Title: You're Still You
Authors: Mackenzie & Classic She
Category: Josh/Zoey; General AU
Rating: PG-13 - PG-17 version at website
Disclaimers: Sorkin owned.
Spoilers: None
Chapter One
After the last glass of wine had been drunk... the last dance danced... and the final hug and kiss for the evening acted out, Josh and Zoey were left alone in the empty living room of the private residence of President and First Lady - Jed and Abigail Bartlet in The White House.
Zoey and Josh chatted deep into the wee hours of the morning... Talking about Paris, politics, Washington, friends, family, relaying jokes, stories... whatever they could think about discussing that didn't directly pertain with them as a couple.
When first reintroduced at the beginning of the evening, both had reservations, concerns, fears and worries. How would they act around each other now that so much has happened and almost two years have passed? Would they be able to drift back into their friendship and act as if the past five years have never happened? Would the flirty banter at the party... the seductive dance... that first clumsy kiss... their first sexual encounter... the fights... the pregnancy scare... would everything that was so important to them – so much so that both were too stubborn to admit it – remain fond memories? Or, would there be a way that they can relive those memories and add to them? Only time could tell...
Zoey sat on one end of the couch, curled up, facing her ex-lover, the man she still loves with every breath in her body. She smiled at him and participated in the conversation, her witty retorts fresh and vibrant. She teased him, a pastime she particularly missed. Josh, for his own part, was on the opposite end of the couch, his hand casually draped on her calf as he matched Zoey's verbal jabs with expertly timed replies. They laughed at private jokes and revealed secrets about each other that neither knew, or had forgotten. The large antique grandfather clocked chimed twelve times signifying that the middle of the night had snuck up on them.
After counting the chimes, Josh looked at Zoey, his eyes drinking her form in. He gave her a small smile as he reached in and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, softly, "Zoey... There is something that I should tell you."
Zoey grinned... She knew that now was the time she could reveal to him her own special news that she had been putting off till just the right time. Not giving him time to continue, Zoey gave him her signature smile. "Josh, there's something I'm just dying to tell you too, and if I wait a moment longer, I will absolutely go crazy."
Josh was taken aback by her animated response, and, for the moment, forgot what he was going to say. He had almost forgotten how beautiful she was, how striking her features were and how intoxicating her smile was. Almost. He smiled at her as he reached for her hand; bringing it to his lips he brushed a soft kiss on her inner wrist and gave her hand a gentle, yet encouraging squeeze. "You go first."
Zoey's slender hand closed around his as she scooted closer to him, her eyes twinkling, "I'm going to California, Josh. I've been accepted to Stanford Medical School. I'm going to be a doctor." The smile on her face beamed brighter than any light he had ever seen, however, her words rushed to him.
He sat there in a quiet shock, unsure of how to respond. He didn't want to appear to be disappointed because he knew that that would hurt her, however, masking his disappointment was a difficult feat. He blinked, feigning confusion, "I'm sorry, what did you say? California?"
She nearly burst at the seams as she dramatically, without ceremony, flew off the couch, her eyes glittering with excitement, she turned and looked at him, all smiles, "Infectious Diseases... that's what I want to study. I want to work in a lab in a hospital and study germs, possible treatments for diseases... who knows?" She gave him an ambitious grin. "I might be on a team of doctors who discovers the cure for cancer...or AIDS."
Josh continued to blink... this was not what he had expected or anticipated. He had expected her to tell him that she was going to try to get into politics like her father...something–anything–that would make being together a somewhat easy reality. He swallowed hard and plastered on a smile and hoped that it looked genuine. Slowly, he raised himself up off the sofa and approached him, his hands finding their way onto her shoulders as he looked at her, his voice quiet, "You just came back, I thought--I hoped you were coming back to be with me."
Zoey looked at him, her smile fading, softly, "Josh... You don't need me here. You have your friends and you have your job. I just get in the way of things when I stick around. And besides . ." she sighed deeply, "I have to get out of the shadow of Jed and Abbey Bartlet. I love my parents deeply, but...It is time for me to be my own person, do my own thing. And I'm not sure if politics is what I want to do."
"Zoey" Josh replied softly, trying hard not to whine,"I thought you just did all that, got it out of your system. That was what you were doing in Europe. That you came home because you've sorted all those feelings out."
Zoey looked at him, her voice soft, "I know, Josh. And I know it seems ridiculous for me to go all the way to California when I just got back from a year in Paris, but..." She chewed her bottom lip a moment as she pondered a way to tell him this without hurting him. Taking in a deep breath, she just decided to spit it out, "Nothing is keeping me here. My father doesn't need me around right now, mom is happy playing the First Lady part, a part she plays beautifully, I might add. Charlie... He's doing his own thing now. My friends have all either gone to college or gone off and gotten married, and I just waste space here."
Josh winced at her answer. Nothing was keeping her there? What about their past? The love they shared? That wasn't enough to keep her there? Taking in a deep breath, he lowered his eyes briefly only to bring them back up again. In a voice that was barely audible, he looked at her and said, simply, "I need you."
Her face softened, she doesn't remember hearing him use that tone of voice with her before. Her eyes remained fixed on him as she reached out and gently caressed his jaw with the back of her fingers, speaking softly, "Josh, you don't need me. You have Sam, C.J., my dad, Leo, Toby, Donna. Plus a staff of interns who would give their right arm to have you wink at them. And you know that my time abroad was just to get a feel of other countries and cultures. Yes, I dabbled a little in Euromeds, but it takes 5 years to get a doctorate in medicine. Do you honestly think that if I stick around and work in politics just so we can have something that, in a remote sort of way, resembles a relationship? That sooner or later I won't grow to resent you and then you, in turn, will turn around and resent me for resenting you? I really want to do this, Josh, I think I can be good at this."
Josh froze at the quiet, careful tone she used, repeating to her, "Zoey, I need you." He cupped her face in his hands and moved even closer to her. His eyes bore into hers, he desperately wanted her to understand how he felt. However, for once in his life, he was at a loss for the right words. He looked into her eyes as his mind swam with what to say... He could see how excited that she was at this prospect of yet another adventure in life, and he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he didn't want to stand in the way of Zoey's happiness. He smiled at her softly as he leaned in to kiss her cheek softly, whispering into her ear, "What I want most in this world, what would make me happy, is for you to live your life the way you want so that you are happy. And I will do everything I can to make that happen."
