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"Harry Potter and the On Going Struggle"

By SillyGillie

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Summary- Harry Potter's 6th year full of drama, mysteries, angst, and romance. Harry promises never to forget the people he's lost, the year goes on and more people are dying each day. Harry is trying to master his Occulmency along with NEWT classes, some interesting new classes, quidditch training, a new DADA teacher, DA still in progress, and the threat of the Prophecy grows closer each day. I hope you like it.

A/N– I am currently re-posting all of my first chapters, due to numerous grammar related errors!

A/N- Hello all! Thanks so much for all the reviews, this chapter is a bit longer than most. A/N continued at the bottom! Don't read it first, spoilers for this chapter are in it!

Disclaimer- Nope still no British accent...I can't be far though, I feel it...

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"Harry" A voice called and a finger poked his back, making Harry fall off the fence and land rather ungracefully in a crouch with his wand out. He looked up straight into the brown eyes of his past professor, a former marauder, one of his father's best friends, and felt his face go red as he straightened up.

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"Remus" Harry said as Remus jumped over the fence, he had a lot of agility for an older person, Harry suspected it was the werewolf in him still. Suddenly and quite unexpectedly Harry was wrapped in a suffocating hug, barely able to breathe he croaked,

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"Hello" and awkwardly patted Remus' back. He had hardly received such a hug from only two others before, Molly Weasley and Sirius, but Sirius was gone. He suspected that his parents gave him tons, from stories he had heard from Sirius, he was a very loved baby, but that all changed with Voldemort.

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Remus suddenly pulled back. "Sorry" he said and looked him up and down. "It's good to see you" Remus said.

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"You to" Harry smiled his first smile in awhile.

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"I haven't had much company I've been stuck in Grimmauld place, with only Kreacher and myself, I can only imagine how Sirius felt being stuck in that place for months." Remus said softly. It seemed that he wouldn't have spoken about Sirius, if it hadn't been for Harry.

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Harry was struck he couldn't imagine living in Grimmauld place with memories of Sirius all over, Remus was his friend for such a long time it must have been killing him.

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"Oh I didn't know" Harry said

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"Harry, I didn't expect you to know" Remus said

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"Oh, er alright" Harry responded awkwardly

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"Well how are you?" Remus asked sincerely

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"I'm fine" Harry said firmly he was tired of people asking him that question it was like they expected him to break into little pieces in seconds.

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"No you're not" Remus said looking into Harry's eyes.

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"You have the same eyes as your mum, they give you away" Remus explained to Harry's imploring look. "No one was ever able to tell what her moods were except me, and your dad of course. I was able to look past the captivating green" Remus explained further.

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"Oh" Harry responded simply he didn't know why Remus was telling him all this stuff, he supposed it was because of him being alone for a while.

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"So...how are you?" Remus asked again.

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"I'm fine, I'm not glass I won't break if I fall" Harry said firmly again he didn't want to sound mean Remus had suffered the same loss he had, but why did Remus expect him to open up to him suddenly?

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"Sorry, I know you're not glass, but we're worried about you" Remus responded.

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"We're?" Harry asked

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"The order and all" Remus answered

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"Oh well you can tell them I'm fine" He said then added as Remus was about to object, "because I am."

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"Alright then" Remus said slowly and they became silent. After an awkward silence Harry spoke up,

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"Here" Harry said, giving Remus his key for his vault and his school supply list.

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"Thanks" Remus said "I'll give you your things when you go to the Weasley's" Remus said and pocketed the key and list.

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"Alright" Harry said

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"I'll have a charm be put on your robes so they fit right" Remus said

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"Ok" Harry said nodding his head. After another awkward pause Harry yet again spoke up

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"So why did you want to meet with me?" He asked tentively he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

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"Oh right" Remus said and put his hands deeply in his pocket as if prepping himself for what he was about to say.

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This was definitely not the man Harry remembered last year. Harry was sure he wouldn't like what was about to be said as Remus opened his mouth and shut it again.

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"Harry" He started then paused, "Harry, Dumbledore got Fudge to give, to give well, Sirius, a..a pardon. It's going to appear in all the newspapers tomorrow, the whole story." He finished finally.

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Harry sucked in his breath, of everything he expected this was not it. He looked up at Remus, "After he's already gone?" Harry said angrily.

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"Yes" Remus answered Harry supposed that Remus had gone through the same thing when he found out.

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"He's free" Harry said more to his self then to Remus.

