Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I still live. The lyrics belong to The Ataris.
CHAPTER FOUR - NICK
Nick Stokes stopped by the lab on his way out. Sure, Grissom had told him to go home, but he really wanted the results from the case he had been working on. He looked everywhere for Greg Sanders, but he had already gone.
With a sigh, he headed out toward the parking lot. Grissom was just pulling out, and Sara was already gone. It was too late to put his plan into action.
Nick had always had feelings for Sara, but that was all it was; feelings. She had no interest in him, but it was a game that Nick played with himself. Anything to make it feel like he actually belonged here.
He got into his car, not wanting to go home yet. The sun was too bright. It stung his eyes until he finally reached for his sunglasses to block it out. Even so, little pieces crept in around the crack between the frame and his face, burning into his retinas. He sighed, heading toward the bar where he and Greg used to play pool before their shift started.
He wondered what everyone else was doing right now. Warrick was probably heading to his place to relax and watch the game he had taped the night before. Sara and Grissom would go to the places and probably keep working. He was pretty sure that Catherine was going home to Lindsey, and Greg to that new girl he had met the other day. He hadn't stopped talking about her since. It's not that Nick was jealous. He just wished that he got to see his best friend a little more.
I don't belong here.
The thought had nagged at the back of his mind since he had started working there, and it had yet to dissipate. Actually, when Nick really thought about it, it seemed that the feeling grew stronger.
I should have stayed in Texas with my family.
Everything in Vegas was lonely. In Texas, he had constantly been surrounded by people. Growing up as the youngest son in a family of seven, he had always had someone looking out for him. Here, he was completely alone. He lived comfortably enough, but there was never anyone around to talk to or be with. Even if he met someone in a bar, the chances of seeing them again were slim. And if he did see them, usually they had wound up in a body bag somehow.
The bartender looked at him, but Nick shook his head. Alcohol would do nothing for him now. He stood again and left just as abruptly as he had come in. He knew where he was heading, but wasn't entirely sure why.
It didn't take him long to get there. Her car wasn't out front, but he decided to take his chances anyway. He got out of his vehicle and paused, casting a quick glance at the bloodstain on the lines in the road. Such a scene would bother anyone else, but he just passed it by. Now he understood the ambulance he had seen on the way.
He stepped up to her door and paused for a second before knocking. He wasn't sure this was a good idea, but it was too late to change his mind.
I just want to belong.
He wanted her to open the door and smile at him. She would ask him in, and he would invite her out. She would smile again and agree, and things would work out between the two of them. They'd go for picnics in the park near his apartment, and they'd take trips to California or Texas to visit their families. They'd get married eventually, and she would forget all about this life and about Grissom. The world would drop away and it would just be the two of them. And maybe they'd be happy.
He stood outside her door and listened to the darkness of the house. Her car wasn't out front. She wasn't home.
His face fell as he turned to head back to his car. He turned the key in the ignition and punched the button on the radio. Nick cringed as an old country western tune blared through the speakers, and wondered who had been playing with the settings.
What a stereotype. The Texan and his country music.
It didn't take too long to get home, though he couldn't have told the difference anyway. It was bright and sunny outside, but Nick's heart felt dead.
He walked in and pressed the playback message button on his answering machine. The first was from a credit card company and the second from a cable place. He quickly stopped the second before it could continue. He had no intention of ever getting cable again. The third was from Warrick, and it almost made him smile.
"Hey Nick, it's me. Just wanted to see if you were interested in catching the game with me. I know it's on tape and all, but it'd still be cool to just chill. Well, just stop by if you get this before it gets too late."
Nick smiled a little, though inside his heart was still frozen and he knew without ever needing to ask that he had not been Warrick's first choice that day.
He picked up a picture from the stand and studied it for a second before setting it back down, grabbing his keys, and walking out again. The picture showed his family surrounding a giant Christmas tree in their family room, everyone smiling and hugging. There wasn't a happier scene, especially not from Vegas.
Maybe I don't belong here.
He would deal with the loneliness, but not today.
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From this second story window
I can hear the church bells calling out my name
The table is set for one
Even angels would be homesick in this forsaken town
-The Ataris -'Unopened Letter to the World' -
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Author's Note: I apologize if that was terrible. I'm not that good at writing Nick's character because, aside from Warrick, I have the least in common with his character than the others. Well, I hope you're enjoying this little mini-series so far, and if you have any comments or suggestions, email me or leave a review. The next chapter should be up tomorrow.
