FLCL : Beyond Real Disclaimer: I don't own any of this not even myself (I Sold my self to satin for a copy of FLCL;. DAMN IT SHOULD have ASK FOR MORE. )

My life is so damned boring. Nothing ever happens in my little backwater assed town. Day after day of the same dull assed crap. DAMN IT, What I'd give for some EXITMENT...

lame opening scene:

In an upsettingly average upper lower middle class neighborhood, we find an extra lame little house. And from the shit box of a house (really it nice but that's not the point) emerges a massive shadowy figure.

"Damn it, I hope that Flaky ASS mailman has passed today"

The Shadow slyly walks to the mailbox and into the light of day.

"God Summer Sucks"

-the scene stops, fades to b&w and pans in on the figure-

NAME: NICK T TRIPLE A AKA: TULKEN ( da token black guy) AGE: 17 HIEGHT: 78in WIEGHT: 250lb(God I'm huge) SEX: please (NO Really I'm A guy) RACE: black (WELL WHAT DID YOU THINK I'M DA TOKEN BLACK GUY)

-the scene restarts- "What the..." Nick eyes the surroundings with suspicion, then continues to the mailbox and pull out a huge pile of mail and begins sorting through it.

"Junk, junk, crap, bill, pay check, oh my manga." Nick thinks, while throwing the junk mail to the floor.

"Ohh what are these" eyeing a small assortment of packages. "DAMN that FUCKING ANIME OF THE MONTH CLUB, THEY CONSPIRE WITH THAT BATERED ASSED MAIL MAN TO SEENED ME A WHOLE YEARS WORTH OF DVDS AT ONCE, LEAVING ME HIGH AND DRY THE REST OF TH YEAR. GOD DAMN IT!!!!" Nick make his trade mark nose grab head shake of disapproval, with a short string of horribly garbled profanities, then shrugs and retreats back into the house back to hi filthy room and lays down on the bed.

"Well, Well, Well, What do we have here, Trigun, Case Closed, Inuyasha, Naruto, Hellsing, volume 1, 2 and 3 of Flcl. Yess today is not a bust. No what ta do now " A disturbing grin crosses is face as his nose begins to bleed profusely down his face. (Wait he's laying down hows that work. Well to late. U RED IT U CANT UNREAD IT. evil laugh number 4, Umm number 4)

Nick grabs his phone and call all da ladies.(Really just 2, God hy did I say this, grads nose and shakes head in shame)"Come on, your sure you cant come by" a cloud of shame and sorrow forms over Nick's head. So he jumps into the shower to wash away the shame from himself. "DAMN alone again, nothing left but to drown in some anime, I Guess I'll watch FlCl , it's supposed to be good"

3 days later:

"Oh my GOD, That was afskhdalihglfkdbkjsgadjgsdlkjglkasglksbgdlskhg"
Translation: sweet matha-fucker da was better sex and drug, hell
every thing, I need to die now it not getting better than this. "I wish my live could be that cool"( famous last words) veerrrrrrr "GOD I need a drink" verrrrrr eeeeeekkk sakeeerrr Nick walk to the mini fridge and grabs some orange juice (I really like OJ but it makes me a little dizzy) VERRRR HONK HOCK CASH BOOOM Nick takes a sip of his sweet nectar and looks for that damned VERRR sound.

BOOOOM

Nick is blown to the floor as the wall of his room explodes

The scene fades to white then black

DAMN IT, MY HEAD

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED Opens his eyes and sees a shadowy woman leaning down over him
WHO THE HELL IS THIS? The shadowy woman comes into focus as she moves in for a kiss
WHAT IS THIS CHICK DOING? Their lips meet
YESSSS! The shadowy girl begins CPR

"WHAT THE ARE YOU DOING" throwing the Shadowy Girl off himself and into a patch of light, revealing the mysterious Haruko (finally this was getting far to much about me and not at all flcl) as she pulls her bass out of nowhere to go in for the kill.

Bullet-time: Haruko swings down with full force at nicks head. But nick throws his hand up to stop the bass moments before it crushes in his skull, then acrobatically jumps from under Haruko's bass to land perfectly across the room (really he is squeezed into the air by he force of the blow and is shot cowardly across the room)

Real- time:
Damn that was sweet (cool). One more thing to take off my list of life goals. No more pretending to be in bullet time. WAIT, WHAT THE HELL "Now who the FUCK are you and WHY the hell is there a 20 foot hole in my wall?"

And for the first time Nick notices the mega hot Asian goddess standing in front of him. She had amazing cotton candy pink hair and lime green eyes, plus she had on a skin tight leather riding suit, with a red and white long sleeve jacket, black pants and knee high boots. sprong A significant trail of blood ran from nick's nose. PLEASE GOD tell me she is NAKED under there.(HE'S A PERVERT, PERVERT!)

"The names Haruko" she replies in her slightly abrasive high-pitched American voice (not the great Japanese one).
I know that name from somewhere "That explains you but what the hell is with that damned hole" "Cursing is bad." "So!" "Can I stay over to night?" "What, NO. Now what's with that hole" "Bad brakes." "Bad, what?" "Many mistakes." "MANY?" "One way street, Left turn only, Yield to traffic, DEAD END."(the four street signs near my house) "DAMN IT, SHUT UP!?!" "What's my name?" "God I need a drink." "Apple core" "Baltimore" "Who's you friend?" "ME, CRAP!" A blue blur flies towards nick and knocks him to the floor once more.

45 minutes Later:

Groggily Nick sits up and grabs his nose and shakes his head all to familiarly.
THIS CRAP IS ONLY JUST GETTING STARTED, I KNOW IT "Hay You Haruwhatsit throw my orange juice to me." Haruko grabs the juice from the fridge and toss it to Nick, who take a sip and he passes out.

Well that it for this fist chapter it may suck some but its only a first try it will get better hopefully. Bye Ps. Read and review I need some help here Pss. What the hell is a flamer any way