Chapter Fourteen:
Amys Chances
When Amy returned home that wed night after seeing Belinda she noticed that she had a message on her answering machine. When she went to play the message she heard Erics familiar voice.
Hello Amy, " Its me Eric. I need you to give me a call as soon as you get in. Its important that you call me at home you have my number so call me as soon as you get in even if its late. So call me. "
As soon as she heard the message Amy began to feel anxious. Eric probaly had her test results. She now wondered if it would do any good to keep on going. It was probaly her last chance, whether she would live or die.
She picked up her cordless phone and walked over to the couch sitting down just staring at the phone in her hand almost afraid to call and whether it was good news or bad news.Finally she dialed Erics phone number and waited for Eric to answer.
Hello
Hello Eric, It's me Amy , Im just returning your call.
Hello Amy, So how are you doing ?
Fine, How are you ?
Im Feeling okay, Are you having any problems ?
No, Why do you ask ?
Because........... no reason in particular. Well the reason I wanted you to call me is that I have your test results in.
"Oh" was all she could say.
Yes so I really need to talk to you. How about tommorow maybe thu afternoon around 1:00
Amy finally just asked, "Couldin't you just tell me over the phone."
Id rather not, I think it would be best if I talked to you in person.
Amy thought about asking him why but deep down she knew the reason why and for the first time since she had gotten sick she was actually scared, for if it was good news Eric would have told her over the phone and his last comment really frightened her.
Amy was afraid, afraid of knowing her chances of living or dying. Thank you Eric Ill see you tommorow at 1:00.
Okay said Eric Ill see you then.
She turned off the phone stood up and returned the phone to its base then returned to the front of the couch just standing there unsure of what she should do next.Finally she sat down her hands trembling, kind of hugging herself, her eyes closed. For the first since she found she was sick she was actually terrified, terrified of dying. She actually found herself losing hope, her faith, her strenght to go on. She slowly slid off the couch till she was sitting on the carpet her hands clasped togther as she felt tears streaming down her face as she said aloud
Dear God , Its me Amy. Please help, I........I don't what to do. Im so afraid.............so alone. My parents are both gone and Im an only child. Why me , why know. I really need your help now. They say you answer all prayers and that sometimes the answer is no. That there is a higher purpose a reason for everything. I would like to believe that. That maybe bad things happen to inspire us, inspire others the way Jamies passing inspired Landon, Belinda and Eric to become doctors, to help so many others. I would hope my passing and my time on earth served a purpose. Amen
The next day Amy woke and just stayed at home. As it got closer to 1:00 she took a shower and got dressed but was really to nervous to eat anything. As she got into her car and as she started driving to the center she was thinking about her mom, her dad, her relationship with them. The last time she talked with them before they went. She also thought the people she knew, her past relationships wondering why she never married and never had children of her own. Looking back she regreted that fact, never making her parents grandparents but they never said anything about it never pressured her. They just wanted her to be happy and now she would never have the chance she thought as she pulled into the centers parking lot found a space and got out of her car walking toward the entrance.
When she walked in she spotted Belinda behind the front desk. When she saw her Belinda walked up to her through the waiting room door.
I didn't know you were coming in today.
Eric called me last night and needed to see me.
Belinda noticed that Amy looked kind of tired almost like she had also been maybe crying all night. " Are you okay ?
Im fine really. Why do you ask ?
Just that you look tired.
Im fine really , really I am don't worry as she turned quickly away from her looking for a place to sit down.
Belinda looked at her worried , not just as a patient but after last night she felt different about her. In which way she didn't exactly know but she was concerned.So she just called out "Amy." and as soon as she said it she stopped.
" Oh God " she thought for when Belinda asked how she was doing she felt herself tearing up.and had to turn quickly to hide her face so she stood there unwilling to face her So she just said " Yes "
Dont forget about us having lunch together. In fact since your here after your finished with Eric maybe we could get together then.
