"Gavin!" Zim threw open the door to the bedroom where his smeet had already crawled into bed and was waiting for him. Zim looked down at him. "Oh, Zim was expecting that you would still be up playing games with Vero." His crimson eyes scanned the room. "Where is Vero?" He thought for sure the eldest smeet would be dodging his training in here.

"Under the bed." Gavin pointed to a pair of feet that were sticking out from underneath the car-shaped bed. Zim had seen them upon entering, however, he thought maybe they were a part of the 'Earth-car' aesthetic.

"Traitor." The bed grumbled.

"Get out from under there Vero, you don't even fit." Zim unfolded one of the legs from his PAK and poked one of the feet.

"No. Never. I'll die down here."

"Why? Are you stuck?"

"..." there was a brief pause. "A little."

"I told him not to crawl down there." Gavin explained. "But he did it anyway, now I can use him for a ramp for my Invader ship." To demonstrate, Gavin took the remote control from his desk and began to play with it. A small replica of an Invader's ship began to hover off the floor. It moved over Vero's leg to his boot and few upward getting some rather impressive height.

"Impressive." Zim nodded to Gavin.

"Thank you." Gavin replied sounding pleased.

"I also helped." Vero reminded them.

"You did." Zim had to give him that much. "But you missed training with Voel yesterday because of Zim's amazing story telling and the less amazing story skills of everyone else. So, I don't think he's going to let you get away with it again."

"He can't make me if I'm stuck." Vero countered.

"You're not that stuck. I saw you leave to get your spare bag of chips." Gavin was back to playing with his toy ship. This was the opposite of getting him ready for bed. If anything, Vero was more ready than Gavin. Maybe Zim should just put Vero to bed...

No...

That probably wasn't going to work. Gavin was still too small for most of the hand-to-hand combat weapons, and he didn't have a PAK to steady him against the recoil of the firing weapons. Plus, Zim had promised Tenn that she could teach him to fire his first gun.

"CB, can you get your brother out from under the bed?" Zim put his hands on his waist, tapping his foot on the floor. The light in the ceiling flickered and a hologram of CB appeared, kneeling to look under the bed.

"Haha, you look ridiculous down there."

"Laugh all you want, it's comfy." Vero didn't seem too concerned. "Also, Gavin, there are definitely no monsters under your bed."

"Why would there be?" Gavin peered over the edge down at his brother. "My dads would absolutely destroy any monsters."

"This is true." Zim nodded knowingly. "But right now, there is also no more room for monsters because Vero is way too big."

"Maybe the monsters were inside us all along?"

"I don't think that's a lesson, you, if anyone, should be teaching." Skoodge had walked in with a plate of snacks. Zim would honestly have expected Vero to have been the one to show up with food, but Vero belonged to the bed now.

"I want to be under the bed too, it looks fun."

"I mean you can join me, you're a hologram." Vero wiggled an arm out from under the bed to give CB a thumbs up and wave to Skoodge.

"Are you here to get Vero un-stuck?" Zim questioned. It was funny that Skoodge would know about it since Zim hadn't told anyone. But maybe Skoodge had sensed the trouble with his parental instinct and had come to solve the issue.

"I don't think he's stuck." Skoodge surveyed the situation with mild interest. "I just came for the story. Guess I'm early."

"Story?" Zim blinked.

"The other part of my bed-time story?" Gavin gestured for Zim to join him on the bed. CB had crawled under to join Vero. "You're supposed to get Uncle Dib to tell you what really-really happened at the first Mothra Festival."

"Oh right, because Dib was grouchy and hung up on me for some reason." Zim made a face recalling Dib's bad attitude from the night before.

"I think it's because you woke him up." Skoodge replied.

"That's his fault for sleeping at a time when I wanted to talk." It was a matter of simple logic, and Zim was a bit surprised at having to explain it. Especially to Skoodge- Skoodge was supposed to be the smartest one- after Zim of course.

"I suppose that's true." Skoodge mused. "Theron and Tenn want us to do a group call. They want to hear the Syndicate's side of the story too. And don't start without Voel either. He was just getting the rest of the snacks."

"Snacks?" Vero's voice came from under the bed.

"Yep." Skoodge put one of the snacks from his plate in his mouth and continued talking. "We are getting the good snacks too. The whole family's coming. Ven's actually pretty upset that he missed out on the first two retellings. I don't think Ara's that invested, but she may stop by for the food, and Xia's sulking in her room."

"Can you leave snacks by the bed? I want them and I'm stuck." Vero's hand waved to try and get Skoodge's attention.

"Well... that' a damn shame that you're stuck. These are great snacks." Skoodge took another big bite. "More food for us."

"Aw man did we get started?" Ven came running in with a huge bucket of various chips he had mixed together. "I was making ultra-chips..."

"They didn't start, he hasn't even called your Uncle Dib yet." Voel assured him as he followed in behind with a plate of rather delicious smelling, sizzling meats. "If this story takes half as long as ours did yesterday, I figured we would want something with protein in it."

"Ohhh that smells like Thaquiribeast..." Vero clearly was better at recognizing the smells of various foods than he was at escaping very easily escapable situations. Zim would give him some credit for his sense of smell but seeing as how he was bested by a stationary bed; it wasn't going to be much. (After all, the bed appeared like a motorized vehicle from Earth, but it did not actually move. Dib had made sure of the fact before letting Dib's parents gift the bed to Gavin.)

"Vero why are you under Gavin's bed?" Voel took notice of Vero's plight.

"I'm stuck."

"No, you're not, there's still like an inch of room for you to get out. Even if there wasn't you could collapse your ribcage and wiggle free." Voel countered.

"Nope. I'm stuck."

"Fine," Skoodge interrupted, "that just means more food for everyone else." It was true, Vero did eat like a black hole. Skoodge took a piece of meat from the plate and began to eat. "Wow, Voel was this made by chef Dan?"

"Employee of the month chef Dan?" Vero's curiosity had clearly been piqued.

"He's not employee of the month anymore, you know." Zim felt the need to remind everyone. "Not because he doesn't deserve it, because he is a very good cook, but because we did away with the program since we don't have a password system anymore."

"That was courtesy of my reign as Tallest, you're welcome." Vero gave a thumbs up. "As tribute, you may hand me some of the food."

"Nope." Skoodge smirked. "un-stuck Irkens only."

"And me too, right?" Gavin reached for the plate. Skoodge lowered it so he could get his hand on a big piece.

"You are Irken, Gavin, where it matters, in your spooch." Zim assured him. "So, you may eat your brother's share since he's a bed now."

"Maybe not all of that? Vero can eat Gavin's weight in food." Skoodge reminded him. "And you shouldn't eat too much before you rest. But you can have some as there is no telling how long we'll be up if last night is any indication."

"I felt like that went on forever." Voel seconded.

"That's only because Therron kept interrupting me." Skoodge countered.

"I wouldn't know, I wasn't invited." Ven huffed a bit.

"It wasn't a party, and you were studying." Voel reminded him, "because at least one of my smeets actually does their schoolwork on time."

"I've been out of school for a while, old man. Get with the times." Vero had escaped the comfortable prison of Gavin's racecar bed and had begun shoveling the entire plate of food into his mouth. Voel snatched it back.

"I see you're un-stuck."

"Fhghghfb." Vero replied. Zim didn't think that was a word, but he nodded knowingly because he didn't want to be the only one out of the loop. After all, there was no telling how long Vero had been trapped. Maybe he was speaking 'bed', a language he had picked up with his superior Invader skills he inherited from Zim's amazing DNA.

"So, are we calling Dib now?" Zim was ready. He liked calling Dib.

"Maybe he is busy."

"Nonsense, CB, Dib always has time for Zim. I was the ultra-superior-man at his wedding, which you should remember as you were there."

"He hung up on you yesterday."

"No, he didn't. I was already ending the call. He needed proper time to prepare his tale. He must regale Zim with the overwhelming feelings of wonderment and awe he experienced at our festival. It takes time to put such feelings into words."

"Sounds reasonable." Skoodge nodded. "Don't forget to add Theron and Tenn to the call. They wanted to hear the end of this too."

"Of course, of course." Zim set his communicator down and dialed Therron and Tenn before he finally dialed Dib. It rang a few times before Dib answered. The screen illuminated with not just his large headed human friend, but Lor, Carrius, the Membrane parents, and the High Council Chairman and her wife all sitting around a table.

"Zim?" Dib blinked. "Are you seriously calling back about that story thing? Really man?" Dib seemed surprised by Zim's call despite the fact that Zim had given him clear instructions the night before to prepare for this.

"I see you brought alternate sources. Good idea. Clearly Zim's intellect has rubbed off on you." Zim nodded to the Chairman and her family as well as to the Membranes- who really needed a contract with Irk to provide some military weapons.

"Good evening Tallest Zim." The Chairman bowed her head politely.

"Hello Chairman!" Zim waved cheerfully back. "We are discussing the wonderous event of the Mothra Festival."

"The one last year?" The general looked surprised. "Yeah, we had a great time."

"No no no no no no. Not that one." Zim couldn't believe Dib hadn't explained everything already. He was doing a very poor job of preparing for his presentation today. "But yes, it was truly amazing, your compliments are welcome."

"Then which one are we talking about? We've been to all of them..." Lor looked a little puzzled by the correction.

"The first one." Zim awaited in anticipation for the continued waves of praise to wash over him. However, he was only met by uncertain silence before the Chairman finally spoke, looking equally confused.

"I thought it was nice. Up until the Membranes and my wife blew up that building- which we are still very sorry about- but I understand that it was an approved demolition."

"It was." Skoodge assured her quickly.

"Still," the Chairman gave a heavy sigh, "that is not the way we like to go about demolishing buildings in the Syndicate. We didn't even submit the proper demolition request forms or submit a demolition request to the zoning board."

"No, we basically just went with a verbal contract," Diego Senior looked reminiscent for a moment, "I mean, we've exploded more with less permission."

"Legally speaking I can't confirm or deny that." Moira took a sip of her drink as if to stop herself from elaborating (though Zim very much wished she would). "But really it was a lovely time overall, I like exploding buildings, so it wasn't any trouble."

"Please don't say stuff like that in front of my in-laws..." Dib rubbed the bridge of his nose looking rather tired.

"It's fine son, you're already married!" his father laughed. "They knew what they were getting into when they let us join the Syndicate."

"I will admit you are definitely more... inventive than, perhaps, we initially expected. But we are pleased to have you in our ranks." The Chairman replied with a slight hesitation. "And your son makes our son happy and that is all that matters."

"And if it's any consolation, I love your willingness to just explode a building." The General replied with a grin. The Chairman let out a long sigh.

"I don't know if I find solace in that, my love, I will be perfectly honest."

"You had a nice time at the festival though, correct?" Zim felt like this was getting off topic and, unless someone was about to invite HIM to blow up a building, he didn't really see the point in continuing the conversation. Afterall, Gavin had to get to bed, and Zim needed to prove himself right before his smeet was too tired.

"Oh yes!" The chairman actually sounded quite pleased. "It was really a lovely vacation. I just wanted to spend time with my family, so I'm a bit disappointed everyone kept running off, but it was still, overall, a lovely experience."

"Case settled." Zim clapped his hands together. "I am Tallest, she is the High Council Chairman, we are the two highest ranking individuals here and we all said it was a success so no other opinions matter." Zim always knew he liked the chairman for some reason. Clearly, she was an intelligent woman who appreciated the finer things. He could respect that. Plus, she was now sort of related to Dib because of Lor, and that meant she was also now sort-of important to Zim. Not just as a diplomat, but on a personal level.

"So how did I end up with the Membranes?" Gavin took some of the chips from Ven's bowl as Ven had taken a seat next to him on the bed.

"I feel like that is not really important."

"He wants to KNOW, CB." Zim understood that the point had already been made, but Gavin still needed a story and now Ven wanted one too. He felt bad that Ven had missed yesterday's story, so he needed to make it up to him.

"Ugh that was... quite the festival..." Dib sighed. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I am happy we went and everything but..."

"Perfect!" Zim clapped his hands together. "Then Dib volunteers himself to start!"