Zoey's eyes trailed at the sound of his voice. She could hear the sincere love that screamed volumes, she nodded, a tear falling and then looked up at him, her voice an octave above a whisper, "Josh. I need to get out of DC. This place is killing me."
He nodded quietly understanding her needs, however, he didn't allow his eyes to fall from her's for a fraction of a second, he couldn't, he knew that if he did than he would lose her completely. He gently lifted her hand once more to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly, nodding quietly, "Do what you need to do, and know that while you are doing it, not only will I stand behind you on it, support and encourage you, but I will also do everything in my power to make sure that you aren't made to feel guilty for a moment about your decision."
Planting a soft, yet loving kiss, on her cheek, he slowly lowered her hands, placing them manually at her sides. He gave her, once again, a shadow of a smile and took a step back, vacating her personal space and the aura that surrounded Zoey Bartlet. "All I want out of life is your happiness." That said, he allowed his gaze to linger on his former lover, and still the one great love of his life, and slowly turned to leave.
Zoey watched him go, fearful that he was leaving her life for good, her heart pounding loudly within her chest, she blurted out loud, without hesitation, "Josh, I love you."
Josh turned sharply and looked at her again – he could never grow tired or bored with the sight of this exquisite woman, this woman who had entered his life at the tender and vulnerable age of sixteen, who had managed to capture his heart without either of them realizing it. She looked so distressed, so confused, so scared... he quickly retraced his steps and swept her into his arms in a bone crushing embrace and whispered into her hair "God, Zoey, I love you too. You don't know how much I've missed you." He held her away from him so he could once again look into her eyes. "I was so afraid you wouldn't come back to me. You did come back to me, didn't you?
Zoey looked at the man before her... this man played so many roles in her life... this man who, at first, was her surrogate big brother... the man who later became her best friend... the man who was her first lover... the man to whom she gave her virginity... but above all, the man who is still the greatest love in her life.
She looked at him, at his questioning eyes, and was brought back to reality. Nodding, she took in a deep breath and blinked back her tears, unsuccessfully, and whispered "I never left you, Josh."
He nodded as he held her slender hands in his, quietly, "Zoey, I know that now."
Stepping toward him, Josh caught her and held her closely while she sobbed, thinking of the young girl who grew into the beautiful women he loved. He resolved then and there that that somehow, someway, they would work this out.
Once her sobbing had subsided, and after he successfully swallowed the lump in this throat, he gently kissed the stain left from her tears. The stain ran through her makeup, causing her face to be streaked and damp, her eyes red and puffy. Zoey's eyes have always been particularly sensitive when she got emotional. She could be watching a movie and crying about the movie and her eyes would be red and puffy. It was something that she has been teased relentlessly about her entire life. Josh smiled softly as he ran the pads of his thumbs over her cheeks, speaking to her in the same quiet tone that he spoke to her earlier, "Zoey, please don't cry. Honey, please."
She took a deep breath and nodded, leaning in to softly kiss the crook of his neck. Stepping back, she let out a long sigh and ran her fingers through her mane of hair. Lacing her slender fingers behind her neck, they just looked at each other in silence, her eyes slowly trailing over his shoulder to glance at the doorway, the ever-present fear of someone walking in on them flickering in her eyes.
Josh's head turned at her direction and then shifted back to her. Zoey's expressively bright azure eyes slowly focused back onto him, whispering softly, "You can visit me in California. I know that my father likes using Joey Lucas for polling. Joey's firm is in California."
Josh shook his head as he slowly sat down on an overstuffed ottoman, softly, "Zoey, I can find reasons to go to California. But when I come, I don't want to hide. I want to be with you, I'm proud of you."
She looked at him as she slowly sat down next to him, their thighs touching lightly, softly, "Why now, Josh? Why now, when just thee years ago you wanted to keep us a secret? You didn't want it be known that we were a couple. Why the change of mind?"
He thought for a moment, he knew he had to get this right, he wanted to pour his heart out to her, but he didn't want her to feel as though he was smothering her. He was mindful of her need to get away from Washington, to continue on her path of self-determination. But how could he articulate that in a way which would keep him in her life?
Zoey looked at him, softly prompting him to answer her question. "Josh?"
He took in a deep breath as he gazed at her. "I've changed, Zoey. While you were gone, I tried to go out and be my old self." He gave her a self-deprecating grin, "I just didn't have it my heart to. Every woman I looked at, I compared to you. And I realized how much I wanted you. So I didn't. Didn't go out, that is."
He took her hands once again and drew her closer. "I couldn't, I mean, I haven't. I just couldn't go out with anyone." He stumbled over his words, as he so wanted to get this right. "I was waiting for you."
Zoey looked quickly away from him and stood up, crossing the room, not wanting him to see the tears which had pooled in her eyes. She sighed deeply as her walk led her to the large half-moon window which overlooked the rose garden. She gazed out at the garden and the grounds of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, remembering the stolen kisses, the giggles shared at private jokes, the masked insults slung at each other when they were fighting. She took in another deep breath, her back still towards him as her eyes closed as she sighed deeply, then she turned back around to face him, and softly replied "That doesn't explain why you had a sudden change of mind, Josh. Why you shot me down every time I begged you to take us public. You were always telling me the timing was wrong. Why now? Why is there a change?" Zoey shook her head, softly, "I just...I guess I don't understand."
Josh sighed softly himself, a hand running through his unruly hair, it was so obvious to him. How could he convince her?
Taking in a deep breath, he looked at her, softly, "It was the wrong time, Zoey. We were trying to get your father re-elected. We didn't need a sex scandal on top of everything else that was going on. You know, all that crap. Hell, I was being investigated, I could have been indicted. I could have been convicted, a felon. You were still in college; and I'm old. God, I'm old enough to be your father. And I was going out with Amy at the that time. I'm sorry, but I was two-timing you..."