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"Yes free at last" Remus said softly.

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"Is that all" Harry asked biting back his feelings, he could feel his face getting red, whether from anger or anguish he wasn't certain.

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"No, not all" Remus said "Were going to have a memorial for him, you know a funeral" Remus said

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A funeral... he had never been to one, not even his parents the Dursley's hadn't brought him. A funeral for Sirius, his godfather, who they wrongly imprisoned, nearly drove him insane, and then killed. No I killed him. I made him come.

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"Harry" Remus asked

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"Yes?" Harry said

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"Well you can come there are going to be Aurors stationed around the funeral home." Remus responded.

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"They wouldn't have let me go?" Harry asked outraged

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"It doesn't matter, the point is that you are able to come" Remus said. "Do you want to?"

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"Of course" Harry said immediately

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"Good I had hoped so" Remus said relief evident in his voice.

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"Would you like to read?" Remus asked

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"Erm what?" Harry asked having never been to church.

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"Would you like to read from the bible, and say a few words about Sirius to the congregation?" Remus asked tentively. Say a few words about his godfather, whom he had killed, in front of other people. And read from the bible.

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"It's a wizard funeral" Remus said after Harry was silent for awhile.

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"What's the difference from a Muggle one?" Harry asked quietly

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"Oh...you've never been to a funeral" Remus asked as Harry shook his head no.

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"Oh well I expect the Dursley's have never taken you to church either?" Remus asked as again Harry shook his head no, he noticed that Remus' eyes got darker as he said the Dursley's name. He was probably as much against the Dursley's as Sirius was.

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"Well, in a wizards funeral it's relatively the same, except at the end the preacher recites an ancient spell that releases the magic from the body to give to a muggle-born who will turn into a witch or wizard" Remus explained Harry looked up fascinated.

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"So that's how Hermione's a witch and some muggle-borns aren't?" Harry asked

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"Precisely" Remus said as if in a classroom.

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"Well Harry, do you want to read?" Remus asked again.

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"Are you" Harry asked, he felt like a little kid saying 'I'll only do it if you do.'

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"Well, yes, I am" Remus said sounding as if he had just made up his mind right then and there.

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"Alright" Harry said and hung his head, then he looked up "I'll read and say things"

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"Good" Remus said smiling. "Well I have to go" Remus said

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"I'll tell Dumbledore your decision" He added and quickly gave Harry another bone crushing hug and apparated away with a pop and Harry was left standing alone by the edge of the park.

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Harry stood there for some time trying to digest what Remus had told him, the ministry, after Sirius' death, would finally listen to Dumbledore and pardon Sirius. Harry would go to his funeral with tons of other people and read in front of them, all of them.

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'Well,' he supposed 'I guess this is where the Gryffindor courage comes in.' And in response he nodded his head. Suddenly Harry cursed himself, he had forgotten to ask what date it was.

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"Bloody idiot" Harry cursed himself out loud kicking a stone into the fence. He jumped the fence and walked slowly away from the park.

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When he arrived back in his room, he was no longer hungry. He sat down on his bed, he looked around his room and noticed that yet again he had received more letters. He lied down on the bed no longer caring what his friends had to say, no longer wanting to read their letters of sympathy, he no longer wanted to be the cause of others grief, no longer wanting to exist, with those thoughts swimming in his head he fell into a deep slumber.

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He awoke to the tapping of an owl on his window. Harry turned over and looked to see what the cause of the noise that was pounding in his ears was from. He sat up slowly and looked at an owl hovering outside his window, this was once again a strange occurrence for Privet Drive to have for Harry was no longer allowed to receive any owl posts.

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Harry looked at the owl skeptically, then again if it had managed to pass through all the wards that the Order members had put on number four Privet drive then he supposed that it was enough.

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He crawled off his bed and attempted to open his window he had tried from the outside and it seemed to have been stuck. He pulled hard and flew back as the window opened easily, he looked up at the owl from his position on the floor and still didn't recognize it. He stared at it for awhile till the owl finally hooted irritably waking up Hedwig who fluffed her feathers in return to being awoken from her slumbers.

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Harry jumped up from the floor and walked over from the owl then proceeding to untie the message from the owl's leg. He glanced down at the name it was addressed to and saw his name in a faintly familiar script he looked closer and realized that he recognized the script from that of one of his former professors, Remus had sent him a letter.

