Enter the Yuffie
"Yuffie Kisa-fucking-ragi!" Barret Wallace screeched. "Get your skinny ass back here!"
Holy Leviathan. Some people are so touchy. It was only three hundred gil. Gawd. I mean, I could've justified myself to the overly sensitive man, why I had chosen to sneak into his room at the inn while his back was turned as he cleaned his gun to, ah, borrow the wallet that lay on his bed. I really did have my reasons and all. But the thing is, it's much more fun to use my ninja skills of DOOM! I mean justice. Ninja skills of justice.
So I was running down the stairs of the inn at Costa del Sol. This would be a helluva lot of fun. Whee!
Barret was following behind me, roaring at the top of the stairs. "Get back here right now, you little-"
"Hey, hey now, Mr. Wallace! Just wait until I write to Ms. Elmyra Gainsborough and tell her you've been using a potty mouth!" I edged toward the door. "So stop right there! Marlene wouldn't want you to beat up a poor little girl, would she? I mean-"
"Gimme my money!" He literally jumped down the stairs and started toward me, looking murderous.
"Yikes! Um!" I pointed my shuriken in his direction, my prized materia glittering. "Caste slow!" One little orb began to glow, and suddenly Barret was running in slow motion. "From Yuffie with love!" I winked and ran out the door, ignoring the loud, angry cursing behind me.
Victory! Boo-yah! Kisaragi is rockin' da house! Or, that is until Barret catches me... Ya know, he really ought to lighten up. Literally! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
... Okay, so that wasn't all that funny. Bite me.
So anyway, I ran through the streets of Costa del Sol, trying to get as far away from the Inn as possible. After all, it wouldn't be long before someone Dispelled the man. Run run run run, Yuffie. Ignooooore the Materia stand. Don't even look. Don't look don't look-
Holy shit! They have Aero materia! Ooh, happy Yuffie! Oh my gawd oh my gawd! ..Now to look at the price. To steal or not to steal. Maybe I could buy it, but that's waaay less fun.
"Hey there, lovely girl!" The stand's keeper grinned. He was a middle aged man in shorts, just shorts (they were an irritating shade of macoroni yellow), and he was mega-uber tan but with a beer belly. "See anything ya like, mate?" Big cheesy grin. He was missing a tooth, right in front.
"Yeah, I do." I picked up one of the Aero materias and admired the green glow. "How much for this baby?"
"That would be twelve hundred gil. Very nice materia, that is, hard to get in these parts, too." He nodded knowingly, smiling that fake I-want-your-money smile. The same smile I often use! Except he sucked at it. "Can be quite a powerful wind spell."
"Wha? Twelve hundred? That's whack! Crazy, in a bad way!" I glared, then brightened. "Hey, this is one of those joints you get to... whatstheword, like bargain, right? I'll give you two hundred gil."
Materia-selling-man frowned, realizing I didn't have the money. "No, actually. I sell for twelve hundred, that's it. No deals."
"Yes, you do," I insisted. "I bet you can. It'll be fun. I say like two hundred, like I just did, see, and then you say ten hundred, maybe. Then I raise a bit, you lower a bit, until we meet happily in the middle."
"No." Now he was annoyed.
"Yes! C'mon, business will double, man! People love to bargain. And besides, I'm not leaving without this materia!"
He raised his nose as if he were some badass rich business man who ate truffles all day. "If ya don't have the money, scat, get outta here. I have better things t'do than argue with a little girl."
"Woah, woah, woah! That was so rude! I am not a little girl!" I wasn't mad because he called me that. I was mad because he wouldn't sell me Aero for cheap. Frigid bastard. "D'you want to fight? I, sir, am a mighty ninja of Wutai! How dare you insult me!" Now I was getting worked up, partly out of irritation, partly out of boredom. "Not just me, you insult the honor of Wutai itself! Are you challenging me?"
Beer belly man was most unimpressed. He scoffed. "Wutai. No wonder."
"What, you got a fuckin' problem with that, you ugly butthead?" I raised a fist threateningly and glared.
He gave me one of those little evil smiles, while still scoffing. "You don't honestly think that your being from Wutai is a good thing, do you, brat?"
"What the HELL?! Don't you DARE-"
He turned his nose up at me, giving a bark of a laugh as he continued. "We all know that Wutai is more of a tourist trap than Costa del Sol. Didn't even know they still had ninjas. I s'pose that's part of the show biz, eh? See the ninjas, eat good Wutainese food - all poor Wutai can offer after it got smashed by Shinra."