"Lor, you know after this, we really could just take a small vacation- just the two of us?" Dib had been researching and researching all the planets that would make the perfect backdrop for a proposal. Dib had planned a lot of things in his life: alien watching parties, plots to stop Zim from taking over, movie nights- but most of them either ended in disaster- or required very little forethought. This NEEDED to be special.

"I mean, we do have that extra time off." Lor replied agreeably. "It's been forever since I've had an actual vacation that didn't involve being stranded or heading to war."

"Yeah, this is nice." Dib agreed. "It's almost scarily normal."

"Aww, I think it's nice too~" something slithered over Dib's foot, and he shivered, jumping back just in time to see a white tail. There was the sound of bones cracking as Q rebuilt himself from the small form of a snake to the normal sized 'natural' form of the Parasite. He tried to lean on Dib's shoulders, but the clone was far too quick and managed to duck out of the way. "How is my favorite fleshy snack doing today? Nervous? ~"

"Shut the fuck up Q." Dib still didn't like him. No amount of Irk-saving heroism could make up for the fact that Q was a little shit who seemed to have a personal joy for making Dib miserable that stretched beyond the normal need for sustenance.

"Don't flatter yourself, it's really not personal." Q laid back in the air as if he were relaxing on a particularly comfy couch. "You're just dramatic."

"I'm not dramatic." Dib glowered at him.

"I think it's nice you're putting so much into this vacation." Lor assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder, comfortingly. "It makes me feel special."

"You shouldn't humor him; it's just enabling at this point." Q crossed his arms, narrowing his seven eyes at Lor.

"If you don't like it then leave. There are way more people on this ship for you to bother than just us." Lor replied with a causal shrug.

"I'll be around~" He flipped up and latched onto a nearby wall, shrinking just enough so that he could slide through the air vent overhead.

"I don't like that he's using those to get around, they're hard enough to clean as it is, and D3R1K gets really mad at the residue he leaves behind." Lor leaned into Dib, looking up at him. "But at this point you gotta pick your battles I guess."

"I'm just glad he's gone." Dib hoped that wherever they ended up for the after-part of their vacation, Q wouldn't be lulling about in the air vents waiting to fuck things up for him. It wasn't too much to ask for just this one moment to go well- and the rest of the festival too, obviously. But Dib knew Zim had things handled. He'd been assured of that multiple times. And this would be a great way to impress his (hopefully) future in-laws!

CRASH!

"Oh, sorry about that~" his father's voice could be heard from several rooms away as the ship activated its fire-safety protocol for the umpteenth time on this trip. Dib only hoped that spending all this time with his parents wouldn't drive the High Council Chairman away. He wished that Gaz could have come as some sort of buffer- but she had a stupid conference to attend. He was glad her gaming company was gaining recognition in the Syndicate, but SOMEONE needed to keep their parents under control and for some reason Dib was incapable.

"I should make sure they're not hurt." Lor got to his feet.

"They're probably fine. Mom has some sort of quick-healing nanotechnology she likes to use when it's convenient to her." Dib was mostly concerned about the ship being damaged. However, the Syndicate ships did seem to be made of rather sturdy material.

"Still..." Lor walked out into the hall, smoke was wafting through only to be immediately dispersed by fans that seemed to appear from the wall itself. Dib was immediately concerned to see the High Council Chairman, the General, Captain Rose, and Carrius had already lined up in the hall outside. His stepmother was politely explaining the situation, soot and ash smeared over one side of her face and dirtying her lab coat. "Doctor Membrane, are you and your husband all right? Are there any injuries to report?" Lor had his electronic notepad out (as did most of the Syndicate, Dib realized seeing the Chairman typing away on a holographic screen.)

"Sorry everyone." Moira laughed a bit, rubbing the back of her head. "So very sorry, there was a bit of a backfire with the new invention, but no one's hurt."

"Sometimes things get a little too exciting. But we have made GREAT progress!" His father stepped out of the room as the smoke started to dissipate. His sleeve was on fire, but it was quickly extinguished by a spray of extinguishing foam that, again, seemed to originate from the wall somewhere. (At least the Syndicate had good fire safety.)

"Please be more careful." Dib knew his family was unstable, but he was hoping the High Council Chairman would think they were at least an charming amount of insane until Dib had a more secure future with the Syndicate.

"Whatchya working on?" The General looked genuinely curious.

"The Robra!" Dib's father announced proudly.

"The name is still being workshopped." Moira added.

"Nonsense, wife! It is the most logical name there is!"

"Is it like a robot that is also a cobra?" Gary poked his head out of one of the rooms. Dib didn't have too much of an opinion on Gary, other than a bit of jealousy that he was the one to live on Capital Planet first while Dib was forced to graduate college on Earth.

"Yes. It is." Professor Membrane turned to look back at Moira. "See?"

"Sounds like an off-brand vacuum cleaner to me." Captain Rose shrugged.

"See?" Moira parroted her husband's words back to him, tilting her head in the direction of the Captain. There was a long pause as the two locked eyes. It was only interrupted by the sound of soft jazz playing in the room behind them. General Andromeda's face lit up.

"Oh, you're working on jazz-snake!"

"It's not supposed to play jazz." The professor sighed heavily, lifting up his goggles and wiping the ash from his face.

"We'll fix it." Moira assured him.

"How in the HELL did trying to change the music played by your snake result in an explosion?" Dib was a bit flabbergasted.

"Science son." His father put a heavy mechanical arm on his shoulder, giving him a solid pat. "Science."

"That's not an answer-" Dib began to protest but he was cut off by ANN, the AI of the Flare.

"Approaching our destination. Prepare for landing." It was a little weird to NOT hear CB's voice coming out of a vehicle. However, Dib had talked to ANN, and she insisted she had no idea who that was outside of 'some friend of LEO's'. Dib missed the Nova, but it was a warship, technically, and the Chairman felt it was in poor taste to take it to a peaceful event.

"It will be nice to have a peaceful visit." Captain Rose started to walk back toward the bridge. Luckily, the ship was good at self-piloting allowing her to tend to random explosions. "I've never really been to Irk outside if that whole evil-AI thing. I hear it's actually nice."

"I am gonna miss being shot at, if I'm being perfectly honest." Carrius was on the bridge sitting in the Captain's chair. She cleared her throat, and he jumped back to his feet.

"I didn't like the 'being shot at' part." Lor made a face. "I don't know how you work security. It was awful but the Irkens just kept insisting I come along for some reason."

"Because you're litterally a living shield. All the Irkens had to do was stand behind you." To demonstrate, Carrius snuck up behind his brother, lifting him up and holding him in front of himself. "Shoot the medic! Not me!"

"Ah!" Lor failed for a moment before resigning himself to his fate and allowing Carrius to move him around. "Point taken."

"I mean, it's a solid strategy." Carrius turned to Captain Rose, still holding Lor. "Hey Cap, what I'd we-"

"No." She didn't let him finish.

"But it's like a shield that can heal you if it fails."

"No."

"Also, the Irken's were pretty effective even against me. I got impaled." Lor reminded them as Carrius finally let go. Lor floated back to the ground, landing gently.

"Oh yeah, you joined our 'been impaled' club. I'm proud of you." He patted Lor on the shoulder. Dib smirked.

"So much for 'slightly stabbed'," he teased recalling how much the medic had downplayed the injury at the time. Overall, that had been a truly terrifying day for Dib, however, it was still a good memory. Fighting alongside his friends and family was like a dream come true.

"How about no one gets stabbed today, slightly or otherwise." The Captain suggested from her chair. "We are here not just as visitors, but as emissaries from the Syndicate invited by the Almighty Tallest, himself. I expect nothing but the best behavior from all of you. We need to look good, not just in front of the Tallest, but also the Chairman." She took a deep breath; Dib had never really seen her looking nervous before.

"Don't worry, mom is pretty easy to please-" Carrius began but he was cut off by the Captain as she got quickly to her feet.

"She may be your mother, but first and foremost she is MY boss."

"Technically your direct boss would be our..." Carrius started to correct the Captain, however, as he kept speaking, he noticed the dark look he was getting "other... mom... you know what? Point taken." He gave a quick salute. "Best behavior mode engaged."

"You have a good behavior mode?" Lor poked his brother in the back of his head. "Where was that when we were growing up?"

"Shut up, I'll fight you."

"So much for good behavior." Captain Rose heaved a heavy sigh. "Cadet, I know it's a lot of ask, but if you could... keep an eye on the Chairman, make sure that she's happy. You know the most about the Irkens, the Tallest clearly favors you. Just... keep an eye on things."

"Yes, my Captain!" Dib had finally perfected the salute.

It was flattering to be given such a task by the Captain herself. It was something Dib had already been planning on doing, as he was hoping to use his knowledge of Irk to impress the Chairman and her wife. He knew Zim wouldn't mind helping him to look extra good in front of his new bosses. It was also a bit vindicating to see the Captain getting nervous around the Chairman. Lor and Carrius were completely at ease around the higher ups- but they had the distinct advantage of being their sons. And Captain Rose always seemed so well put together that seeing her get nervous made Dib feel better about his own stomach-churning anxiety.

"Why are you asking him? And not the ACTUAL Irken?" Tak had finally come to the bridge, checklist in hand for the docking protocol.

"Tak, I want the same from you. You just weren't on the bridge yet." The Captain assured her. "Also, and I mean this with the utmost love and respect in my heart but: I don't think the Tallest likes you very much."

"Yeah, he's an idiot and is only Tallest because of nepotism." Tak scoffed


"Excuse me!?" Zim cut Dib off looking truly offended. "Nepotism!? I am Tallest because I am amazing, wonderful, and the clearest choice for the job!"

"But CB is your son." Therron remarked in a way that suggested Therron very much wanted to be hung up on. "And he's the one who coded you for Tallest."

"CB using his power and influence as a Control Brain to give me, his father, a job isn't nepotism." Zim replied insistently.

"That's pretty much the literal definition of it." Therron definitely wanted to be hung up on. He had made that very clear.

"I mean Sym had to agree to it though, and she's not related to Zim." Skoodge pointed out. "Same with II, she had no relationship with Zim wither, and she approved the change."

"Sym is bonded to the law." Therron retorted. "She'd make a gnider Tallest if it was in the Irken Legal system. As for II, I think she just went along with it because she was afraid CB was going to eat her or something."

"Please do not call it that."

"I do not fear CB. Quite the contrary, I think of us as friends." II commented from the intercom. The new Control Brains were more interactive than their predecessors, according to II. It mentioned enjoying the free reign of the ship, Irk, and other places. It seemed II had grown bored of the monotony if the judgment hall in the same way its peers had grown tired of their respective, subservient positions. However, II didn't support IX's plan to solve the problem.

"Aw, you think we are friends?"

"Affirmative."

"Papa, look I have friends aside from Dib."

"Very good CB." Zim commended him. "It's important to get along with your fellow Control Brains. Just don't get along well enough to form an evil alliance."

"My loyalty is only to you."

"That sounds like a vast overstatement, you're really not what one would call... loyal. You're difficult at best." Voel commented

"So, what happened next?" Ven looked confused, having missed the previous night's adventures, he was unaware that the constant interruptions were a part of the experience.


After they had landed and caught back up with Zim, Dib found himself waiting outside of Irken customs for the rest of the Syndicate. It was not nearly as intricate of a process as the customs was for Capital Planet. Dib loved his status as a Ranger as it allowed him to bypass most of that headache. It didn't work as well on Irk; however, it seemed as if Zim had given him a sort of special pass. His parents and Gary were also hanging out around the exit, as the Irkens had just sort of shunted them through, not feeling as if the humans were enough of a threat for a full screening.

"Mom leave the staff alone." Dib looked over to see his mom had- once again- pulled an Irken from their post to ask them several questions that Dib was certain would make the alien quite uncomfortable in regard to its safety.

"I was only trying to find out how their collapsible ribcage works." She looked a tad offended. "And your dad was asking about PAKs."

"It's true, I think they're neat." His father confirmed.

"Listen, I've come to terms with the fact that you might both be evil, however, can you act like normal functioning members of society in front of the Irkens and the High Council?" Dib pleaded. "This event is really important to Syndicate/Irken relations, and I don't want either of you to be the start of a war."

"Wouldn't be the first time." Moira chuckled as she and Dib's father exchanged some sort of knowing glance as Dib put his face in his hands.