Josh knew that he had to confess and receive her absolution for his past sins against her if they had any hope of resurrecting their relationship. He saw her formulating a reply, but rushed to continue, he wanted to clear the air between them. "But things have changed. You've changed. You're a med student now. You'll be clear across the country. You've lived abroad, on your own. You're sophisticated. And I've changed. Zoey, I've learned my lesson. I just want you, and no one else. Zoey, I haven't been with anyone since you left me."
She looked at him, then spoke softly, "Josh, do you think telling me that you were cheating on me with Amy is something new? I knew you were with Amy when you were with me. I'm not stupid Josh. I know that when we snuck around and you left me, you went straight to her. I knew that then. Josh..." he sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, carefully selecting her words, she looked at him. "You have a fidelity problem Josh. Yeah, you may not have been with a women while I was gone, but how can I believe that? How can I believe that when I know you were with other women when we were together?"
Josh quickly crossed the room, desperate to get her to believe him, "Jesus, Zoey, I know you kept tabs on me here. Did you hear anything? Ask anyone here. Every time I go on a fucking date, its in the fucking Post. 'Lyman's Latest'. Damn it, all I've done was work round the clock for your father. Check the logs. I'm always here." In a quite, deadly voice, "I have changed. I don't want to be Peter Pan anymore. I've outgrown the lost boys, Wendy and Treasure Island. I want to grow up. I want a wife. I want a home. I want kids. And I want you to have all of those things with me. Zoey, all I thought about this past year and a half was you. I even dreamt about you. I dreamt about a future with you. And I know, Zoey, I know about our age difference, and I realize that you could have probably any man on this planet that you wanted, but I want you to know my feelings."
She looked at him, blinking as a tear fell, whispering, "I don't want Peter Pan to resent me later on in life, Josh."
Josh looked at her as he again brushed his hand over her velvety cheek, whispering, "I would never resent you, Zoey. I love you. I want to be with you, I want to do it right this time."
Zoey took a deep breath, nodding, whispering as a smiled tugged at her lips. Okay."
"Okay? You're okay with all that? You want me back?"
She nodded as she crossed the steps between them and slipped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder, whispering, "Yes."
Josh closed his eyes in relief, his arms encircling her in a tight embrace, "Oh God, Zoey. I've missed you so much." He whispered into her hair. He held her tight for several minutes, just enjoying the feel of her in his arms, the wafting scent of her perfume, her soft, warm breath on his neck. He had forgotten how tiny she was.
He murmured into her ear, "I've got to go the dinner at the French Embassy tomorrow night. Would you come as with me, as my date? We could go to my place afterwards. We could kick back, hang out, and compare notes on backpacking in Europe or something."
Zoey pulled back and looked at him, a brow arched. "You backpacked through Europe?"
"Of course I did - doesn't everyone? How could you not go to Europe and not? And I am a true connoisseur of the backpack, I have continued that noble tradition, much to my derision from fellow Washingtonians."
She nodded and laughed, grinning at him, "Josh, where is your backpack?"
Josh blinked a second, pointing at the doorway, "Uh, by the door."
She smiled at him sweetly and walked over to the door, then scooped up the bag. She took it to the couch, then, while humming quietly to herself as she unzipped it, Zoey pulled out files, magazines, folders, pens, pencils... everything. She made sure the bag was completely empty, meticulously checking the pockets and flaps and zippers, then walked over to the roaring fire she flung the bag into the fireplace all the while watching him. "You are a grown man, Peter Pan. Buy a damn briefcase."
His face registered pure shock. "Um, yeah." He looked at the mess on the couch, then back at her, took a gulp of air, then asked, "So, then is it a date? Will you come with me tomorrow?"
Zoey smiled at him, amused at the look of horror on his face as he assessed the contents of what was in his now burning backpack. She leaned up against the wall, crossed her arms over her chest, with a small smirk on her face, "I'll have to check my date book, but I'm sure I can squeeze that event in."
"Great." He sidled up to her and gathered her into his arms. "As much as I'd love to stay, I think I should go. I've got to get up early and go shopping."
She laughed as she nodded, kissed him softly, her fingers slowly drifting lightly down his chest, "What's the dress code tomorrow night?"
"Formal dinner, tuxes; I'll talk to your chief agent and arrange transportation, we'll leave here at 7:00. I'll have them clear my place tomorrow so we can kick back later." He moaned as her fingers did their magic dance on this chest. "Zoey, I'll stand at the top of the embassy and shout I love you, if you want me to."
She laughed softly and leaned in, her voice a whisper as she fluttered her lips over his, "First, lets tell my parents and our friends."
"Hmm, kay." He gently kissed her soft lips and felt them slightly part. He felt her tongue lick his lips, then tentatively part them. He deepened the kiss, and they both felt his body react to her closeness. He hadn't told her, but he'd been celibate for over a year, and his body clearly wanted to make up for lost time.
Zoey quietly groaned in the kiss. She could feel his desire, she didn't just recently fall off the turnip truck. She knew what that feeling was that was nudging her stomach, regretfully she pulled back and gave him a soft smile, smoothing his shirt down with her hands, she looked up at him and in a voice that promised more when they weren't in the White House, she grudgingly stated "Go Home, Josh."
"Okay" He made a pathetic attempt to gather his things together. Zoey took pity on him and helped him pile them into his arms, then sent him on is way.
The Next Day
The day went surprisingly fast. Josh kept the reliable banter with Donna going all day, his mind only briefly going to Zoey. He looked forward to the evening. Stepping out at lunch to go home and get his tux, Josh came back to the office and worked the rest of the afternoon, burying himself in reports. It was around six when he glanced at the clock and immediately got his ass in gear and quickly got dressed.
At exactly 6:45, Josh barreled into C.J.'s office, bow tie in hand, a bundle of nervous energy.
"Claudia - I'm late, I can't find Donna, I can't tie this damned bow tie, she's gonna be pissed, I am so late, I need help." His staccato cadence rat-a-tatted his stress.
"Slow down, mi armoire, slow down. Here give that to me. Donna's going to be pissed? " C.J. replied as she took the tie and placed it around his heck.
"No, Zoey is." He replied as he tried to stand still so C.J. could work on his tie.