Amy finally turned around looking straight at Belinda. As soon as Belinda saw Amys face she knew something was wrong. She walked up to her and said " Why don't you come with me to my office where we can talk."
Okay
As soon as they got into her office they both sat down on the sofa. Amy had composed herself a little. She had stopped crying but she was still overwrought and her hands were still trembling.
It will be okay, just close your eyes. Take a slow deep breathe, then let it out slowly as Belinda took Amys hands into hers holding them.
Im sorry, I know you have more important things you should be doing.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Thats what Im here for.
Finally she just blurted out " Im dying." Amys hands started to shake again. Belinda held her hands more tightly.
Why would you say such a thing. Did Eric say anything to you ?
No but he said he wanted to see me, that he had my test results but he wouldin't tell me over the phone. Ill understand if you dont want to have lunch with me.
Why would I do such a thing.
Maybe because..........because you might get to know me better and because of Jamie and the fact that Im not well and I see a certain sadness in your eyes every time you look at me.
Im sorry I didn't realize it showed But Amy I see some older patients all the time and most of them I get to know real well and some make and some don't and some I would consider friends.
But Im different because of her.
But your not her. Your two different people.
Do you know that , in your heart do you now that? I just don't want you to go through all that again, any of you. I just dont want to regret us being closer to us being friends.
I think its already to late to worry about that now.
I don't understand what you mean by that.
I mean after last night I would consider you a friend, maybe even a close friend.
Amy was suprised to hear what Belinda had just said. She could not think of anything to say except " Thank you "
No problem
You can do something for me though.
Sure what is it
I really need you to talk to Landon. Not just see him bu talk to him. I kind of feel thats whats going on is my fault.
I really can't think of anything I would want to talk to Landon about.
You know what about
I don't know what you mean.
Just look inside your heart. You know what to do but whatever you do or don't do I at least need you two to become friends again okay.
Okay I promise Now lets go see Eric Im sure he waiting for you.
She could see the hesitation in her eyes. " It will be okay Ill go with you if you like.
Thanks
Come on lets go then as they both stood and headed for the door and to Erics office.
Eric was sitting in his office waiting when he heard a knock at his door.
Yes
Doctor Hunter, I have Amy Johnson with me.
Eric stood up from his desk and walked toward the door and opened it." Hello Amy nice to see you againcome on in and have a seat."
" Thanks Eric " she said as she walked in Eric was suprised to see Belinda coming in behind her.
Hello Eric
Hello Belinda, What are you doing here ?
Im just here to offer moral support.
" Okay then why don't you both have a seat at the desk" as Eric walked with them as he took his seat behind the desk.
Eric sat behind his desk checking his notes and her records for a few minutes. Finally he put his notes down as he looked directly at Amy. Amy your condition has stabilized. You haven't gotten any worse but your also not getting any better. Your doing okay the medications you are taking are still effective however there effectiveness has gone down the last two months but your doing okay for now.
" For now " said Amy as she took Belinda hand holding it.
Yes but your condition will continue to slowly worsen over time. There are different drugs we can use to increase your strenght, more energy to try to give you a normal life for as long as possible.
Amy closed her eyes took a deep breathe and asked " How long ? "
Hard to say maybe six months to a year.
Can anything else be done ?
Your parents are both deceased and you have no siblings so a bone marrow transplant is out if the question and no donor has been found through the registry at least not yet. However their are a number of universitys doing experimental programs involving treatment of leukemia and I am in contact with them And I will let you know. So if you have any questions.
No.........no questions
One more thing I want to know if your okay And To say how sorry I am and call me anytime if you have any questions or problems or any unusual symptoms even if its nothing;
Okay Eric. I just want to thank you for everything you have done for me so far.
No problem he said as he stood up from behind his desk giving Amy a hug as she and Belinda stood up as they all walked toward his door. " Take care of yourself Amy And I will see you later Belinda.
Bye Eric and thank you said Belinda As Eric closed the door behind them.
