Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8, it's the property of Squaresoft. This story is purely for entertainment value. No money has or will exchange hands. Thanx.

Sorry this took so long, I've been busy with a-level revision and so had to get that done as well as write this. Thanks to those who've been reviewing this, particularly vilq oui and Ste r who've reviewed this a few times so far – and anyone else I've forgotten (hangs head in shame – sorry!). Ok well enjoy!

***

Quistis had fallen asleep hours ago but Seifer had stayed with her the entire time, not wanting to leave her side for reasons he didn't exactly feel comfortable admitting. As long as he kept his feelings to himself it seemed he'd be ok – so would she, he reasoned. Someone like her didn't need to be involved with him, he had a temper and a strong will of his own that hardly ever abated but more than that he knew that he could probably cause her more pain. Something he could never forgive himself for inflicting on her. So why was it that part of him was wiling to take the chance?

She watched him staring out of her window; he didn't know that she was awake so she wasn't going to disillusion him. Seifer needed his space as much as she did and infact it surprised her that he was still in her room – he'd even covered her in a blanket to keep her warm. There was no doubting that he'd become a different person in his time back at garden – no saying he'd become a different person wasn't right – he'd returned to the man he started growing up to be before rivalry and sorceresses played their part.

The man before her now was someone she was just beginning to get to know and what she'd seen so far was enough to open her up to the possibility finding out a lot more. She just didn't know if he would want her though – she was after all someone who had a hard time opening up – not to mention the fact that they'd both tried to kill each other on more than one occasion. But stranger things had happened – Squall Leonhart now had a sense of humour for one.

Quistis's eyes had lingered on him too long it seemed because he turned to look at her, catching her awake and staring right at him.

"You're probably wondering why I'm still here right?" he sounded defensive and so she wasn't sure how she was supposed to answer.

"Y – yeah, but I –"

"I'll leave if it's a problem – I don't want to be accused of... oh Hyne –" his fumbled and angry words spilled out and Quistis sat up before he could leave.

"Seifer shut up and come back here." She told him in full instructor mode and to both her and his surprise he did as she asked.

"I can see that you're feeling better." He retorted looking at her.

"I am, thank you." and then because it seemed that she had the upper hand in the conversation she asked him something she wouldn't have had the nerve for otherwise. "Seifer why did you come here in the first place?"

He just stood there staring at the wall behind her as he thought about it.

"Come on Seifer, there has to be some reason why you did it and I don't think it's because I was missing – unless Xu sent you?"

"No, I went to see her when I was looking for you and she didn't know where you were. She thought you were in lessons or something." He told her as it was a question that he could answer – despite the fact he knew he was avoiding the subject.

"Oh." And she didn't say anything else after that, neither did Seifer and the silence that followed was uncomfortable. Both were unable to say anything as the question hung heavy in the air.

"I don't know why I came here. I just did because I was worried about you and I wanted to show you that you weren't a failure and that you could do something right." He blurted.

"What?" she voiced her thoughts before she was aware of it.

"Is it so damn hard to believe that I could care about another human being? My god Quistis you out of everyone should know that I've changed, I'm not some..." and he stopped when he looked down to see her laughing hysterically at him.

Failing to see the joke in all of this his temper started to flair. "This isn't funny! I came to see you because I was worried... I can't even admit just how much I care about you to myself so how did you expect me to just come out and tell you... and then you laugh at me? What is this?" he finished his out burst to see her sitting there with her hand over her mouth, she was no longer laughing though. Just looking at him through wide eyes.

"Seifer?" she whispered.

"What?" his stubbornness had taken over his anger as he waited for her to follow up her question.

"I'm glad that you're here." she said simply.

"Oh." He looked dumbfounded and without a clue what he should stay he just opened his mouth and let his first semi intelligent thought be spoken out loud. "Why?"

Quistis considered her response for a few seconds but couldn't come up with a suitable friendship orientated comment. She was certain that her feelings for him went past friendship and that giving him another answer – after his outburst wasn't fair or right and would ultimately only lead to more pain.

"Because... because no one else would have... I wouldn't – I don't want anyone else here with me. I couldn't have asked for your help, but I didn't need to, you came of your own accord and now I know it's all right... I'm alright with you here." It was a profound and heartfelt statement; Seifer moved to sit on her bed afterwards and rested against the wall like she was, looking at her with unfamiliar emotions playing in eyes once devoid of any human feeling.

