Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8; it's the property of Squaresoft. No money has or will exchange hands. However all original characters and storylines are mine Thanx.
Few, exams are over and I've managed to get another chapter done and it's a longer one than normal! yay! Thank you so much to all those who reviewed and wished me good luck in my exams. Here's the next chapter – it's back to everyone having their own little bits so enjoy.
From where they stood it was possible to make out the lay of the whole island and the roaming ocean before them. They were in the most perfect of surroundings; countryside lay all around them, as they'd made sure to set up camp out of sight of the village. It wasn't a deliberate attempt to forget, just a way to minimise the pain that Zell was feeling.
"I can see why so many people lived here." Laurie commented as she made her way next to Zell with two steaming cups of coffee.
"Yeah, must have been a really great place to raise a family." He replied downheartedly, taking the offered cup.
She didn't really know what she should say to that, instead she took his free hand and squeezed it tightly.
"Did you contact Garden to let them know we made it?" he asked by means of a way to change the subject.
"Yeah, but I couldn't contact Quistis. Xu said she was sorting through some personal things so she ok'd it herself." Zell didn't need to guess why Quistis hadn't been there, everyone who'd seem their file was probably experiencing the same thing, himself included.
"So, there's no immediate reason for us to go back? No evil we need to go and destroy?" he asked again before the silence dragged on for too long.
"No, no rush. Infact she said, as long as we tell them we're going to be late, Xu doesn't mind if we stay a little longer than a week. It seems that everything at Balamb's really calm at the moment and with Squall away not much is happening" She explained leaning against him.
Then after a moment she said, "Zell, when you mentioned us starting a family, were you serious?" Laurie's voice was hardly audible but Zell heard every word. He understood her trepidation though, it wasn't a subject they had talked about in much detail, even so he knew what he wanted.
"Yeah, I'm serious about it. I've been thinking about it for a while now – seriously thinking about it, but I didn't want to push the subject if you weren't ready." She smiled and leaned up to kiss his tattoo affectionately.
"Me too." She admitted. "I just needed to know how you felt, with everything that's been going on I guess I just needed to know that you meant it."
Zell eyed his wife carefully, trying to read her expression. "Laurie..." he started as an idea started to form in his mind.
"Oh no." she explained, her eyes suddenly getting larger, "I'm not saying I'm pregnant now. I'm just trying to say that I'd like to try for a baby and start our own family."
"Me too." Zell said sincerely and took the last mouthful of his coffee before enveloping his wife into his arms.
She accepted gratefully and squeezed him tight, marvelling at the utter gorgeousness of her husband on both the outside and the inside. He on the other hand was occupying himself with kissing her neck.
"I didn't say right now." Laurie teased, although her mind willed him on.
"I – know – but – what's – the – harm – in a little – practice?" he breathed against her neck and Laurie laughed sending shivers through Zell as he continued his exploration of her throat.
There was no way she was going to voice any more complaints, even when he picked her up and carried her towards their tent.
When Rinoa awoke the next morning it was with a mixture of contentment and concern. She still lay in Squalls arms with her head resting on his chest and he was thankfully, still asleep. He hadn't shouted in his sleep at all since she'd spoken to him and the look on his face was somewhat contented, but this didn't alleviate her concerns.
However, at that moment the fact that she needed the bathroom was providing more of a problem for her and so carefully she slipped out of his arms and back on to her side of the bed. This of course left her with yet another problem – she couldn't leave him to wake up on his own, but then again she couldn't wait any longer for the bathroom.
"Squall." She whispered, realising that he'd probably be happier if she told him what was going on.
"Umm?" he mumbled, slowly opening his eyes, then trying to guard them against the morning sun.
"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute." Rinoa whispered, kissing him gently before getting out of the bed and heading towards the door.
"Ok." He called after her before rolling onto his side to watch her as she headed out the door onto the main corridor, their room wasn't en suit but there was a bathroom directly across the hall.
And it seemed that even the short walk from one door to the other was filled with interruptions, well at least that was the way it appeared to Rinoa when she saw Kiros and ward running towards her.
"Miss Heartilly." They called, making her suddenly very glad of the pyjama's she was wearing as apposed to the silk nightgown she had considered.