When Amy returned home that wed night after seeing Belinda she noticed that she had a message on her answering machine. When she went to play the message she heard Erics familiar voice.
Hello Amy, " Its me Eric. I need you to give me a call as soon as you get in. Its important that you call me at home you have my number so call me as soon as you get in even if its late. So call me. "
As soon as she heard the message Amy began to feel anxious. Eric probaly had her test results. She now wondered if it would do any good to keep on going. It was probaly her last chance, whether she would live or die.
She picked up her cordless phone and walked over to the couch sitting down just staring at the phone in her hand almost afraid to call and whether it was good news or bad news.Finally she dialed Erics phone number and waited for Eric to answer.
Hello
Hello Eric, It's me Amy , Im just returning your call.
Hello Amy, So how are you doing ?
Fine, How are you ?
Im Feeling okay, Are you having any problems ?
No, Why do you ask ?
Because........... no reason in particular. Well the reason I wanted you to call me is that I have your test results in.
"Oh" was all she could say.
Yes so I really need to talk to you. How about tommorow maybe thu afternoon around 1:00
Amy finally just asked, "Couldin't you just tell me over the phone."
Id rather not, I think it would be best if I talked to you in person.
Amy thought about asking him why but deep down she knew the reason why and for the first time since she had gotten sick she was actually scared, for if it was good news Eric would have told her over the phone and his last comment really frightened her.
Amy was afraid, afraid of knowing her chances of living or dying. Thank you Eric Ill see you tommorow at 1:00.
Okay said Eric Ill see you then.
She turned off the phone stood up and returned the phone to its base then returned to the front of the couch just standing there unsure of what she should do next.Finally she sat down her hands trembling, kind of hugging herself, her eyes closed. For the first since she found she was sick she was actually terrified, terrified of dying. She actually found herself losing hope, her faith, her strenght to go on. She slowly slid off the couch till she was sitting on the carpet her hands clasped togther as she felt tears streaming down her face as she said aloud
Dear God , Its me Amy. Please help, I........I don't what to do. Im so afraid.............so alone. My parents are both gone and Im an only child. Why me , why know. I really need your help now. They say you answer all prayers and that sometimes the answer is no. That there is a higher purpose a reason for everything. I would like to believe that. That maybe bad things happen to inspire us, inspire others the way Jamies passing inspired Landon, Belinda and Eric to become doctors, to help so many others. I would hope my passing and my time on earth served a purpose. Amen
The next day Amy woke and just stayed at home. As it got closer to 1:00 she took a shower and got dressed but was really to nervous to eat anything. As she got into her car and as she started driving to the center she was thinking about her mom, her dad, her relationship with them. The last time she talked with them before they went. She also thought the people she knew, her past relationships wondering why she never married and never had children of her own. Looking back she regreted that fact, never making her parents grandparents but they never said anything about it never pressured her. They just wanted her to be happy and now she would never have the chance she thought as she pulled into the centers parking lot found a space and got out of her car walking toward the entrance.
When she walked in she spotted Belinda behind the front desk. When she saw her Belinda walked up to her through the waiting room door.
I didn't know you were coming in today.
Eric called me last night and needed to see me.
Belinda noticed that Amy looked kind of tired almost like she had also been maybe crying all night. " Are you okay ?
Im fine really. Why do you ask ?
Just that you look tired.
Im fine really , really I am don't worry as she turned quickly away from her looking for a place to sit down.
Belinda looked at her worried , not just as a patient but after last night she felt different about her. In which way she didn't exactly know but she was concerned.So she just called out "Amy." and as soon as she said it she stopped.
" Oh God " she thought for when Belinda asked how she was doing she felt herself tearing up.and had to turn quickly to hide her face so she stood there unwilling to face her So she just said " Yes "
Dont forget about us having lunch together. In fact since your here after your finished with Eric maybe we could get together then.
