Disclaimer and note about pockets from Chapter One apply.

Chapter Two- Inquisitorial Squad "Meeting"

"As the Senior Undersecretary of the Minister of Magic, I demand that you stop this degrading nonsense immediately!" Dolores Jane Umbridge screeched.

After being shown videos of students doing things outside of her control, she succumbed to the highly refined torture methods and agreed to turn out her pockets.

-the same exact picture of Ron's Quidditch-playing rear that Malfoy had, once again with "5th year- Weasley can be MY king anytime!" written on it, but in Umbridge's curly script.

Oh silly, why else do you think I let him play Quidditch all year? He's half the reason I let the Gryffindor team continue.

-knitting needles, attached to some kind of awful fluffy pink "thing"

Hem, where do you think I get all my wonderful cardigans?

-a small parchment notepad, with such things as "4 o'clock- don't forget- bring chocolate sauce 2 c Fudge in closet," "potter stinks potter stinks potter stinks," and "pos. edu. Decree- Muggle school food, fire house-elves?" jotted down.

Hem hem, yeah. That chocolate sauce thing was for... ice cream! Yeah, that's it, ice cream. And the Muggle school food idea is because I am a pure sadist.

-speaking of sadist, some sketchy-looking pictures of leather-clad schoolchildren. Very artfully torn and... shredded leather.

Don't tell Cornelius, er, the Minister! Please! He'd be ever so heartbroken.

-a calendar marked by such crypic messages as "Oct 14th- Argus & Cornelius in broom closet" and "20th- inquisitorial squad "meeting." What they'll be inquisitive about, they have yet to learn."

Hem, hem. I do believe that this silly little session is finished. Don't make me make Cornelius, er, the Minister arrest you.


Apparently she's worse than we all thought. If you wanna uncover more skeletons in the characters' closets, review! HI HO SILVER!!! takes off