Chapter 5
"Hermione, are you sure you're not hiding a Time-Turner in your robes again?" Harry asked.
Hermione looked up from the essay on Animagi Transformation and its Relevance to Modern Wizardry that she was finalising for her Advanced Transfiguration class see Harry, Ron and Ginny standing beside her table at the library. The three had determined expressions on their faces.
"I'm pretty sure I don't have a Time-Turner hidden in my robes, Harry. Why do you ask?" Hermione replied as her three friends took their seats across hers.
"Well, let me see, Hermione," Harry started. "In the past few weeks you've drafted and colour-coded your, mine and Ron's N.E.W.T.s study schedules, managed to get a headstart on your Veritaserum while still fulfilling all your Head Girl duties, including the nightly patrols--"
"Not to mention, help Professor Sprout plant and grow mandrakes," Ron interjected.
"Assisted Madame Pomfrey with brewing a huge batch of Pepper Up Potion," Ginny added.
"Prepared for your DA sessions on defense without a wand," Harry continued.
"Took a lead in decorating the castle for Christmas," Ginny said.
"And--" Ron started.
"OK, OK, so I've been busy. What's the big deal about that? Did I do your N.E.W.T.s study schedule wrong? I made sure to factor in your Quidditch practices and the DA sessions," Hermione interrupted. She knew all about the accomplishments they were enumerating and a few more that they were not aware off. Like the Pet Project. Imagine what they'd say if they knew about that, Hermione.
"No, the study schedules are perfect, Hermione. Not to mention very much appreciated," Harry said. "This isn't about that."
"Then what's this about?" Hermione asked.
"I guess we're a little worried about you, Hermione." Ginny stated. "You've been so busy these past few weeks."
"I've managed to spend time with you despite my schedule, right?" Hermione looked at them confusedly.
"Yes, Hermione, you have. But... but this isn't normal behaviour for you!" Ron burst out. "Everyone's been running around in panic over what's going on outside of Hogwarts and you're behaving as if this is just another school year."
"But it is just another school year, Ron," Hermione said.
"Hello? You're forgetting the mad man who's running around killing Muggles and Muggleborns? The one who's after your bestfriend and possibly every person you care about in the Wizarding world? Remember him?" Ginny countered.
"That mad man's been running around since the end of our 1st year, Ginny," Hermione argued. "So we're waiting for him to attack us. We've had that for the past seven years. I don't think he's going to stop this year just to be nice and give us a break. But I won't put the rest of my life on hold just because Voldemort might just take over our world this year."
"I wish I could be as blase about it as you are, Hermione," Harry said quietly.
Hermione sighed and gave him a small apologetic smile. "Harry, I'm sorry. I know that for you, this experience is a million times much worse than how it is for the rest of us. And I didn't mean to be insensitive, but... you and everyone else will have to learn how to deal with it and to move beyond it. I'm sorry if I come off as callous."
No one said anything until Harry spoke up again. "We didn't come here tonight to talk about me, Hermione. We came here to talk about you. We're really worried about you. It's like you're burying your head in the sand by over-doing things and not feeling anything about what's going on around you, around us."
"What do you want me to do, Harry?" Hermione sighed.
"Nothing, Hermione. That's it, you have to stop trying to do everything." Harry insisted.
"Why, Harry? So I can waste my time sulking and panicking about what's to come?" Hermione replied, "Do you think that I'm not aware that there's a huge chance that I won't get to see my 18th birthday? Do you think I haven't entertained the thought of dying? I have, Harry. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let it stop me from doing what I should be doing."
"I wish I could be as brave as you are, Hermione," Harry spat out sarcastically before getting up and leaving. Ron and Ginny followed him with worried eyes before they too left to go after him.
Hermione looked down and tried to control her tears. She clenched her jaw and cleared her homework. There was no way she could finish that essay now that she was upset. It wasn't due in a month anyway.
Draco saw and heard everything. He was looking for a book for his Apparition essay among the shelves behind where Hermione was seating. He saw Potter, Weasel and the Weaslette join her, listened as they enumerated her activities in the past weeks and eventually raise their concerns about her busy schedule, and heard her defend her actions against their worry and concern. Now he watched as she controlled her emotions and clear the homework she had been calmly and happily doing just a moment ago.
Trust Potter and his crew to ruin a perfectly good study session for Granger, Draco thought.
Draco had no idea before Potter and the Weasels confronted her that Granger had been accomplishing so much in the past few weeks. But now that he did, he completely understood the reason behind it. She lied to them, he knew. She told them that the reason why she had been keeping herself busy was because she refused to let her fear get in the way of leading her life as normally as possible. But Draco, who had spent a disturbing amount of time in the past couple of weeks figuring out Granger, suspected that the truth was that Granger was doing everything she could was because she had seriously considered her chances of surviving Voldemort and concluded that she didn't have much of a chance. She was trying to accomplish everything now because she feared she didn't have much of a future.
