This chapter is going to be super zany to make up for all the killing. You get to see the cute side of Battousai. Now, this is a warning, things that will happen in the flowing chapter could never happen in real life, ever; they include Battousai getting eaten by a goat, a ferret (An: EVIL!) with a welder and a chainsaw, and Battousai being compared with a Chinchilla. You were warned! Remember this fan fiction is purely fan FICTION.

Note: I might up my story to pg-13 for swearing and some of the lip locks.

Kaoru woke up the next morning and took a well disserved shower. She felt a little bit sore in her side, but with 6 painkillers every 4 hours, life was good. After her shower, she flopped down on her bed and air dried her hair. After several minutes of silence, she concurred that she was bored.

When Kaoru is bored, bad things often happen to the people within 10 miles of her. Now on this day Kaoru decided that she wanted to go to the zoo. Now, if a bored Kaoru and a cage of lions put side by side wasn't bad enough, she wanted to see if Battousai could come with her. Kaoru put on a pair of hip-hugger jeans and a baby blue tank top and went to call Battousai.

After searching through her things...Kaoru came to the conclusion that she didn't have Battousai's phone number. In Kaoru's mind, the only thing to do now was to walk to his house, and she hoped she remembered how to get there.

After a good 30 minutes of walking, Kaoru did indeed reach Battousai's apartment building. She trudged up 7 flights of stairs and tentatively knocked at room 747. There was no answer, she tested the knob, the door was open. Kaoru walked in to find Battousai passed out cold (He was sleeping) on the couch in front of a movie the seemed to be Mulan. Kaoru repressed a laugh, he, the most feared assassin in Japan, was watching dubbed over Disney movies.

It seemed as if he had just taken a shower because he was wearing a pair of black ripped jeans, no shirt, and his hair was wet and it lay free of any bind. He was lying on his back, and his mouth was partly open, he was smiling.

"Awwww." Kaoru thought to herself. "He is just so cute when he sleeps."

She didn't want to wake him up, so she carefully lifted him up, slid in beside him on the couch, and let his head rest in her lap. She leaned back and proceeded to watch the rest of Mulan (I love that movie.)

When the movie finished, Kaoru began to get up and take the movie out of the movie player, but something held her back. She fell on the floor and Battousai fell with her. He had wrapped his arms around her waist in his sleep to keep her from moving.

"Gah!" Kaoru cried and she landed with a soft 'thwump' on the floor. Battousai just hugged her tighter and murmured "Kao." softly, his wet his hair falling around her face.

Kaoru was astonished but he just looked so darn cute so she made an attempt at patting him on the head, to no avail. Her hands were pinned under him.

"Battousai?" she asked. "Will you get off of me, please?"

He didn't respond, so she tried again. "Battousai get the hell off of me!" she screamed, and still nothing. "Damn, how much did he drink!?" She wondered. Kaoru tried wriggling out from underneath him but quickly stopped that. "That felt so wrong, no way am I doing it again." she muttered.

After weighting all of her choices, she came to the conclusion that she'd have to hurt him to wake him up. After searching for a way, it became painfully obvious to her. She lowered her teeth to his neck and bit down lightly, not enough to draw blood but enough to hurt.

Yet again, Battousai was roused from a peaceful sleep by a sharp pain. He opened his eyes and was astonished to find that he was laying on top of Kaoru, who seemingly was biting his neck. "Wait a second, how did this happen?" he asked himself internally. "I was sleepy so I popped in Mulan and took a nap, so why's Kaoru here?" He felt that she was still biting his neck, and if felt kind of good. "Could you bite a little lower?" he asked Kaoru who immediately screamed "Get the fuck off of me!" at the top of her lungs.

"Kaoru," he started, as he got up, "May I ask why are you here?"

"I came over here to see if you wanted to go somewhere. I saw that you were sleeping and," she snickered. "watching Mulan. I just sat down next to you and then you grabbed me when I tried to get up."

He stuck out his tongue. "I like Mulan, the fighting scenes are good. But that doesn't explain why you were biting my neck."

"I had to get you awake somehow!" she told him.

"Ah. But did you have to do it so passionately?" Battousai asked. "Not that I'm complaining, feel free to do it anytime."

"Shadup." Kaoru muttered. "I just came because I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the Zoo with me."

"The zoo?" he asked quizzically. "I've never been to the zoo."

"Oh!" she cried, "You poor sheltered baby!"

"Baby!?" he cried. "I," he paused, "am a man."

"Who watches Disney movies." she added.

"That wasn't very nice thing to do." he told her and glared. "I happen to only like Mulan as a Disney movie." Battousai scoffed.

"Well, I'm not a very nice person." she told him plainly. "And neither are you, but I like you better when you're being bad."

He was now thoroughly confused, and not many people could do that. "Women." he sighed.

"So..." Kaoru prompted. "Do you want to go with me to the zoo or not?"