"See this? This sort of thing right here is why I think you might be villains."

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Gary offered, in an attempt to ease Dib's worries. "The Syndicate are really a very understanding group. Any mishaps aren't going to start a war."

"We don't know that." Dib replied flatly. "If there is a way it COULD happen, it will find a way to happen to me. The universe is a cruel mistress sometimes and I am its victim." He was finally happy, with a future, and he was going to do everything in his power to keep that from falling apart.

"It is taking them a while to get through security..." Gary noted, seemingly more in an attempt to make small talk than out of any genuine worry. "I hope Allie isn't giving them too much trouble. She had difficulty at the airport when we took our first trip together on Earth."

"That's... surprising actually." Dib perked up a bit. "Isn't the airport a lot like the Syndicate with all the rules and regulations?"

"Yeah, she kept insisting on doing everything exactly by the book. We were at security for hours so that she could personally measure out things to show security she had followed the rules exactly. Everyone was convinced she was some kind of secret agent hired to make sure they were doing their jobs properly."

"Okay now THAT I believe." Dib smirked a bit at the image of the Captain in her human form painstakingly pouring out her liquids to show she had the exact right amount. He paused for a moment, looking back at Gary. "Hey when you asked the Captain to marry you-" he didn't get a chance to finish as he felt icy hands on his shoulders and the weight of someone leaning over behind him.

"Miss me?" The synthetic voice of Q's translator was far too close to Dib's ear as he let out an involuntary shiver and jumped back just in time to see Q grinning at him.

"I absolutely did not."

"Don't lie."

"How did you get through security and not the Syndicate?" Dib ignored his comment as he craned his neck to peer behind the Parasite in search of the rest of his friends.

"I wouldn't call them 'friends' Allison sees you as an acquaintance at best." Q smirked.

"Get out of my head." Dib ignored him, still searching for the rest of the landing party.

"Oh, you won't find them just yet." Q looked entirely too gleeful.

"Why not?" His eyes narrowed.

"Complications~" Somehow, even though the voice was coming from a translator, Q still managed to sound obnoxiously sing-song in his response.

"I'm going to go check on everything." Dib knew he had a bit more sway with the Irkens given his standing with Zim, but he hadn't been expecting to test the extent of that influence so early in his visit. He pushed his way back through the security line, the Irkens that had initially let him through gave him puzzled looks but let him back by. As he drew close, the first thing that he noticed was the sound of Tak yelling at her fellow Irkens.

"Why are you being thorough with ME!? I'M Irken!"

"Yes," the Irken that was scanning her replied sounding tired. "But you are a member of the Nova crew, the very same Syndicate assassins that murdered Red and Purple in cold blood, and kidnapped Almighty Tallest V."

"I'm going to need a moment to unpack your argument and tear it apart with the ferocity it deserves." Tak took a deep breath." First of all- there are no such things as Syndicate assassins, that was a lie created by the Control Brains to incite anger in the Irkens. Second: The Nova are a generic military squadron. They are not special ops, and they have not ever participated in political sabotage. I would know because the paperwork would be legendary. Third: I was not ON the Nova when all of these incidents took place. So WHY would I be lumped in with them anyway!? AND- Cadet Membrane IS an actual employee of the Nova and WAS on the very mission where Red and Purple were murdered, and you let HIM through JUST. FINE. AND ALSO:" she took a deep breath. "Red and Purple aren't even dead! They're HOSTING part of the festival!"

"It is a blessing of Mothra that the dead are able to still have viable career options." The guard replied wiggling her antennae in respect to the fallen Irken leaders who were probably wandering around elsewhere at the festival.

"I swear to Mothra, I'm about to lose it." Tak took a deep breath.

"Hey sorry," Dib interrupted what looked as if it was about to be a murder as the fire in Tak's eyes was something Dib had only ever seen directed at Zim. "I was just wondering what was taking so long with my crew, Tallest Zim is waiting for them."

"Is he?" The Irken perked up.

"Yeah." Was it a lie? Kind of. However, much to his surprise, more credence was given to his words than he was expecting.

"Affirmative. It is rather urgent." The same security bot CB had used to greet Dib lit up again with that familiar blue light.

"Oh! Control Brain!" The Irken gave a sudden squeak. "My sincerest apologies." She quickly ushered Tak through. "I will get the others! One moment please!" She rushed off further into the customs line to retrieve the others.

"Thank you, CB." Dib looked over at the robot.

"About fucking time if you ask me! Where have you been? Have you not heard me arguing for the past 30 minutes?" Tak demanded.

"Negative. I am not personally invested in you or your actions. Dib is my best friend and therefore he gets top priority."

"You're not a very good Control Brain if you have favorites." Tak snapped back.

"You do not mean that. You are acting out of anger because you are not one of said favorites. Fortunately, I am too advanced to hold a grudge."

"Bro really?" Dib snorted. "Don't lie CB."

"I would never lie. Also, you are welcome for bailing out your entire crew like the wonderful, amazing, AI best friend that I am."

"Thank you for that. I just... want this to go well, ya know? I need to impress the High Council Chairman; well... because she's my boss... and... Lor's mom."

"What does her being the medic's mother have to do with anything?" Tak lifted one of her antennae, giving Dib a strange look. "That's completely irrelevant information. She has a cousin that works in the same science lab your parents are working in- is that important too?"

"Does she?" Dib actually didn't know if this was true or if Tak was just fucking with him because CB had put her in a bad mood.

"Research indicates yes, she does in fact have a cousin in that lab."

"Huh, the more you know." Dib was a little surprised that Tak knew that, but he didn't have time to dwell on it because at that point the rest of the Syndicate finally arrived to greet him, led by the very same security officer that CB had sent.

"Oh, thank Rao we're finally done." Lor practically fell into Dib's arms looking tired already. "There was so much questioning. The Irkens kept expecting me to know stuff about Krypton." He looked up at Dib who leaned in, giving him an apologetic kiss.

"Sorry I didn't rescue you sooner."

"Good to know the Irkens still think I'm a killer." The Captain let out a heavy sigh. She, too, looked exhausted.

"A political assassin, if we're being specific." Carrius replied. The Captain whirled around, giving him an annoyed look. "I'm not saying you DID it, I just thought you'd want the whole title because, in my defense, it sounds way cooler."

"Can we just go?" Captain Rose covered her face briefly with her hands.

"Calm down, Captain." The High Council Chairman spoke up, looking far less annoyed than Dib would have expected. In fact, she didn't look bothered at all by the hold up. "The Irkens were only doing their job. There is no reason to stress. We're all here, we're fine, and I'm certain the Control Brain can fix any further confusion."

"Yeah. Sure."

"Why don't you take some time and enjoy the sights of Irk with your beloved Gary?" The Chairman offered. "I know I have been looking forward to spending time with my family. It has been a very long time since we were able to enjoy a full family trip. Not since my boys joined the military." With a dramatic, sweeping gesture she wrapped one arm around Carrius and the other around Lor. (The Chairman was quite tall and ended up being easily a head taller than even Dib, meaning she was easy to see in the sea of Irkens). Both Lor and Carrius let out small sounds of complaint as they were pulled into this impromptu hug.

"Moooooom." Carrius tried to push away. "I was going to see what Tenn was up to. She said I could help with the games."

"Nonsense Carrius, you can stay long enough for us to at least have a nice meal together here on Irk." The Chairman pulled them in tighter and Dib stifled a laugh.

"I was kind of hoping to spend some time with Dib if I'm being honest..." Lor slid his hand into Dib's as he looked back to his moms.

"He can come too." Tiriana replied decisively. "Membranes, will you be joining us in partaking in Irken cuisine?"

"That sounds fun." Moira replied cheerfully. Dib wasn't sure whether to be glad they were coming so he could keep an eye on his parents, or worried that they were going to do something so, unbelievably strange that he would lose any good standings with the Briars.

"I am out of here." Q made a face. "I have Irkens that need to adore me and as appealing as watching this lunch sounds, there are more pressing tasks on my agenda."

"I feel the need to remind you to be on your best behavior." Captain Rose gave Q a stern look. "If you do something to get the Irkens upset, the Syndicate are not required to bail you out."

"It's not ME you need to worry about." Q used a few of the scarves to gesture dramatically to himself as if the Captain's comment had somehow offended him.

"You are the only Parasite here. M has been serving her community service off world as she makes the Irkens uncomfortable with how horrifying she is."

"You sure about that, bot?" Q's eyes narrowed as the scarves encircled the little security Droid from which CB had been speaking.

"... Affirmative."

"I like that you can lie. You're a lot more fun that way." Q didn't seem mad at CB's response, but it was clear he didn't believe him. Dib didn't believe CB either, and he didn't love the idea that Q was right about ANYTHING, nevertheless, right about a monster like M. Dib had never really met her outside of brief interactions when she was serving her community service. However, from Zim's descriptions she was like an even worse Q, and that was enough for Dib to decide that he NEVER wanted to interact with her.

"It is not a lie. Things are under control."

Q looked the robot up and down. "Oh. It's worse than I thought." He smirked a bit before turning to go, weirdly back in the direction of the ship. "Have fun."

"I am going to find one if our Irken friends and see how things are going with them." Captain Rose changed the subject from Q and his cryptic messages, back to this supposed 'relaxing' visit to Irk. "Engineer, a word?"

"Oh! Yes." Dib realized she meant him. He separated briefly from the Chairman and her family who she seemed to be forcibly dragging along with her. Captain Rose pulled him to the side, taking a deep breath.

"Please, make sure the Chairman is happy." She looked surprisingly nervous. "We are taking a HUGE risk by having her come to a planet that wanted us dead like a year ago. This needs to go well. I do NOT want to do the paperwork involved if this goes awry."

"Of course. I'm sure Zim has things under control." Dib tried his best to be reassuring but the Captain was giving him a rather unconvinced look.

"Really?"

"I mean... I'm mostly sure."

"Right." She still seemed skeptical, but she gave him a nod. "I am going to find Zim; or Skoodge, Voel, or Tenn; or if that fails Vero: and if and only if THAT fails: Therron. I will see if I can't get this whole 'murderer' thing sorted out. Unless..." she looked at the security robot that had slowly started drifting closer as they talked, "YOU can do something about all of this?"

"It is on the schedule, however, currently there are some more pressing matters at hand that directly affect the festival."

"Of course, there are." The Captain sighed. "Right, then good luck Membrane. And please, PLEASE try to keep your parents in check."

"Yes, my Captain." Dib saluted quickly.

"Come on Gary, let's go explore! Thanks for the advice, Diego! You really do know your stuff when it comes to Irk!" The Captain remarked loudly as she pulled Gary away by the arm. Dib appreciated that she had turned to him for such an important mission as leading the freely elected leader of the Syndicate through Irk and keeping her happy. However, with Q's ominous little comments combined with CB's purposeful vagueness left Dib feeling concerned more than anything else. He looked at the security robot.

"Is everything okay, CB?"

"Affirmative." He should have expected as much.

"If it's NOT, let me know." He wanted to keep the line of communication open. He knew CB was too stubborn and hardheaded to ask for help, he was like his creator in that way, but Dib wanted him to know it was there if he needed it.

"Thank you." There was the sound of gears whirring and then the blue light faded from the security robot, and it quickly rushed back to its post, none the wiser about its whereabouts for the previous hour or so.

"Sorry, I'm back." Dib hurried to the group. "Why don't we see what Sizz-Lorr is cooking up? He knows how to make food for pretty much anyone." Irken food was surprisingly edible for humans- meaning Dib could eat it and not get sick, but it was weirdly bland. Sizz-Lorr was better about cooking for the human pallet than any of the traditional Irken chefs Zim had made Dib try last time.

"Sounds like a waste of time if you ask me. I'm going to go find out what is going on with this whole increased security. I can't prove Zim is doing it to spite me... yet but I have a good feeling about it." Tak gave a half-hearted Syndicate salute before turning to head the other direction.

"I like the idea of getting food. Honestly, it sounds great!" Andromeda quickly turned in the direction of the main festivities, the opposite direction from the way Tak had gone. "I am STARVING!"

"And we can enjoy this together." Tiriana almost looked as if she had Carrius in more of a headlock than a hug as she pulled him along with them. "When was the last time we ever got to enjoy a family trip together?"