"Zoey?" She questioned, eyebrow arched, while knotting the tie.
"Yeah, Zoey, our Zoey, she's my date." He replied, carefully watching C.J.'s reaction to his declaration.
"Our Zoey? Zoey Bartlet?" C.J.'s eyes opened wide, as she pulled the tie tighter than necessary.
"The one and only." he glibly replied as C.J. pulled even tighter, strangling him with his own tie.
C.J. suddenly got serious, as she realized what he had said. "Josh – where are you taking Zoey Bartlet?"
"The thing at the French Embassy."
C.J. switched to full press secretary mode, "Josh - why are you taking Zoey Bartlet to the thing at the French Embassy?"
As he struggled to breath, a random thought crossed Josh's mind; she should have been an interrogator for the CIA. He reached up and loosened the tie and took a deep breath, responding with the carefully constructed rationale he had spent the entire day crafting, "Cause at the party last night I mentioned I was going to it, and she said she'd like to go and see some of her French friends. She wasn't invited, and I didn't have a date, so I asked if she'd like to go with me. And she is my secret weapon."
C.J. could not hide her smirk, "Secret weapon? Is this another one of your secret plans?"
Great, she is buying this, I am the master strategist, he thought, while responding, with the appropriate body language, "Yeah, Senator Jeffords is going to be there, and I've been trying to nail him on the Clean Water Act re-authorization. He's been avoiding me, but he can't snub Zoey at a social gathering. So, we get there, mingle, check out the French chicks, shmooze a little, Zoey entices him into my lair, I pounce and maul him while Zoey's free to mingle with her friends. This is going to be so much fun! Plus, Zoey and I want to compare notes about our respective adventures in Europe."
The last little tidbit was a masterpiece of forethought; if anyone found out he took her back to his apartment, C.J. could say they were rehashing old times. Which would be true, although more like re- enacting old times he thought, failing to keep a slight smirk off his face.
Time for the coup de grace.
"And I get to speak French!." His dimples were in full force now.
"And this is because you want to amaze Washington with your ability to speak French? Come to think of it, when did you learn to speak French?"
"C.J., mon amour, je suis un homme de beaucoup de talents cachéés. Je parle beaucoup de langues, Français, poli, Yiddish, allemand, et vous pas , ainsi je n'ai pas indiquéé mes capacitéés linguistiques àà vous "
CJ glanced at him, a brow arched, "I beg your pardon?"
Josh struggled to conceal his grin, "C.J., meine Liebe, bin ich ein Mann vieler versteckter Talente. Ich spreche viele Sprachen, Franzosen, Poliermittel, Yiddish, und deutsch, und Sie nicht, also habe ich meine linguistischen Fäähigkeiten nicht zu Ihnen aufgedeckt."
She crossed her arms and glared at him, unamused. "Okay, now you're scaring me. You planning on getting a gig at the U.N. after the White House?"
Josh grinned wider at her, "C.J., my love, I am a man of many hidden talents. I speak many languages, French, Polish, Yiddish, and German, and you don't; so I haven't revealed my linguistic abilities to you. "
CJ rolled her eyes and finished off tying Josh's tie. Looking at him, she said, "If you are through showing off now, I have to go back to my office and work on some briefings for tomorrow. Have fun tonight and don't do anything that will result in me having to kill you in the morning." That said, she turned to leave, leaving Josh to continue on with his grin fest, patting his own back.
Diversionary tactic worked, you are da man
He had successfully planted the idea of Josh Lyman, Machiavellian politician and D.C. Playboy, in C.J.'s brain, thus clearing the way for his and Zoey's plan of secretive dating in plain view of Washington.
Just as he was grabbing his coat, his pager went off. Glancing down at the message, his grin turned into a full fledged smile. Quickly pocketing his wallet, he hurried off to the Residence, shrugging his jacket on as he walked down the hall.
Zoey fidgeted as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. The black velvet dress enshrouded her like an elegant cloak. She brought her hand up to a bare shoulder... This was the first time she's ever worn a strapless dress and she was a little nervous that she didn't have the top to keep it up all night. Giving it a final tug, she walked over and picked her jewelry up... a modest, yet dignified, diamond solitaire floating necklace and simple diamond studs which would adorn her ears. She picked up the charm bracelet which was a gift from her family and looked at it, normally she wouldn't think twice about not wearing it, but for some reason, tonight she placed it back in her jewelry box.
Glancing at the clock on her vanity, she quickly dabbed on just a smidgen of lip gloss to give her lips some added shine and spritzed herself with some perfume, a flagrance she knows drives Josh wild. Slipping into her pumps, Zoey grabbed her wrap and small clutch bag and headed into the living room of the Residence just as she heard the knock on the door.
Jed glanced up at the sounds of heels clicking on the floor and looked at his youngest daughter and smiled softly. Folding his paper, he stood up and removed his glasses and walked over to her, kissing her cheek softly. "You look absolutely stunning, Zoey. You tell Josh to mind his p's and q's, got it?"
She laughed softly and nodded, kissing his cheek fondly. "I promise, Dad."
As if on cue, Josh walked in, decked out in his tux, even sporting a top coat. His jaw dropped when he saw Zoey and then he remembered where he was and who else was in the room. Smiling at the President, Josh tried to keep his voice even and calm. "Good evening, Sir."
Jed gave his deputy chief of staff a polite smile and nod. "Josh... You take care of her. You are toting precious cargo tonight."
Josh nodded and winked at Zoey. "Yes, Sir, I promise to."
The President nodded again. "Abbey tells me that you two are planning to head over to Josh's tonight?"
Zoey swallowed hard, suddenly feeling like a 17 year old begging for permission to stay out an extra hour. "Yeah, we were going to just hang out, catch up, and watch videos at his place. He's got a guest room so I was going to just crash there."
Jed regarded this as he looked at his offspring, "You have your panic button?"
Zoey unzipped her purse and took out the small key chain that looked identical to one of those key chains that unlocked vehicles. "Yep."
"And what about protection?"
Josh gulped hard and Zoey stepped in, saving him, "The detail has already swept through Josh's apartment this afternoon, and they will remain in a parked car across the street, it will look discreet and besides, it's not like Josh and I will be hitting the club scene or anything."