"Why not." Battousai said. "But first, I'm gonna get dressed." He pulled out a tight black shirt from his closet and the same jacket from the night before, it had been cleaned of the bloodstains. "Kaoru..." he began, but was cut off.

"But I get to drive!" she told him evilly and, yet again, proceeded to drag him down seven flights of stairs to his car.

"Kaoru, can you drive?" he asked her before he even thought or relinquishing his baby to his girlfriend.

"Well, we'll find out now, won't we?" Kaoru told him and began to walk to the driver's side.

Her answer didn't make Battousai feel very secure, so, he came up with a plan. "Kaoru, how about this. You can sit in my lap in the driver's seat and drive the car, but I'll take over before we hit something and crash, okay?"

"Well," she thought for a moment. "Okay, but only because I get to sit in your lap." she grinned playfully and tweaked his nose.

As she walked away, Battousai's arms snaked around her waist and pulled her close. He crushed his mouth against hers and kissed her deeply. Kaoru pressed her lips against him with equal force and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. She had the distinct impression that she was being pressed into his car but paid no mind. After a few minutes of this, Kaoru broke away quickly and told him "Oi...Battousai, the zoo remember, the ZOO!"

"But I'm having much more fun here." he told her and kissed her again.

"No, Battousai!" she cried at him. "The only reason I pushed you away was because the principal walked by, idiot! You're the only person in this city with hair like yours!"

"Crap!" Battousai said as he looked around frantically. "She didn't see me, did she?"

"No." Kaoru told him. They were both aware of what would happen if they were caught. Her parents would chain her to the house, and Battousai would be arrested for pedophile (Kaoru is only 17 after all) and fired. "Now, lets go to the zoo, okay?" she told him and pushed him into the drivers seat and got in after him.

After situating herself comfortably she turned the key, put the car in reverse, and floored it. Battousai had to admit as they sped through the streets that she was indeed a good driver, not safe, but if she could navigate Tokyo at the speed she was going, she disserved credit.

They stopped a few minutes later right in front of the zoo. Kaoru could have sworn that Battousai had spirals for eyes when she got out, but if he did, he recovered quickly. He never even had a chance to take over the wheel.

They both went up to the gate and bought tickets. After they were inside however, Kaoru couldn't think about what she wanted to drag Battousai too first. So, after looking at the map, she decided that the petting zoo would do him some good. Though, Battousai pinned up with a bunch of screaming children and half a dozen goats wouldn't be funny, it'd be downright disturbing.

"Oh Himura sensei." Kaoru called in an evil sing-songy voice.

He gulped. "Yes Kaoru?"

"Lets go to the petting zoo!" she screamed, grabbed his hair, and dragged him to the petting zoo, all the while he was protesting that "Assassins don't pet small fuzzy animals!"

"Well, now they do." she replied. "End of story." Once they made it to the petting zoo, Kaoru dragged him over the fence and grabbed the first fluffy thing she saw, it was a rabbit.

"Battousai, this is a rabbit." she told him.

He sighed. "Yes, I know it's a rabbit, I'm not stupid."

"Well good, now pet the rabbit." she instructed with an evil glint in her eye.

Battousai reached out and petted the rabbit. It bit him. He screamed. "Holy fuck! That rabbit just fucking bit me!" he screamed.

All the small children and their mothers looked aghast at Battousai for his use of language. But Kaoru just broke out laughing.

"I guess he thought you were a carrot." she giggled and told him, pointing at his clearly red/orange hair.

He just glared. "Fine, you hold psycho-bunny." he told her. Though if the bunny bit her, they'd be having bunny chunks for dinner tonight.

Kaoru picked up the cute little bunny and held it. The rabbit just sniffed her and snuggled closer. "See Battousai." she told him and stuck out her tongue. But he wasn't there anymore. It seems as if a goat had decided that his hair would taste good and he was trying to get away from the goat. The goat was winning.

"Shit, now there's a fucking goat trying to eat me! Gah!" He screamed and made an attempt to kill the goat to no avail. The goat just chewed his hair and stared blankly out into space. Kaoru sighed, put the bunny down, and dragged the goat away from Battousai. Then she dragged Battousai away from the goat, he was trying to kill it. Kaoru pulled him out of the petting zoo.

"Okay." Kaoru sighed. "So you're not a goat or a rabbit person."

"Well that's obvious...they tried to eat me!" He cried at her.

"You're an assassin, and you just ran away from a bunny." she replied, giggling.

"If I was more like a bunny I'd get along with it!"

"Well then," she paused. "You must be a chinchilla person then!" she cried and pointed at the random passing chinchilla.

He sweatdropped. "Why would that be?"

"Because you're both so KAWAII!" she screamed and lunged at the chinchilla, which ran away quickly.

If straight guys shrieked, Battousai would have.

"Not really, you're most like a lion."