"Good morning." Rinoa replied, looking at them both questioningly, she was sure they'd told her that where they were staying was closed off from the rest of the palace.
Both older men stopped for a moment to catch their breaths and finally it was Kiros that spoke.
"Laguna's had the upgrade on the Ragnarok finished overnight and is planning on going to Winhill this morning to apparently 'sort out' someone called Jaylen." He explained and he leaned against the wall for a few moments before continuing. "We thought we'd come and find you before he left so that Squall and yourself can at least go with him and stop him doing something he'll regret later."
Her immediate thought was that any sort of physical harm that Laguna was going to cause Jaylen was probably well deserved, but then violence didn't really ever solve anything. And the slightly naughty part of her mind told her that Squall deserved to cause some damage to the man as well.
Rinoa sighed and cast a longing glance at the bathroom door. "I'll get him and we'll be there as soon as we can." And then she added. "What about Ellone?" knowing that if they were going to head off to Winhill like this then she'd want to go too, if only so she could finally face the man who'd helped cause this mess.
"We'll go and find her, but we need you and Squall at the air station as soon as possible." She nodded at the two men and took a moment to be thankful that at least Laguna did have friends to talk to, good and dedicated friends by the looks of things.
"Thank you, and good luck." Kiros told her earnestly before he and ward turned and ran in the opposite direction, leaving Rinoa to run to the bathroom before telling Squall about what appeared to be his fathers attempt to deal with the current situation.
To say Squall had been less than happy at his 'fathers' latest idea was a dramatic understatement, and Rinoa didn't think she'd ever seen him get dressed so quickly. They'd ran most of the way out of the palace, only just having enough time to grab everything they had brought with them and something that passed for breakfast as well.
"You'd think there would be some sort of warning before he goes running off." Squall commented angrily as they neared the air station.
"There was, Kiros and ward remember?" Rinoa said, double stepping in order to keep up with him.
"That's not what I meant."
"I know but this is how he deals with things, he's impulsive and he probably thought he could get this over with before we even found out he was gone." He looked slightly confused by this, so she explained herself. "Squall it's only just gone seven AM, and even you don't get up this early when you're away from Garden."
Or when I am there he mentally corrected himself as he remembered all the late mornings in with her by his side.
"Ok so maybe I should have said anytime." Rinoa remarked, complementing his thoughts exactly and looking at him as if to say, I know this is hard, but you know I'll be here all the way. To which he nodded and then stepped into the air station, taking a deep breath before he had to face his father.
They both saw Laguna immediately as they walked in, he was arguing with one of the technicians in front of the Ragnarok.
"As your president I order you to start up the engines and let me go!" but the technician firmly shook his head.
"I can't sir, not without permission from the owner of the airship."
"WHAT!" Laguna shouted, exasperated.
"Again I'm really sorry sir, but the Ragnarok doesn't belong to you, it's register under a mister Squall Leonhart and we can't do anything other than repair it without his consent." He looked thoroughly scared by the president's mood and before Laguna did anything stupid, well more so than he had attempted already, Squall spoke up.
"He has my permission." This caused the other two men to turn in surprise. "Providing, that we accompany him." His voice had slipped into commander mode and neither man argued with him, infact Laguna didn't say a word.
"Absolutely, she's already for you to come aboard. Is there going to be anyone else joining you?" the slightly relieved technician asked.
"Ah yeah, my sister should be along in a few minutes." Squall answered, watching Laguna's reaction.
"Right well you're all clear to go as soon as you're ready." He said and then he headed off to what Squall guessed to be the control room, which then left the three of them stood there in silence.
Laguna watched his son, knowing that he should at least try and explain himself but what was he supposed to say? He really hadn't thought this through before hand – infact he hadn't done very much at all the previous night. Apparently though he didn't need to.
"Did you think you could solve this mess without us?" Squall asked him looking somewhat annoyed, which for him was unusual.
"I don't know... I just don't want you or Ellone to go through anymore. You've been through enough and I thought that this way at least I could fix things." The older man tried to explain but he had a feeling he was failing miserably.
Squall sighed and looked briefly to Rinoa before saying something. "I understand what you're trying to do, but you can't leave us out of this we at least have a right to know what's going on and to be a part of it."
