Chapter Six : Missing You
It was early Friday morning. Sometimes Eric arrived early before anyone was scheduled just to have a little quiet time,to relax and to think. She would be here today ,not just for an hour but for almost three to four hours. He found comfort in the details of making sure everthing was ready Though Eric admitted to himself the only time he did this was when something was troubling him.
For the past week he could not stop thinking about about Jamie. I guess I really do miss her more than I was willing to admit to myself.As he walked through the building he remembered the very last time he had talked to Jamie alone. It was about two weeks before she died. She was now completely bedridden, she was very weak and slept most of the time. She could barely eat solid foods and she had to be feed mostly through a tube.What Eric remembered most though was that despite the pain during the last two weeks she was still the same always caring , always compassionate.
Eric had stopped by too see how Landon and Belinda were holding up. He had heard from Reverend Sullivan that they all three had a pretty rough night and it would only get rougher. Reverend Sullivan thought she had only maybe two weeks left through his tears as he talked to Eric.
As he stood in front of the door to Landons and Jamie house he hesitated. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Landon and Belinda both most be exhausted but then Eric thought to himself Jamies dying when will it ever be a good time. As Eric quietly knocked on the door. When Landon opened the door he was suprised at the way he looked. He looked like he had not slept for twenty fours. Landon didn't even seem to have enough energy to give their usual greeting to each other.
" Hey Landon, Hows it going ?"
" Im doing okay."
" How are you holding up? I heard you had a rough night.
" It was a pretty rough night but Jamies resting comfortably now."
" Thats nice to hear, Wheres Belinda at ?"
" She out doing some shopping for us."
" You look exhausted Landon, Why don't you get some sleep Ill stay with Jamie."
" I can't "
" Look Landon your not going to do yourself or Jamie for that matter if you collapse from exhaustion." Landon looked away, " I can't after last night I realized how close I came to losing her. She so weak Eric and Im afraid , so afraid of not being here when she when she........." Landon could not bring himself to say the words when she dies.Tears begin to fill Landons eyes unable to hold back any longer.
" I love her so much Eric and the thought of me not being here in case she leaves us is just unbearable" " Look Landon your tired, exhausted, your emotionally spent after last night, you need to get some sleep. Ill stay with her and if anything happens Ill get you right away. She needs you Landon but you won't do her any good if you break down in front of her."
Landon took a deep breathe then let out a deep sigh. " Your right Eric I guess I wont be doing the both of us any good if I don't get some sleep. Ill be right across the hall if you need anything or anything changes. Thanks man. " As he opened the door to the other room and stepped in.closing the door behind him.
As he quietly opened the door to Landon and Jamies bedroom he heard the soft sound of oyxgen being pumped. He had not seen Jamie not that long ago but he was kind of taken aback by what he saw. She looked looked pale so very pale and he could tell she lost a lot of weight. He pulled up a chair closer to the bed and took her hand gently in his as he watched her breathe. Her eyes were closed and her hands were warm to the touch. As he looked at her he felt a quiet sadness overcome him. Why her Lord and why Landon. He had no answers and to this day he was still looking. Maybe thats why he never quite found his faith as Jamie, Landon and Belinda had done.
She stirred slightly then her eyes opened " :Landon.......Landon " she called out weakly. " Hey Sunshine Its me Eric nice to see you up I was wondering if you were planning on spending the whole day in bed " he said trying to sound cheerful.as he leaned in closer." Would you like me to get him hes sleeping but if you need him."
" No thats okay" Jamie replied " What time is it "
" ten o clock in the morning "
": ten o clock and Landons sleeping " Jamie closed her eyes and started to cry.
" What is it Jamie, whats wrong Are you okay?"
" Oh Eric I feel feel so helpless. Sometimes I wish it was just over with. That that Im such a burden but then I see Landons face, his smile when he sees me I see the love in his eyes and I just love him so much. Im so happy just to have one more day with him but then I realize I wont have that many days with him and I feel so sad " Jamie started to cry again.
At first Eric did not know what to say, Finally he took Jamie in his arms as he felt her body rack with uncontrollable sobs. Its okay Jamie just let it out Im here for you I will always be here for you for Landon. Eric felt himself tearing up as he tried to hold back. All that matters to Landon.to everyone is that you are still here.
As he sat there holding Jamie time itself seemed to be slowing down. Nothing else seemed to matter but Jamie. Eventually she stopped crying and Eric looked at her she was smiling as he brushed the tears away from her eyes." Feeling Better " asked Eric.
" Thank you Eric......I dont know what to say, Im just glad your here.He felt his own tears begin to form as he quickly hugged her to hide his own tears from her wishing he could do something for her." No problem Jamie " as he layed her back down again. Eric still had her hand " Jamie I have to tell you something...........Jamie " . Eric looked at her she had fallen asleep again.
He whispered softly " Im sorry Jamie so sorry for everything Im sorry for the way I treated you all these years. Im sorry that your sick you deserve better. I wish, I wish I had a chance to know you better. I'm happy that you Landon found each other. Erics thought were interupted by the soft tapping at the door as some of the staff arrived, well its time to get to work as Eric went to the front door to unlock it.