"You... you...!" I was so mad then, I couldn't even think of a fitting word. He meant to cut deep, yeah, but he had no idea how deep he got. I blinked back sudden hot tears of anger. "I'll show you Wutai's ninjas aren't there for show!" I jumped on the fucking asswipe, striking wildly as he yelled and tried to strike me back.
It was a wild catfight, and I was too pissed to even realize what was going on. I'm sure I got hit a few times (I found out later that I had a black eye) but I also scratched him up good, I knew this because he was screeching like the banshee bitch he was.
"Yuffie? Yuffie!" In the confusion, I vaguely recognized Tifa's voice. "Yuffie, get off of him, stop it!"
I was on top of Materia man, and I think my fingers might have been around his throat, when slender but strong hands grabbed me by the waist and hauled me off. I tried to yank myself out of Tifa's hold, but she snatched a handful of my hair. "Fuck it! Lemme go, Lockheart!" I raged.
Tifa spoke to Materia man who was getting up, glaring daggers at me. "Sorry, sir. I'll just... take her with me now." She grabbed my arm with a steel grip and pulled me across the street and away. "Yuffie Kisaragi! What happened? Why were you attacking that vendor?"
I was so frustrated then that I let the tears fall down my cheeks and clenched my fists, fuming. "The dirty bastard... he said... just let go! Lemme rip out the fucker's throat!"
"Yuffie." She spoke so sternly that I ceased struggling, and her eyes caught mine.
I hesitated, then sniffed and bowed my head. "He insulted Wutai... he said that it only existed for tourists and stuff... that's not true! Wutai's not like that! We're a city of pride! Just because Shinra... dammit! How could he say that?"
Tifa closed her dark eyes, sighing. "Shh, Yuffie, it's okay," she whispered softly as she gingerly brought me forward and held me comfortingly. "Wutai has it's pride. So keep it, Yuffie. Keep your dignity and show the world that your hometown is a place of honor."
I heard her words and forced myself to stop crying as I leaned on her. I wished I could believe it... but it wasn't true. Wutai wasn't a place of honor. Wutai was just a goddam tourist trap, ever since we lost the war with Shinra. The martial artist masters hid in the Pagoda, afraid of doing anything that Shinra might see as terrorism. Tourists came from all over, to eat at our restaurants at take pictures of our mountain. Guardian Leviathan would spit on it. As I did. Damn my father, for raping the place of everything good it stood for money, exploiting everything we should have been proud of... shame to Leviathon, shame to the Kisaragi family. Shame to all Wutainese.
But I would change that, as soon as I got enough materia. I'd be strong enough and I could change it... I would. I'll make everyone respect Wutai, and re-create the wonderful place I'm told it was years ago. The masters didn't do anything, even my father didn't do anything. So the burden was mine. All mine. The sixteen year old daughter of Lord Godo is all that's left to redeem Wutai. Well, fuck you, tourists, 'cause she will.
I finally calmed my sobs and looked up at Tifa. "Uh... um, thanks, Tifa." I had relaxed and really was grateful for her being there, even if she couldn't really know half of what I was facing.
Tifa smiled gently and hugged me tight before releasing me. "That's what I'm here for, Yuffie. I'll walk you back to the inn, alright?"
"Okay. Oh, wait! No, not the inn!" I adored picking fights with Barret, but the actual fighting bit wasn't my thing against the quite strong, tall, muscular and angry black man with a gun. "Hee... I mean... let's go find Aeris, she's down by the beach, right?"
Tifa raised an eyebrow, but chose not to prod. "Alright. Let's do that, then."
As we walked, I realized how insanely hot it was. See, Yuffie does not burn well. She just BURNS. So I reached into my bag, fumbling for an Ice materia that I had stolen from Cloud awhile back. I pulled one out, and saw that it wasn't the materia I was looking for at all. I was about to put it back, but then I paused, a wide grin slowly spreading across my face.
It was none other than that beautiful Aero materia. Must've forgotten to set it down while I was fighting. Heehee. Serves the bastard right.
End Notes - And theeeeeeeeere's my gorgeous interpretation of Yuffie. I never particularly cared for her, so thus, I decided to write a fic in her honor... yeah. A Yuffie fic that wasn't all fluff and cussing, and one that didn't pair her with Vincent, haha... anyhow, 'twas much fun to write, reviews are appreciated and taken into consideration.
And I know Aero is not an obtainable materia in the game (nor an actual spell, come to think of it). And I know some of my other descriptions were not completely accurate, blah blah etc. Yeah yeah yeah. Live with it.
