COTC Fanfic by Carebare 82

Disclaimer: I own nothing being too poor to buy the rights to any of the characters. They are still owned by that unbeliever Mike and that like Steve dude who like scares people and stuff. He's cool

Beavis and Butthead Meet the Children of the Corn

Scene 1: Highland High detention

Beavis and Butthead are sleeping on their desks while Mr. Buzzcut sits at the teachers' desk reading the football playbook The book is a plain blue spiral notebook that has a title taped to it. The title in typewritten words reads: PLAYING WITH BOYS.

(In his sleep, Butthead accedently punches Beavis in the face insteantly waking him up.)

Beavis: (Angry) Och..ehehe cut it out fart knocker. (punches Butthead in the face, waking him up)

Butthead: (Wakes up alert) What's your problem ass munch?

Buzzcut: (Puts his book down and stands up at his desk) Beavis and Butthead! What is your major malfunction?

Butthead: (Not, well never, affected by Buzzcut's yelling) Ughughah my function, my function is in my pants.

Beavis: Yeah ehehehe me too.

Buzzcut: (Yelling like a drill sergeant pronouncing every silible in a every spoken word) You two are the big-gest pi-les or horse puke I have ever met.

Butthead: Ahahah you said whore.

Beavis: Yeah yeah and poo, whore poo ahahah cool

Buzzcut: (Face as red as a beat) If I was allowed by Tex-as law I would kill your sorry asses and piss on them right before I pound them into the crap covered ground. This is the tenth time this month you worthless sacks of dog vomit have been in detention. I'm sick as hell of it. (As Buzzcut is yelling, Principal McVicker walks by the class room. He knows who's yelling and why. He walks through the door)

McVicker: Ahhh what did these little bastards do this time ahhh?

Butthead: We like broke stuff ahahahaha

Beavis: (Fustrated) Like we went to use like the compooter and stuff and like we were trying to look at naked chicks but like there weren't any. Eheheheh none dammit (shaking from head to toe)

Butthead: He was like really pissed and stuff ahahah he was having a temper tantrum ahahaha

McVicker: What the hell are they talking about?

Buzzcut: These filthy pervertswanted to see pornography, but the school's internet security system would not let them,(gets into Bevis' face) so Beavis throw the monitor at the wall.

Beavis: (excited and fusterated at the same time, not that that's unusual) Yeah and it blow up eheheheh and there was fire, fire, fire,

Butthead: ahahahah It was cool. (slaps Bevis in the face) Settle down buttdangle. Ahahah

McVicker: Ahhhhh that computer cost this school $1,000 ahhhh you little pricks are going to pay for it.

Buzzcut: I suggest that we beat these two with fraternity paddles until their asses bleed profusely.

Butthead: ahahaha Like start with Beavis.

Beavis: Noooo ouch....eheheheh that's not cool ass monkey.

(All of a sudden Mr. VanDreason bursts into the door)

VanDreason: (Upset, dah, probably high too) I heard what you two were planning to do to punish these boys and that is not the way to treat them. They were only exercising normal male aggression.

Beavis: Yeah eheheh I'm always like angry at stuff.

Butthead: Our little Beavis has a lot of problems; ahahaha probably because he's such a dumbass.

Beavis: (Slaps Butthead in the face) Shut up turd burglar.

Butthead: That's it, I'm gonna kick your ass.

(They start fighting. Butthead gets out from his desk and starts punching Beavis in the face constanly. Beavis defends himself by choking Butthead. They roll around the ground. Mr. VanDreason starts talking over the fighting.)

VanDreason: You see what I mean. Anger is only normal in young men. Maybe they need a retreat. (Beavis and Butthead lay on the classroom floor, catching their breaths) I was looking in the paper, and I saw an article about children who have their own religion and live out in the country among corn fields. I think that would be perfect for the boys.