Jed narrowed his eyes at his daughter. "You had better not."
"Jed, will you stop keeping them and let them go already?"
All eyes turned to the doorway to see Abbey leaning against the jamb, rubbing lotion on her arms and elbows. "Josh is a good man, Jed. He won't let anything happen to Zoey."
Josh nodded in affirmation, "Exactly right, Ma'am."
Abbey smiled at him and then kissed her daughter's cheek. "Have fun, sweetheart."
Zoey smiled and nodded. "I plan to."
After everything was said and done, Josh led Zoey out of the Residence to the waiting limo.
The ride to the Embassy was uneventful. Josh and Zoey, ironically, remained quiet, murmuring only quiet bservances. Josh found his hand on Zoey's thigh on more than one occasion and Zoey couldn't help but feel the butterflies invade her stomach, which she cursed. She knew that she shouldn't be so nervous with Josh – of all people! –but she just couldn't help it. This was their first official non-official date.
They felt the limo slow and eventually come to a stop. Josh gripped Zoey's thigh gently as a silent affirmation of his love for her. As the door opened, Josh removed his hand and handed his date her bag and smiled at her before scooting out of the car.
Zoey emerged from the limo next, and accepted Josh's outstretched hand to help her out. She looked around as she carefully adjusted her ice blue wrap, a smile on her face, then when she refocused her attention on her date, she noticed his tie was crooked. She reached out and straightened it for him.
He grinned down at her and whispered, "Are you ready for all of this?" as they were immersed in the brilliance of the photographer's flashes capturing the gesture of familiarity.
She looked up at him and leaned forward to kiss his cheek softly, her lips grazed the corner of his mouth. She smiled at him. "More than ready."
He gently removed her hands from the tie, giving them a reassuring squeeze, "Let the show begin." Then he turned to lead her, hand in hand, over the red carpet towards the embassy, her agents trailing behind them.
Zoey smiled politely at the photographers, her hand gripping Josh's nervously as she spied the quick flashing of the cameras. Once they were inside, she released the breath she didn't know she was holding. She removed her wrap, revealing her stately, yet elegant, black velvet dress. Josh carefully helped her remove her wrap, his hands lingering on her shoulders only a fraction of a second longer than necessary. Caressing her soft, bare skin he handed the wrap to the attendant with a smile and then quickly pocketed her coat check. Running his hands through the inner pockets of his coat, Josh found the entry pass and they quietly joined the entrance line, awaiting their formal introduction to the room.
The room fell deafly silent after the attendant announced their arrival in perfect French.
Every eye in the room fell on them. Josh reached down and captured her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze as Zoey sucked in a nervous, deep breath. She gave the French Ambassador a radiant smile as he scurried over to greet his unexpected guest.
As the Ambassador made his way over to her, Zoey could feel every eye in the house boring into Josh and her, she could hear the quiet whispers--in both French and English--and she couldn't help but wonder what the front page of all the major newspapers in the world would say tomorrow.
When His Excellency Francois Bujon de l'Estang reached her, he enveloped her into a tight hug and welcomed her. Zoey, politely kissed his cheek softly and tried not to act like a nervous child.
Josh watched the Ambassador and Zoey, and felt that the ambassador seemed overly agitated for some reason as he over zealously welcomed the First Daughter.
He cursed himself as he suddenly realized he had committed a social faux pas and a diplomatic crises. He forgot to tell the French Zoey was his date. He sighed deeply as it occurred to him that Donna handled all that stuff. Quickly working overtime, Josh formulated the best way to deal with this without embarrassing himself, Zoey, and, more importantly, the President.
He looked around and saw people bustling around in a dignified manner as someone struggled to track down the calligrapher to revise the seating charts and name cards on the tables. He sighed deeply, realizing that the protocol office is going to ream him out for this, to say nothing of CJ.
Josh gave Ambassador de l'Estang a polite, and apologetic smile as he shook his hand respectfully, speaking in French–something he hoped would garner him points with the French for committing this faux pas–Josh said, "Mr. Ambassador, thank you for your kind invitation to this gathering. I do apologize for not notifying you of Ms. Bartlet's attendance. Just last evening I was telling her of how I was looking forward to coming. And she indicated she would love to attend. How could I resist? I know she just returned from your lovely country, I think she is already missing it."
Josh grinned as he silently congratulated himself. Just enough bull to pull this off and convince the press that they are not dating, he hoped.
Zoey watch as Josh explained her presence, fighting to cover her smile. If the Ambassador only knew that in a mere matter of hours she would be in Josh's bed... she quickly covered her giggle with a small, polite cough. Beyond her date and the Ambassador, Zoey spotted someone who sparked familiarity in her. She reached down and touched Josh's fingers lightly and looked at him, a small smile on her face, "Would you please excuse me? I've spotted an old flame."
Leaving Josh, Zoey crossed the room and smiled softly at Jean-Paul. It had been some time since they had seen each other and he was just as handsome as she had remembered. Smiling at him softly as she sat down across from him, Zoey said, "Well, long time no see."
Jean-Paul tried to focus his eyes on the stunning brunette who just addressed him. His drug addled brain struggled to place her face - then it came to him - Zoey Bartlet - his former flame, what was she doing here?
"Uh, hello, Zoey. How are you?"
He responded loudly so all in the immediate vicinity could hear. Yes, he remembered watching her entrance, with her father's lackey in tow.
"I am well."
"Quite an entrance you made there. Your new lover? So - interns, blacks, aristocrats, now Jews? You have extremely eclectic taste in men. How very democratic of you; men of all races, creeds and colors. So, do you like your new sugar daddy? Do you enjoy being arm candy for an old man?"
Zoey's eyes narrowed at him, she glanced around the room and saw the curious stares of those around her. She lowered her voice to an angry whisper, "I thought you were better than this Jean-Paul. You are stoned and you are acting like an ass. I thought I'd be nice by coming over and saying hello... Boy, do I regret that."
She turned to leave. He suddenly rose from his chair and made a clumsy attempt to grab her arm but he missed and stumbled into her. She could see her agents moving towards them and thought fast on her feet. She did not want an incident tonight.