"You get that from your mother." And despite his recent knowledge that comment startled Squall and he looked too baffled to respond, in fact Laguna could see his face redden a little. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... it's just that she always knew when I was being too impulsive, she would have been so proud of you."
"Ah thanks." The younger man responded, taking hold of Rinoa's hand and holding it tightly for support, he didn't now why the comment had affected him so much, but he was happy that it had. "We should get on board." He added, "Ellone will be here in a minute and I want to make sure they haven't made any 'improvements' to the steering."
Rinoa chuckled at Squalls side and he started to do the same, Laguna on the other hand looked quite left out so the young sorceress elaborated.
"Selphie tried to improve the steering a couple of years ago – before you officially gave it to Squall, it was shortly afterwards that we realised the Ragnarok can also be used as a submarine."
The older mans eyes widened. "What happened?" He asked, glad for the change of subject and to be let in on a private joke between his son and his girlfriend.
"Me Squall, Zell and Laurie were stranded on an underwater reef just outside of Balamb for three days. It took seven specially designed SeeD ships and a group of technicians from Fisherman's Horizon to get us out. Needless to say Selphie hasn't been allowed to touch anything on board unless somebody's with her since."
"Oh, well at least you got out ok." Laguna said shaking his head and chuckling a little as they made their way on board.
"That reminds me." Rinoa started, but Squall caught her train of though before she had to explain further.
"We'll pick them up on the way back to Balamb, they aren't expecting us for a couple of days anyway." Then he added, for the benefit of his father. "Selphie and Irvine are returning to Balamb Garden and we're taking them back when we've left here."
"You might want to warn them that this could take a while." He said solemnly, but Squall understood. He was going to have to face the reason his life turned out the way it did and with that a way to forgive him, if only to honour his mothers memory.
"WHERE?" Fujin asked as she and Seifer made their way around the main corridors, she was referring to where he was heading with an extra breakfast, as they'd just come from the canteen.
"To see a friend." He replied, his face nor voice giving anything away.
"WHO?" his silver haired friend asked again, but Seifer refused to relent to the questioning.
"A good friend. And don't you have somewhere to be?" he asked raising his voice and drawing the attention of a group of cadets passing them and then stopping at the sub corridor that lead to the dorms entrance.
"RESISTANT!" she remarked, smirking and eyeing her friend carefully. "LEAVING!" Fujin added before Seifer said something else, and made her way towards the training centre.
He made sure that he watched her until she was fully inside the centre just in case she decided to turn around and follow, it wasn't a deliberate attempt to hide the developments between himself and Quistis – he just didn't need the pressure from his 'posse'. Seifer wanted to explore their possible relationship before letting anyone know about what was happening between them.
Idle gossip form his 'posse' or anyone else for that matter was the last thing he wanted to inflict on her. She deserved better.
So when the coast was clear Seifer strolled down the corridor heading straight for her dorm, muffin and orange juice in hand – at least that way it wouldn't go cold. This was the third day in a row that he had done this and the second time that he had tried to get her to leave her room. The day before Quistis had refused point blank, too scared to face the people of Garden. It was as if she didn't think she had a right to and he didn't know how to show her that she did.
He made three sharp raps on the door, this time without any sort of trepidation and waited for her to answer, hopefully in a better mood than the day before.
"Give me a second." She replied, knowing exactly who it was by the butterflies that occupied her stomach. She fiddled with her hair in the mirror but in the end decided it was best left long so she walked across her room and opened the door.
Seifer was stood there with his mouth half open, staring at her.
"What?" she asked, pretending to be surprised by his reaction.
"I take it that the pyjama look got boring then." He commented stepping into the room and handing her breakfast to her.
"Yeah." And Quistis accepted the food, putting it on the dressing table while she went in search of her shoes.
Seifer, intrigued by her rooting around the room, moved and sat on the edge of the bed. It took several minutes for her to find what she was looking for but eventually she hopped over to him whilst attempting to put her left shoe on at the same time.
"I though you were supposed to be organised." He teased smiling at her efforts with the shoes.
"I am, normally but these last few days I just seem to have lost track of everything." Quistis told him glaring at him and trying to make her hair stay behind her ears at the same time.
