I've Seen More Spine In Jellyfish
-jimmySLOTH

Well, I've been having a pretty hectic summer vacation. However, I shall stay true to the general public and produce Chapter Four of ISMSIJ now. =) Aren't you glad I'm back? Just kidding... you could probably care less. Again, many thanks to the people who take a chunk of time out of their lives to read my less-than-interesting fanfiction. Many, many thanks to yamatoforever, Heaven's Angel Chick, nEo-cHaN, LadyK Na-No-Da, Violette Mai, and I praise the return of Fox Of Light One of my good buddies!

A'right, now that I've talked myself into oblivion, I'll get into it.

Chapter Four – Sweet Like Sugar, Bitter Like Memories [x][o][x][o][x][o][x]

I couldn't believe myself when I actually opened my mouth and said casually to Takeru, "Yeah, I'm getting ready to go to Taichi's soccer game." I could see Takeru's mouth open slightly, and Daisuke's approving grin in my direction. I turned slightly pink, and added, "He invited me, and I felt bad because I was so rude to him before..." This didn't exactly fix my position, because Takeru grinned at me, causing me to turn another shade of light pink, and add, "It's not that big a deal! We're not best friends forever or anything."

Well... according to Taichi we were... but he didn't know what he was talking about. Personally, I think he's on some sort of drug. The way he looks at me... he doesn't give me that same grin he used to. Maybe he just grew up, maybe he's hiding something. Who knows? Well, besides him...

And Daisuke, his STUPID, STUPID shit-eating grin, the kind that really gets under your skin and makes you want to scream... why the HELL was he giving me that damn grin? What were he and Takeru playing at? I was going to a dumb soccer game, not a trip to Disney World with the guy with the world's Happiest Disposition... Wow. What a crackpot family I have, with his stupid crackpot friends.

AND SINCE WHEN WAS TAKERU ALLOWED TO INVITE THAT DAMN DAISUKE OVER, ANYWAY? WHY THE HELL HADN'T I NOTICED THAT LITTLE SHIT GET HERE?!

Oh.

I had been too caught up in making the perfect impression on Taichi... wait... Taichi? What would he care about the way I looked? He wouldn't care if I showed up in boxers and a freaking Tee-Shirt (which I would NEVER do) anyway, so why, now, was I all into getting ready to meet him? Things sometimes are too complicated to understand.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, the bright red one, which read exactly 11:47am. I realized that if I did not leave now, I would be late to Taichi's soccer game, and then would probably end up missing something. I don't even know how that stupid game works; I played lacrosse in High school and never really bothered to learn any other sport. Well, besides Kendo. But then again, the Kendo club was very exclusive, so Kendo really became a part of my life and I no longer regarded it as a sport.

I shook myself from my reverie, and grabbed my coat. Turning to Takeru, I said quietly, "I'll be back by eight tonight. Daisuke can stay overnight if he'd like. Don't go out until I get home... because if mom shows up, we're both road-kill."

Takeru nodded. "Don't do anything you'll regret!"

"A-alright," I said, putting the coat on and walking out the door. Don't do anything you'll regret... What had Takeru meant? Could he know something that I myself don't even know?

[x][o][x][o][x][o][x]

After the soccer game, Taichi looked around the hill for me, I presume, and upon finding me sitting underneath the tree at the very top of the hill, he ran up it with his knapsack and sat next to me. "Hey 'mato, I'm glad you showed up." He smiled brightly. "I was scared for a second there that you'd ditched me."

I took off my headphones, with a grin. "You know I didn't hear a word you just said, stupid."

He shook his head with a smile. "What are you listening to?" he asked me, with a tone of actual interest.

"Nothing you would recognize. It's an American band, and the lyrics aren't hard to follow. You were good with English, maybe you can understand it." I leaned slightly over Taichi, and put the headphones on his ears. Taichi turned slightly pink, and I rolled my eyes at him. "They're called Eve 6, this is from their album Horrorscope. It's called, 'Here's to the Night'..."

The volume was up a considerable amount, so I could still hear the music...

So denied, so I lied, are you the now or never kind?
In a day, and a day love, I'm gonna be gone for good again...
Are you willing to be had; are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well:
Here's to the nights we felt alive...
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry...
Here's to goodbye,
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon.