For some reason, knowing that saddened Draco. Granger was supposed to be the perennial optimist. She was supposed to be the one with plans for the future. She was the one who was going to be the youngest and the first Muggleborn Minister of Magic in the history of their world. She was supposed to be looking forward to taking over Minerva McGonogall's position in Hogwarts after the Deputy Headmistress retires fifty years from now. She was supposed to survive the war against Voldemort, dammit, and she was supposed to believe that she would with every Muggleborn cell in her body.
Draco understood why she lied to her friends, too. If they found out the real reason for her behaviour and actions, those three would probably panic. He knew what role she played for the younger wizards and witches who were involved in the war against Voldemort. She was the Voice of Reason. She was the wise one, the smart one, the one who was always right. Imagine how those kids would feel if the one whose words they believed to be true suddenly said that their chances of survival were pretty dim.
Draco walked to where Hermione was, intending to knock her out of her sad mood.
"Aww. Did Potter and Weasel decide that they wanted to shag the Weaslette instead and left you here by yourself?" He drawled.
Hermione glared at him. "Leave me alone, Malfoy. Zabini and Nott are probably all dolled up and waiting for their lovemonkey to show up in the Slytherin Common Room."
Draco tried to get rid of the horrid mental image of Blaise and Theodore wearing frilly dresses and said, "I didn't know you had an appointment at the Slytherin Common Room, Granger."
"What do you want, Malfoy?" she spat out, still glaring at him.
"Oh a lot of things, Granger. But nothing that a MudBlood like you can possibly provide." He said snidely, bracing himself for the Granger Slap that was sure to come.
She angrily grabbed her things and walked out without saying anything more to him. As he watched her leave, Draco smiled in satisfaction. An angry Granger was better than a sad Granger anyday.
Hermione headed straight to her private quarters as soon as she left the library. That bloody, crass, good for nothing, arrogant, racist Pure Blood prat, Hermione threw her book bag on her bed, narrowly missing Crookshanks, seething.
She hated that he got to her again, that he had caught her unaware and unprepared. She had been doing so well with her Pet Project these past few weeks, she was sure of it. She had often caught him staring at her, his usual hateful glare replaced by a speculative look. It was as if he was trying to figure her out, observing and assessing her. She reveled in it, knowing that pretty soon, he would make his move and when he did, she would be ready. Well he made his move tonight, Hermione, and you let him get to you.
To distract herself from her anger and to remind herself of her Pet Project's progress, she reached for her bag and fished out the leatherbound "Pet Project" notebook. She had written down every significant moment with Malfoy in the past few weeks to track his behavioural changes that would cue her next move. She read the entries to convince herself that tonight's scene wasn't damaging enough to her goals:
November 12/Friday: Day after the DA session duel. Caught him looking at me from across the Great Hall over breakfast. Same thing during lunch and dinner. No glare, can't understand that look on his face. He seems... pleased?
November 13/Saturday: Quidditch Match. Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. Approached me on my way up the stands. Told me that he was only watching because he wanted to see the new Hufflepuff Seeker in action. Told him that I didn't recall asking for an explanation for his presence. Told me he thought my nosy nature would appreciate being told what everyone was up to. Told him that my nosy nature was reserved for special people. Looked at me aghast then mumbled, "so you don't think I'm special?" Told him no. Told me "we'll see about that." Score another one for me.
November 14/Monday: Staring during meal times again. Double Potions with Slytherin. Stared at me throughout the class. Still can't read that expression on his face.
November 15/Tuesday: Staring during Care of Magical Creatures Class and meal times.
November 16/Wednesday: Still staring at meal times. Meeting with Prefects. Insisted that we patrol together that week. Score one for me again.
November 17/Thursday: DA Session. Partnered with me for the hands-on session on stunning and banishing spells. Patrol session uneventful. Very quiet.
November 18/Friday: Still staring. I think I got it. He's looking at me like he's curious. Yes, curious. Like he's trying to figure me out. Ginny noticed and announced it during dinner at the Gryffindor table. Lavender not happy. (Note to self: gossip might be a good thing to maximise. Will need to think about that more.) Patrol was quiet again.
November 19/Saturday: Stared during breakfast but Zabini nudged him. Did not stare for the rest of the day.
November 21/Monday: Asked me during Patrol what it was like to grow up as a Muggle. Gave him an honest answer. He nodded like it was interesting. Interesting.