She helped to steady him, pretending that he had tripped, while she glared at him, softly, saying so no one else could hear, "Go to rehab."
As she turned to leave again, he grabbed her arm tightly and pulled her to him, she gave her agents a small smile, for appearances only, to reassure them. She quickly turned to Jean-Paul, whispering harshly, "Let go of my arm now."
Meanwhile, across the room, Josh had managed to capture Senator Jeffords and swiftly haggled a trade which ensured Jeffords' vote for the Clean Water Act Re-authorization. Mrs. Jeffords interrupted them when she saw that Zoey was in distress. "Mr. Lyman, isn't that your date over there?" She discreetly pointed towards Zoey who was being harassed by her ex-boyfriend.
His eyes narrowed as he took in the tableaux of Zoey in Jean-Paul's arms and her agents frozen in indecision. "Yes, Mrs. Jeffords, I seem to have misplaced her, will you excuse me? "
He quickly moved towards them, thinking this was rapidly turning into a hellish night.
"Zoey, you didn't tell me Jean-Paul was here. I'm delighted to see you." He managed to place himself between the two of them, and quietly gave the agents a signal to follow him.
"Zoey told me how much she appreciates the hospitality shown to her by your family." He managed to walk the stoned prince away from Zoey. The agents split, one followed Zoey, who was making her way to the ladies' room for self- composure, and the other Jean-Paul and Josh. The witnesses to the incident felt that they had been mistaken, nothing was out of the ordinary and drifted away.
Josh managed to get Jean-Paul into a corner and spoke softly with a deadly intensity.
"I am now with her. You are not, nor will you every be with her again. You will not insult her. If you get anywhere near her, I will tear you apart with my own hands. I will ask the President to issue a shoot to kill on sight order to her agents. I will turn the CIA loose on you. You will disappear without a trace. Do you understand me?"
He really couldn't do any of those things, but Jean Paul was too stoned and stupid to realize that. Well, he could and would tear him apart with his own hands. Jean-Paul looked over Josh's shoulder and saw the agent standing there, his jacket slightly opened, displaying his gun. He got the picture, and slowly nodded.
"Good. Now why don't you go make nice the with the Ambassador and excuse yourself for the rest of the evening. In fact, we'll walk over there together so that everyone knows we are one big happy family."
Exiting the bathroom, Zoey watched Josh, stunned. She had never seen Josh this commanding before. Josh was definitely a learning experience for her. She allowed herself to lag behind as he lead Jean-Paul towards the Ambassador. Murmuring to her agents, she slipped outside to get some fresh air and calm down a little.
Josh and the Ambassador exchanged meaningful looks. The prince's drug habits had exacerbated to the point where he was a liability to the embassy. Diplomatic immunity was not meant to cover drug deals and the like. The Ambassador was rapidly losing political capital in dealing with Jean-Paul. The veiled attack on the President's daughter was the last straw.
"Mr. Ambassador, Jean-Paul has indicated he is not feeling well. Perhaps someone from your office could escort him home."
"Thank you, Mr. yman." He signaled to an aide, then gave him rapid fire instructions in French, to quick for Josh to follow. Jean Paul was quickly escorted out of the building.
The Ambassador turned to Josh. "Thank you for handling that little situation. I will see to it he is on the next flight to France. I understand Miss Bartlet and you will be seated at my table. I look forward to dining with you."
"Thank you, Sir. Miss Bartlet seems to have disappeared. Please excuse so that I can find her before the dinner announcement." He hurried off to the French doors her agent was stationed before.
Zoey quietly stood outside on the verandah. She sighed deeply as she locked eyes with the full moon, her mind a gossamer of thoughts. She slowly wrapped her arms around her body as she felt a chill, unaware that Josh had joined her.
Josh observed Zoey shivering in the moonlight. Why couldn't they just be a normal couple, why did people use them and abuse them? He just wanted to scoop her up and disappear. He sidled behind her and gathered her into his arms pulling her into a tight embrace.
"Penny for your thoughts, love."
Zoey quietly smiled when she felt his arms encircle her. Leaning back into his embrace, she closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "It's just so sad, Josh. Someone as talented and smart as him turning to drugs, and then making an ass out of himself. And then, basically, calling me a whore." She sighed again as she turned within his embrace and looked at him, speaking softly, "I just wish we could escape someplace and not have to deal with the press, with politics, with who my parents are, with the secret service... Just be us."
Josh nodded as he brushed his lips over her neck... she felt so good in his arms, he wished they could just stay like that all evening. "Me too. Zoey, we'll figure something out." He murmured in her ear, finishing his sentence with a kiss. "Perhaps it won't be so bad for you at Stanford."
She nodded quietly and spoke softly, "I'm just glad that I told my parents that I was going to be going back to your place tonight. I called the White House while I was in the bathroom and I asked someone to go and get a change of clothes for me and some essentials and take them back to your place. They should be there by the time we get there. It will be so nice to just forget who my parents are and my duties as First Daughter. Perhaps... I'll seduce a man tonight... see if I can't trap him in my lair."
She looked up into his eyes, her desire obvious... He glanced around to assure himself no one was watching them and then kissed her deeply and passionately. "Mmm, yeah, that will be great. I'm sure you can find a nice guy to seduce tonight." He gave her a grin to which Zoey punished him by poking him in his ribs. They shared a quiet laugh and then he kissed her temple, whispering softly, "But, my love, we can't stand the Ambassador up, they've moved heaven and earth to rearrange the seating. We're sitting with him. Although, if you suddenly came down with a migraine during dessert, we may
be able to ditch this place quicker."
She grinned at him and turned her head to kiss him, her fingers running down
his jaw to his neck and finally dancing down his chest slowly, nodding at his words. "I don't think that will be a difficult feat to accomplish."
He grinned at her, "Somehow, I knew you'd be able to do that." They heard a discrete cough and turned as her agent stated. "They've announced dinner."
