Chapter Thirteen : Untitled

After Amy had left Belinda had continued seeing her patients till it was about 5:00 pm. By 5:30 everyone had left except for her and Sarah.who was sitting at the front desk finishing her paperwork and Belinda was in her office going through some medical records but mostly she was thinking. Belinda could still not believe she had told Amy about Jamie but whats done was done she thought and it was too late now and whatever happened happened, she would just have to have faith that it would all turn out okay in the end.

As she sat there her phone rang interrupting her thoughts. She quickly picked it up and said hello." Hello Belinda I have a call from Amy Johnson. She said its important and needs to talk to you." Amy Johnson said Belinda. Yes she said she really needs to talk to you. Sarah could hear the apprehension, the tentiveness in her voice. She knew something was wrong , that something was bothering her the last few weeks.but she couldin't figure out what was wrong. The only thing that seemed out of place was that Landon had not been around or that Belinda had not called him.and Belinda had not said anything about it . In fact Belinda had not said anything for five minutes , so Sarah just said If you rather not talk to her I could tell her your unavailabe or that you already left.

No its okay I just need a few minutes to finish what Im doing so after I hang up transfer her call to me in five minutes then she thought only five minutes I dont think five hours would be enough time as she hung up her phone trying to compose her thoughts , her feelings. When her phone finally rang she let it ring once twice then three times before she finally picked it up. Hello was all she could say even though she knew who it was.

Hello this Doctor Reynolds speaking."How may I help you" ? was all she could say" then she realized how stupid she most sound considering she that it was Amy and know doudt Sarah probaly told her that she was expecting her call.

Hello Doctor Reynolds its me Amy. Im just calling to see when it would be a good time to get together and talk and I was thinking about tonight around seven. I mean I know its short notice and all but I'm really kind of anxious to get together and talk and I really can't wait any longer please.

Belindas first reaction was to say no that it was too soon she was really not ready for this but Amys voice sounded so sincere so honest kind and gentle she could not help but think of Jamie and what she would have done.and she found herself saying yes reluctantly.

You dont know how relieved I am to hear you say that.

She decided that it would be best if they met at her house so she gave Amy her home phone and address and directions to her house.

After Belinda hung up the phone she glanced at her watch . It was now 5:45 and she told Amy to come over at 6:30 if she was going to make it she would have to leave now. She stood up and put on her coat and picked uo her purse as she left her office straight to the front office were Sarah was working . Sarah she said as she looked up she was kind of suprised to see Belinda standing there with her coat on and purse in hand.

So your leaving ?

Yes I really need to leave now.

Sarah was full of questions but she just said " Well take care And I will see you monday then.

Okay said Belinda Take care of yoir self she said as she left quickly.

Belinda pulled into her driveway at asbout 6:00 She opened her garage and quickly went inside her house was modest decorated her house was well organiozed but it was mostly that way Belinda spent very little time at home she was either at the center seeing patients or at the hospitol or doing research into causes and cures for chilhood leukemia which left her with very little free time time that she spent mostly with landon and sometimes Eric. Not much food in refrigerator either.

Belinda paced nervousley in her livung room waiting for Amy to show up . At 6:45 Amy still had not shown up and by this time she stopped pacing and sat down wondering why she was late she had her phone home number so if she was late she would have probaly called unless she changed her mind about seeing her and woulod probaly call later . Suddenly she hear a soft cautious knocking at her front door In fact it was so soft at first she wondered if she even heard it

She opened it and saw Amy standing there, she flashed back to when Jamie came to her house for dinnder the one and only time when she could still get around it was the last time that it was to of them had tallked just by themselves the two of them alone and though she did see Jamie after that dinner they were never alone together there was always some body around visiting her before she died when she thought back to that day she felt a sadness overcome her.As she stood there she realized that she had said anything to Amy that the both of them were just standing there Finally Amy just said Hi Im sorry Im late but I got kinda lost. Thats okay I guess all that matters is that your finally here but you could have called . No I just took the wrong street is all but by the time i figured it but it took a lot longer thenm i figured to bet back then I thought I said it was okay.

No hostilty there Amy thought to herself sarcastically but still Belinda just stood there in the doorway not saying anything not inviting her in. Maynbe this was a big mistake Maybe she should just leave . Instead she just said So can I come in or you just going to make me wait . She meant to say it as a joke but it came out differently her tone the way she said it it sounded sarcastic almost mean plus she realized she wasnt smiling and said it to serious not in a playful way.