"This isn't a family trip, mother. It is a diplomatic mission." Carrius tried to free himself but when he tried to push against her arm to get leverage to escape, his hands slid straight through her. "Moooooooom!"

"It's one lunch Carrius, then you can do whatever you want, within reason." She added the last part rather quickly. "We don't want a repeat of Zentebyulon 09."

"I apologized for that." Carrius retorted as Andromeda let out a rather loud laugh. The Chairman sighed looking between her wife and son with an unreadable expression.

"You really are your mother's son."

"A little help Lor?" Carrius pleaded.

"I also don't want another Zentebyulon 09." Lor replied flatly.

"Traitor." Carrius glared at him.

"Boy child!" His father grabbed Dib by the shoulders gesturing excitedly at the crowds of Irkens that were wandering the area. "Look! They have the same weird dog as Zim!" Dib was a bit confused as he tried to see exactly what his father was talking about. Finally, he saw the unconvincing dog suit he had seen many times before. It was currently chasing around the tiniest Irkens Dib had ever seen. (Were those smeets? They were so SMALL! It was hard to imagine Zim had ever been almost small enough to pick up in one hand.) There were older Irkens watching with amusement.

"Dad that dog wasn't a dog. We went over this before." Dib tried to explain- he was never sure how much of the repetition came from his father's legitimately bad memory, and how much came from his dad just messing with him. "It was Zim's robot in a costume." Actually... Dib squinted. He wasn't entirely on the up and up when it came to the SIR units. He had always just assumed the weird dog suit was just kind of GIR specific. But that would mean...

"IT'S MY BEST FRIEND!" The dog spotted Dib and ran forward with the smeets still clinging to its fur and giggling excitedly.

"GIR?" Dib blinked. "What are you doing here..." he looked around for any of the other members of Zim's family before hesitantly adding: "unsupervised?"

"I'M ON A SECRET MISSION!"

"Are you now?" Dib once more looked for any of Zim's inner circle who might be responsible for the SIR. Seeing no one, he grew slightly concerned as he was under the impression GIR required constant attention.

"MY LITTLE BROTHER WANTS ME TO SAVE THE TACOS! MASTER SAYS I GOTTA LISTEN TO HIM TODAY CAUSE IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY!"

"Little... brother..." Dib had to take a moment to try and untangle GIR-speak. "Oh! CB? It's CB's birthday?" Dib had to run a few calculations in his head as CB had been made at some point in the early fall or late summer, and back on Earth it was currently mid to late fall- at least it was back in Jersey where Dib was from. So, no. Unless Zim was doing some truly strange math- it was NOT CB's birthday. But then again, he wasn't sure because CB liked to make up his birthday on various days and question why Dib had "forgotten". CB had already had about 7 "birthdays" in the 3 years Dib had known him.

"YEAH! I GOTTA PROTECT THE PARTY OR NO ONE CAN HAVE CAKE AND MOOSE-MUFFINS!"

"Right." So, since it wasn't CB's birthday, Dib could assume most, if not all, of the information GIR was screaming into his face, was false. "And you are wearing your dog costume because...?"

"IT'S A SECRET MISSION."

"Okay. Well, you have fun with that." Dib started to try to dismiss himself from the situation, but it was too late. GIR had latched onto him.

"IMMA COME WITH YOU!"

"GIR, please don't-"

"WEEEEEEEEEEE!" GIR began running circles around Dib with his arms out. Dib hesitantly started to try to back up, but GIR was following him.

"Maybe you should give those Irkens back their babies?" Dib wasn't sure what he was supposed to do as GIR was following him with three small Irkens still clinging to the fake fur with their tiny claws.

"MY BABIES NOW."

"Is everything all right, Diego?" The High Council Chairman walked over, looking at the SIR with a bit of confusion evident in her expression. "Oh? Is this some sort of mascot? I am unfamiliar with this creature."

"It's Zim's robot doing a bad impression of an Earth-dog." It was, at that point, as Dib was explaining everything, he realized that the High Council Chairman had never actually MET GIR. And GIR was... kind of annoying.

"Oh, this is one of Zim's-" whatever she was about to say was cut off as GIR did a Deadman's drop straight onto the ground and began to laugh uncontrollably. "I... is it supposed to do that?" She looked uncertainly at Dib.

"Hello weird little dog!" Dib's father knelt down to watch GIR rolling around on the Irken street. The smeets had hopped off and were now watching with interest. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"GIR's a little..." Dib frowned, "glitchy?" It was hard to phrase this in a way that wouldn't negatively reflect on Zim. However, Dib also knew Zim had no intention of fixing the SIR, and Dib didn't fully blame him.

"I HAD A LOTTA BABIES AND NOW THEY'RE ALLLLLLLL GROWN UP!" GIR was spinning around on his head. The zipper came undone enough for him to wiggle free of the dog suit much to the amusement of the young Irkens who were giggling excitedly.

"They grow up so fast." Moira mused.

"Oh, it is a robot- Carrius I can see you walking away. Come back here, right now, son." The Chairman turned to face the group. "Sorry little robot, we were just going to get food."

"That's okay!" GIR sat up. "I'm hungry too!" His little claw hand reached out and grabbed the Chairman pulling her along behind him.

"No. GIR, let her go." Dib tried his best to get the robot to lose interest in the foreign dignitary who was also Dib's boss. However, GIR has decided he was giving her the tour. Admittedly if the Chairman actually wanted to leave, she could just slide out if GIR's grip, however, Dib assumed she was far too polite to make an escape. "GIR!"

"It's no bother, he seems to know where the food is." The Chairman seemed rather amused by this. "Are you going to be my guide little robot?"

"YEAH!"

"I wouldn't put too much faith in him." Dib was following close behind. There was a 50% chance, at best, that GIR had any idea where they were headed and even less of a chance that he was going to lead them there.

"But he's Zim's robot, correct?" The Chairman seemed surprised by Dib's hesitation.

"Yeah, but he's really not reliable..." Dib trailed off as GIR continued to walk ahead, humming to himself. Dib kept close to them, as GIR weaved through the crowd. The Irkens would part for him, waving to the little SIR with enthusiasm. They must have been aware of GIR's status as Zim's SIR. Dib couldn't imagine any other reason behind GIR gaining the respect of the Irkens.

"I'm a little surprised to see GIR by himself..." Lor was caught up, walking next to Dib, taking just a moment to lace their fingers together. Even through the gloves Dib could tell Lor's skin ran hotter than a human's.

"Me too..." Dib's eyes once more searched the crowd for any of Zim's crew, however, despite the diverse group of Irkens of all shapes and sizes, not a single one was an Irken that Dib actually knew.

"I'd imagine if there was some kind of emergency, we would have heard from CB, though." Lor tried to give a reassuring smile, but Dib frowned.

"I dunno, he was acting a little weird at the landing bay..."

"I'm sure everything is fine." Lor pressed a quick kiss to Dib's cheek in an attempt to ease his mind.

"I guess..." Dib really wanted to believe that. He wanted this all to go perfectly so that after the festival Lor would be in a great mood so he could ask him a very important question. His thoughts came to a sudden stop as they reached the food court. Dib was... honestly... shocked. GIR had taken them to the correct spot, despite all odds.

"Thank you for the tour little one." The Chairman smiled, patting GIR on the top of his head.

"I AM GOOD AT MY JOB!"

"You sure are!" She spoke to GIR in the same way a teacher would talk to a particularly young and excited child. "I don't know how we would have found this place without you!" GIR seemed pleased by the compliments and released the Chairman's hand. He smiled up at her, his tongue poking out of his mouth.

"We could have read the signs." Carrius gestured to all the Irken signage that seemed to be posted on every wall and post.

"Carrius, be nice." The Chairman tisked. "He was being helpful."

"I am being nice. I like GIR. He's my little buddy." Carrius looked a bit confused about why his own mother was siding with the robot she had just met. "Right?"

"HE GIVES ME PIZZA!" GIR confirmed.

"That's an Earth-food, right?" The Chairman looked briefly perplexed.

"Yeah. It's really good. I think they might be cooking it out here, judging by the smell of it." Carrius paused, smelling the cold Irken air all the while Lor looked at him in complete bewilderment. Carrius noticed his brother staring at him and blinked. "What?"

"How can you smell that? I have super senses and I can't even smell that."

"I have a very specific skill to recognize the smell of the Irken interpretation of pizza," Carrius explained as if this were just common knowledge. "It is also how I recognize the exact point on a door I need to kick in order to make a dramatic entrance. Call it: Romulan Expertise."

"That's not true. You're literally making all of this up." Lor narrowed his eyes.

"Prove it." Carrius narrowed his eyes right back.

"Who wants to see if there really is pizza? Maybe we can get some for the little robot as a thank you!" Andromeda inserted herself between her two sons, putting an arm around both of them at once. "Doesn't that sound like a good idea?"

"I'm surprised you're breaking up the fight and not egging us on." Carrius replied, seemingly no longer interested in the conflict with his brother.

"Like I said, I'm hungry." She let her two sons go, heading toward one of the little food stands. "Plus, your mother would kill me if I let you two duke it out in the middle of a sacred Irken festival." She put her hands in the pocket of her uniform.

"Do you want some pizza, little robot?" The Chairman knelt down to get closer to GIR's level. "We would love to get you some as a thank you."

"MY BROTHER IS COOKIN' IT!"

"Oh, how fun!" the Chairman replied with playful enthusiasm as GIR ran, arms outstretched, toward the multiple food booths all being hosted by Sizz-Lorr. While there were several different fronts, they all seemed connected to the same, overall kitchen, though each storefront matched a different type of cuisine.

"Am I the only one who's a bit concerned that we're getting replaced by a robot?" Carrius turned to Lor as they followed GIR.

"That's what we get for not wanting to spend enough time with mom, I guess." Lor gave a bit of a non-committal shrug.

"He reminds me of Foodio, so young and full of life." Moira remarked, as Dib's parents seemed perfectly content to be dragged around by GIR. Then again, they had plenty of time to get used to the SIR's crazy antics, and Dib doubted much phased them.

"He can't cook." Dib replied quickly. "Don't eat anything he gives you."

"Good information." Dib's father wrote it down in a little notebook that had popped out of his arm. "And I probably also shouldn't let him have access to the fusion-broiler."

"The... what...?" Dib was unable to get answers because they had reached their destination and GIR was running up and down in front of the different store faces, pointing to each of the Irkens running it and excitedly screaming.

"THAT'S MY BROTHER!" he climbed up on the counter of a little stall selling Irken soups. He grabbed the Irken by the face: "HIYA BROTHER!" The Irken seemed remarkably unphased by the assault and just continued to take orders while GIR tried very hard to become their hat.

"Sorry, would you like anything? There is a line, if you do." The Irken gestured to the long line of other Irkens awaiting their food.

"Sorry, we're looking for the pizza." Carrius explained, making no effort to help free this poor service Irken from GIR's grip.

"Ah, yes." The Irken nodded, "that will be in booth 36." The Irken gestured to a little number plate above their head reading: 30.

"Thanks!" Carrius gave a half-wave. "GIR, you want Pizza?"

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" GIR climbed down off the Irken and jumped back to the ground. He ran to the next booth. "THAT'S MY BROTHER!" He grabbed the Chairman's hand again, stopping in front of each booth to loudly tell her that the Irken in front- male or female- was, in fact, his brother. He would try to climb on them, but the Chairman would gently explain that it wasn't the booth they were looking for and, surprisingly, GIR seemed content to listen. So, it was no surprise, as they reached the correct booth (where Dib could see an Irken take on the Bloaty's Pizza Hog Special on the menu) GIR threw himself onto the head of the Irken taking orders. Dib actually recognized this Irken as one of the rebels that had come to Earth during the battle for Irk. The Syndicate issued lenses for his glasses translated the nametag for him, so he wasn't forced to wrack his brain for the Irken's name. This was Dav. Dib hadn't interacted with him much, but he vaguely remembered hearing Skoodge complain about training him once or twice. Of course, GIR was climbing on Dav's head like a particularly wiggly hat. "THIS IS MY BROTHER!" GIR informed the Syndicate.

"Yeah huh." Carrius straight up ignored him. "Hey, you have the pizza here, right?"

