Disclaimer:
Miroku doesn't own me.
Ahem!
Oh, my bad. INUYASHA doesn't own me.
A-HEM!
A'ight, a'ight! KOGA doesn't own me.
A-HEM!!
Uh….T.M. Revolution doesn't own me?
InuYasha (vein bulging in forehead): Since you're too stupid to get it, I'll say it for you! YOU DON'T OWN ME!!
Miroku (singing): You don't own me, I'm not just one of your many toys, unless you're Sango, then you do.
Well, InuYasha that's what I meant to say but it wouldn't come out right.
InuYasha: Keh! Yeah, right.
Thinking straight after getting your hair braided, you try!
How Could You Hurt Me So Bad?
Chapter 3
Sango walked slowly through the large village's busy streets, trying not to be too envious of the abundant couples. However she couldn't help it. Sango was so jealous of the women whose lovers showered them with love and affection, wishing Miroku would be the same with her.
She came across a particular shop and went inside, taking a seat on a stool by the counter near the door. Upon closer inspection at its construction, Sango realized she walked into a tavern. She didn't feel too uncomfortable though; a number of the other customers greeted her warmly and no one there looked malicious.
Sango waved back and set her hiraikotsu down beside her against the wall. From the far end of the counter, the bartender looked up and found he had a new customer.A pretty damn HOT customer.
He walked over to her, putting on a friendly smile so he didn't look like a lecher. The bartender could tell by Sango's weapons and attire, that black suit underneath her yukata, that she was a professional demon slayer. Thus it would be wise not to get on her bad side.
"Hello there, Ms. Demon Slayer," He greeted warmly. "What can I getcha?"
"Just water, please." Sango ordered quietly.
The bartender blinked. An odd request, but hey, she was the customer. Just then Sango heard a familiar voice coming up the street from outside.
"Ooh, such a lovely palm you have. I see a long life and many children in your future."
Miroku.
Sango teardropped, frowning. That lech was at it again! Just as they passed by the open door,
"My dear, would you consider bearing my children?"
Sango caught a glimpse of Miroku's perverted smile, while the woman only giggled, thinking he was teasing. They continued on walking, past the tavern door and up the street.
Sango's eyes narrowed with rage, swelling with hot tears, the emotional pain in her heart intensifying.
"Make it a sake!" Sango ordered loudly, startling the bartender who was serving another customer. Catching herself, she changed her tone, "Sorry. Make it a sake."
Wondering why she suddenly changed her mind, the bartender brought her a bottle of sake and a cup and set it before her. Sango took the bottle and filled the cup, setting it aside.
Then wolfed down the entire bottle all at once!
She drew her head back to make sure she got every last drop in the bottle. She let out a breath and sat up in the stool, her face tinged red, then finished off the cup.
Two other women across from Sango's left watched her, impressed. Sango stared into space before her.
"I'll have another." Sango ordered, growing intoxicated.
The bartender brought her another bottle and watched her put it away like she did the first one. Sango panted a bit, her face reddening more. The women were awed, wondering if Sango practiced doing that. She ordered third bottle of sake, this time having to take a breath in the middle of it; she immediately resumed and finished the bottle. As Sango drew her head back further, she held onto the counter to keep from falling over. She brought herself back to the counter, leaning forward, catching her breath, her face now a deep red.
"Wow, Ms. Slayer, you really can put your liquor away!" One of the two women mused.
Sango rose her eyes up at the bartender, who was gawking at her.
"Lemme have another." Sango said. He got a bit concerned.
"Ms. Demon Slayer, you've already had three bottles. Are you in a hurry to get drunk?" Sango shot the bartender a sarcastic glare.
"I can count, thank you!" She snapped, drunk, "And answering your question, I'm not in a hurry to get drunk. I just wanna get rid of my pain."
Sango's drunken visage was tinged with sorrow as she stared down at the counter.
"Pain? What kind of pain do you want gone, Ms. Slayer? If you don't think I'm being nosy." One of the two women asked politely.
The bartender gave Sango another bottle of sake, removing the cup, guessing she wouldn't be needing it. Sango held it up, swaying the bottle back and forth in her hand before answering the woman.
"Heartache. I just wanna get rid of my heartache."
In one gulp, Sango finished the sake. The women and the bartender stared at her curiously. Sango glanced at them from the corner of her eye, reading their questioning faces as she hung the sake bottle over her open mouth to let the remaining drops of sake fall on her tongue. Sango set the bottle down on the counter and turned to the left towards her audience, leaning on the counter. She put on a calm little smile.
"That's right, I only wanna forget about the heartache he gave me."
"He?" The bartender asked.
"Yeah, the monk who hurt me." Sango explained.
"A monk hurt you, Ms. Slayer?" The bartender echoed, puzzled. Sango's explanation contradicted his knowledge of monks. (Miroku has the ability to do that) She asked for another bottle of sake. Sango said it would be a long story and she would need a drink to wash away any extra pain and the lump in her throat that would come. Wanting to hear Sango's story, the bartender filled her request. Sango drank the entire bottle and proceeded,
"A monk. A young monk, real handsome with beautiful indigo eyes. He's got…got powerful spiritual powers an' can kill someone wit' 'is staff ifn' they attack 'im. But he's got one problem, ya know what it is?" Sango asked. She paused, allowing her audience time to think and take a guess. The three of them looked at each other for the answer, but none of them had it. One of the two women shook her head for the group, "What is it, Ms. Slayer?"