"Including breakfast." He added, being as sarcastic as he could without laughing.
"Nah there's no need to be organised when I get waited on every morning." Quistis countered before heading over to said breakfast and taking a bite of her muffin.
"Yeah well enjoy it while it lasts. The cafeteria staff are starting to give me strange looks – it's as if I'm planning something and the last thing I need in twenty questions about a muffin and orange juice and their possible connections to a dark plot that I'm involved in!" Seifer complained and she laughed, offering him some of her orange, which he accepted.
"So, are you here to make sure I actually leave my room and go to work?" Quistis asked, only half joking - she didn't really know if she could go by herself, it was a confidence issue and she knew it shouldn't matter – but it did.
"Well I was thinking more alone the lines of going out and having some fun, but if you insist on going to work..." she eyed Seifer carefully as she took the carton back, as if judging his seriousness and intentions. Whatever it was that was going on between them neither had really given voice to, there had been comments made but nothing had been discussed – it just hadn't been the right time. It wasn't that Quistis minded that much but she wanted some sort of clarification before whatever they were doing went any further.
"I haven't insisted on going anywhere. I just figured that it would be the best thing to do. You might not have noticed Seifer but I'm not exactly the most sociable of people." It sounded light hearted enough but they both knew her comment meant more than that. She couldn't explain it, she missed him when he wasn't around and when he was she wanted to be as close to him as she could.
"Well then miss Trepe, I'll have to help you there. You see I figure if Squall and Rinoa can just head off somewhere and the Dintchs can roam the Balamb hills to their hearts content, you can join me on my latest venture."
And before Quistis knew what she was saying she answered, "OK."
It was Seifer instead who looked stunned as the irony of their situation once again struck him; he had tried to kill her once, and now despite his best intentions, he wanted to bring her to Life.
"Ah, if you were joking then – " she started to say, but he shook his head.
"No, no I was absolutely serious." However she wasn't listening and carried on with what she was saying.
"Because if you don't want me to go with you I understand."
When it was clear that's he wasn't going to listen to him, Seifer stood up and walked over to her until they stood inches apart and looked straight into her deep blue eyes.
"I want you with me and I want you 'with me'. Am I making any sense, or a complete fool of myself?" he asked, his heart pounding, he wasn't going to back down until he had an answer. If the only way to stop her insecurities was to be completely honest then he would do that.
"You're no fool Seifer Almasy." She replied, hardly breathing, unable to take her eyes off him or even move.
"Quistis." He whispered, running his fingers down her cheek and through her hair, sending shivers straight through her before pulling her towards him so that she stood in his arms.
Locked in his gaze she swore she never wanted to leave, she could stay in the warmth forever and when he tipped his head down gently pressing his lips against her own she reacted with the same gentle pressure and held him close to her.
The contact didn't last long and Quistis still couldn't move, lost in the feelings he invoked, feelings she'd never really experienced before.
"Where are we going?" she breathed when she finally regained control of her body, her hand occupied itself with the hem of his shirt.
"Ah over to Deling city, nothing too daring but there's something I need to do. Call it an annual excursion." He tried to make it sound like it was nothing but she eyed him carefully, the time they had spent together over the past couple of years had taught her to look beneath the surface of his comments.
"Annual?" Quistis asked him when he tried to look away from her.
"Yeah, every year since I left the orphanage I've gone to Deling city, bought four bunches of flowers and gone to the graveyard to pay my respects to my family." Again he refused to look at her, he wasn't at all comfortable discussing this but it didn't mean he didn't want to, he had to tell someone and she was the closet person to him, in more ways than one.
"You never told me you had a family, you mentioned your parents the other day in my classroom but not brothers and sisters." She said quietly, looking up and trying to catch his attention.
"I know, I just never know how to talk about it." Seifer told her, still visibly uncomfortable but he didn't move away and his arms were still around her. "I want to, it's just I never have and I get pissed off thinking about everything that happened to them – I don't want to inflict anymore of my anger on you."
"It's all right you know, I can handle It." she told him and at last their eyes met again. "I've been handling it for more than a year." But he shook her head, pulling her against him once more.