November 22/Tuesday: In the Common Room after dinner. Asked for my opinion on essay on the Ethical Issues on the Use of the Veritaserum. Had good discussion. That boy is brilliant, too bad he's a crappy person otherwise.
She was interrupted by a knock on her door. "Yes?"
"Granger, one of your boyfriends is here to see you." Draco drawled from outside her door.
Hermione got up from her bed to the Common Room to see Harry standing by the couch. Malfoy was standing near one of the windows on Harry's right, with his arms crossed and wearing one of his classic smirks. "Don't you have something better to do, Malfoy?"
"None that I can think of, Granger," he replied, looking as if it was the most natural thing in the world to be standing in the same room as Hermione and Harry.
"It's ok, Hermione. I won't be staying long," Harry said. "I just came to apologise for... well for what happened at the library tonight... I was just really worried about you, Hermione."
Hermione smiled genuinely at him and walked to where he was standing to give him a quick hug. "It's ok, Harry, I do appreciate your concern. Thank you. But don't worry about me, ok? I'm fine."
"I'll take your word on that, Hermione," Harry said as he hugged her back. "Now I have to go before I give in to urge to hex the Head Ferret," he whispered.
Hermione chuckled and walked him to the door, kissing him on the cheek before he left. Malfoy was still standing by the window when she came back. "That was a pretty touching scene," he smirked, gearing up for further insults.
"I'm amazed you can recognise a touching scene when you see one, Malfoy," she responded with one of her eyebrows raised.
"Oh I can, Granger. But I'm so much better with that other kind of touching scene," he replied.
"I'm sure you are, Malfoy. Fortunately for me, I will never know for sure," she countered as she walked back to her room.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Granger," he said in a low voice. Hermione turned to look at him from the doorway to her room. Time to up the ante a bit. "Malfoy, are you saying you want to touch me?"
"Now why would I want to touch a Mudblood like you?" he answered snidely.
"Why indeed. Well, I was just making sure that there was no chance of that, Malfoy. Thank you ever so much for alleviating my concerns." She smiled fakely at him.
"You don't know what you're missing, Granger," he smirked.
Merlin, sometimes this was just too easy. "Neither do you, Malfoy. Let's keep it that way, shall we."
She opened her door and entered her room, going straight to her bed where the Pet Project notebook lay. She had another entry to add.
"Hermione, are you sure you're not hiding a Time-Turner in your robes again?" Harry asked.
Hermione looked up from the essay on Animagi Transformation and its Relevance to Modern Wizardry that she was finalising for her Advanced Transfiguration class see Harry, Ron and Ginny standing beside her table at the library. The three had determined expressions on their faces.
"I'm pretty sure I don't have a Time-Turner hidden in my robes, Harry. Why do you ask?" Hermione replied as her three friends took their seats across hers.
"Well, let me see, Hermione," Harry started. "In the past few weeks you've drafted and colour-coded your, mine and Ron's N.E.W.T.s study schedules, managed to get a headstart on your Veritaserum while still fulfilling all your Head Girl duties, including the nightly patrols--"
"Not to mention, help Professor Sprout plant and grow mandrakes," Ron interjected.
"Assisted Madame Pomfrey with brewing a huge batch of Pepper Up Potion," Ginny added.
"Prepared for your DA sessions on defense without a wand," Harry continued.
"Took a lead in decorating the castle for Christmas," Ginny said.
"And--" Ron started.
"OK, OK, so I've been busy. What's the big deal about that? Did I do your N.E.W.T.s study schedule wrong? I made sure to factor in your Quidditch practices and the DA sessions," Hermione interrupted. She knew all about the accomplishments they were enumerating and a few more that they were not aware off. Like the Pet Project. Imagine what they'd say if they knew about that, Hermione.
"No, the study schedules are perfect, Hermione. Not to mention very much appreciated," Harry said. "This isn't about that."
"Then what's this about?" Hermione asked.
"I guess we're a little worried about you, Hermione." Ginny stated. "You've been so busy these past few weeks."
"I've managed to spend time with you despite my schedule, right?" Hermione looked at them confusedly.
"Yes, Hermione, you have. But... but this isn't normal behaviour for you!" Ron burst out. "Everyone's been running around in panic over what's going on outside of Hogwarts and you're behaving as if this is just another school year."
"But it is just another school year, Ron," Hermione said.
"Hello? You're forgetting the mad man who's running around killing Muggles and Muggleborns? The one who's after your bestfriend and possibly every person you care about in the Wizarding world? Remember him?" Ginny countered.