Zoey gave her agent a radiant smile, grateful that he was bound to his job and couldn't ever repeat anything that he witnessed his charge doing. Josh placed his hand in the small of her back and lead her into the room. Entering the room again, Zoey ignored the look of disapproval on her agent's face. Zoey Bartlet didn't answer to her agents. She knew that she was legally an adult engaged in a consensual relationship with another adult. It suddenly dawned on her that her feelings had changed. It amazed her that before she went to Europe, she was ready to tell the world and Josh was reserved. Now that
she's back, it was as if she and Josh had switched attitudes. Now it was Josh who wanted to tell the world and who was ready; meanwhile, Zoey was now the one nervous about the repercussions.
She smiled in gratitude as Josh pulled out her chair and seated her, she crossed her ankles, unfolding her linen napkin, and placed it in her lap. They were the last couple to be seated, yet again causing everyone to stare at them. Well, he wanted them to start being seen in public together, but not this much this soon. He glanced at Zoey and gave her a reassuring nod. He then turned to his hostess, the Ambassador's wife.
"Merci de votre invitation aimable ce soir."
He was actually thinking, why do you have seven courses? Let's get the small talk over with and eat. They enjoyed the dinner, Zoey half-listening to the conversation, when it was directed at her, she gave her most diplomatic smile and reply. Throughout the entire dinner, no one noticed she had one hand under the table, casually resting on Josh's knee. Josh, for his part, had slipped one of his own hands under the table and was gliding it up her thigh, he could feel the hem of the slit in her dress and had it parted, her thigh visible in the dark as his hand ran up and down it slowly. Once, as she spotted Josh sipping his champagne, Zoey slowly parted her legs, allowing his hand to fall between them. Josh almost choked on his drink as his finger came into contact with Zoey's satin panties. It was all she could do not to giggle. They both realized, however, that the intimate touching was comfortable for them, it calmed them, and it was a discrete way for them to arouse the other in preparation for the coming activities.
"Yes," she thought, "I could definitely get used to loving this man publicly."
As the waiters removed the remains of the Tarte aux Poires et Frangipane and refilled the delicate coffee cups, Zoey took her cue and bowed her head while rubbing her temples with both hands. She could feel Josh's hand on her shoulder as he stage whispered. "Are you all right, Zoey?"
She turned her head towards him, her hands hiding her wink.
"Of course" His face was full of concern as he made excuses to the table. The Ambassador stood to shake their hands goodby, and pulled Josh aside.
Great, yet again they were the center of attention - the papers are going to have a field day.
"I hope that little incident has not distressed Miss Bartlet."
Think, think, think, gotta fix this Josh couldn't think straight anymore, it had been a nerve-wracking evening. Might was well go with the truth.
"I'm afraid it has, and I believe her migraine has been brought on by her fears of the press coverage."
The ambassador, a seasoned diplomat, smiled broadly. The press was nothing, he could easily fix this little problem, and get in the President's good graces.
"I assure you, Mr. Lyman, I will take care of that for you. Please, let me escort you to the door."
That one little act, a personal escort to the door by the trend setter of the diplomatic set, would put society's stamp of approval on the couple. It would ensure that the press behaved, and would move the couple to the top of the A List of Washington hostesses. And it took so little effort.
The Ambassador was quite pleased with the evening, he got rid of a persistent problem, and could claim credit for launching Washington's newest couple into the glitterita. Little did Josh and Zoey realize what pandemonium their first official date would create. Now that Zoey had graduated, the press was finally freed from the unspoken taboo against reporting on the lives of Presidential children. She was open game - and out with Washington's most notorious playboy. What a coup for the reporters on the social beat. A Presidential scandal on their watch.
Once they were in the limo, Zoey pulled out the clip which held her auburn tresses firmly in place. Pushing the button to raise the partition, Zoey ran her fingers through her mane of thick curls. Josh watched her, an amused smile on her face. "Care to go for a drive around the city?"
Zoey turned and looked at him, "Why?"
He grinned at her as he slipped off the bench seat and onto the floor, laying her down. Reaching up her gown, his hands found her panties and slowly peeled them off, grinning at her, "I'm in the mood for a little bit of fun."
She laughed softly and shook her head. "You can't wait till we get to your place?"
"Nope," he grinned, his fingers playing with her panties, "And judging by the state of these, neither can you."
Zoey blushed crimson as she looked at him, whispering, "Protection?"
Josh expertly reached into his inner pocket and removed a foil square containing a fresh condom.
They quickly got to business. Afterwards, Zoey ran her fingers through her hair again and straightened her dress as Josh zipped up, grinning at her like a Cheshire cat.
"Why, Miss Bartlet, I do believe you are a good fuck."
Zoey gave him a flirty grin, "Why, thank you, Mr. Lyman, you aren't so bad yourself."
They shared a quiet laugh as the car pulled up to Josh's apartment. She smiled at him, kissing him softly, "Thank you for rescuing me tonight from Jean-Paul."
He grinned at her, "Hey, I'm your knight in shining armor, rescuing the lovely damsel in distress from the evil prince, and now that I've successfully snuck my beautiful Rapunzel past the evil ogre guarding her palace, I can whisk her off to my castle and live happily ever after with her."
She laughed and leaned in to kiss him again. As the limo came to a stop, the door open, shining a bright light onto them. Zoey quickly broke the kiss, lowering her head as she felt a flush fill her cheeks. She grabbed her wrap and purse and climbed out of the back of the limo herself, not looking at the doorman.
Josh slowly followed and looked the doorman in the straight in the eye.
"Good evening, Sir."
"Lovely night." Josh chuckled as he watched Zoey flee into the door. Obviously she did not know that the doorman do not look into, but rather away from a vehicle's interior when opening the doors. Six years of traveling in Presidential motorcades taught him that fact. He casually glanced at the security cameras, then back to the limo. Nope, not in their line of sight. Secret is safe. He grinned and dismissed the driver, then followed Zoey into his apartment building.
The two of them walked into the lobby of the old Georgetown apartment building. The exterior was a very sophisticated red brick with white trim, giving the antique building a Federal look to it. Walking into the lobby, Zoey glanced around at the framed prints of vintage Washington, DC. Portraits of past Presidents–Kennedy, Johnson, Lincoln, Jefferson, Eisenhower, and, of course, the granddaddy of them all, George Washington–and posters of the White House, memorials, and the Vietnam Wall graced the walls. Zoey found it very fitting that a member of the White House staff would live in such a building.