"I'm afraid to ask, but why?" he asked.

"Because you're territorial, you like to fight, you're possessive, and because you have a mane." she told him and flicked his hair.

"Ha ha, very funny." Battousai grumbled. "Enough with the hair jokes. Do you want me to cut my hair?"

Kaoru froze. "Don't you ever cut your hair! Ever! I love your hair, it's so long and pretty and clean! If you ever cut your hair, I'd have to kill your barber with a pair of dull scissors. Cut anything but the hair, just not the hair!" she screamed at the top of her lungs and grabbed his hair.

"Okay!" Battousai cried and wrenched his hair back. "If I knew you loved my hair 'that' much I wouldn't have mentioned it."

"Good." she thought for a moment. "After the petting zoo fiasco, do you want to go see the dangerous animals?"

Now he was intrigued. "Yes," he paused and hooked his arms around Kaoru's waist. "Let's."

They walked to the lion's cage and Kaoru insisted that he pose in front of the cage so she could prove he looked like a lion.

"Say something a lion would." she instructed.

"Um..." he thought for a moment. A lion was just a big cat after all. "Mew?" he said as more of a question than a statement.

Kaoru burst out into fits of hysterical laughter. "Only you Battousai, only you." she said in between giggles.

They walked a little farther until they saw a cage with a sign that read "Extremely hazardous, use extreme caution."

"I wonder what it would be?" Kaoru asked and looked in. Inside the huge cage with bars and chicken wire was a ferret. Kaoru's idea of a huge bear disappeared. "Battousai, it's just a ferret." she looked at the map.

He watched the rodent. The ferret came up to the edge of the cage and flicked him off. Then it smacked it's butt, taunting Battousai.

He growled low and drew a dagger from his boot. He mimed killing the ferret with the knife and it looked scared and ran into it's cave-hole.

"Battousai, stop threatening the ferret, let's go." Kaoru reprimanded him.

"But it flicked me off!" he protested.

She lay a hand to his head. "Hmm, no fever." She turned to face the cage then grabbed Battousai on the shoulder. "I believe you." she said, afraid.

"What?" he asked confused. But as he turned he saw that the ferret had a chainsaw and was cutting it's way out. When the ferret broke through he gave an evil grin and charged at Kaoru, who ran like hell. The ferret backed them both against it's cage and forced them inside. He then exchanged his chainsaw with a welder and then welded the cage closed again. They were locked in a ferret cage, and if it couldn't get any worse, the loud speaker announced that the zoo was closing.

They were locked overnight in a ferret cage, and then it began to rain. Battousai only poked Kaoru and told her "I told you the ferret flicked me off."

She just gave him an angry look and said, "We're locked in this cage overnight, so don't act so happy."

His eyes lost their purple tint, and became a seething mass of gold. He pushed Kaoru against the bars of the cage and kissed her deeply, his tongue probing her mouth. "Oh, but Kaoru, I love how this ferret thinks. I'm locked in a cage with you for 12 hours and you can't run away." he nuzzled her neck and flicked his tongue over the wound he ha inflicted on her shoulder the day before.

It was only then that she noticed she had a cut on her neck. "What's that?" she asked him, sensing he knew.

"I had to prove you were mine somehow." he told her and kissed her again, his arms pinning her against the bars. She intertwined her finger in his hair and pulled him closer.

After a few minutes of this, Kaoru pushed him away and yawned. "I'm sleepy, let's go to be, okay?" she asked him, even though it wad only 6, but he assumed it was because of the painkillers.

Battousai sat down and leaned against the cage bars so Kaoru could use his shoulder as a pillow. He covered them both with his coat and fell asleep.

Told ya it was going to be random. I was just in a wacky mood, that's all. Sorry about Kaoru's hair rant. But my boyfriend cut his hair a little while ago. He had Kenshin length hair and now it's all gone. It took me forever to find a Bishi guy I liked and now his bishiness is gone. cries

Akuma Ryuu: Thank you! I hope the play turns out good too!

Gaby: Thanks! It wasn't as fun to write as this one though.

aNiMe PeRfEcT: Thank you. I didn't think anyone liked my sarcastic humor.

Sugar-crazy fox: Yes, this story can be summed up in one word, interesting.

Single whit rose: There is no such thing is too much fun! Fun is fun!

Cookie6: They are together in this chappie...he chews on her x

Ewunia: Thank you! I'm soooooo glad you like it! It makes me feel mushy inside.

Koishii sweet: Really, you thought it was that good feels loved And BTW. I've decided that Kaoru wont get preggie because that'd be too much angst, but maybe I will in the epilogue.

Annabella5: OMG! Gomen nasai! bows I'm so sorry I forgot to thank you in my last chapter! Thank you thank you! I've noticed the chappie thing too, but this on was complete fluff...it gets an 11 out of 10 on the fluff scale.