winter for a girl
and Anakin for a boy already."
Jacen put down his fork and laughed a bit, "He doesn't give up does he?"
"No. But he means well. Eric's a great man, just like you are."
"Thanks..um, the reas—"
"You don't have to explain anything to me Jacen. I understand. The French toast was
good. I'll wash the dishes."
"Trivial Pursuit, Paige?"
"Sure."
She took the load to the dishwasher. When Jacen was in the living room to get the
game off the top shelf he couldn't stop the tears from coming out of his eyes when he
noticed the new picture frame that wasn't there last night when he went to bed. It said
'Our Family' in gold letters and there were pictures of him as a baby, pictures of his
father and Paige getting married, and blank spaces for the new edition.
"Jacen, I was thinking of ordering a pizza for lunch. I can go for something gooey."
Paige walked over to him when he wasn't responding. He wished he could press a
button and the tears would go back inside of him where they were supposed to be.
"What's wrong?"
He sniffed. Wishing the Earth would swallow him up. He felt his whole body shake
and the love of his life was in Chicago with her mother buying a damn overpriced
sofa.
"I c—can't, I j—ju—s—t can't." He ran out of house.
"Jacen." Paige called out his name, but he kept on running.
She sat on the porch swing, waiting for his return.
"What did he do?" Not long after Eric came on the porch with two huge shopping
bags from the Baby Boutique. He saw his son run off when he was parking the car.
"I'm going to---"
"No, Eric. It's not what you think. Infact, I think I know exactly what it is. I'd like to stay
out here and wait for him to come back."
"It's cold."
"Bring me my sweater. I'll tell you about all this later. It wasn't necessary what you did
but we did have some nice moments today and he ran away crying. Just bring me
my sweater darling and order me a tray a pizza. Get a pepperoni one and some root
beer for Jacen. And play with your space toys because he won't open up with you
here."
Eric kissed his wife on the cheek, he never saw her so determined before. He was
proud of Paige and it also gave him tingly in the pants feelings. He couldn't help it, he
was always a perv, but he was a good perv so it all worked out.
Paige zipped up her sweater as she kept the tray of pizza on the porch with the soda
bottle.
She got up to look up the street to see if he was on his way home. She was starting
to get worried that he wasn't back yet.
"Jacen, where are you?"
She heard a rustling from the side of the house and walked over and saw Jacen
sitting on the ground. She wished she could swing over the railing but was not about
to do that while pregnant. She had to take the long way round. Paige took the purple
throw blanket that was used for decoration on the porch swing and carried it with her
to the side of the house, with the pizza, and soda.
"How long have you been here, Jacen?" She put the soda in the old milk crate and
the pizza box on top that someone threw in their front yard a few months ago.
"Just for a little while. I bet he's mad."
"As I said don't worry about your father." She covered him with the blanket.
"He's usually fair." Jacen admitted.
"Yes he is. I told your dad to order your favorite pepperoni pizza and root beer."
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry."
"OK. Why were you crying, Jacen? We were having a nice morning. Did I say or do
something wrong?"
"No. I just—ca-n't."
"It's okay you don't have to explain. But there is something that I would like to share
with you. When I was six years old my mother made me a party dress. It was white
cotton and linen with pink flowers on the sleeves and a pink hem. I remember asking
my father how I looked and I was just a little girl—and right in front of my mother he
said I was mistake and that he was sick of me taking my mom's attention from him. I
tried to hold back the tears but it didn't work and after I had the worst birthday party.
He left in the middle of the night and I never saw him again."
"I'm very sorry, Paige." Jacen replied softly
"I know you are."
"You never looked him up when you got older?"
"No. I found out he died when I was sixteen."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Jacen he was an asshole."
"I'm not ready Paige. I hope you understand and you'll tell Dad so he'll get off my
back."
"I understand. I always understood."
"But I heard you cry."
"When?"
"Never mind."
It had to have been the day not too long ago when she announced her pregnancy.
When he was supposed to have left for school, he was eavesdropping maybe?
"Okay. That doesn't mean I don't love you. I just don't hide disappointment well. That
was a terrible choice of words."
"I know what you mean. It's okay. We're both people with empty
gauges due to having one bad parent. Will you give me time?"
"Of course, Jacen."
"For what it is worth I think that you are a nice person and you make my Dad very
happy."
She smiled. It was the most progress that they ever had.
"Thank you."
"Can we eat that pizza now?"
"Don't you want it heated up?"
"Nah."
"Okay." She laughed.
Eric was wondering what could possibly be keeping them? He couldn't concentrate
on model building or putting together a puzzle. He looked from the front door on the
front porch and noticed that Paige wasn't there. He walked out in his socked feet on
the cold concrete and could hear talking coming from the side of the house. There
was his newly pregnant wife and his son sharing a pizza and a two-liter bottle of root
beer. Eric smiled. They were taking like real people. All he heard were bits of things
like "Thomas Jefferson", "The Magna Carta", "1492", and "Apollo 13". He didn't
want to eavesdrop so he walked back into the house promptly. He didn't know what
was or was not revealed between them but they were talking, eating, and even
drinking from the same bottle. Paige and Jacen shared something relevant with
each other today. He only hoped that it would bring them forward and closer with
each other as Mother and son.
Just like life should be.