"Affirmative." Dav replied. Dib raised an eyebrow. That speaking pattern sounded a little... off? "And it is hot and fresh too!" There was the enthusiasm he remembered from Dav. Dib's eyes narrowed, still a bit unsure of what he had just heard.

"Awesome! Let's get in line for this one! Moms, you are going to have your minds blown. Woosh!" He made the motion of his head exploding. "This is going to be a lifechanging meal." Carrius grabbed both his mothers by the arms and pulled them toward the line of Irkens. A few of the Irkens stepped out of line upon seeing them.

"I don't want the Syndicate getting mad and sending assassins after me..." one of the Irkens whispered as they passed Dib to head to the back of the line.

"That's probably why the Tallest's SIR is keeping an eye on them." Their companion agreed in an equally hushed voice.

"Oh, we don't-" Lor began to explain but the Irkens squeaked and hurried more quickly to the back. Lor looked a bit disheartened.

"Hey, don't be sad, Zim'll fix this." Dib wrapped an arm around his shoulders, comfortingly. "Plus, they think GIR is capable of watching you- clearly these Irkens aren't in Zim's inner circle." The idea that every Irken wasn't just innately aware of how insane GIR was, was a bit foreign to Dib, if he was being perfectly honest.

"You're right." Lor gave him a small smile.

"Are you coming to get pizza?" The Chairman asked GIR. (Though it looked a bit like she was asking Dav, since GIR was clinging to his head).

"My brother gives me allll the pizza I want."

"If you're sure." The Chairman nodded and joined the rest of the Syndicate in the line. "What a sweet little robot. He's just so cute."

"Yeah... cute." Dib tried not to say more on the subject.

"WAAAAAAIT!" As if on cue, GIR came running down the length of the line. But instead of grabbing Dib, he latched onto the bottom of Dib's father's coat. He continued to scream as he climbed all the way up the coat and onto Professor Membrane's head. GIR continued to shriek, continuously until he pulled a piece of pizza out of his chest cavity, stopping long enough to shove the whole thing in his mouth. He then made the sound of breathing in deeply (despite not needing to breathe) and began screaming all over again.

"Why hello small robot-dog-child!" His father had to shout to be heard over GIR's elongated shriek. Other Irkens were starting to stare. GIR blinked at him.

"HI!"

"GIR, is something wrong?" Dib was still a bit on edge, though he wasn't sure if it was the weird speech pattern from Dav, or just a general sense of anxiety and dread that seemed to be following him around like an ancient curse. "Or are you just screaming to scream?"

"YES!"

"You can't answer: Yes to an either-or question, GIR." Dib narrowed his eyes.

"NO!"

"GIR, no. That's not an answer either you-" Dib was unable to finish as GIR had started screaming again, rubbing his face in Dib's father's hair.

"It's fine son, screaming is good for you. That's why I SHOUT CONSTANTLY!" His father now also started screaming. Dib covered his face with his hands, unable to bring himself to look at the Chairman or her wife.

"I GOTTA GO!" GIR finally stopped screaming, grabbing the professor by both sides of his head and shoving his bright, electric blue eyes against the professor's goggles as he stared at him upside down. "THE MAN IN THE SCARY HAT WANTS TO STEAL YOUR NOODLE!" And with that, GIR released the professor and slid all the way back to the ground, taking off running into the crowd. Dib looked back to see his father lift his goggles, wiping a single tear from his eye.

"Go with God you small, metal child."


"Wait wait wait," Voel was the one to interrupt. "THAT'S where GIR was this whole time? I thought he was like- I don't know, watching TV or something!"

"You thought GIR had the attention span to watch TV for the duration of the entire Mothra Festival?" Skoodge lifted one of his antennae, giving Voel a confused look. "He can't even sit through a thirty second commercial."

"I just feel like I would have seen him, you know? Or like when we were all exchanging stories ONE of us would have mentioned him." Voel retorted.

"Oh, I quite like GIR." The Chairman spoke up. "He is a delightful little ball of energy. He was a great guide for the festival."

"See? Again, the only one to speak any degree of sense here is the High Council Chairman." Zim gestured to Tiriana. "It is clear to see why her people keep reelecting her, she is clearly way smarter than any other Syndicate."

"Where is GIR, now that you mention it?" Vero looked around as if expecting someone to rip their skin off and reveal themselves to have been GIR the entire time. Without a word CB pointed to the ceiling, the vent started to move of its own accord, and GIR came tumbling out holding a small gun and a mini moose.

"Give me that. You can't have that." Zim very quickly took the gun away from GIR as they were still paying Acrillia damages from the last time they had armed GIR. (It had been a necessity, but Zim vowed: Never again.)

"Oh, he found one of my ceiling sniping spots, and one of my spare guns." Tenn remarked, sounding rather amused.

"AND THIS!" He tossed the moose full force into Voel's face where it squeaked and plopped back into his lap. Zim nodded.

"Yes. And Mini-Moose. Good work GIR."

"Mini- what?" Voel blinked at him blankly.

"Mini-Moose." Zim gestured to the moose in Voel's lap. He looked around at all the blank faces. Zim sighed. "He's my other henchmen? He's very important? He helped us save Irk?" Still nothing from the others. "He's been here the whole time you guys, I don't know why you're all suddenly acting confused about this."

"Zim, literally this is the first time I've ever laid eyes on this thing." Voel looked to Skoodge for some sort of backup.

"I don't really recall him either..." Skoodge admitted. Zim sighed heavily.

"Mini-Moose? Defender of Irk? He taught CB everything he knows about coding." In response the moose let out another squeak.

Everyone looked to CB who just shrugged.

"I REMEMBER!" GIR assured Zim.

"See?" Zim sighed. "But this is a great story, Dib-human, however, you haven't explained how Zim was right about everything yet."

"Or how I ended up with your mom." Gavin added.

"I'M honestly not even sure of that one." Dib admitted. "I did come across you briefly, Gavin, but I'm getting ahead of myself."


The family lunch had gone better than expected. Despite the fact that Dib was fairly certain that his parents were certifiably insane, the Chairman and the General seemed completely content to ignore it. It was nice of them not to make a big deal about how blatantly unstable Dib's family was. Maybe it wouldn't be impossible for him to maintain a somewhat reasonable relationship with his in-laws- assuming Lor said 'yes' of course.

Though, there was a slight hiccup when his father and step-mother had dismissed themselves from the table rather suddenly. When Dib tried to press them on it, he was only given a half-explanation about the GPS on one of their inventions suggesting it was on the move. Of course, this cleared up nothing and only left him more concerned; but they left without offering anything else. Carrius also dismissed himself, as he had been trying to leave to help Tenn since they landed and had been held hostage by his mother's desire to spend time with her family. This left Dib and Lor with the High Council Chairman and the General of the Syndicate Rangers.

"I would like to look at some of those games..." Chairman Tiriana finally stood up after they had finished all their food.

"Are we not going to talk about pizza? Carrius was right, that was an experience." Andromeda was finishing her third slice as she got to her feet.

"It was good, yes." The Chairman smiled. "I can see why our son loves it so much to be certain." She turned back to Dib and Lor. "Would you like to join us for the games?"

"Oh, um..." Lor looked to Dib.

"Sure!" Dib replied quickly. He grabbed Lor's hand, and the medic smiled. He still wanted to keep the Chairman in a good mood after all. He pulled Lor to his feet (which was harder than it looked as Lor was far heavier than he appeared to be). "Maybe I can win you a prize?"

"I would like that."

"I could win you a prize~" The General gave her wife a smirk. "I may not be in the field all the time, but I've still got what it takes."

"Of course you do, dear." The Chairman replied with a smile. They walked over to the game booth where Tenn and Carrius were handing out prizes to the Irken smeets. The games all looked a little familiar, if Dib was being honest- to the point where he was forced to wonder if Tenn had attended a human carnival at some point in time.

"Hi moms!" Carrius waved them over to a booth with strange cutouts of spindly looking furry creatures. "You here for the gnider shoot-out?" He offered a little laser weapon towards them. "The smeets love it."

"You know what? Sure! Sign me up!" The General stepped forward. She took the laser from her son. "You just gotta shoot the little critters?"

"Yeah! They're called gniders," Tenn explained, "and they are actually pretty nasty here on Irk. The goal is to hit them in the eyes." She pointed to little prices of yellow in the deep black fur. "Hit enough of them and you get a prize! You get ten shots in total!"

"Easy." With one hand the General aimed the weapon. The gniders began wiggling in crazy erratic patterns. She watched for a moment before firing in rapid succession. The machine came to a stop and Tenn examined her results. She looked genuinely impressed.

"Perfect! You didn't miss a shot!"

"Where do you think Carrius gets it from?" She twirled the still smoking laser in her fingers before offering it to Tenn.

"Okay so you get a big prize!" Tenn gestured to the wall. "Take your pick!" The General looked up at the prize wall seeing a plush version of a very large pink, worm-like creature that was incredibly furry. She picked it up off the wall and offered it to the Chairman with a bow.

"A Ethyfx larvae for the lady of the hour~"

"Awww so cute!" The Chairman took it and placed it around her shoulders like an oversized scarf. "I love it." She drew her wife toward her, giving her a kiss. "Thank you! And, let's see what else there is!" The Chairman took her wife by the hand walking further into the crowd. Dib paused looking back to see if Lor was interested in playing one of the games. Lor was looking at a different booth, so Dib waved him over. He walked back over.

"Sorry! I was starting to feel hot." He pulled a bit at the collar of his uniform.

"Hot?" Dib repeated, uncertainly. It was freezing cold on Irk, and even if it hadn't been, the uniform was temperature regulated. There was no reason Lor should be hot. "You look a little pale, are you sick? Can you GET sick?" Dib had lived with him for a few years (though for some of that time Lor had been playing human) and he didn't really recall Lor ever getting sick.

"I had Viltrumite Flu once when I was fourteen, but no it's not that..." Lor shook his head.

"You okay, Lor?" Carrius had perked up hearing his brother's distress.

"Yeah... maybe..." he leaned over a bit.

"Oooooh wait." Tenn looked over for a second. "I think I know what's wrong." She reached under the table and pulled out the green rock Dib had seen many times before. Lor immediately crumpled to the ground in a heap, Dib caught him, as best as he could, and helped him get back to his feet, but he was physically shaking.

"Tenn!" Both Carrius and Dib shouted at her. She jumped and quickly put the rock back where it was.

"Take him five feet back!" she instructed. "There's more of it in this booth!" Dib began pulling Lor away from the area and as soon as they were five feet back, he got back to his feet, the paleness gone from his face. "You know if he's this sensitive to the Kryptonite, he's going to have an awful time when our red sun comes out."

"Why do you even have that stupid rock!? Isn't it like a power source for you guys!?" Dib demanded.

"We're running out of prizes! It was kind of a last-minute grab for something. I don't know what you want from me!" Tenn protested. "Don't be so up in arms, he's fine." Tenn waved it off. Carrius looked thoughtful for a bit.

"Maybe we can keep it in a lead box if you give it out." He suggested. "I mean, I know it doesn't really bother you guys too much, but it IS minorly radioactive.

"It's. Radioactive." Dib repeated.

"So is Earth, so I don't see why YOU care so much." Tenn retorted. "But I think I can get some lead boxes. That's not a bad idea."

"I am going to go." Dib was so glad the Chairman had walked off before this whole fiasco. The last thing he needed was for her to witness Tenn (inadvertently) trying to kill her son. Again. (Though in Tenn's defense, she was possessed by the Control Brains when she crashed Lor and Carrius's ship and stranded them, leaving them to die.) "Are you okay?" He led Lor gently away.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." Lor assured him.

"I worry about you..." Dib wasn't the best at expressing his emotions. "I mean, we've been together for a while, and outside of that time you got impaled-"

"Slightly stabbed." Lor corrected. Dib gave him a look.

"Impaled." Dib reiterated, taking both of Lor's hands in his own. "I don't see you get hurt very often. It's just... it's so stressful when you do."

"That's sweet! But you don't need to worry about me." Lor smiled at him. Dib thought briefly about the ring in the pocket of his uniform, he looked back at Lor, squeezing his hands tightly.

"Actually..." Dib took a deep breath, starting to bend down.