"That's not the point, you're not my shrink you're my... well your more than my friend but you know what I'm getting at. You might be able to handle it but I'm not comfortable with loosing my temper around you anymore – in case you haven't noticed."
Quistis nodded against his chest and squeezed him a little tighter, "just tell me when you're ready." She reassured him, realising that it must be a lot more painful to have everything and then loose it rather than starting out with nothing and getting everything along the way.
With Ellone on board the Ragnarok had finally taken off and the course was set in for Winhill and they had three hours before they were due to arrive. Three hours, which to a very anxious Squall Leonhart felt like three years. Laguna sat near the rear of the bridge on the airship whilst he sat at the helm – in case manual control was needed.
Rinoa and Ellone had headed off to prepare the crew cabins for the latter and her adopted father, which seemed a pointless exercise considering the village had a hotel but Laguna had insisted that they had an alternative place to stay. Which was probably because of the memories the place held.
There was also the small matter of informing Selphie and Irvine to take care of, but that wouldn't take long and Squall was sure that they would both like a little longer to say goodbye to friends they had known for two years.
He on the other hand, couldn't think of a thing to say to a man he should have known his whole life, when infact it had only been a few days since he'd learned the truth. Before that he'd simply been Laguna Loire, president of Esthar, now everything was completely different.
"We always talked about having a family – including Ellone of course."
Squall heard this but he did not turn around, he couldn't. Afraid that his eyes would betray his controlled exterior. This however, didn't seem to bother Laguna, who carried on regardless because he knew it needed to be said.
"Well as soon as we were engaged anyway. Even at the slightest hint of children Raines eyes used to sparkle, and I could see what a wonderful mother she would have been to you in the way that she cared for Ellone." He sighed, "I just – "
"Don't." Squall cut in, he couldn't stand to hear anymore about his father's regrets. "What's done is done. If you could have gone back, you would have right?" the question at the end marking his only sign of doubt.
"YES!" came the loud and fast reply, the older man stood up but Squall didn't even turn around. "I loved Raine – I still do. I can't help but regret it because it's the first time I failed her and the first time I failed my son." He said, the emotions of his words ringing true in his voice.
"Lag – look we had this conversation yesterday. You did what you had to do and probably even what you were meant to do." Then Squalls voice dropped so low it was hardly audible, "I don't blame you for that."
"Then who do you blame?" the commander jumped ever so slightly at the sound directly behind him. He was trained to sense movement, but caught up in his own emotions and thoughts he didn't hear his fathers approach. Or maybe Laguna's military training had taught him something after all.
"There's no one to blame." He answered bitterly, trying not to look at his father when he took the seat next to him.
"Not even Jaylen?" Laguna asked quietly, making Squall look him right in the eyes.
"Jaylen is to blame for trying to keep me a secret and I'll damn well make sure that he knows it. But if you're asking me who's to blame for you not getting back to Raine in time? Well then I can't give you an answer because I don't know. Maybe it's all Hynes doing – maybe it was just fate. All I know is we can't change the past, we can only influence the future by what we do in the present."
Laguna just turned to look out of the glass at the view of changing landscapes as he considered his son's point. Squall was right and he knew it.
"It's just that I ... I can't seem to move on. She was the one person I ever really imagined spending my life with – no one else affected me like she did and even Julia didn't come close to Raine. I miss her so much and I don't know what I'm supposed to do or who I'm supposed to be. Without her I've never known."
His voice was so filled with sorrow that Squall didn't know what he was supposed to do, his father had lived out his first fear and it seemed that nothing could erase the pain he felt. Despite this though, something occurred to Squall, a point so obvious and yet something that needed to be communicated.
"You're supposed to be exactly who you are." He said reassuringly, but the older man didn't seem to understand.
"The president of Esthar? I don't do anything rather than hide from the rest of the world, sign a few papers and keep politically dangerous secrets. And I only do that because no one else will and it takes my mind off of everything else." He looked both exasperated and confused, he was pleading to be helped and to understand why his life had turned out the way it had.
"That's not who I meant." Squall said, starting to sound defeated himself.
"Then who?"
"You're supposed to be exactly who you are, my father."
As always positive reviews and constructive criticisms are welcome. Thanx
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