It was early Friday morning. Sometimes Eric arrived early before anyone was scheduled just to have a little quiet time,to relax and to think. She would be here today ,not just for an hour but for almost three to four hours. He found comfort in the details of making sure everthing was ready Though Eric admitted to himself the only time he did this was when something was troubling him.
For the past week he could not stop thinking about about Jamie. I guess I really do miss her more than I was willing to admit to myself.As he walked through the building he remembered the very last time he had talked to Jamie alone. It was about two weeks before she died. She was now completely bedridden, she was very weak and slept most of the time. She could barely eat solid foods and she had to be feed mostly through a tube.What Eric remembered most though was that despite the pain during the last two weeks she was still the same always caring , always compassionate.
Eric had stopped by too see how Landon and Belinda were holding up. He had heard from Reverend Sullivan that they all three had a pretty rough night and it would only get rougher. Reverend Sullivan thought she had only maybe two weeks left through his tears as he talked to Eric.
As he stood in front of the door to Landons and Jamie house he hesitated. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Landon and Belinda both most be exhausted but then Eric thought to himself Jamies dying when will it ever be a good time. As Eric quietly knocked on the door. When Landon opened the door he was suprised at the way he looked. He looked like he had not slept for twenty fours. Landon didn't even seem to have enough energy to give their usual greeting to each other.
" Hey Landon, Hows it going ?"
" Im doing okay."
" How are you holding up? I heard you had a rough night.
" It was a pretty rough night but Jamies resting comfortably now."
" Thats nice to hear, Wheres Belinda at ?"
" She out doing some shopping for us."
" You look exhausted Landon, Why don't you get some sleep Ill stay with Jamie."
" I can't "
" Look Landon your not going to do yourself or Jamie for that matter if you collapse from exhaustion." Landon looked away, " I can't after last night I realized how close I came to losing her. She so weak Eric and Im afraid , so afraid of not being here when she when she........." Landon could not bring himself to say the words when she dies.Tears begin to fill Landons eyes unable to hold back any longer.
" I love her so much Eric and the thought of me not being here in case she leaves us is just unbearable" " Look Landon your tired, exhausted, your emotionally spent after last night, you need to get some sleep. Ill stay with her and if anything happens Ill get you right away. She needs you Landon but you won't do her any good if you break down in front of her."
Landon took a deep breathe then let out a deep sigh. " Your right Eric I guess I wont be doing the both of us any good if I don't get some sleep. Ill be right across the hall if you need anything or anything changes. Thanks man. " As he opened the door to the other room and stepped in.closing the door behind him.
As he quietly opened the door to Landon and Jamies bedroom he heard the soft sound of oyxgen being pumped. He had not seen Jamie not that long ago but he was kind of taken aback by what he saw. She looked looked pale so very pale and he could tell she lost a lot of weight. He pulled up a chair closer to the bed and took her hand gently in his as he watched her breathe. Her eyes were closed and her hands were warm to the touch. As he looked at her he felt a quiet sadness overcome him. Why her Lord and why Landon. He had no answers and to this day he was still looking. Maybe thats why he never quite found his faith as Jamie, Landon and Belinda had done.
She stirred slightly then her eyes opened " :Landon.......Landon " she called out weakly. " Hey Sunshine Its me Eric nice to see you up I was wondering if you were planning on spending the whole day in bed " he said trying to sound cheerful.as he leaned in closer." Would you like me to get him hes sleeping but if you need him."
" No thats okay" Jamie replied " What time is it "
" ten o clock in the morning "
": ten o clock and Landons sleeping " Jamie closed her eyes and started to cry.
" What is it Jamie, whats wrong Are you okay?"
" Oh Eric I feel feel so helpless. Sometimes I wish it was just over with. That that Im such a burden but then I see Landons face, his smile when he sees me I see the love in his eyes and I just love him so much. Im so happy just to have one more day with him but then I realize I wont have that many days with him and I feel so sad " Jamie started to cry again.
At first Eric did not know what to say, Finally he took Jamie in his arms as he felt her body rack with uncontrollable sobs. Its okay Jamie just let it out Im here for you I will always be here for you for Landon. Eric felt himself tearing up as he tried to hold back. All that matters to Landon.to everyone is that you are still here.
As he sat there holding Jamie time itself seemed to be slowing down. Nothing else seemed to matter but Jamie. Eventually she stopped crying and Eric looked at her she was smiling as he brushed the tears away from her eyes." Feeling Better " asked Eric.
" Thank you Eric......I dont know what to say, Im just glad your here.He felt his own tears begin to form as he quickly hugged her to hide his own tears from her wishing he could do something for her." No problem Jamie " as he layed her back down again. Eric still had her hand " Jamie I have to tell you something...........Jamie " . Eric looked at her she had fallen asleep again.
He whispered softly " Im sorry Jamie so sorry for everything Im sorry for the way I treated you all these years. Im sorry that your sick you deserve better. I wish, I wish I had a chance to know you better. I'm happy that you Landon found each other. Erics thought were interupted by the soft tapping at the door as some of the staff arrived, well its time to get to work as Eric went to the front door to unlock it.