"That mad man's been running around since the end of our 1st year, Ginny," Hermione argued. "So we're waiting for him to attack us. We've had that for the past seven years. I don't think he's going to stop this year just to be nice and give us a break. But I won't put the rest of my life on hold just because Voldemort might just take over our world this year."
"I wish I could be as blase about it as you are, Hermione," Harry said quietly.
Hermione sighed and gave him a small apologetic smile. "Harry, I'm sorry. I know that for you, this experience is a million times much worse than how it is for the rest of us. And I didn't mean to be insensitive, but... you and everyone else will have to learn how to deal with it and to move beyond it. I'm sorry if I come off as callous."
No one said anything until Harry spoke up again. "We didn't come here tonight to talk about me, Hermione. We came here to talk about you. We're really worried about you. It's like you're burying your head in the sand by over-doing things and not feeling anything about what's going on around you, around us."
"What do you want me to do, Harry?" Hermione sighed.
"Nothing, Hermione. That's it, you have to stop trying to do everything." Harry insisted.
"Why, Harry? So I can waste my time sulking and panicking about what's to come?" Hermione replied, "Do you think that I'm not aware that there's a huge chance that I won't get to see my 18th birthday? Do you think I haven't entertained the thought of dying? I have, Harry. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let it stop me from doing what I should be doing."
"I wish I could be as brave as you are, Hermione," Harry spat out sarcastically before getting up and leaving. Ron and Ginny followed him with worried eyes before they too left to go after him.
Hermione looked down and tried to control her tears. She clenched her jaw and cleared her homework. There was no way she could finish that essay now that she was upset. It wasn't due in a month anyway.
Draco saw and heard everything. He was looking for a book for his Apparition essay among the shelves behind where Hermione was seating. He saw Potter, Weasel and the Weaslette join her, listened as they enumerated her activities in the past weeks and eventually raise their concerns about her busy schedule, and heard her defend her actions against their worry and concern. Now he watched as she controlled her emotions and clear the homework she had been calmly and happily doing just a moment ago.
Trust Potter and his crew to ruin a perfectly good study session for Granger, Draco thought.
Draco had no idea before Potter and the Weasels confronted her that Granger had been accomplishing so much in the past few weeks. But now that he did, he completely understood the reason behind it. She lied to them, he knew. She told them that the reason why she had been keeping herself busy was because she refused to let her fear get in the way of leading her life as normally as possible. But Draco, who had spent a disturbing amount of time in the past couple of weeks figuring out Granger, suspected that the truth was that Granger was doing everything she could was because she had seriously considered her chances of surviving Voldemort and concluded that she didn't have much of a chance. She was trying to accomplish everything now because she feared she didn't have much of a future.
For some reason, knowing that saddened Draco. Granger was supposed to be the perennial optimist. She was supposed to be the one with plans for the future. She was the one who was going to be the youngest and the first Muggleborn Minister of Magic in the history of their world. She was supposed to be looking forward to taking over Minerva McGonogall's position in Hogwarts after the Deputy Headmistress retires fifty years from now. She was supposed to survive the war against Voldemort, dammit, and she was supposed to believe that she would with every Muggleborn cell in her body.
Draco understood why she lied to her friends, too. If they found out the real reason for her behaviour and actions, those three would probably panic. He knew what role she played for the younger wizards and witches who were involved in the war against Voldemort. She was the Voice of Reason. She was the wise one, the smart one, the one who was always right. Imagine how those kids would feel if the one whose words they believed to be true suddenly said that their chances of survival were pretty dim.
Draco walked to where Hermione was, intending to knock her out of her sad mood.
"Aww. Did Potter and Weasel decide that they wanted to shag the Weaslette instead and left you here by yourself?" He drawled.
Hermione glared at him. "Leave me alone, Malfoy. Zabini and Nott are probably all dolled up and waiting for their lovemonkey to show up in the Slytherin Common Room."
Draco tried to get rid of the horrid mental image of Blaise and Theodore wearing frilly dresses and said, "I didn't know you had an appointment at the Slytherin Common Room, Granger."
"What do you want, Malfoy?" she spat out, still glaring at him.
"Oh a lot of things, Granger. But nothing that a MudBlood like you can possibly provide." He said snidely, bracing himself for the Granger Slap that was sure to come.
She angrily grabbed her things and walked out without saying anything more to him. As he watched her leave, Draco smiled in satisfaction. An angry Granger was better than a sad Granger anyday.
Hermione headed straight to her private quarters as soon as she left the library. That bloody, crass, good for nothing, arrogant, racist Pure Blood prat, Hermione threw her book bag on her bed, narrowly missing Crookshanks, seething.