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He quickly opened the letter and read it through, Remus had picked up his school supplies and had dropped them off at the Weasley's along with some new school robes, he also told Harry that Sirius' funeral would take place on August 20th four days away, Harry saw as he glanced at his calendar. After the funeral he would be going to stay with the Weasley's. The letter also told Harry that one of the Order members would be picking him up in a ministry car and to have his trunk prepared.

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He looked around the room slowly and saw what a mess it had become. Aunt Petunia had refused to set foot in his room since last year, this time however he had been keeping up on Hedwig's cage for his sake and also hers. As he looked to Hedwig's cage, he saw that the other owl had joined her, Harry groaned as he saw the other bird ruffle its feathers in a sort of flirtatious way, and then go closer to one another.

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'Great' Harry thought sarcastically, 'I suppose I can leave Hedwig with Remus for the rest of the summer.' Harry thought and decided to write Remus and ask him. Hedwig could do nothing here.

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Harry continued to read and saw that Remus had included his dress robes for the funeral, all he had to do was take out the tiny box that was enclosed in the letter and say 'gorgio' and the robes would go to normal size. Harry took out the little box and placed it on his desk, he would open it when he needed to, he didn't need the reminder hanging on his door or in his closet for four days.

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Harry wrote off a quick letter thanking Remus for getting his things and requested that Hedwig stay at his house because their owls seemed to be getting along. Harry shook his head swiftly with a horrified look on his face and quickly tied the letter on Hedwig's leg refusing to make eye contact with his owl. He told the other to fly off with her and watched as they soared out the window flying in circles with one another and finally till they were no longer in sight. He sat down on his bed heavily surprisingly he had had no dreams, which had come as a real shocker. He hoped lady luck was still with him as he drifted off to sleep again.

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A/N (continued)- Ok well here it is, as you just read I am making Sirius have a funeral...I know that JK will most likely not have a funeral, nor will she clear Sirius' name probably. But hey I guess this is where my poetic license comes in, even though this isn't poetry...but hey. And plus Sirius was one of my favorite characters in the Harry Potter series since the time he came in, and I thought it proper that everyone should have a last chance to say goodbye to Sirius. And plus the idea just took off on it's own. So there you go...

Also, a quick reason behind the madness, when Remus says "yes free at last" it's from MLK Jr's speech, everytime I read it I start to laugh because I hear MLK Jr's voice saying it...well there you are!

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Thanks so much for the reviews:

I-love-sirus73- LoL thanks! Thanks for reading my story!!

Arya1- Thanks so much for trying to help me, though I fear I have no idea what you said. Plus on my Dell it came with WordPerfect and that in itslef I absolutly hate...but ff.net won't let me post it from there so I had to transfer it to this stupid notepad....needless to say it's a bit off and it doesn't have double spaces as it would have had on word, nor would it have been this sloppy! Thanks so much for trying to help, and thanks for reviewing my story! :-D

Galen Woolfmoon- Thanks so much!! I like your name it's really cool! Anyways thanks for the review! Alright I'm a little confused but I guess I'll just ask you what you meant...ok here when you said "If you just work on the mistakes (if there are any) it could be really great," ok so do you spot any mistakes or er I dunno. On word it doesn't say there are any grammar or spelling mistakes...I'm so confused. Hmm is it really in the Harry Hermione section, that's really weird..I just looked Harry and Hermione stories to see if you were correct and it was there....hmmm strange. Then I went to look at Harry and Ginny and it was there as well, so I'm really at a loss on where ff.net got the idea to put it in one of thos subjects. But my story, much later, will have Harry and Ginny though only a little because I don't like when stories are dominated by romances, though there will be a little. So I hope you'll continue to read, and if your a die-hard Harry and Hermione shipper it won't be to bad to deal with...cause plus I'm really bad at writing stuff like that, and it all sounds a bit stupid, so there won't be a lot! I assure you! Thanks so much for reviewing my story!

Kemenran- Hmm wondering what Remus is gonna say to Harry eh? While I hope you got your answer :-D!

star estrella- Aww thanks so much your making me blush!! Here's the next chapter!! ;-)

DoubleSakuraS- thanks so much for sending me that letter! Your too kind!!

howler- thanks so much, but you'll probably see that as you read it, it's not as long as you may think.

geezlouise- LoL Sarah, jeeze not any better than here...aww I feel sad. No I'm just kidding Emily's stories are awesome!! I love them too! Sure thing, I'll keep writing as a matter of fact I wrote just another chapter the other day...lol

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Stay tuned for- "Saying Goodbye"

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Au revoir