"Is it wrong for me to..." she continued, only half looking at him.

"No." he told her, moving closer and despite his own actions he was still surprised she leaned against him. But never the less he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer pressing a kiss into her ruffled blonde hair.

"And if it is then you're not on your own." The though settled her completely and her arms went around him as she allowed the feelings his presence invoked to wash through her and ebb away at the pain in her heart.

* "Providing." Squall started, seeing Selphie start to bounce on the balls of her feet. "That you contact Quistis or Xu, tell them I've authorised it, sort out all the appropriate paperwork yourself and be ready to leave by the time we get back. Then yes it's all fine."

"Thank you, thank you!!" she squealed in delight jumping on him briefly before doing the same to Rinoa and Irvine.

Squall stood back, flushing red and turning to Rinoa who was stood with her hand firmly over her mouth in a vain attempt to stop her hysterical laughter.

Irvine, somewhat embarrassed himself tipped his hat in Squalls direction by means of an apology and took his hyper active girlfriends hand in his own. The commander silently thanked the sharp shooter for his actions and once again turned to Rinoa, who by now had managed to compose herself.

"Ready?" he asked her.

"Yep." She told him, showing him the files and envelope she carried with her, he'd decided that if he wasn't going to be able to 'tell her' everything about his past then she might as well read it. She was such a huge part of his life now and Squall wanted her to know everything about where he came from and who is was – even if he couldn't find the words.

He'd also asked her to keep the envelope as well because he couldn't look at it anymore, not now that he'd decided – firmly – that Laguna, 'his father' should read it first, it felt right somehow. After all he'd known Raine better than Squall and maybe he could handle the situation better that way. And ok he was avoiding the issue but his current reasoning postponed the pain he knew reading his 'mothers' letter would cause.

"We'll contact you when we get to Esthar and let you know when we're coming back here, so be ready and say your good byes before hand." He warned before turning and walking towards the Ragnarok. In the past couple of days it had gathered a layer of snow that made it appear more like an elegant snow sculpture than the airship it really was.

Rinoa stayed behind for a few minutes to say her goodbyes, then she followed Squall up the ramp and into the ship. She turned and waved to Selphie and Irvine every now and again until she was completely in side and could no longer see them.

When she reached the bridge she settled herself down in her usual seat next to Squall, with her legs underneath her as she opened the file that contained Squalls past. He was setting up the auto controls for Esthar and when they were safely up in the air and travelling south he turned to watch Rinoa as she scanned the pages.

"We should be there in an hour or so." He said to break the silence in the air – which was unusual because he'd always considered silence his friend, well until he met her. The though made him smile as he thought back on the past three years, he wanted to be that happy for the rest of his life – arguments and all. He just wanted to be with her.

"Ok." She answered looking up briefly to catch his eyes. "Squall, you're really worried about this aren't you?"

He just looked at her and nodded slowly. "What am I supposed to do, Laguna won't even talk about Raine – he always says it's too painful and now I'm going to walk right in there and tell him that she had his son."

"A son that we don't know if he knew about – you." Rinoa finished for him, she put the file down next to the control panel.

"Yeah."

"Laguna is a good man Squall, a very god man who's suffered a great deal of pain in his life." She said quietly and deliberately looking into his eyes because she knew he'd understand it better that way

"He's not the only one." He reminded her softly, trying his best to keep any sort of anger out of his voice. He wasn't so much angry with Laguna as he was the fact that he didn't know he had a son.

"Yes, but Squall. You're not alone anymore." She reasoned getting out of her seat and walking towards him. He took her hands and then allowed her to sit on his lap, something that she often did when they were alone together on the airship and Squall had long given up telling her she'd be safer in her seat.

"Even more so now I have a father." He remarked and she giggled, resting her head against his and kissing his temple.

"I can't promise that this will go smoothly, but you have to give him some time – don't give up on him before you've had the chance to talk to him, he won't turn you away." She told him, her breath tickling the tiny hairs on his neck.

"Do your sorceress powers tell you that?" he asked, wondering why she managed to calm him down every time he needed it – it must have been something to do with how close they had gotten over the past few years, he could read her as well as she could read him.

"No, my heart tells me." She answered snuggling closer to him and feeling the same comfort she knew he felt.