Amy finally turned around looking straight at Belinda. As soon as Belinda saw Amys face she knew something was wrong. She walked up to her and said " Why don't you come with me to my office where we can talk."
Okay
As soon as they got into her office they both sat down on the sofa. Amy had composed herself a little. She had stopped crying but she was still overwrought and her hands were still trembling.
It will be okay, just close your eyes. Take a slow deep breathe, then let it out slowly as Belinda took Amys hands into hers holding them.
Im sorry, I know you have more important things you should be doing.
You have nothing to be sorry for. Thats what Im here for.
Finally she just blurted out " Im dying." Amys hands started to shake again. Belinda held her hands more tightly.
Why would you say such a thing. Did Eric say anything to you ?
No but he said he wanted to see me, that he had my test results but he wouldin't tell me over the phone. Ill understand if you dont want to have lunch with me.
Why would I do such a thing.
Maybe because..........because you might get to know me better and because of Jamie and the fact that Im not well and I see a certain sadness in your eyes every time you look at me.
Im sorry I didn't realize it showed But Amy I see some older patients all the time and most of them I get to know real well and some make and some don't and some I would consider friends.
But Im different because of her.
But your not her. Your two different people.
Do you know that , in your heart do you now that? I just don't want you to go through all that again, any of you. I just dont want to regret us being closer to us being friends.
I think its already to late to worry about that now.
I don't understand what you mean by that.
I mean after last night I would consider you a friend, maybe even a close friend.
Amy was suprised to hear what Belinda had just said. She could not think of anything to say except " Thank you "
No problem
You can do something for me though.
Sure what is it
I really need you to talk to Landon. Not just see him bu talk to him. I kind of feel thats whats going on is my fault.
I really can't think of anything I would want to talk to Landon about.
You know what about
I don't know what you mean.
Just look inside your heart. You know what to do but whatever you do or don't do I at least need you two to become friends again okay.
Okay I promise Now lets go see Eric Im sure he waiting for you.
She could see the hesitation in her eyes. " It will be okay Ill go with you if you like.
Thanks
Come on lets go then as they both stood and headed for the door and to Erics office.
Eric was sitting in his office waiting when he heard a knock at his door.
Yes
Doctor Hunter, I have Amy Johnson with me.
Eric stood up from his desk and walked toward the door and opened it." Hello Amy nice to see you againcome on in and have a seat."
" Thanks Eric " she said as she walked in Eric was suprised to see Belinda coming in behind her.
Hello Eric
Hello Belinda, What are you doing here ?
Im just here to offer moral support.
" Okay then why don't you both have a seat at the desk" as Eric walked with them as he took his seat behind the desk.
Eric sat behind his desk checking his notes and her records for a few minutes. Finally he put his notes down as he looked directly at Amy. Amy your condition has stabilized. You haven't gotten any worse but your also not getting any better. Your doing okay the medications you are taking are still effective however there effectiveness has gone down the last two months but your doing okay for now.
" For now " said Amy as she took Belinda hand holding it.
Yes but your condition will continue to slowly worsen over time. There are different drugs we can use to increase your strenght, more energy to try to give you a normal life for as long as possible.
Amy closed her eyes took a deep breathe and asked " How long ? "
Hard to say maybe six months to a year.
Can anything else be done ?
Your parents are both deceased and you have no siblings so a bone marrow transplant is out if the question and no donor has been found through the registry at least not yet. However their are a number of universitys doing experimental programs involving treatment of leukemia and I am in contact with them And I will let you know. So if you have any questions.
No.........no questions
One more thing I want to know if your okay And To say how sorry I am and call me anytime if you have any questions or problems or any unusual symptoms even if its nothing;
Okay Eric. I just want to thank you for everything you have done for me so far.
No problem he said as he stood up from behind his desk giving Amy a hug as she and Belinda stood up as they all walked toward his door. " Take care of yourself Amy And I will see you later Belinda.
Bye Eric and thank you said Belinda As Eric closed the door behind them.