"Women! He likes him some women!" Sango answered kinda loudly, emphasizing the answer. She had the bartender get her another drink. She took a long sip before continuing.
"Yep, women." Sango's voice quieted, then returned to an audible level, "He heard 'bout some woman princess demon who stole all th' men from a village 'a ugly women. I mean ugly! They's ugly but Miroku still hit on 'em anyway! Whassat say to you? Oh, thas'is name, Miroku. Isn't it a handsome name? Yeah. Well, he wanned to go get th' men back hisself, but I got worried 'bout 'im. So I put on my demon slayer suit an' wen' after 'im! I wen' wit' 'im, and Miroku gave me attitude. So I put 'im in check and das' th' end 'a that!" Sango slurred.
The woman and bartender listened like they were watching a soap opera. Sango took another long drink of sake, took a breath, and finished the bottle. She held it very close to her face and stared intently at the bottle for a while before speaking, "This 's good sake."
The women got a bit impatient with the "commercial break". "Is there more, Ms. Slayer?" They asked politely, though impatient. Sango lowered her bottle into her lap and brought her eyes to the women, snapped from her distraction. Sango stared at them blankly for a second.
"'A course there's more!" She exclaimed, "I wouldn't leave you hangin' like that. We find th' demon princess….Miroku finds th' princess, I caugh' up with 'im later after we get sep'rated in this blue portal thing an' I find th' village men, old n' shriveled. They'd been wit' th' princess and she'd sucked the youth outta them an' tossed 'em 'n a field. I'm now worried to death 'bout my Miroku and I'm running like hell to th' princess demon's cast'l. I find him in the cast'l with th' princess….an' he's about to kiss 'er!"
The women gasped.
Sango seemed pleased to have kept their attention. "Yeah, 'gasp'! But when th' princess turned out to be a demon, Miroku said he 's just actin' bewitched. So he 'n I fight the thing, but he goes easy on th' demon 'cuz he says there's a woman trapped inside th' demon's body! The actual princess had died an' th' coyote demon possessed her soul an' body to started suckin' out men's youth to gain power. Miroku exorcises her out an' I kill the demon. The phat'm cast'l disappears an' I'm more confused th'n hell! But does the monk care? He's buhind me huggin' all on the dead princess, who happens to be dead! So bas'lly he's huggin' all on 'er soul!"
Sango's audience was very intrigued. A few other customers who had overheard and started listening were as well.
"After th' whole thing's over an' her soul floats up to heaven, we meet with our other two friends an' Miroku holds a little service for th' dead princess. Then he finds me sittin' by a stream and starts talkin' to me. I's feelin' stupid for actin' like I did, an' he tries to comfort me. He as' why I went wit' 'im. I says 'cuz I's worried he'd get in trouble. Miroku's a nice and smart guy, but put a hot woman in fronta him and he's dumber'n InuYasha!"
Her audience laughed. Sango ordered another bottle of sake. The bartender was too into her recollection to tell her she had indeed had enough. Sango took a breath and slowly drank the entire bottle all at once again. The women were awed again. Sango grinned, wasted.
"Damn, tha's s'm good sake!" She exclaimed, staring into space. A few others laughed.
"So anyways, Miroku says somethin' symzathetic abou' th' princess grievin' an' I tell 'im I wasn't jealous or nothin' or her, then ya knows wha' he does?" Sango paused again with a broad drunken grin.
The women leaned forward toward Sango, with wide eyes, "What? What? Please tell us, Ms. Slayer!"
"He takes my hand in his, " Sango used her own hands for the visual aid, "an' he says quote, 'It makes me happy that you worry. Your concern for me means more than that of any other woman.' Unquote."
The faces of Sango's audience lit up. The bartender gave another bottle of sake, just in case. He figured she'd inevitably order it at her rate. The two women at the counter were completely marveled.
"Oh my gods! How romantic he is!" "I know! Oh, that monk would make the perfect lover!"
Sango smiled and turned her head away to the counter, raising the bottle to her lips.
"Lying bastard."
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Whoa, I actually finished this before midnight!
I hope you enjoyed ch.2, I tried my best to make the text sound like Sango was wasted. Tell me if you thought it was convincing or not. I'm in the process of writing the next two chapters, so an update will happen soon this week!
Ja!
Miroku: She's gone. Now for those of you who like a little comedy after reading angst fics, enjoy the ORIGINAL disclaimer that LuClipse85 wrote!
tape plays
LC85: Well, InuYasha that's what I meant to say, but it didn't come out right.
InuYasha: Keh! My ass it didn't come out right!
LC85: …..
Miroku (misunderstanding): Why're you talking like Yoda?
[InuYasha stares in space, then gets Miroku's interpretation, beats him upside head and shouts obscenities. Koga snickers in background]
Koga: InuYasha, an ass, you are! HAHAHA!!
{Disclaimer ends, recording of Miroku's "honeymoon" plays, tape abruptly stops. Miroku takes out tape and chuckles nervously. He runs like hell with LuClipse85 running after him with his staff, screaming, "If I can't you, no one can!!" Miroku thought she was chasing him cuz she told him not to play the original disclaimer.}