Taichi smiled and took off the headphones. "That's a good song, pretty easy to understand." He held out the headphones to me, and I gently took them back. I stuffed them into my pocket along with my I-Pod and turned to Taichi.

"You did pretty good out there. I could never be that good at soccer... I don't even know what to do. You're very graceful."

Taichi smiled. "It's just one of my good points. I've worked very hard." We sat in silence, and in my mind I questioned why I was still sitting there. I didn't mind so much anymore. Now that Taichi knows where I'm coming from, I can't exactly say we have no ties. He's been really nice about it, too. We never talk about that night, or what happened there...

Oh shit, Oh shit. What if he didn't want to talk about it because he thought I was some sort of freak? His words of kindness had long since left my memory, and I could only remember him wincing, his questions, and anticipation... What if he thought I was disgusting? Was this charity friendship? Was it even friendship?

"Taichi, can I ask you a question?" I asked, seemingly out of nowhere. He nodded, and I dove right it. "When... That night, when I told you about my father... what were you thinking?"

His eyes drilled into mine. "I was..." he started, "I was thinking, how could someone so beautiful be in so much pain. Someone with such talent and such direction was being hurt so badly, but ... yet... you'd never let on that anything was wrong. I mean... I would never have guessed in a million years.

"Which is odd... because you were my best friend. I told you everything, everything I would tell my mother or my sister. I ... I'm not mad that you never told me, I'm just shocked that I didn't guess at it."

How could someone so beautiful be in so much pain?

Had Taichi really just said that to me? He thinks... he thinks I'm beautiful. Something right then clicked in my mind. The way he acted around me. The way he treated me that night. The way he looks into my eyes. Nothing's different, not really... It's just that... he's...

So...

Beautiful...

Wait a second, what am I thinking? Taichi? BEAUTIFUL? How could... how could I be thinking these things about him? How could I allow myself to be around him and never notice my attraction? Why, why was I slowly falling apart? Why was everything that I had worked so hard to maintain in order to retain my own sanity suddenly slipping further and further away...? Why?

I took another, more painful stab. "Taichi?"

"A-huh?"

"...Taichi, are you... you know, gay?"

He blinked at me, and we sat in the most awkward silence that we'd ever endured. His face gradually broke into a smile. "I didn't think you'd ever ask, Yamato. But, since you did, and since you were so completely honest with me before, I feel that I need to be completely honest with you. Because, I haven't been either... not really...

"Well, here goes. Shortly after moving, and a bad relationship with a pretty girl named Sasha, I realized that... I wasn't so fond of the fairer race... and ... that I was actually more fond of boys." Taichi paused and grinned to himself. "Mom and Hikari took it okay, but I was even more shocked with the second realization I made."

I looked straight at him. "Do I want to hear this?"

"'Dunno. But you need to hear it... and I need to tell it. Well, shortly after admitting to myself that I was about as straight as a circle, I realized... the real reason why I was going to miss you so much, Yamato. I... well, somewhere along the line..." He paused and looked up at me. "Somewhere along the line, I'd fallen in love with you."

I did not find this as a great shock, but somehow my heart stopped beating within my chest. He loved me, he really loved me. I was excited, I was horrified, I was happy and sad, I was scared and reassured. So this is what love feels like. Isn't it supposed to hurt? Just like every other goddamned emotion that anyone could ever feel?

And somehow, it was great to know that Taichi had these feelings for me. It was great to know that finally, for once in my life, I wasn't the only person in a relationship who genuinely wanted to keep it going.

Taichi grabbed my hand. "Listen, Yama, I don't wanna freak you out or anything..."

I looked at him, and although it took me a lot of courage to finally say, I managed to look him square in the eyes... and not say anything at all. Instead I leaned forward and kissed him.

Words cannot describe what I felt.

[x][o][x][o][x][o][x]

Taichi and I spent the afternoon together, just talking. When I finally got home, I opened the door, and saw something that would break my heart all over again.

My mother.

[x][o][x][o][x][o][x]

:D I hope that was good for ya'll! Sorry it's taken me sooooooo very long to write! Won't happen again! Much 3!!

MEG iSHiDA