Negative: Director's Cut
Disclaimer: Who cares?
Author's note: Okay, let's try this again. Doesn't hurt to start from scratch. And I'll get my revenge on that Alliance guy if it's the last thing I do. Which it just might be.
Remember when reviewing: Don't alter your opinion just because you want me to react in a specific way.
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Chapter 1: Negola -
The whole ordeal started at Dr. Eggman's base. Sonic rushed into the prison chamber and spotted a cute black panther with something coiled around her arm.
The panther introduced herself as Negola. "Are you Sonic the Hedgehog?" she asked. "You were expecting Davy Crockett?" Sonic replied calmly. They both giggled.
"By the way, Negola, what's that you've got coiled around your arm?" Sonic asked.
"Promise not to laugh?"
"Promise. Why would I laugh?"
"Well... this is actually my tail."
"Your tail!? But it must be ten yards long!"
"Ten yards and two feet, actually. I measured it. Go ahead and laugh. You won't be the first."
"Laugh? I won't laugh. I've seen stranger things. Come on, let's get out of here."
As Sonic and Negola started to flee, they hesitated in front of a large gap in the floor. "Normally I could cross that gap with a good running start," Sonic said, "but with your added weight, I wouldn't make it."
At that point, Sonic noticed a pipe about thirty feet above him. "That pipe looks stable. If we had a rope or something, we might be able to swing across."
The phrase "Or something" stuck in Negola's head. She calmly got out the end of her 32-foot tail and tied it into a lasso. She threw her tail at the pipe, and hooked it perfectly.
"Secure!" Negola said after a few tugs. "Grab on, Sonic." Without hesitation, Sonic grabbed Negola's wrist, and they both swung clear across the gap and continued.
Several rooms later, Sonic commented that the exit was in the next room. Just then, six robots dropped into the room and stopped the two. Sonic leaped into battle.
WHAM! POW! BANG! SPAF!
Spaf. I actually made that one up. I ran out of sound effect ideas
When the dust cleared, only one robot remained, and it had Sonic. Negola thought fast. She used her tail to lasso the light fixture at the top of the room and swung directly at the robot with her foot extended.
"TAIYOHHHHHH!"
BASH! The robot was shattered into pieces. Sonic nervously thanked Negola, then they both left the base in a hurry.
-
First chapter, roughly re-written. Like?
Author's note: Okay, let's try this again. Doesn't hurt to start from scratch. And I'll get my revenge on that Alliance guy if it's the last thing I do. Which it just might be.
Remember when reviewing: Don't alter your opinion just because you want me to react in a specific way.
-
Chapter 1: Negola -
The whole ordeal started at Dr. Eggman's base. Sonic rushed into the prison chamber and spotted a cute black panther with something coiled around her arm.
The panther introduced herself as Negola. "Are you Sonic the Hedgehog?" she asked. "You were expecting Davy Crockett?" Sonic replied calmly. They both giggled.
"By the way, Negola, what's that you've got coiled around your arm?" Sonic asked.
"Promise not to laugh?"
"Promise. Why would I laugh?"
"Well... this is actually my tail."
"Your tail!? But it must be ten yards long!"
"Ten yards and two feet, actually. I measured it. Go ahead and laugh. You won't be the first."
"Laugh? I won't laugh. I've seen stranger things. Come on, let's get out of here."
As Sonic and Negola started to flee, they hesitated in front of a large gap in the floor. "Normally I could cross that gap with a good running start," Sonic said, "but with your added weight, I wouldn't make it."
At that point, Sonic noticed a pipe about thirty feet above him. "That pipe looks stable. If we had a rope or something, we might be able to swing across."
The phrase "Or something" stuck in Negola's head. She calmly got out the end of her 32-foot tail and tied it into a lasso. She threw her tail at the pipe, and hooked it perfectly.
"Secure!" Negola said after a few tugs. "Grab on, Sonic." Without hesitation, Sonic grabbed Negola's wrist, and they both swung clear across the gap and continued.
Several rooms later, Sonic commented that the exit was in the next room. Just then, six robots dropped into the room and stopped the two. Sonic leaped into battle.
WHAM! POW! BANG! SPAF!
Spaf. I actually made that one up. I ran out of sound effect ideas
When the dust cleared, only one robot remained, and it had Sonic. Negola thought fast. She used her tail to lasso the light fixture at the top of the room and swung directly at the robot with her foot extended.
"TAIYOHHHHHH!"
BASH! The robot was shattered into pieces. Sonic nervously thanked Negola, then they both left the base in a hurry.
-
First chapter, roughly re-written. Like?