It made him realise just how alone Laguna must be – he'd lost the person he had the same connection with, it had been severed cruelly and now the only remnant of that was Squall. Rinoa, he reasoned, was probably right Laguna would want to know he didn't loose her completely that in some way she still lived on, in him.

* The village they'd discovered lay in ruins and over grown with green vines that covered and wove themselves through what remained of the structures and houses that once stood proudly on the hillside. Time had not been kind to the place, it seemed even a massacre hadn't allowed buildings time to stand as a silent memorial to those who had once been there. Instead it appeared that all time and nature wanted to do was swallow the place and the history in contained so that the events that plagued the area were forgotten forever.

"Do you know which one belonged to your parents?" Laurie asked, surveying the damage and the eerie calm that surrounded them.

"Sort of, there was a map in with everything else and some one had written my mothers name next to a structure across from a fountain – at least I think it's a fountain." He replied turning the map upside down to see if it made more sense that way because it wasn't very easy to match the buildings that surrounded them to those on the map.

"Well that looks like a church." She told him, carefully stepping over the remains of a wall and pointing to a structure up ahead. It had what looked like the start of a spire, well it had been once, now most of the red stone that had stood proudly lay in a tumbled heap on the ground.

"Which would make..." Zell muttered to himself as he headed forwards and to the right a bit, Laurie followed him being careful not to loose her footing and keep an eye on his – he wasn't exactly paying any sort of attention to where he was going.

"This the fountain..." he stopped briefly next to the structure and then went straight back to his map before turning around and standing completely still – something Laurie rarely saw him do. "And this is my old house." Sadness mixed with anticipation filled his already nervous voice as the pair of them stood outside the one story structure.

It was in a bad way but it seemed to have escaped the worst of the damage, half the roof tiles were still visible, providing at least some shelter from the weather but the front door had fallen back on itself allowing a glance into the shadowed interior.

Laurie reached for Zells hand and he squeezed it tightly as he took in the sight of the small building. "I think we can go inside Zell." She told him quietly as she watched his eyes stare directly past the door.

"I know, I was just takin in the outside first." He looked around him once more and tugged on Laurie's hand "let's take a look around."

She smiled, although he didn't catch it and she silently hoped they found something that would give some sort of evidence of him living there.

It was surprisingly light inside, which was due in part to the fallen wall to the right of the entrance, sunlight streamed in dappled only by the branches that hung from the ceiling. Wooden furniture lay on the floor, some in pieces but there were two untouched chairs and a table, which stood against the wall covered in thick layers of dust. It was on the table that Laurie noticed several ornaments.

"Zell, there's something's over here." He walked over from where he was stood on the other side of the room to her and blew at the dust covering what turned out to be a photo frame and two small ornaments.

"You could have warned me!" she joked quietly as she coughed a few times to clear her throat.

"Sorry Hun, didn't think." He told her picking up the faded photo, this time he wiped off the dust with his shoulder until he could make out the image.

It was of a woman and a man, a few years older than Zell and Laurie and they were stood outside the house smiling at each other as if sharing some private joke. The two had the same coloured hair, blonde but the woman's hair lay in waves around her face.

"Is that your mom and dad?" she asked gently, noting the similarity between her husband and both the people in the picture.

"I think so, I'm gonna see if I can open up the back." and he fiddled with the clasp until the hinge at the side allowed the back to come away and reveal delicate writing, it read

'Zell and Maria Lesca, on the day we moved in to our new home.'

"So you're named after your dad, I'm not surprised. You look a lot like him." She said putting her arm around him as soon as she sensed his change in mood.

"Yeah, I guess I sorta do." Then he looked at her and smiled "Do you... um do you have anywhere to put this, so that I can keep it?" he asked her.

"I've got some room in my bag." She swung her bag from her shoulder and opened up the larger side packet.

Zell handed her the closed frame before paying closer attention to the two small ornaments, they were both identical but mirror images of each other and they were of a man and a woman arm in arm. Placing them both back on the counter he gestured to Laurie that he was going into the back of the house.

He found two rooms there, one that was obviously the master bedroom with a large bed in the centre now overgrown with more vines and coated in a thick layer of rubble from another collapsed wall.

