STILL have writer's block, but maybe if I write a bit, it'll go away...



Sheik eased along the inner stockade wall of Lon Lon, sticking to the shadows and dark nooks, and keeping one eye on the spindly man not ten yards away. Ingo had been the owner/manager of Lon Lon Ranch for going on four years. At first, he'd seemed a bit intimidating, with his wild eyes and unkempt mustache; now, though, Sheik was reminded of the clowns at carnival, especially with the style of clothing Ingo had taken a liking to.

[Pantaloons; and people make fun of MY clothes...He could probably hurt someone with that ruff of his.]

Slowly, and very carefully, Sheik opened the rear door of the main barn, trying not to let it creak on its well-rusted hinges. As soon as it was sufficiently ajar, he slipped inside, softly latching the door behind him. He sighed, allowing himself to relax for a moment, and then he crept over to the big double doors leading into the pastures. The doors, which hadn't been oiled in many moons, didn't appreciate being opened, and protested quite loudly.

[Shhhhh!]
"Who's there? That you, Malon?" A coarse voice rose above the noise those naughty barn doors were making. A voice that was shortly followed by footsteps.

[Loathsome #$%#@ doors!] Casting a quick glance in either direction, Sheik made a dash for the stockade wall and wedged himself between it and the barn. And not a moment too soon; Ingo was around the corner a few seconds later, pitchfork at the ready. Sheik tried to concentrate on being invisible while Ingo prowled around the barn, every so often stopping to inspect some innocent patch of dirt or stray alfalfa.

[Please don't check down here...] Apparently satisfied that there were no vandals or thieves in his precious ruin of a barn, Ingo shuffled off and disappeared around the corner to get back to his urgent and very important...supervising. Yes, he was supervising. Sheik, after a few attempts, managed to get himself un-wedged and sat down on the grass for a minute.

"Whew."[I have got to be more careful...] Seeing Malon in one of the corrals, Sheik hoisted himself up onto his feet and started to work his way over there. The smattering of cows looked up from their grazing a moment to regard the weird-looking guy slinking towards the corrals. But, grazing and cud chewing took precedence over watching freaks, and the cows swiftly lost interest.

Reaching his destination, Sheik hopped up and over the fence before announcing his arrival.

"Nice weather we've been having lately, isn't it?"

Letting out a surprised squawk and jumping nearly a foot into the air, Malon turned, recognized her visitor, and had Sheik crushed in a bear hug in the space of five seconds. Sheik could practically hear his spine cracking. Desperately, he fought to get oxygen into his lungs, all in vain.

"Ruby! Ain't seen you round here for goin' on a fortnight!" Malon didn't have much of a social life anymore, and Sheik was the only person she had to talk to. She liked the animals well enough; they just didn't make for very interesting conversation. On the up side, Ingo stayed away from her far more once she started chatting with the cuccos and having one-sided conversations with the air.

"Malon..." Sheik gasped weakly, "Air...!"
"Oops, beg pardon. Don't know my own strength...teehee."

Sheik eyed her in mock reproach, and dramatically dusted off his outfit.

"And if I've told you once, I've told you at least seven times: my name is not Ruby." One of Malon's foibles was the fact that she invented pet names for almost everyone she met, whether they approved of them or not.

"Yeah, but yer name ain't pretty; Ruby sounds better." It was really a waste of breath to argue with her. She'd go to her grave calling him by a girl's name. "What's the occasion, that you would grace me with yer presence, or did y'all just miss the melodious sound of my voice?" She teased, purposely making the twang in her voice more pronounced.

Sheik suddenly felt a bit guilty that he couldn't stay longer. "I'm gonna sound like a freeloader, but I...sorta missed breakfast today..." He trailed off lamely.

Malon stared at him blankly, until it clicked. "Oh! Well why didn't ya just say somethin!" And with that, she sauntered off to the ranch-house. Five or so minutes later, she re-emerged, a chunk of what appeared to be bread in one hand, and a glass bottle in the other.

"Here," she said, unceremoniously handing the aliment to Sheik, who subsequently stashed it away in...that convenient blank space void thing that travelers keep their stuff in.

"Much obliged."
"And will you be paying now, or would you like to make installments? It's a joke, Ruby, you're supposed to laugh now." Sheik started to apologize for being a burden, but Malon cut him off. "Now, don't start with that, you'd do the same for me. It's just some old bread and a dribble of milk anyhow."

"I'm at least bringing the bottle back."
"No, yer keepin it."
"Glass is expensive!"
"And it ain't like we don't got plenty. Never know when you might need it."
"Wooing me with gifts won't work. You should know by now I'm not that kind of guy..."

Malon almost smacked him for that one. When she saw him flinch she just burst out laughing, or rather giggling. Sheik took a look at the sun, not directly at it, mind, that's bad for your eyes.

"Listen, I'm sorry to take your stuff and run, but I've got to make the Lost Woods before nightfall."

Malon took on a conspiratorial expression. "Oooh, on business, are we? Do tell."

"Sorry, but it's highly classified. Wouldn't want me to get my tongue cut out, would you? Wait, don't answer that." He started for the eastern stockade. Malon had to jog to keep up with him.

"Then I guess you'd better get goin'. Get back to yer assassination or military coup d'etat or whatever it's called." She watched as Sheik scaled the outer wall, balancing on the top planks when he reached them.

"If the secret police show up, we never met, okay?"
"Oh, I'm sorry; if they catch me, I'm gonna snitch. Sing like a canary!"
"If only you could."

*SHOVE!*

And so ended the balancing act, and Malon got to see Sheik land in a heap on the ground outside.

"...Oooog. I'm okay..."
"Then you'd best be off. Yer burnin daylight!" After making a most unladylike noise in her throat that was somewhere between a giggle and a snort, Malon disappeared from view behind the stockade to get back to her chores. Sheik tried to stand up as painlessly as possible, quite a task considering the fall he'd just had. Spotting a suitably shady tree, he limped over and flopped down under it to choke down his meal. Lon Lon wasn't famous for it's bread, and with good reason. He was hungry enough, however, to make short work of it despite its somewhat staleness.

[Wasted too much time, don't know if I'll make it...]

Taking one more glance at the sun to gauge the time, he set off in the direction of the southeastern forests.





I really didn't mean for there to be so much syrupy, platonic banter, but there was...Malon sounds weird; maybe I just can't write her. She always struck me as a bit of a smartarse. This fic's going to take a looong time and a lot of chapters, especially at the rate I'm going. *watches as snail types faster than her* But it's worth it, right? *crickets*