She stood beside him as he took his key out and unlocked his mailbox, retrieving his mail. He smiled at the doorman and explained that Zoey was going to be a guest of his during the night. He told the doorman not to be alarmed if members of the Secret Service took posts in the lobby and halls. The doorman nodded and chatted politely with Zoey and soon she and Josh were on their way to his apartment.
As they rode the elevator, Zoey smiled at him, her voice displaying a hint of surprise, "You got rid of the brownstone?"
"Yeah. They were converting the apartments to condos. And I didn't want to buy it and deal with owning a piece of property. This is nicer, and closer to work." He explained as the elevator reached the ninth floor and dinged. The doors opened and the agents checked the hallway first and gave them the go-ahead. Stepping out into the hallway, Josh led Zoey to his apartment and Zoey took in the number–9215.
Unlocking the door, Josh stepped aside and let Zoey enter first. Walking inside, she looked around in surprise. The apartment was pristine and immaculate. It had obviously been professionally decorated. She turned around and looked at him, a small smile on her face, "Peter Pan knows how to clean house. I'm impressed."
"Peter Pan knows how to do many, many things. You want a drink?" He stated as he flipped on the Dido CD he had specially purchased that morning. She had mentioned that she loved it during the party the night before.
Zoey smiled as she kicked her shoes off. "Please."
Glancing around, she walked into a small hallway and saw his bedroom. She called back towards the kitchen. "Josh, I'm going to use the bathroom a minute. I'll be right back."
Slipping into the bedroom, Zoey spied her overnight bag and assumed that the aide from the White House must have just put it there, not knowing where else to leave it. She slipped into the bathroom and noticed an adjoining door leading to his bedroom. Sneaking into the bedroom, she peeked out the bedroom door, and down the hallway. She saw him moving about the kitchen, then quickly entered his large, walk-in closet.
Hard to believe such a rumpled man could have such an impressive wardrobe she thought as she ran her fingers over the row of crisp, starched dress shirts. New apartment, new furniture, new clothes, Josh truly has been changing she thought. She smiled softly as she selected a slate blue shirt and took it into the bathroom.
After quickly unzipping her dress and peeling off her hose, Zoey slipped his shirt on, buttoned a few buttons in the middle--enough to keep it closed and yet remain sexy.
She looked around, then grabbed his hairbrush and brushed her long hair out so that it flowed over her shoulders. After she neatly folded her dress, she returned to his bedroom and draped it over a chair to ensure it wouldn't wrinkle.
She padded barefoot back towards the kitchen, clad only in his shirt. She wrapped her arms around his waist, she rested her head on in his back, whispering softly, "I love you."
Josh didn't hear her come up behind him, he was concentrating on the stubborn cork. He jerked at her touch, and the change in pressure suddenly forced the cork up and out with a loud pop.
They both turned instinctively towards the door, waiting to see if agents would come storming in, apparently champagne corks popping were a sound they were accustomed to. Bubbly spilled all over the counter top, he managed to catch some of it in the crystal glasses he had purchased earlier that day, expressly for tonight.
She couldn't help but laugh at him when he spilled the champagne. She hopped up on his counter and took the offered glass, smiling at him as she sipped her drink. "I took the liberty of raiding your closet."
Josh gave her a grin as he walked over to her. Placing his hands on the counter beside her bare thighs, he leaned down and brushed his lips over her flawless beauty. "I see that, looks much better on you than on me." He downed his champagne in one swallow. He hadn't touched much all evening, mindful of his self- imposed two drink limit. He wanted to be able to remember every second of this evening.
"You were stunning tonight, Zoey. I can't describe how I felt, walking you in on my arm, everyone looking at us." He saw her wince slightly. "What, did I say something wrong?"
Zoey slipped off the counter and walked a few spaces away from him, looking out his large plate glass window with the amazing view of the District, softly, "Jean-Pierre said I was nothing more than arm candy."
Josh was immediately behind her, and turned her towards him. "That bastard. Zoey, you know that's not true."
She nodded and smiled softly, "I know." She sighed deeply as she wrapped her arms around him, "I guess I shouldn't let the little things bother me."
He held her tightly, and then considered how to phrase his next, statement. He had to ensure she really wanted this. He gently kissed her. "You know, this is going to be hard on us, I really want this to work out for us, but there's going to be a lot pressure, people are going to say things, it might get nasty. Are you sure you want to subject yourself to all that, for me?"
He held his breathe as he waited for her response, he was afraid she would reconsider, but he wanted to give her the opportunity to walk away with no hard feelings if she was indeed having second thoughts.
Zoey returned to her perch on the counter and looked at him for a very long moment, "Josh, I know what I want. As long as I know that you are on my side, I can handle whatever they throw at us."
He kissed her softly, gently probing her lips with his tongue, the lingering taste of champagne tickling his taste buds. Zoey couldn't help but grin as he kissed her, she didn't realize how much she missed him and the feeling of his lips on hers. She reached out slowly, her fingers running down his chest lightly as she scooted her body closer to the edge of the counter. Josh pulled her towards him, separating her thighs and pushed himself between them, pulling her towards him. He had waited to long for this moment–although he knew that what they shared in the limo was merely an appetizer to what
they would share tonight–he wanted her, and he wanted her now.
Zoey groaned quietly as he pushed her thighs apart, she softly broke the kiss and grinned at him, whispering, "Need something, Lyman?"
"Oh god, I've been waiting for you for too long, can you feel what you do to me?"
Zoey grinned at him as she grazed his chest with her foot. "Half an hour is hardly 'too long', Josh."
Josh chuckled as he set the glasses aside and carefully laid her out onto the counter. Grabbing a stool, he sat down in front of the counter and wrapped his hands around her legs, giving her a tug to scoot her down the counter, fully aware that as she moved over the tiles, the shirt would gather up around her. Looking at her, he grinned, "Half an hour without you is like an eternity, Zoey."
His plan for the night was to get this beautiful creature to orgasm as many times as he could.