Well since your here I guess I dont have a choice in the matter . This is not going well maybe i shouldint have been doing this maybe i should have given her more time

Whats the matter afraid to come in.

Im not afraid at all least of all you.she said as she practilly pushed Belinda aside as she went inside. Im not afraid I was just thinking you might need more time before we talked Did you ever think that you might be the one whos afraid.

What do I have to be afraid of ?

Isnt it obvious. I look exactly like Jamie Sullivasn and while I don't know all the facts I have this feeling that Jamie and Landon where close, that they meant a lot to each other but shes gone now and why and not sure of all the details of your relationship with Landon but Ive seen the way you look at him I know you feel something for him and I get this feeling he feels something for you but something is stopping you .

Please stop Belinda just blurted out all of the sudden were ...were just friends nothing more and yes Jamie meant a lot to Landon and to me also as Belinda just as suddenly stopped talking and sat down on the sofa. You seem awfullly sure about what you just said almost too sure almost like you reversed it thousands of times in your head in your thoughts as she sat down next to her wondering what she say next maybe a change of the subject matter would be better so she asked. So tell me about Jamie Sullivan?

It was so long ago, me , Landon, Jamie , Eric.We all grew up together in the same town Beufort North Carolina We all went to the same schools attended the same classes . Even when we were just kids we were friends but thing happens when you get older become teenagers suddenly things become more important and the things that didnt matter as kids suddenly matter when you get older. but Jamie, Jamie stayed the same and we just started treating her differently not all at once just but little by little . We changed we started seeing less and less of her. We started treating her like an outcast at least in our group we became the popular bunch while Jamie didnt believe in those things which we represented. Anyaways pretty soon we were not talking to her then we started making fun of her because of the way she dresses the way she acted what she believed in. Looking back now I never realized how she most of felt suddenly being abandoned by people who thought you were her friends and not having a mom to grow up with must have been rough but Jamie had a faith a strength and she didnt care what people thought of her.

Anyways things pretty much stayed the same all the way through high school till the senior year. We all went one way and Jamie went her way. She started singing in church, volunteered for the red cross, joined the star and planets and was in the drama club. She was really smart,talented and probaly would have suceeded at anything she tried it wasnt till years later that she wanted to become a doctor but then then she got...... . " She found out she had leukemia" said Amy

Yes

So what changed your mind about her, I mean was it the fact that she was sick. No it wasnt that you see.It was more than that Jamie was just Jamie. I changed mind about her long before I knew she had leukemia, that that she was dying .

You see Landon at one time a long time ago he was my boyfriend in high school most popular guy most popular kind of thing. Then one day he broke up with me but I was still in love with him and I always thought I would get him back but then Jamie came along. I tried my best to stop him, to stop them but whatever I did seemed to make them stronger. I admit I was jealous so I did a prank on her.

What was it.

Id rather not say. Lets just say it was something on Jamie and when Landon found out he.....he defended her , protected her even hit one of his best friends and then he walked out taking Jamie with him his arm around her protectivly.comforting her and when I saw that I realized he was in love with her and that I had lost him. I just stood there staring in disbelief almost crying.

I would say that the day we started becoming friends was the day I visited Jamie in the hospitol And kind of just talked to her about things And even after all the things I did to her and said about her she treated me like a friend and never did bring up our past history never asked anything from me not even an apology she waited till I was ready to give which didnt happen till months later at the picnic where that picture was taken.Amy wasnt sure what to say next glancing at clock on the wall Its really getting late And Im sure you have a lot to do tommorow and Belinda replied " and you should be getting a lot more rest because of the seriousness of your condition " as they both stood up heading toward the door.

Well it been nice hasn't it said Amy.

" Yes it has " said Belinda , Maybe we could get togther sometime maybe for lunch.

Id like that I like it very much Amy replied as she walked out of the door so I guess I will see you later so take care of yourself you too and drive safely as she watched Amy leave.

Belinda could not but help but think of Jamie and wondering if it was a mistake to have asked Amy to lunch because in the back of Belindas mind was an uneasy thought that maybe she had asked her because of Jamie and her resemblance to her.