She hated that he got to her again, that he had caught her unaware and unprepared. She had been doing so well with her Pet Project these past few weeks, she was sure of it. She had often caught him staring at her, his usual hateful glare replaced by a speculative look. It was as if he was trying to figure her out, observing and assessing her. She reveled in it, knowing that pretty soon, he would make his move and when he did, she would be ready. Well he made his move tonight, Hermione, and you let him get to you.
To distract herself from her anger and to remind herself of her Pet Project's progress, she reached for her bag and fished out the leatherbound "Pet Project" notebook. She had written down every significant moment with Malfoy in the past few weeks to track his behavioural changes that would cue her next move. She read the entries to convince herself that tonight's scene wasn't damaging enough to her goals:
November 12/Friday: Day after the DA session duel. Caught him looking at me from across the Great Hall over breakfast. Same thing during lunch and dinner. No glare, can't understand that look on his face. He seems... pleased?
November 13/Saturday: Quidditch Match. Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. Approached me on my way up the stands. Told me that he was only watching because he wanted to see the new Hufflepuff Seeker in action. Told him that I didn't recall asking for an explanation for his presence. Told me he thought my nosy nature would appreciate being told what everyone was up to. Told him that my nosy nature was reserved for special people. Looked at me aghast then mumbled, "so you don't think I'm special?" Told him no. Told me "we'll see about that." Score another one for me.
November 14/Monday: Staring during meal times again. Double Potions with Slytherin. Stared at me throughout the class. Still can't read that expression on his face.
November 15/Tuesday: Staring during Care of Magical Creatures Class and meal times.
November 16/Wednesday: Still staring at meal times. Meeting with Prefects. Insisted that we patrol together that week. Score one for me again.
November 17/Thursday: DA Session. Partnered with me for the hands-on session on stunning and banishing spells. Patrol session uneventful. Very quiet.
November 18/Friday: Still staring. I think I got it. He's looking at me like he's curious. Yes, curious. Like he's trying to figure me out. Ginny noticed and announced it during dinner at the Gryffindor table. Lavender not happy. (Note to self: gossip might be a good thing to maximise. Will need to think about that more.) Patrol was quiet again.
November 19/Saturday: Stared during breakfast but Zabini nudged him. Did not stare for the rest of the day.
November 21/Monday: Asked me during Patrol what it was like to grow up as a Muggle. Gave him an honest answer. He nodded like it was interesting. Interesting.
November 22/Tuesday: In the Common Room after dinner. Asked for my opinion on essay on the Ethical Issues on the Use of the Veritaserum. Had good discussion. That boy is brilliant, too bad he's a crappy person otherwise.
She was interrupted by a knock on her door. "Yes?"
"Granger, one of your boyfriends is here to see you." Draco drawled from outside her door.
Hermione got up from her bed to the Common Room to see Harry standing by the couch. Malfoy was standing near one of the windows on Harry's right, with his arms crossed and wearing one of his classic smirks. "Don't you have something better to do, Malfoy?"
"None that I can think of, Granger," he replied, looking as if it was the most natural thing in the world to be standing in the same room as Hermione and Harry.
"It's ok, Hermione. I won't be staying long," Harry said. "I just came to apologise for... well for what happened at the library tonight... I was just really worried about you, Hermione."
Hermione smiled genuinely at him and walked to where he was standing to give him a quick hug. "It's ok, Harry, I do appreciate your concern. Thank you. But don't worry about me, ok? I'm fine."
"I'll take your word on that, Hermione," Harry said as he hugged her back. "Now I have to go before I give in to urge to hex the Head Ferret," he whispered.
Hermione chuckled and walked him to the door, kissing him on the cheek before he left. Malfoy was still standing by the window when she came back. "That was a pretty touching scene," he smirked, gearing up for further insults.
"I'm amazed you can recognise a touching scene when you see one, Malfoy," she responded with one of her eyebrows raised.
"Oh I can, Granger. But I'm so much better with that other kind of touching scene," he replied.
"I'm sure you are, Malfoy. Fortunately for me, I will never know for sure," she countered as she walked back to her room.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Granger," he said in a low voice. Hermione turned to look at him from the doorway to her room. Time to up the ante a bit. "Malfoy, are you saying you want to touch me?"
"Now why would I want to touch a Mudblood like you?" he answered snidely.
"Why indeed. Well, I was just making sure that there was no chance of that, Malfoy. Thank you ever so much for alleviating my concerns." She smiled fakely at him.
"You don't know what you're missing, Granger," he smirked.
Merlin, sometimes this was just too easy. "Neither do you, Malfoy. Let's keep it that way, shall we."
She opened her door and entered her room, going straight to her bed where the Pet Project notebook lay. She had another entry to add.