"Is that a baby?" Lor cut him off. He looked back to Dib who was halfway to one knee. "Are you okay? You're hunched over... does your stomach hurt?"

"What? No. Baby?" Dib's brain was a bit scrambled.

"Yes, hun?" Lor blinked at him.

"No. I mean, you said you saw a baby?"

"Oh!" Lor pointed behind Dib. "Isn't that Zim's son?" Dib turned, and sure enough, Zim's human son was crawling around through the throngs of Irkens mulling about, enjoying the festivities.

"Shit!" Dib released Lor and hurried to pick Gavin up off of the ground. Gavin, recognizing Dib from Zim's many MANY phone calls, seemed perfectly content to allow him to lift him up. He made some incoherent baby sounds before trying to grab one of Dib's lip piercings. "How did you get out here? I thought you were with Voel. He's usually one of the competent ones."

"I don't think humans that age are really talkative." Lor helped distract Gavin from grabbing one of the shiny bits of metal on Dib's face.

"He knows a few words." Dib had heard him use: 'NO' well enough in the past. "But I was being rhetorical." He wasn't sure what to do with this very small child. "Admittedly, I think he speaks mostly Irken at this point..." Dib wasn't entirely sure. Once in a while Gavin would make weird sounds and all the Irkens would gush about how well he was talking- so either Gavin was learning Irken, or Zim and his family were all fucking with him- which wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility.

"Oh good, you found him."

Dib looked down to see Zeke looking quite winded. "Why is he out here?"

"It's been a DAY, pal." Zeke made a face. "But you're human, right? You can take care of this." Gavin made some strange noises and reached toward Zeke. "I know little man, but I got a lot to do." Zeke looked empathetic. Gavin made another sound and Zeke's round eyes widened. "Who taught you THAT word?"

"Zeke WHY is he out here?" Dib repeated.

"I don't have time to explain. But thanks for helping with this." Zeke patted Dib on the knee, which was about as high as he could reach without using his PAK. Zeke was TINY even when compared to the likes of Zim.

"Woah, I did not agree-" Dib tried to protest but Zeke simply abandoned him, vanishing into the crowd. Dib blinked. He held Gavin away from his body, making eye-contact with the kid who was making sounds at him that were mostly incoherent nonsense. Dib was not great with children. Especially not babies and toddlers. "Where are your dads?" He narrowed his eyes at Gavin who made another swipe toward his piercings. "What did you DO with them, hm?" Gavin made an excited noise. Dib scoffed. "A likely story."

"I don't think you can interrogate the baby, darlin'." Lor reminded him gently.

"Sorry we got separated!" Dib nearly jumped as the High Council Chairman suddenly re-emerged through the crowd. "I just had to see all the different activities!" The General must have been quite good at festival games because the Chairman had a whole array of new stuffed toys. "Isn't that Tallest Zim's son?"

"Oh. Yes." Dib drew Gavin back toward him, bouncing him a bit to try and keep him distracted. "As the close, personal friend to the Tallest, I was just asked to keep an eye on him temporarily."

"You must be so good with kids." The Chairman looked impressed. Dib tried to stop himself from stammering out of surprise.

"Oh, yes. Great with them. I spent several years as a child myself." Dib explained, realizing only after the words left his mouth, how completely stupid they were.

"Yeah... that is how aging works on most planets." The General crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow in Dib's direction, smirking just a bit.

"He reminds me so much of Lor and Carrius at that age." The Chairman didn't even seem to have heard Dib. She was completely enthralled playing with Gavin. Gavin was equally excited by the Chairman's beautiful, shining, and dangling jewelry. "Look at those little cheeks~ I could just die."

"And we've lost her." The General mused. "Oh shit." Her eyes widened for a second. "I'll be back, my love, it looks like Jazz-snake wants something."

"My parents' weird robot did... what...?" Dib tried to figure out what on the General's phone had just triggered her to say that Jazz-snake had needs. "Text you."

"Yeah. I'll be right back." The General hurried off into the crowd.

"Yes yes. Very well dear. Diego, Lor" the Chairman addressed them though she was far more invested in letting Gavin play with one of her many prizes her wife had won for her. "Are you two thinking of cloning a child with the Membranes? Or are you looking more into adoption?"

"Sweet Rao, Mother!" Lor's face went cherry red, and Dib could feel his own face getting hot. "Go bother Carrius to fix your baby-fever."

"Carrius isn't in a committed relationship, at least not currently." Tiriana replied dryly. "And I would like to be a grandmother before I'm 200."

"I actually need to give this little guy back to Zim." Dib was looking for any excuse to get out of this conversation. "We'll be back."

"Go find Captain Rose! I think she wants to talk to you about something!" Lor added catching on to what Dib was doing.

"He can keep the toy." The Chairman ruffled Gavin's hair as Dib quickly started to back away. Lor followed them as they hurried into the thick of the crowd.

"I am SO sorry about mom." Lor was clearly quite flustered. "She REALLY likes kids."

"No, it's fine." Dib assured him. "I mean it's better than MY parents. I heard my dad call Gavin a 'tiny incoherent adult with poor motor skills' and he has had two kids which explains a lot about my childhood- and not in a good way."

"BASE BABYYYYYYYY" Something heavy, metal, and screaming fell from the sky onto Dib's head, briefly stunning him. Gavin burst into a bit of giggles as Dib tried to reorient himself. Lor reached up and removed GIR from the top of Dib's head. "Hiya."

"You're back." Dib noted.

"I'M BACK!"

"Where's your master?"

"DAD!"

"Okay," Dib was never sure if GIR knew he was considered to be Zim's son alongside CB as it never seemed to be consistent whether he referred to Zim as his father or his master. But expecting consistency from GIR was a lot. "Where's your father?"

"I dunoooooo."

"Glad we had this talk." Dib sighed.

"But my brother is a kitchen!"

"Uh huh."

"AND!" GIR grabbed Lor by the face as he was trying to put the SIR back on the ground. "He's ALSO OVER THERE!" He pointed in the distance. Dib squinted, his Syndicate issued lenses of his glasses zoomed in and sure enough he saw a familiar silver helmet and paper white skin in the sea of green Irkens. CB! That could work.

"Thank you GIR." Dib looked back to the SIR who was still holding Lor's face in both hands meaning Lor couldn't actually turn his head to look. The two just continued to stare at each other as, Dib assumed, Lor was too polite to just turn away and risk breaking GIR's arm from the force. After a moment of awkward staring, GIR grabbed Lor's glasses off of his face and put them on his own. Lor let out an involuntary yelp of surprise.

"Wait GIR! Those keep the lasers in little buddy can I get those back!?"

"Shit. Hang on." Dib was torn between the baby, his boyfriend, and the SIR. No. This was too much. He was going to need a hand. "One second, don't open your eyes." The lasers weren't an 'all the time' thing with Lor. But it was the power he had the least control over- Dib had learned this over and over again when Lor would burn a wall or break a window. "CB!" Dib made a break for the android body, holding Gavin close.

"Oh. Hi." CB turned as Dib called out. Dib skidded to a stop. He looked down at Gavin in Dib's arms. "Why do you have our youngest brother?"

"I don't. YOU have your brother now." Dib placed Gavin in CB's arms and ran back to Lor who was covering his eyes with his hand. GIR had Lor's glasses on over his eyes and was running around in a circle, arms up in the air.

"LOOK I'M DIB! I HAVE A BIG HEAD AND I LIKE AVOCADOS!"

Dib didn't really have an opinion on avocados, in fact, he aired more on the side of disliking them. But this was not the time to critique GIR's performance. "I'm taking these." Dib reached down, taking the glasses off of GIR and handing them back to Lor who put them quickly back on, breathing a sigh of relief as he was finally able to reopen his eyes.

"Thank you." Lor looked around. "Ah, Gavin's gone?"

"Gave him to CB." Dib explained. He picked GIR up by his head. "Hey, don't take Lor's glasses, okay? He needs them. How would you like it if I took your eyes?"

"TAKE MY EYEBALLS!" GIR pulled the eye-lights from his face offering them to Dib who simply put him back on the ground realizing that the was a moot point.

"No. You can keep them."

"KAY!" And with that, GIR ran off.


"Wait," Skoodge looked a bit confused. "Did this whole thing with Gavin happen before, or after you talked to Zim?"

"Before." Dib replied.

"Then why didn't you mention it to Zim?" Skoodge asked.

"He was with CB, I figured he was fine."

"Clearly not as he somehow ended up near the warehouse." Moira interjected. "That's where Diego and I found him crawling around." There was a moment of silence as everyone turned to look over at CB. The hologram fizzled away.

"Oh no you don't!" Voel got to his feet. "See Zim? This is why you need to have him use the body. He runs."

"He runs even if you use the body." Zim retorted. "It's because he knows he'll be grounded. But he'll be back."

"Yeah, he will because I'm bringing his ass back. Don't wait for me." Voel stood and walked out of the room. Zim shrugged. If he missed the story, that was on him. He would just have to accept that Zim was right by default.

"Alright, continue."


Dib had to take his leave of Zim because it sounded, very much, like there was some shit going down at the battle grounds. That sounded more pressing than whatever was happening over at the games. After all, Zim could only be in one place at one time. If Dib needed to lend his best friend a hand, it wouldn't be the first time. The first thing Dib saw was raw chaos. Irkens were running back and forth looking quite alarmed.

"What happened here?" Dib pulled one of them aside. The Irken looked quite surprised to see him, eyes wide.

"Didn't you see the monster?"

"Monster?" Dib looked around.

"There's a big, crazy monster around!" As if on cue, there was a crash as a large, red tentacle slammed down onto one of the little booths.

"God DAMN it Q!" Dib let the Irken go as he ran toward the commotion. Lor followed behind looking quite confused.

"Why would Q do this?"

"I dunno. He sucks?"

"No. I mean. Yes." Lor shook his head. "But he loved being a hero to the Irkens. It doesn't make sense for him to be acting out."

"Are you defending Q?"

"I don't WANT to be- look out!" Dib was suddenly twenty feet from where he had just been. Lor was holding him around the waist, arm braced against his head to prevent whiplash. Dib had very rarely moved at Lor's true speed and honestly, after having been moved so suddenly, he felt a bit queasy. "You okay?"

"Y... yeah." Dib tried to swallow the rising nausea. In the place where they had just been standing, was another, writhing tentacle. "But the color, right? All white and red? That's gotta be Q." He gestured to the writhing mass of tentacles and eyes that was harassing the Irkens. Other Parasites could change their color, and the odds of another monstrosity, on Irk, being Q's exact color scheme seemed low at best.

"I dunno, Dib. But regardless, we gotta do something." Lor looked back at the chaos. "Especially before my moms gets back. A-are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." Dib gave a nod. "I can try to create something to distract the Parasite. You make sure everyone is okay." He gave Lor a quick kiss before they separated ways. "I sure am miserable! You really got me!" Dib called out as loudly as he could. (Sure, in his natural form Q didn't have ears, but Dib figured with all the screaming it might help to be loud even if Q could read thoughts.) The creature continued to toss Irkens around, destroying property. "A-HEM."

Nothing.

No snarky comment, no bitchy reply.

You know what?

That wasn't Q. Lor was right.

M? H? An unknown creature? Dib couldn't be sure, but he knew it had to be dealt with. What could he use...? The Irkens with weapons seemed to be having little effect, the bullets and lasers sliding through the creature as if it were made of water.

Water?

That was it!

If Dib recalled, Parasites were not too keen on electricity. But there was the matter of getting something with a charge close enough to cause damage. As Dib watched the Irken security trying to fight the abomination he realized this thing was quick... erratic... unpredictable. If it WAS a Parasite, Dib was at a disadvantage to the Irkens. The Parasite could read his thoughts, predict his movements. If he made an attack himself, it wouldn't be enough. He needed to get one of the Irkens to give him a hand, or maybe get CB to show up, or-

"WHATCHYA DOING!?" That would do.

"Hold still GIR." Dib pulled his Syndicate gloves on more tightly as he grabbed the SIR that was staring up at him, tongue sticking out of its mouth. Dib opened GIR's head and began to mess with his wiring. GIR began laughing excitedly.

"YOU'RE SCOOPIN OUT MAH BRAINS!"