But it wasn't this room that grabbed his attention; it was the smaller less well-lit room next to it that drew him forwards. Walls of pale yellow covered the room interrupted only where the plaster had fallen away and a small hand painted border lined the middle of each wall, which depicted scenes of fairies and magical beings. He ran he hands along the designs in the knowledge that his mother or father had painted them, this room was his and some where in the back of his mind he remembered being there.

Looking around he finally realised what was in the room, a cot stood against the back wall closest to the dust covered window – the only one that he'd seen in the house that was still in one piece. The cot itself was also pretty stable, although the guard nearest to him had been dropped down and the small bed sheets were disturbed – who ever had been there last had left in a hurry. Which, he reminded himself was actually him.

"Zell?" he heard his wife's voice ask from somewhere in the hallway – he reasoned that she couldn't see him from where she was.

"I'm in the little bedroom." He called back and smiled when she popped her head around the door, walking in properly he noticed that she was carrying something that resembled a large book.

"It's a photo album." She told him, answering his question before he needed to ask it. "I found it poking out from under the bed in the other room – I hope you don't mind me looking, it's just that as a librarian I'm sorta curious about old books and stuff."

"I don't mind at all, come over here I want you to see this." And she walked to him; still holding the album under her arm, until she could see what Zell was talking about.

"This was my room." he stated simply and lopped his arms around his wife's waist. She looked around for a few seconds.

"It's beautiful and I love the little fairies – I brought my camera – do you want me to photograph them?" she asked leaning back against him.

"In a little while, but I just wanted you to see it first." Zell explained resting his head next to hers and smiling at the odd sort of contentment he got from being there. He had, in truth expected to be sad and to find a sombre place, but instead they'd discovered what had once been a happy home that now brought a feeling of peace.

"Zell, have you noticed what's in the cot?" she asked softly.

"Just a load of jumbled up sheets and blankets." He didn't sound very bothered so she knew that he was missing the point.

Laurie slipped out of his arms after mild protesting and knelt down in front of the open cot. "Here." She said after pulling out a woollen blanket from the rest of the sheets.

Zell accepted and soon realised what it was, it was a small blanket with the letter Z embroidered onto each corner in blue and red alternately. He was speechless as he looked at his wife and seemed to discover all over again just how much he loved her; she cared for everyone and noticed the smaller details that others would miss. It crossed his mind, for the second time that trip that she would make a fantastic mother someday, he only hoped that it was someday soon. If Finding out his parents past had taught him anything it was to take nothing for granted and he had every intention of doing just that.

"Put it with the photo and the album." She nodded and slipped them both in, despite the albums size and stood next to her husband once more.

"You ok?" she asked, she could see him deep in thought and couldn't help but worry a little.

"I'm fine, you wanna see what else you can find in here?" he asked and Laurie smiled, hugging him before they started work on the cabinet across from the cot.

* "Ragnarok, this is Esthar air station permission to land granted." The voice over the intercom greeted them as they hovered above the city.

"Thanks." Squall told them before he set about manually steering the airship to land in the right spot – auto pilot never seemed to get the landing quite right and doing it himself at least took his mind off the matter at hand.

"You ready?" Rinoa asked as she stood with the file and envelope in her arms. Squall just sighed and raised his eyebrows and she nodded, "Dumb question – sorry."

"It's ok I just don't think that 'ready' applies to this situation."

"I guess not." She told him taking his offered hand as they stepped onto the lift.

"Rin?" he asked nervously – not quite sure how to put what he wanted to say next.

"Yep?" she said smiling up at him and then sliding her hand up his arm and handing him the files so that's he could link arms with him properly.

"I'm sorry about all of this." Rinoa looked at him, confused by his statement.

"Sorry about what?"

"For taking you half way round the world – twice, for being... well more like my old self and for the fact that everyone else is learning about their past and once again you're being left out of it." She smiled as he proved once again just how much he cared for her and for the opportunity to tell him what he'd learned about her own past.

"Firstly, I like to travel, secondly, a couple of days away from class will do me good and... I'm not being left out." Her mischievous smile could be seen in her eyes and it made him wonder what she was hiding. "I'll tell you on the way, come on." She urged as he continued to stare at her with a bemused and slightly relieved expression on his face. At least it will distract him until he has to face his father, Rinoa thought as they made their way off the Ragnarok and down through the technological utopia.

*** if u liked it please review!!! Constructive criticism is also welcome. Next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it done, and yes it's going to be the one when Laguna finds out.