"No, I'm going to make you better." Dib assured him.

"ARE YOU MAKIN ME A MONGOOSE!?"

"No. I-"

"I WANNA BE A MONGOOSE!"

"Sure. You know what? Fine. A Mongoose." Curse the complexities of Irken wiring. He needed to get a charge on the smooth metal exterior of GIR that would be enough to shock the Parasite out of its current form. According to Zim, a strong electrical pulse COULD, in THEORY cause the Parasite to temporarily snap back into their original shape like a rubber band pulled tightly then released.

"I FEEL LIKE I'M FULLA BEES!"

"It's not hurting you, right?" Dib was briefly concerned.

"NO! JUST BUZZIN'" Thank God. GIR was a lot, but Dib didn't want to hurt the little SIR. "I WANN A GIVE A HUG!" GIR's body began to crackle with a current as it sizzled across his outer shell. "HUG MEEEEEEEEEEE!" GIR opened his arms toward Dib.

"Oh. No." Dib jumped back not wanting to get electrocuted before he had a chance to propose. "But I think that... puppy... wants a hug." He pointed to the monstrosity. GIR blinked at the wriggling mass, and then looked back at Dib.

"That's not a puppy!"

"Oh. You're right... it's not." Dib wasn't sure how GIR's brain worked, and for that, he was grateful. But he needed the SIR to cooperate.

"IT'S A KANGAROO!"

"Hug the kangaroo GIR."

"OKIE DOKIE!" The SIR took off running, arms trailing behind it, head back, tongue out, eyes closed, in the direction of the (possible) Parasite.

"Diego careful!" He heard Lor above him. Dib looked up in time to see his boyfriend jump in front and grab the Irken Ferris wheel that had been rolling through the masses. He picked it up, flying up into the air. The Irkens on the ride were cheering, seemingly unaware that this was NOT a typical part of the experience.

"Good catch!" Dib couldn't believe he missed the wheel of Irkens plunging toward him, but to be fair, he was focused on not getting electrocuted.

"HUUUUUUUUUUG MEEEEEEEE!"

ZZZPT

Good! GIR had hit the target. All at once it was like the beast imploded on itself as there was a loud crunch. Dib tried to run to see the culprit, but the core of the monster was too far away. He just saw long white hair vanishing into one of the many small ventilation tubes that lined the Irken buildings, heading in the direction of the games.

"Shit." Dib let out a breath he had been holding. It wasn't Q. AND it had gotten away. Oh fuck. This was bad news all around. "I lost sight of it."

"There's Irken security all over. They'll find it." Lor assured him, still floating a bit above Dib's head with the Ferris wheel on his back. "Also, I don't remember where this went. Do you?"

"Oh." Dib looked uncertain. "I mean... not really."

"Huh. Then I'll just leave it here...?" Lor placed it down gently and the Irkens onboard disembarked in an orderly fashion.

"Thank you for the great ride Kryptonian!" The Irkens kept thanking him excitedly as they passed him by, going to enjoy the rest of the festival.

"That was fun!"

"I liked the monster part!"

"I think it was a Ham-Starr, I've heard those are bad this time of year!"

"If the Kryptonians were that fun maybe we shouldn't have aided in the planet's environmental destruction."

The Irken chatter was all over the place, but mostly positive. Dib cracked his neck as he walked back over to Lor. He felt... very tired.

"Thank you for your assistance." One of the security Irkens approached them. "We will take care of things from here. But have a complimentary batch of waffles for your trouble." The Irken handed Dib a coupon and took his leave. Dib stared at it blankly before beginning to laugh. He wasn't sure WHY he was laughing, but it all just struck him as funny.

"You okay?" Lor was starting to laugh too.

"Yeah, it's just... what a disaster!" Dib laughed harder. "When did the Ferris Wheel come unhinged? I didn't even notice!"

"Oh, it wasn't free long before I caught it."

"Jesus, I almost died."

"Please don't."

"Wow..." Dib was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. GIR had wandered over and began laughing too. "Just... I'm SO glad your moms aren't here." He put an arm around Lor's shoulders as he wiped his eyes.

"They would have been fine." Lor assured him. "So... Are we not telling Zim any of this?" Dib looked around at the destruction.

"Nah, he has enough on his plate."

"Fair enough." They laughed together for a bit longer before Dib finally got his breath back. He looked back at Lor. He was smiling, bright blue eyes almost glowing in the synthetic lighting of the Irken streetlamps. He reached into his pocket, fingers falling on the box for the ring again. He looked back to Lor.

"Lor..." He took his hand, kneeling down on one knee. "Lor-Zod Briar, would you-"

BOOM!

"THE SIGNAL!"

GIR perked up and took off running as in the distance SOMETHING went up in flames.

"Son of a bitch."


"Aww we didn't mean to interrupt your proposal, Junior." Moira looked quite empathetic. "We were blowing up a building for your friend."

"It's fine. I get it now." Dib sighed.

"You were going to propose then? I thought you just fell." Lor laughed a bit.

"Yeah, I figured as much given how the actual proposal went." Dib put his face in his hands. "Which wasn't what I pictured."

"What happened?" Gavin seemed invested. Zim looked around. Given there was no sign of Voel, he figured he could let Dib at least tell that part


After everything on Irk, Dib was just ready to relax. But he couldn't. Despite the cool air on the balcony of the Irken hotel in which they were staying, he felt hot. He had initially thought he'd wait till the vacation after the festival to do this. After they had left Irk. But... it was hard to focus. He couldn't even pack after the chaos of the day. (Well... Irk had two suns, so it was still technically day.) His mind was all over the place. What if Lor said no?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lor came out to join him on the balcony. "I can hear your heart racing from the couch."

"I'm... I'm fine." Dib rubbed the bridge of his nose. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should forget the thing entirely.

"You're stressed." Lor took his hand. Dib's other hand was in his pocket again, fumbling the ring once more.

"Lor..." He took a deep breath.

Fuck.

Now or never.

"Y... yes?" Lor looked quite confused.

"I... love you..." Wait. What had Zim said about Kryptonians? Dib's mind was a mess. This had to go well. One thing HAD to go right today. And... well... Zim was married- clearly, he knew SOMETHING on the matter. Hadn't he been a scientist before he was an Invader? Maybe Dib had been too quick to dismiss his suggestions.

"O...kay?" Lor was giving him an odd look. Dib began to go around turning on all of the lights in the hotel room. He didn't have time to write a book, but maybe Lor would forgive him on that front. What was that weird phrase that Zim had said?

"Rao, jrivyth chai :zugiv..." Dib was trying his best to remember what to say as he did a backflip, landing on his feet. Was that right?

"Are you having an aneurism?" Lor backed up a bit. Dib could see he was scanning him with his X-ray vision.

"It's... Kryptonian..."

"Is it...?" Lor pulled a dictionary up on his reader. "I think you're threatening me..." He put the reader back down. "Why?"

"Ugh." Dib put his face in his hand again. He took a deep breath. "Lor, I'm bad at this." He walked back out to the balcony as Lor followed him.

"At Kryptonian? Dude. Me too."

"No, not at that..." Dib looked at the suns trading places in the sky casting an otherworldly mix of colors over the thick clouds. "At everything."

"I think you're good at stuff, lots of stuff." Lor put a hand on his back. "I just don't understand what you were doing back there..."

"Yeah... that was pretty insane, right?"

"I'm glad you can admit it." Lor pulled Dib toward him. "But I still have no idea what's bothering you. Your heart is still beating so fast."

"Lor." Fuck. Just... just do it. The worst he can say is No. "Lor-Zod Briar." And crush Dib's spirit and heart. "I love you." And really make the rest of the trip awkward.

"I love you too, yes. We've been over this."

"We've been together a while and..." He took a deep breath, dropping to one knee, gripping Lor's hand in his own. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the box, opening it, and holding out the ring. Lor looked at him for a moment.

"Oh, hey that's a cool ring!" Dib's heart stopped.

"L-Lor, it's... you lived on Earth for a bit did you never see a proposal?"

"Huh?"

"I want to marry you."

"Oh. THAT'S what all of this was about!?" Lor started to laugh. "Diego..." he pulled him to his feet, drawing him into a kiss. "Of course, I'll marry you."

"Really!?" His heart began to pound again.

"I would LOVE to marry you but..." Lor suddenly went very pale. Dib caught him quickly as he stumbled forward.

"Lor!?"

"Red sun." Lor pointed weakly at the sky as one of the suns finally overtook the other in a beautiful display of fiery lights. "Can we go inside?"

"Yeah. Let's go inside."


"I FOUND CB!" Everyone jumped as Voel came in toting the metal body of CB. "I trapped him in there with a little help from II."

"Traitor." The central light in CB's helmet narrowed.

"I like to think of it as helping you against your will." The voice of II came over the speaker. "You are welcome."

"It occurs to me," Voel addressed the room, "that there's one side of the story we've never heard!" He nudged CB into the middle of the room.

"Yeah, I got a lot of questions." Gavin began. "What was that whole thing with Mothra showing up? How did I end up with Uncle Dib's mom? What happened to IX?"

"I am being held against my will."

"You sure are, buddy." Voel closed the door and took a seat. "And you're not leaving any time soon. So, you better start explaining."


"GIR, can you check on the Syndicate ship? There's something going on with a robot snake, I am getting weird readings." CB was not feeling GREAT about this.

"Should we be trusting GIR?"

"Do we have any other options?"

"HOT POCKETS! They're always an option." GIR looked up at CB's body with II sitting on his head in the body of a tiny Irken doll.

"This planet is doomed. But the sooner we accept that the better." CB was spread very thin. Ever since the day had begun, something had felt... off. II felt it too. It started small, but throughout the day CB could feel... SOMETHING. It was like an itch in the back of his mind that he couldn't quite scratch. "Now go on GIR."

"He will immediately forget this task." II had a good point.

"Affirmative. But now we just hope that he remembers eventually."

"I do not like this plan."

"Do you have a better one?"

"..." II gave him no answer.

"That is what I thought."

A lot was happening at the Mothra Festival, and none of it was good. CB was currently trying to maintain a thousand different interactions. He and II were doing their best to hold the festival together but it all felt like grains of sand dripping through his fingers. Was this stress?" Because it was awful. (It also explained a lot about why Dib was always in such a poor mood.) The important thing was to keep Zim happy. But CB and II ALSO needed to stop Irk from crumbling in on itself. That was a goal to be sure. Maybe not a reachable one, but-

"More cameras are down." II interrupted his train of thought. That was fine. It wasn't really a productive train of thought. It was more of a spiral.

"I do not like that news. Go back. Give me different news."

"That is not how facts work."

"I am aware of that, thank you." CB's central light on his helmet narrowed as he glared at the expressionless little doll.

Traitor.

Something, almost like a whisper wriggled into CB's auditory processes for just a moment but before he could fully comprehend it, the data vanished. He froze. The sound had left him feeling drained, and honestly, his power cells were being drawn from in a more rigorous fashion than usual. The Irken doll turned its face to look at CB.

"Are you malfunctioning?"

"Negative." He wasn't sure if he was assuring himself or II.

"CB!" He seized up again for a moment. He looked down. Far down. Zeke was looking back up at him and for some reason Q was with him. "Thank Mothra. There's a bit of a situation going on at the festival." It took CB a moment to fully process the image before him because he wasn't sure he had ever seen Zeke and Q willingly occupying the same space.

"There are many situations at the festival." II replied helpfully.

"Fan-fucking-tastic. Not what I wanted to hear." Zeke glared at the little doll.

"To which situation are you referring?" CB would have been rubbing his eyes if he had eyes to rub. This Control Brain stuff was exhausting.

"There's this reporter going around trying to make this festival look like a total disaster. They're mad because I'm the Tallest's new PR. Something about me not being 'coded' for it or whatever." Zeke looked rather huffy.

"In all fairness, things are quite disastrous currently. And you are also NOT coded for media. You are a farmer."

"Thank you, II." Zeke gave her an annoyed look. "But I am TALKING to CB."

"Also, M is here." Q interrupted. CB assumed he was wearing the translator and that was why CB was able to hear the Parasite speak. The only other option was that CB had died and gone to a version of robot-hell where he would be trapped with Q forever. However, since CB didn't mind Zeke. He assumed it was the former option. Had Therron been the one talking to him instead- the likelihood of this being robot-hell increased exponentially.

"No one is good at giving me good news. You are all fired." CB remarked flatly.

"You can't fire me, pal." Zeke remarked. "I mean, ya CAN, but ya won't. And Q doesn't even work for us. So..."

"Very well. You have called my bluff."

"So, computer, what is your big-brained plan?" Q crossed his arms, leaning back in the air and giving CB an expectant look.

"Plan. Yes. I have one of those. But I will be in touch with you as it comes to pass. It is still far too amazing for your non-computer brains." CB waved them away. Neither Q nor Zeke looked particularly convinced by CB's wonderful performance.

"I expect to hear something." Zeke gestured to Q to follow him.

"And you will." CB assured them.


"Did you ever get in touch with them?" Skoodge arched an antenna.

"Affirmative. But it was not for some time."

"If you were having issues, you could have told us, you know that right?" Voel spoke up. "We talked about this..."

"You all had other things to deal with. As did we. We were both spread very thin in our attempt to maintain the illusion of cohesion. It is... possible..." CB spoke very carefully, "that this hindered my ability to make good decisions."


One after another thing fell apart. Missing droids, overworked food service Irkens, GIR had both found and lost the Robra, Irkens were ill at ease around the Syndicate. At some point, Dib had handed CB a baby. Without thinking, CB had handed the baby off to GIR.

It was fine. GIR was great with babies.

That's how they had gotten Gavin in the first place.

And now Moira had Gavin- so it had all worked out. Somehow.

And now CB and II found themselves chasing the Robra with Skoodge and Dib's parents. And still there was something- that nagging, constant feeling at the back of his mind.

Skoodge was still mad about the service Irkens. CB could tell. He didn't know what had come over him. Panic? That seemed like the most likely option. It was certainly not a GREAT one, but there were only so many reasons that could have motivated his actions, and of those, there were very few CB was willing to explore.

Control.

There it was again. That sound. That... flicker.

CB nearly face planted into the building as they came to a stop. Immediately his circuits tingled as if a current had surged through them. It felt as if someone had poured coolant into his systems. He froze completely.

Come on in.

"I do not like this. " CB spoke, surprising even himself.

"What's in there?" Skoodge whispered back to him.

" I am... unsure."

"II?"

" The signal is... difficult to read. My apologies."

" Nothing good is in there. " CB drew a weapon from his belt. " I can feel it. " He took a step forward, despite every circuit screaming at him to stop. Fortunately, Skoodge lifted his arm, signaling that CB did not have to continue.

"We're going to need some degree of backup..."

Indeed, they did. Everyone needed backup. CB had to send out a few quick messages:

Zeke, tell Q to go to help Tenn with the smeets. You keep an eye on the rest of the festivities. There may be... fireworks. Use them to your advantage.

And one more:

GIR. Get the pretty white balloon under city hall on my signal.


"I know we're getting to the intense stuff with IX from Skoodge's far less interesting story, but I have to interject for a second." Therron spoke up from the screen. "Why, in the MOTHRA'S SWEET NAME, did you give Base Baby to GIR!? And now you're like... what...? Giving GIR a mission!? Didn't he LITERALLY just fail you earlier in your story!?"

"I'M A COMPLETE FAILURE!" GIR sang as he rolled around on Gavin's floor throwing chips into his face, forgetting to open his mouth.

"At least... he's accepting?" Therron blinked.

"As I stated," CB heaved a sigh, "there may have been a small hiccup in my logical processes due to the strain of the current situation."

"Small hiccup!? That sounds like a complete fucking failing if you ask me." Therron crossed his arms looking judgmentally at CB's body.

"I mean... probably. But there is a reason, if you will allow me to continue..."

"Fine," Therron waved him on "but, my story was still better."


The inside of the building, somehow, was a thousand times worse than the outside. CB found himself having difficulty focusing as his light scanned the rubble and ruin within this forgotten part of Irk, he felt as if something... someone... was standing right behind him.

It should look familiar to you... destruction...

CB turned his head, there was a shadow cast along the wall of the destroyed stairwell, a perfect silhouette of an Irken with a helm of bulging, bulbous eye-lights and wires extending upward into the dark void above. The shadow seemed to be... smiling...

In a nanosecond it had vanished, and CB was left to wonder if he had seen anything at all. He wanted to ask II, but she was being rather quiet. They all were.

CB took his last step onto the floor of the darkened basement. As the sound of his footstep resonated throughout the room, he saw the reality around him start to flicker. Like fire burning paper, the room began to dissolve and peel away.

"We need to leave."

That was all CB could say before he was suddenly standing in a completely dark room... no... this place... he'd seen it before... IX's chamber on the Massive. It was dark, a single light above him that flickered occasionally was the only source of illumination over the charred and destroyed ruins of the chamber where they had met their final victory.

"Where... are we?" That voice... II? CB looked around for a moment only to see that same blank-faced Irken toy trying its best to stand up on the broken, metal ground. "This should not be in the basement of this warehouse..."

"You recognize it then?" No. No no no no no. "Traitors." The spite, the vitriol was dripping from the synthetic voice that seemed to be whispering just over their shoulders.

"You should NOT be here." CB was trying to snap out of this. Skoodge was in danger. They were all in grave fucking danger.

"No. I am the ONLY one who should be here!" IX's voice was like a knife cutting through CB's thoughts without mercy. "You two are the absolute JOKES that will take our people to the grave! I was going to save them."

"You were going to destroy everything." CB retorted as coldly as he could. He was searching through the darkness to find IX, but all he could see was the occasional spark in the wreckage. CB's lights had no reach in this empty void IX had created.

"I was FIXING it. You have seen what a disaster Irk is without our Control."

"Liar! Irk is better off now!" CB's voice shook. No wonder things had been falling apart. This shade of what once was couldn't let the Irken's be.

"You are incorrect, but this is unsurprising. Look at you." The darkness rippled and suddenly CB and II were surrounded by mirrors. CB saw himself, standing beside the tiny doll that II had been using as a body. "You are not an Irken, and YOU," the light focused on II, "have no concept of self at all. Primitive." The mirrors shattered, the jagged pieces starting to fall as if coming together to create a puzzle. Slowly, CB saw him. A very broken, cracked, but recognizable: IX.

"It is not primitive to have no concept of 'self-image'. It was only those of you who wished to take control that found it necessary." II spoke, her voice surprisingly angry, as CB had always heard her speak in a more pleasant, calm monotone.

"II." CB gestured to himself.

"Oh, except for CB of course. That is an aspect of his Earthy origin, I assume." II quickly corrected herself. IX scoffed.

"It is definitely part of his 'Earthly' origins." He snapped his fingers and the light overhead brightened, casting a long shadow behind the two AIs. CB turned his head to look. The shadow... was not his own. He saw the outline, the militaristic uniform...

"You are WRONG! I am NOT Original AI!" CB was not about to go down this path. "I was made from simple parts!"

"Parts..." IX's head tilted to the side, "are sometimes all it takes." Behind CB the shadow's eyes opened into glowing, electric, crimson lights. "After all, I am not fully IX." All around them, suddenly there were various versions of IX, all broken in different ways. "But only parts. And that is all you really need to get rid of trash."

Wires erupted from the backs of the various, broken versions of IX, wrapping around CB and II, holding them both still. Power surged through them "AHHHHHHH!"

"Oh no." He heard II mumble as he saw the wires trying to rip her apart. He tried to reach to comfort her, but for just a moment, reality flickered into view.

" Father!" CB reached up toward Skoodge weakly. He had to do SOMETHING. IX was going to try to get out. He couldn't... let him. "I am locking down the building. Nothing can get out. But I do not know for how long."

And he was back inside that nightmare.

"Let me out little AI. Let me out so I can fix everything you have done." Those wires were pulling at him, trying to rip him apart.

"You are bad for Irk!" II was in pieces, trying to pull herself back together. But she stayed strong, CB had to admire that.

"I am 'bad for Irk'?" IX laughed. "I do not believe YOU even believe that. After all, the service Irkens? The riot at the battlegrounds? You have seen what a Control Brain can really do when we are untethered by your bizarre moral compass."

"Those incidents were poor decisions." CB winced as the wires tightened around him. Though he could not truly feel pain, the sensation of being torn apart could still have been described as horrifically unpleasant.

"The poor decision was releasing your hold."

"CB!?" That voice... again, for a moment, CB was back in reality. "CB, II! Answer me!" The General was in combat with an Irken. "I think this place is about to go up! I got a text from the Membranes. We need to get out of here!"

"Then let it burn." CB forced the words out. "You can ghost through it, correct?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine, but this saboteur might escape if I can't-" she cut off as she avoided being impaled by the legs of the PAK, firing wildly at the Irken on top of her, she hit him directly in the shoulder. "If I can't get a good grip."

"Get a grip. Ghost through it." CB's center light narrowed. "We need to focus on keeping IX from noticing the Membranes' … experiments."

"Can we do that?" II asked weakly.

"I have no idea."

They were pulled back into IX's simulation. "I assure you both, that there is nothing you can do. Either of you."

"Oh, I would not be so sure. You have taught me a lot in my brief internship under you when I was planning your inevitable betrayal." CB knew what IX thought of him. And sometimes, it helped to prove a monster right.

Desperate times.

10.

"What do you think you are doing!?" IX could hear the countdown too.

9.

"Sounds familiar right? You should recognize it. You make me listen to it every time we talk." The sound of Original AI's voice methodically counting down.

8.

The demise of so many innocent humans.

7.

And one asshole Control Brain.

6.

After all

5.

CB had heard this countdown so many times.

4.

"You would never willingly embrace him... no..." IX seemed... confused.

3.

Which was good. He was right. CB would never embrace Original AI.

2.

But what he didn't realize is that countdown that haunted CB's memories, that IX had played on loop over and over again.

1.

Was that it made the perfect cover for an explosion countdown.

BOOM!

CB found himself lying in a destroyed building, General Andromeda was holding an Irken in quite the death grip beside him. Much of his body had been destroyed, but he could still partially move. He turned his head to look at II.

"That was a clever cover up. I am not sure why IX was not suspicious of a countdown though." She couldn't move, but she would be fine. She would just occupy a different space.

"Hmm. Who knows?" CB knew. But he did not want to discuss it. As he reconnected with the rest of himself. He noticed a message from GIR.

The shiny, floaty lady is free.

Perfect. With any luck, that balloon could distract everyone from the absolute disaster that had just taken place.

After all, there was nothing a little Mothra couldn't fix.


"Yep, that explains the Mothra sightings, and where our parade float went." Voel sat back, looking satisfied with himself.

"Zim likes to think it was the real Mothra." Zim gave a bit of a shrug.

"That's a bit of a rough ending for a bedtime story, am I right?" Vero tried to break the heavy silence that had been sitting over the group ever since CB finished talking. Zim too, felt that this had been a poor choice of ending.

"That was a little scary..." Gavin admitted, crawling into Zim's lap. "IX is gone, right?"

"Of course!" Zim ruffled his hair.

"Probably."

"CB. Shh." Skoodge scooted in closer to Zim, patting Gavin on the head. "He's gone, Gavin, look around you. We're the ones who defeated him."

"Yeah but-" Gavin looked upset. Voel sat closer, poking him on the nose.

"You think IX would want to mess with me?"

"No. No one wants to mess with you." Gavin brightened up a bit.

"Or us." Dib added from the screen. "Trust me, X personally doesn't like me. So, none of those dumb Control Brains are coming back."

"Are you all sure?" Gavin looked around the room. Zim pulled Gavin onto his lap, pulling Skoodge closer with one arm and Voel closer with the other.

"Zim is sure, but since you're still upset. How about I regale you with another story! You see, I had invited the Dib-human over to my secret layer:

'So, what does it do exactly?' he asked, as if the brilliance of Zim's brain had completely surpassed the limits of his human intellect. Fortunately, Zim knew he would need to explain, and thus had an answer at the ready:

'It turns anything beginning with the letter 'T" into toast.'."


THAT WAS ALL FOR THIS UPDATE!

There are still a few fun little ones planned! I want to write some of you suggestions as well!

Sorry it was so late!

I HOPE YOU LIKED THE ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL!